TRIGGER WARNING: There are mentions of dark subjects in this chapter. If you are sensitive to this, I have put * where the discussion begins and where it ends. Please be cautious. I like my readers to enjoy reading my story and I do not want to put you in an uncomfortable position. Nonetheless, enjoy.

This has not been edited.

        Stella is still asleep.

She's been a sleep for eight hours. Rosalyn has taken Liam's harsh words to heart and is now blubbering like a baby to anyone who will listen about how sorry she is. I don't put the blame on her, but rather Alfie's friends. Dr. Ackhart is busy nursing the kid's broken nose. Liam smirks at me any chance he gets. 

Belle and I take turns watching over Stella and so does Jeremy. He's oddly quiet for once as he sits on her bed. He turns to face me as I lean against the frame of the door. 

"Is this what is was like when I was on unconscious?" He asks. "I mean, this worrying?"

There is no trace of humour on Jeremy's face, or even a hint of a smile. He hasn't attempted to crack a joke within the hours of Stella sleeping, not even Alfie's friends leered close. It's uncanny. 

"Yeah," I mumble and I offer him a small smile. 

"I should have went to check on her. I remember her walking off and Kev following her and I didn't even process it. She could have drowned." He murmurs the last sentence quietly. "We were all so happy and carefree last night. I should have expected something would happen; you can only be happy for so long."

"Kev should have pulled her from the water. Taken her back to the house. But he didn't. It's his doing at the end of the day." I say and I make my way to sit next to him, clasping my hand over his. It's a strangely intimate gesture, one that I am not use to sharing with Jeremy. "Don't put the blame on yourself. It'll eat you away."

I speak from experience. 

"Secrets are eating us away, Ronnie," Jeremy says. He appears different when he says this. Something in his eyes indicates to me that he speaks with experience as well. It's different to see him so solemn that I nearly feel uncomfortable. But this is his best friend. Our best friend. And we are both just as confused as to what Stella went through. 

Jeremy gently removes his hand from mine. He reaches and brushes a finger across her forehead, running down her cheek. It so soft and tender and loving. Stella and Jeremy fight a lot, but at the end of the day, they still care for one another equally. They've grown up together, grown to know each other. Stella has beat up many in his honor and Jeremy has always been her back up. "I've never seen Stella crumble like that," He murmurs as he retracts his hand. "It's weird."

I don't know what to say, so I agree and we sit in silence, listening to Stella's breathing. Belle interrupts us later and calls us down to dinner. Jeremy says he will join us later, though I don't believe him, I nod and tell him to take his time.

Surprisingly, conversation flows easily at the dinner table.There is no mention of what happened earlier. Belle and I are the only one's that are quiet. Liam is a no show, but I don't mind. 

I discover why later when he comes down and tells me Dr. Ackharts want to see us after dinner. I finish quickly. "I'll swing by your room later tonight," I say to Belle. She nods and collects my plate and I walk with Liam up the stairs. 

"He says he found some stuff on what Jeremy injected himself with," Liam murmurs as we round the corner but he stops me before we enter. "Ben's pissed."

"I'm not surprised." It's the first thing that comes to mind and Liam quirks an eyebrow at me. "He probably thinks we're not taking this seriously."

"Yeah, he didn't appreciate everyone drinking either." Liam chimes. "But the rest of the group aren't taking it seriously."

"Weren't most of these kids parents or siblings killed by the Purgatory?" Liam nods at my question. "It seems like everyone's mom or dad is dead.."

It makes me wonder what our makeshift band of misfits would think if they found out I was related to the daughter of the former Alpha of the Purgatory. I have Purgatory blood pumping through my veins. Would they somehow find a way to blame me for their parents or siblings death? I've yet to tell Liam, so I cannot ask about the subject. But something in me itches to tell him now. I fear someone might hear.

I can only imagine them running up the stairs and voting for me to be torched. I'm related to the enemy, as dramatic as it sounds.

It makes me think of what my life would have been like if the Purgatory hadn't fallen apart and turned dark. I'm not sure I would have come to exist if it wasn't for my mom having me with my father. She would have been forced to mate with Beckett and he probably would have made the pack just as corrupt as it is today.

I think of Adam and how he could deal with that man being his father. I think of the abuse Adam must have suffered and is currently suffering. I don't think he's dead - can Beckett be that heartless to kill his child? - but he must be regretting helping us now. I vow that when the Purgatory is taken down, we'll return to Oregon and I'll kill Beckett. Slow and painfully and I wonder if Adam will hate me or rejoice. I still can't get over the fact that Adam was in love with me. That he wrote a play about me. 

I still find it hard to believe that Liam can put up with me so I find it extra hard to believe that Adam loved me. 

"That's why these kids were sent, Ron," Liam wraps his arms around my waist and he starts to lead me once again to the infirmary. I have nothing to say but his statement makes me think of what Belle said yesterday.

These kids were sent here because they have no attachments. If they are to die, who will be there to grieve? The thought makes my stomach churn. 

We arrive at the infirmary and find Dr. Ackhart at his desk, ruffling a hand through his hair but he quickly jumps when he sees us. He hurriedly collects some papers, shuffles them, and then gestures us to sit. 

Just like Belle, Dr. Ackhart has the habit of making you feel uncomfortable. Liam has to pull me to sit. 

Dr. Ackhart fishes out a bullet contained with the blue liquid. "You had the right idea in the beginning, Ronnie," He informs me as he passes the bullet over to us. I roll it between my fingers as I wait for him to continue. "These are what hunters are using in the area."

"What? Hunters are using this? Humans?" Liam is bewildered. So am I.

"I'm pretty sure they developed it. I spoke with a few locals as I pretended to be interested and they directed me to a man. I got a look at his gun when he exited the room and the bullet matches. I think it's a tranquilizer.."

"Do they know that it's actually people they are shooting at?" I ask. They must have if they developed a special kind of bullet just to take a wolf down. 

"That I'm not sure of," Dr. Ackharts stares down at a paper. "But something points me at it. The purgatory have only just gotten their hands on this recently, but I think it's used on those while in wolf form so that they shift back and are unable to transform for a numerous amount of ideas, hence making them defenseless. Has Jeremy shifted as of lately?"

"Not that I know of, but we always ask him to." Liam assures Dr. Ackhart. 

"These hunters must know about us if they developed a special bullet. Especially if it has the effect of shifting you back. Does it take away our senses and reduce us to normality?" Dr. Ackhart looks flustered at my question and he quickly shrugs and stammers. 

"I'm not sure, they don't seem to be willing to let me join their hunting group. So it's a definite possibility. If only they knew that they have put this weapon into the Purgatory's hands."

"Holy fuck," I breathe. "What if the Purgatory comes to fight us with these?" I shake the bullet in my hands. "They wouldn't even have to shift. They could just shot at us till we're quivering messes and drag us off." 

"I have no doubt in my mind that they'll use it against you," Dr Ackhart nods. "They know what it can do and they will utilize it to their best ability. It'd be unwise to fight against them when you know they have the upper hand."

"What we do?" I inquire.

"Level the field. Acquire an abundance of these," He gestures to the bullet, "and you'll be able to fight fire with fire."

Liam and I nod at this and there isn't anything else to say. Liam follows me out of the room and when we return to the room, I sit on the bed and declare, "I don't like the looks of things, Liam."

"Me either." He mumbles softly. I rest between his legs, my back to his chest and his head resting on mine.

"They'll torture us," I whisper and my grip on his shirt tightens. "If they get us, they'll torture us. These kids death will be on us, Liam."

"We'lll devise something. Ackhart said level ground, we can do that," It makes me think of the stash of bullets and syringes we found in the back of the Purgatory's car we stole. Is it enough? "But if we one of us get shot, we're down for the count."

"We'll have to learn to fight in human form." I run a hand through my hair. "What the fuck are we going to do?" I whisper this to myself, mostly, but Liam hears and murmurs a I don't know. I clutch to him and he keeps a secure grip around me. Death is playing on my mind. It's selfish, but I merely think of Jeremy, Stella, Liam, and I. Stella is scarred of what happened to her while with the Purgatory. I fear what could happen if we are dragged off. And what they will do to us.

They've wounded Stella, so it wouldn't take long to break the rest of us. And who will come for us if we are captured? Most of us don't have mom's or dad's that are looking forward to us coming home. No one will search for us. We are our own. The thought makes tears build in my eyes - I have no right to cry - but I think it's stress. 

"Don't cry," Liam murmurs as he kisses my wet cheeks. "You're too pretty for tears, princess."

I let out a watery laugh. "That's cheesy." I face him fully now, straddling his legs but there is nothing sexually charged about it. Rater I examine his eyes, the shape of his lips, and the broadness of his jaw. I find myself stoking my fingers over his scar. "How'd you get it?" The question slips out before I can stop it, but surprisingly, Liam does not shy away from the question or me. 

"It was months after I went rogue," He runs his fingers over it as well, his eyes focusing on a invisible spot on the wall as he plays it out. "I was so angry that I terrorized any pack I came upon. I don't know what hurting them would achieve, but I did it anyway. It was always them that charged at me first. Rogues are considered dangerous. So, a black wolf charged at me, clamped his jaws around my windpipe and started shaking me like a rag doll. Others came and joined and I couildn't maintain form. One of them swiped me across the forehead with their claws. I was close to dying." He draws his fingers away from his forehead and presses his thumb to my lips, his green eyes flicker to mine. "I wanted to so badly. Maybe that's why I did reckless shit. I wanted someone to kill me so I'd be with Flora. So I'd be with mom."e

My heart clenches at the thought. It's crazy what sorrow can make you want. "I'd killed others," He presses his forehead to mine, our noses are pressed against one another as he cradles my head in his hands. "So I figured it'd be my time. They backed off when they thought I was slowly dying. They ran off suddenly. And I swear I saw Flora in that moment," His lips quirk upwards. "Sunflowers and blonde hair and all of what came with her. And there was nothing. I thought I had been banished to hell." A laugh bubbles out at this. "But no, I was just banished back to reality. I didn't die. I didn't understand. And then, months later, I saw you. I understood."

"You think you lived to meet me?" This is what girls dream of hearing. 

"Well, I wan born to be with you. Literally." He says. "Isn't that crazy?"

"Yeah," I murmur. "Life fucked me over from early on but made it up to me when life gave me you." 

His hands trail over the braid that rests down my back and he smiles. "Aren't you lucky?" He teases and  l chuckle.

"I am," I answer seriously. "If I hadn't met you, I'd be mated to Adam. I would have never.." I trail off, collecting my thoughts. "I would never figured out about my mom. Aobut how my dad does care."

"There could have been pros, too, you know," He says and then whispers, "Anna."

Her name brings another tidal wave of tears. Liam does not wipe them away, but rather presses nuzzles his nose against mine. It is silent tears, though, not the one's that make your body shake or your nose run but that you know are only there because of the wetness on your cheeks. "He killed her," Liam understands who I'm talking about instantly and he clutches me tighter. "I saw her. All mangled and bloody and broken. She died thinking I was a liar. I went to their funeral and.. it was so hard to face her parents. I wanted to tell them that in a way, I killed her. Their daughter is gone, Liam. They will never see her again and they will wonder, 'why her?' and I will never be able to answer."

"It was Beckett's doing," He says. "Hey. It wasn't yours. Look at me." I do. "It's not your fault."

I nod, process it, and Liam draws me in for a lingering kiss. One that makes warmth rise in the pit of my stomach and makes my tears stop because all I can think of us is Liam's lips and his warm skin and the scar on his forehead.

"We got through all the bullshit in our life for this," He says as he pulls away. "For us." He kisses me again, tongue brushing my bottom lip. "I love you," He pants it so softly against my mouth and the only proof that he's said is it when I look up and meet his eyes and he waits, breath washing over my parted lips. 

I surge forward, pressing my lips to his. "I love you," I scratch my nails against his scalp, pulling back only to kiss him again.. "I love you."

He responds eagerly and it seems like we're a broken record as he repeats it back. And we kiss until we're tired and before we fall asleep, we whisper it again into darkness.

        Belle pulls me aside the next morning, nails digging into my forearm. "Stella was crying last night." She breaches, "I didn't know what to do so I did nothing."

"Is she awake?"

Belle nods and I take her with me to the room. Like Belle said, Stella is awake and leaning against the wall. Her long hair has been pulled back and the black streaks are gone, left only dark bags and unusual paleness.

She looks at me with dull eyes and croaks, "Tylenol?"

"I think food is better for you at this time." So Belle goes to retrieve food and when she returns, Stella eats slowly, but it's progress.

Belle settles onto her bed and watches as do I. Stella eyes us both wearily. "You guys can stop worrying. I'm fine."

"You were crying," Belle blurts awkwardly. "I'm sorry I didn't-"

"Oh shut up, goth girl." Stella moves on the food from her lap and places it on the nightstand, half of it left untouched. "I didn't want you to comfort me in the middle of the night anyway."

Belle frowns, but doesn't say anything and resorts to picking at her blue fleece blanket, which oddly resembles her hair. She must really like blue.

"Are you okay?" It's the only thing I can think of to ask. I'm not sure on how to approach the subject of what may have happened to her. It's kinda like asking a severely bleeding person if they're okay. It's stupid.

"Yeah, I just got really drunk." She shrugs. "I say and do stupid shit when I'm drunk. Get over it."

"Stella, you slept in a lake. You could have drowned." I argue.

"But I didn't." She stubbornly replies. 

"Do you remember what you kept on saying to me?" Stella refuses to meet my eyes at my question. If she deflects this time, I refuse to dig any deeper for information. I won't force her to talk about anything she is not comfortable with it.

"Get lost, Belle." And Belle does without a single word, the only way I'm sure she has left is the gentle click of the door opening and closing. Stella stands, goes to the bathroom, and returns, twisting her back up into a neat pony tail. "I don't know what you want me to say," She shakes her head. "I don't know how to explain."

"Belle told me about what the Purgatory does. On how they take girls from packs." I prompt. Stella does not flinch at the mere mentioning, but rather blanches.

She crosses her arms over her chest. "Is Liam still sleeping?" It's a random question. Different then what I expected.

"Yes."

"And Jeremy?"

"Him as well. Most are still asleep besides Belle and I."

"Okay," She breathes. "I want you to take this to the grave." I'm confused, but I nod and agree. "I don't want to talk about this with Jeremy or Liam. Especially Jeremy, he'll do something rash and stupid because he is stupid." She deadpans and she comes to sit beside me, folding her legs in a criss-cross position. "Do you promise not to tell Liam?"

I don't want another secret to hide from Liam, but this time, the secret won't be my own. "Of course. What you tell me stay's between the both of us.But first, I have to ask... Kev didn't do anything to you, right? He was telling the truth when he said he just left you?"

"Yeah," She nods. "He tried to kiss me but I cursed him out. I think I went into shock because it'd been so long that someone tried to make the move on me. It.. reminded me of someone." She pauses, twiddles her fingers and then says, "What Belle told you is true. They took me when I was fourteen."

I brace myself for her to continue.

"You know the blonde guy who seems to be in charge of the Purgatory?" I nod. "He's not."

"Then who is?" I ask. She grows tense at the question and I regret saying anything. She is silent for several minutes.

"The blonde dude's name is Jas, at least I think it is. It's a nickname, at least. He acts like he's in charge but he's not. He's the Beta, but most are under the delusion he's in charge. He's sent just in case he is to die, it doesn't matter. The Purgatory have a lot of enemies, though I'm sure you know."  She says, "The black haired dude,  you know, the big guys, that's Dominic. There's Jack, there's.." Stella continues to name people who I don't even know nor am I aware that I've encountered, but it seems important to her to list these people so I listen patiently until she stops and then breathes the last name. "And there's Tate."

This is where things are going to do down hill.

"I'd never met my dad, he wasn't my mom's mate. I'm pretty sure he was just some guy she got pregnant with in high school, then she met my step dad when I was two. He was nice enough and he didn't bug me much. I'd never met my dad, but I never had the yearning to once I got older. My step dad kinda filled that place, without even meaning to. I didn't call him dad, that felt to weird, but we were on a good basis. My mom gave birth to twins when I was three. Capella and Izar, weird fucking names, I know. But my mom had a thing for naming us after stars, my name means star in Latin. Izar means star and Capella supposedly means star but I think it delves on mythology or something like that. Last I heard it was about a goat, but anyway, after my mom gave birth to my little sister and brother, that was it for her. If they're alive today, my brother and sister are fifteen." She smiles at this:

"We got a long fairly well. It didn't matter that we weren't fully related and my step dad treated me equally to his own kids. Once my brother and sister got old enough to realize I wasn't their full sister, they didn't care. They played with Avalon and Isaac a lot and I played with Jeremy. Liam was kinda a loner and was crushed on a lot by the other girls of the pack, but once he discovered I didn't like him, we became friends. The Purgatory attacked us when we turned thirteen. They killed Liam parents and right when I turned fourteen, he fled. It was just Jeremy and I. But Jeremy's mother was starting to panic about sticking around. The pack was falling and even my mom wanted to send Ella and Izar away just in case. I insisted on staying so she didn't send me to my grandma's. I should have gone."

Stella sucks in a sharp breath.

"It was months after my fourteenth birthday they attacked again. The whole place got lit up and my mom was trying to get me to run, but I stayed and looked for Jeremy and I couldn't find him anywhere. His mom had taken him and fled. That's what I discovered when I got to his place. I know Jeremy would have come back for me if he had enough time, I know he would have," She tugs at her hair. "They busted in. Guys of the Purgatory. But all I saw was Tate."

Mates? 

******

"Not because he was my mate," Stella says as if she can read my mind. "But because he was looming and scary. He swept me up even as I screamed and all of his guys were laughing. They stole me and on the way out, I saw my mom screaming. My step dad tried to step in but they quickly smacked him down so I got placed into a van with other girls. I recognized their faces but not their names. I never was good friends with any of the girls of the pack, but they were roughly around my age. We were still kids."

Stella has a far away look in her eyes.

"Tate claimed me as his. So that night, when we pulled over to sleep, each guy took their pick and dragged us into the forest. I screamed at him to stop, but he didn't. And when I kept on screaming, he'd hit me. Right across the face till I could taste my own blood." Her fingers come to brush her lips and it reminds me of Liam from last night. It's her way of remembering and she cringes as if she can taste the blood in her mouth once again. "He said he liked me because I put up a fight. Most of the girls bodies were mutilated. Dominic likes carving girls." She shivers. "There were only a handful left when I got placed back into the van. I was bleeding and scared. Most girls ended up dead before we reached their base. Tate got the chance to use me every chance he could."

Stella lips quiver and I can see the glassiness return to her eyes as she tugs at the loose sweat pants that cover her legs. Abruptly, she takes them off and I'm too shell shocked to say anything but she raises the shirt and shows me the teeth marks on her inner thigh. "It was the first night he did that," She whispers. There are other scars scattered across pale flesh. It's knife marks. "Tate said I was only for him, but some nights, Dominic would come into my room." Her fingers shake and I reach to take her hand in mine. "I knew Tate knew because it was nights that I acted bad that my door went unlocked. Dominic was worst then Tate, believe it or not. Evertyime I was close to death, he'd bring me back only to do it all over again."

A tear leaves her eye. "Tate taught me how to defend myself in a way. He'd beat me down so much that I was forced to fight back in order to survive. I'd watch them do it to other girls and I wouldn't do a thing. I didn't care about them. I cared about me." A sob escapes her. "Jas has a silver tongue. He says pretty words and makes you trust him, believe it or not. And then he strikes when your guard is down and that's what he did. He promised to get me out of there, even went as far as pretending to help me escape, only to laugh about it later as he dragged me back by my hair. They were all so equally horrible in their own way. Tate would tell me loved me as he hit me, Dominic would tell me I'm worthless, and Jas taunted me with things I could never have. They used me to their heart's content."

Tears pour down her cheeks, "I was just their doll. Their puppet when they bid it. I was considered lucky by the girls there, but only if they knew. I acted strong so the pack kept me. I wanted to go home so badly and then, one night, Tate told me he was going to kill my parents. He talked about doing what he did to me to my own mother. Talked about killing my step dad. I bit him. I sunk my teeth so fucking hard into his arm and I told him it'd be my mark on him. He hit me till I was black and blue and the next day, when they left, true to their word, I ran. Jas couldn't stop me with most of the guys gone. And they'd taught me how to fight without knowing it. I was fifteen, only three months till my birthday. I went home, but my parents weren't there. No one was. It was just.. empty. I thought I was alone. So I violently messed with people till I heard about Liam. I went back to where I was tortured. I tried to see him but I ran when Purgatory leered to close. I saw Tate and I kind went into this shocked state. He tried to take me back and Liam helped fight him off. I think he knew, in a way. Nothing ever scared me like Tate did. Obviously, he still scares me."

She wipes away at the tears with the back of her hand and I help her. Then she smiles sadly. "Jeremy find me. He didn't know. I didn't tell him. Because how do you explain to your former best friend that the people who killed our pack mates and fathers and mothers that they robbed me of innocence? They did. Tate took what made me pure and crumbled it and threw it back in my face till I weeped at his feet." She is shaking and I pull her in for a hug. I smooth my hand over her silky hair as she cries and fists my shirts. "They stole everything from me, Ron. And they laughed in my face while they did to."

********

I remain with Stella weeping in my arms. She does not stop until she can longer manage to cry and she closes her eyes to sleep again. I wash off her tears with a warm cloth and walk out of the room numbly. I am unsure on how to process it.

When I see Belle, she stares at me with odd blue eyes. "I hope my sister is dead." She says. It's strangely morbid and heartless, but I get it. 

Somehow, I get it. 

----------------------------

This was a super heavy and emotional chapter to write! I kinda included the Lonnie moment because I wanted to dose you with happiness before I struck you with sadness. 

This subject I dealt with is VERY sensitive but it's what I planned for Stella from the beginning. This was he back story when I thought of her and I didn't want to change it. This is what made Stella a very strong person and why she is the way she is so it felt necessary to keep. 

And I know it's crazy that Stella told Ronnie about what happened and not Liam and Jeremy, but she really didn't want to discuss it with them. Plus, Ronnie is a girl as well so they can relate. Though Ronnie back story is not nearly as tragic. Each one of these kids have been severely fucked over though.

Adam, Ronnie, Anna, Liam, Belle,  Stella, Jeremy. And many more.

BY THE WAY: can someone please make banners for the story? I have, like, no pictrues and my side bar is looking very plain lately. Please sumbit some to me if you can! DM me with them and I will incredibly grateful. They can be of anyone (Ronnie, Liam, Stella, Jeremy, Lonnie?) even pictures with some of the books quote, I don't mind. I'd love to hear some of your guys fav quotes from the story so pleeeeease sumbit some pics!

Next chapter won't be so gloomy (hopefully) but I hope you enjoyed nonetheless.

Until next time, 

- CeCe.