-chapter one-hundred-one-

FINN

I'm afraid.

Ang nararamdaman ko lang ngayon ay kung gaano ako natatakot na mamatay. And it's laughable, because I have never thought of life like that. I witnessed a lot of deaths that it must have made me immune to mine, but protective over others. I would die for them to survive, but right now, I wanted to survive too. I wanted for all of us, for those who remained, to complete this together.

I followed the NPC in small steps, while he walked to the table with confidence. He waited by the other side and I took the position opposite to him. The observing eyes of other players rested on us, even those who were playing was distracted. Hindi ko muna pinansin ang mga titig nila, especially that piercing gaze, at diretsong tiningnan sa mata ang NPC.

Or I don't know if he's even one.

"Are you... a game master too?"

The eyes behind the mask shined in amusement. A small smile grazed his lip, "Maybe. Maybe not."

But can a normal NPC answer like this? O baka naman specialized ang game na 'to to expect anything, kaya nakakasagot sila sa mga ganitong klaseng tanong.

"You mentioned that the game master was a him." naalala ko ang sinabi niya kanina. "So maybe it's you, and you'll help us once I beat you."

"I am not. There are various game masters in this game, some in the crowd of players, others not. There's a her and a him, so you shouldn't be too complacent."

I pouted at the word. Hindi naman ako complacent ah. Tsaka sinabi naman niya talagang him kanina, tapos ngayon ipapasok niya pa ang her. He's too late to give those excuses in order to confuse me.

But I think it's not him too. Although, nagdoubt ako kanina dahil wala namang chance na magsusurrender at magre-reveal ang game master ng walang mabigat na favor, so maybe he wants me to startle and catch him during the game. Kung saan wala na siyang masasabing excuses dahil nasa amin ang mata ng lahat.

My eyes fell on the two revolvers in the table. I made a move to touch them and he didn't hesitate. Sinubukan kong huwag ipakita ang kaba nang hawakan ko 'to sa'king kamay. The cold metal under my fingers felt foreign, and its heavy lead made my heart carry burdens too. I checked the cylinder, spinning it once and gulping at the future consequences of this game.

"Will this game end with one of us dead?"

My question seemed to have stilled the air around us. The cards that flew around the nearby tables slowed down and there was a familiar, loud gasp. I could almost feel the variety of curses that are tickling Eura's tongue.

"We'll play six rounds each and the bullets will increase every round." sagot niya na nagpalaki sa mata ko. "Whoever survives at the end, wins."

"What if both of us survive?"

It was a dumb question.

Kung magi-increase ng bullet every round then the gun will be fully loaded at the final round. Well, it depends on the amount of ammunition that the revolver can hold. Pero kung six rounds ang sinabi niya, siguro six bullets rin ang kaya nito. And, I doubt any of us can still survive a revolver with five bullets in.

From his answering smile, I knew he read through my realizations.

"Sparrow, there's no need to do this. The lives and decisions of others do not fall on your hands."

I glanced at Wes who has arrived at my side. Seryoso at nagmamakaawa ang mata niya. It chanced a look on the guns and fear crossed his eyes.

Umiling ako. Gusto kong sabihin na hindi ko lang naman 'to ginawa dahil do'n sa babae, at may malalim pa akong paliwanag sa desisyon ko. But I didn't explain, instead I said,

"My choice."

Sandali niyang nilingon si Billie na nakatitig lang sa'kin. "It won't kill us. Only Marcella's death would create that much damage."

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. There were things hidden behind his words. And I paled at the silent suggestion of letting Billie and the girl die. Alam ko kung bakit niya naisipan 'yon. Maybe if it was another person up here, he wouldn't be that concerned.

"Can't." simpleng sagot ko kahit marami akong gustong sabihin.

I want to tell him that even if I have the desire to live, I can't let anyboy else die. At least not when I can do something to help. Hindi naman bago ito. Maraming beses na sa laro na binuwis ko ang buhay and Wes have witnessed most of my near-death experiences, ngunit siguro ngayon lang din siya may chance na pigilan ito.

I answered his piercing stare. Yes, this might be dangerous, but it goes for both sides. Besides, if I ever win or know who this game master before the dangerous rounds begins, then it can even help us in our game progress. Mas mapapabilis ang pagtapos namin sa larong ito.

And as if he could read my thought, he didn't stop me anymore. Tinikom niya ang bibig at sinulyapan ang lalaking NPC. Dierran was walking towards us, probably to take him back, but before that he looked at me and said,

"Let him go first."

With that, he turned around and walked away. Behind him, I met their worried looks, but maybe I had the determination in my eyes that convince them to not pry. O baka nakakasiguro silang makakayanan ko 'to gaya ng dati kong mga laro. I do hope that I can be clever for this game.

Hinarap ko ang lalaking naglagay ng labing-dalawang bala sa mesa. It made a loud sound that took most people's attention and also increased their fear.

"So, should we start?"

"Ano ang gagawin?"

I need to know even the tiniest rule in this game so that I won't be easily manipulated.

"You see this roulette?" panimula niya. "It has every game in this casino and the results of our game can affect it. After we shoot each other and no one dies, iikotin ng bumaril ang roulette. The pointer will stop at the chosen game, at kung sino ang naglalaro nito ay agad na mananalo at makakakuha ng isang libong chips."

His voice was loud as he announced it and since most of the players has our attention anyway, everyone inside the casino knew the deal. Their hawk eyes penetrated me, and amidst the worry and fear, it asks. It demands. It pleads.

"Hindi ba maganda na ang offer na 'yon? Kung mananalo si Sparrow o 'yong lalaki, magkakaisang libo tayo."

"Depende naman 'yon sa game na mapipili."

"Kahit na, mabuti na rin 'yon. Kaya naman siguro ni Sparrow na piliin kung anong nilalaro natin."

"Pero paano nga pala kung natapos ang laro nila? May nakalaan na bang chips sa kaniya?"

"I doubt both of us could live after the game ends." the NPC answered my previous question while also entertaining an anonymous inquiry. "Pero kaya ng revolver na 'to na maghold ng seven bullets at dahil six rounds lang tayo, there's a chance that our shot will held no bullet. And if that happens, you will still have a hundred chips. Dahil 'yon ang mayro'n ka ngayon. That is if the others are willing to give you the chips."

There was a smirk in his face as he nudged his head towards the other players. Sinundan ko ang tingin niya at tila nabato nang makita ang malayo nilang tingin. Only a few, my friends, gave me their reassuring looks. Even the girls whose life I saved did not bother turning my way.

"Sayang naman kay Sparrow. Babalik pa siya sa una at limitado na ang oras na niyan." someone whispered.

Tama siya. I don't know how long this game would last. I doubt I could even accumulate up to a hundred thousand pagkatapos nito. I'm not very good at cards.

"Wala naman tayong magagawa. I don't even know if I can earn more than a hundred thousand chips kaya siyempre hindi ako magbibigay."

"Buti na lang at may one thousand chips tayo kapag natapos ang pagbaril nila. Mas mapapabilis na lang ang pag-ipon natin."

The male NPC was watching my every reaction as we listened to the doubtful but greedy reactions of other players. Magtatanong na sana ako kung iyon lang ba ang rules nang marinig ko ang boses ni Eura.

"What the fuck? That girl up there is risking her life and you can't even give up five chips? Putangina, kung ako nasa lugar ni Finn, buhay ko lang iisipin ko. Hindi kayo kadeserve-deserve na sagipin. Fucking dumbasses, I hope you die a cruel death."

Even Kairo and Gavin who stood by her side couldn't stop a lashing Eura. Her words were knives that cut through the hopeful air and her glare was enough to froze someone.

"Hindi nga nagagalit si Finn, pero ikaw nagagalit!" some random player got up and pointed at Eura. "Wala ka namang nagagawa, ah. All you do is speak and laugh loudly. At masasamang salita lang lagi lumalabas diyan sa bibig mo! Mabuti pa si Finn, tumutulong sa'min."

"Oo nga! If I know, you're a pain to your alliance. Kawawa naman sila na marinig lagi ang reklamo mo. Kung hindi lang siguro bastos ang bunganga mo, niligawan na kita." a boy voiced out his agreement.

"Tangina, boy. Kung ikaw lang din naman mangliligaw, magpapasalamat pa ako na pangit ako." Eura fired back.

Another girl laughed mockingly. "See? That's all you can do. Talk and talk like some dumb, loud bitch-"

Her words died at her tongue when a dagger passed through her cheek, cutting the skin. She shrieked, jumping back on her seat and glaring at the attacker. Ngunit namutla siya ng makita kung sino ang may gawa. Kairo stood in front of Eura. Nakataas ang kamay niya at walang tanong na siya ang tumapon ng dagger. Gavin was glaring at the boy who gave insults, just a second away from pouncing. And it didn't help that almost every surviving member of Reaper's Oath stood up in alert, guarding Eura's back.

I guess they forgot with her vibrant and snarky attitude that she's part of the deadliest alliance in this game. If Blood Vanguard looks like an impenetrable stronghold most of the time, Reaper's Oath is a family that can never be ripped apart.

"Eura is right." nagulat ako nang sabihin iyon ni Marcella. "Your words are insensitive. Finley is right there, risking her life for us. I don't think it's the appropriate time to gush over a thousand chips when a life is on the line."

"Our lives are always on the line, o baka ngayon ka lang nainform Marcella." Carly rolled her eyes. "What she's doing isn't exactly remarkable. It's stupid."

It was probably shocking to see Marcella on my defense again, but to witness the ever-composed Wes slam his hand on the table Carly was sitting on made me gasp. As well a few others who saw it.

"Do not ever call that sacrifice stupid or I will drag you up there to play that game. If you're not willing to offer your chips, then shut the fuck up. I can earn much more than you'll ever have and Sparrow can finish this damn game without your help-" his dark eyes roamed the whole room. "-or and of the hypocrites opinions."

Walang nakasagot. Kahit nga si Carly ay parang hindi na makahinga. This behavior may be deemed normal if Kairo was behind the outburst, but Wes have always been reasonable and cool. The hotheaded and swearing man right now is almost foreign to them.

"If you weren't a fellow member, I would have killed you already."

Carly trembled at the threat, probably from anger and fear. Tinalikuran siya ni Wes at naglakad na paalis. But she stood up, her chair falling from the fast movement and pointed a hateful glance at me.

"Well, it isn't our damn fault she wanted to die up there like some stupid, fucked-up hero-"

I could tell she was seconds away from being killed, mula sa madilim na titig nina Kairo at Theo na lumalapit na sa kaniya at biglang pagtigil ni Wes. I thought Marcella may put a stop but she seemed content beside Billie, watching the scene unfold with little interest. Sina Eura at Maki ay mukhang masasaya pa na mabugbog si Carly.

I wouldn't avoid a lesson like that but I don't want to waste the offer I accepted. Bakit pa ako tumungtong at sumang-ayon sa larong ito kung may isang mamamatay sa amin?

The loud bang inside the room made everyone still.

Slowly, their head snapped on my direction, others filled with genuine concern. Pero wala naman akong ginawang masama. Bigla ko lang binitawan ang hawak-hawak na baril. It landed on the table with a loud thud, and I offered everyone an irritated glare. It was the closest warning I could give to not disrupt us anymore.

"Are you up for it now?" tanong ng NPC nang matapos ang kumosyon.

Tumango ako. My heart is beating loudly in fear but if I delay this any more, baka magdalawang-isip pa ako.

He grabbed the gun and loaded the first bullet. Sinunod ko ang ginawa niya. My fingers slightly trembled as I inserted the first bullet and pushed the cylinder back. I sucked in a deep breathe. This gun now loads a bullet - one that could kill.

He spinned the cylinder and I followed. With a soft sigh, like he was back with his old toy, he spinned the gun in his finger in a relaxed manner.

"Who should go first? Mukhang hindi ka pa komportable sa baril, gusto mo bang ako ang mauna?"

Naalala ko ang sinabi ni Wes kanina. Let him go first, he said. But was it for the shooting or waiting part?

"I'll shoot first." I didn't exactly know where I got the courage to say those words.

Tumango siya at ibinaba ang kamay. "You can aim wherever. As long as you shoot. And don't spin again, just once every round."

I licked my lips, slowly raising the gun and pointed it at him. Dahan-dahang gumapang ang daliri ko papunta sa may trigger. The metal was cold against my skin, like the mouth of death kissing my hand as I start my first, real kill. The dark eyes behind his mask were fixed on me. At parang alam niya ang lahat ng naiisip ko. Alam niya ang takot at pagdadalawang-isip ko.

Gusto kong tumawa. Gusto kong umiyak. Here I am, standing to keep any of us from dying, but is pointing a gun that can kill.

Pinikit ko ang mata para makalimutan na mukha siyang tao, na ang bawat aksiyon niya ay parang tao. I reminded myself that the man standing in front of me is an NPC, a character carefully designed through codes and created from a script. Before any doubt could wash through me, I pulled the trigger.

Nothing.

I couldn't help the relieved exhale that left me. But my relaxed shoulders quickly stiffened when I opened up my eyes and found the muzzle of his gun directed at my forehead.

There was a sound of protest behind us, but all I can register is the cold kiss of metal in my forehead. The NPC nodded at the roulette as if reminding me to spin.

I did. And the tables that played poker erupted in cheers when they instantly won with a thousand chips.

The Blood Vanguard is probably saved from any pain right now. Billie has won.

I couldn't breathe when he pulled the trigger just as my eyes hit him. Bahagya ko pang napapikit ang mata sa takot at gulat pero walang nangyari. He took the gun away from my body and loaded another bullet. Sunod niya akong tiningnan na parang pinapabilis ang gagawin. Nagawa na niyang i-spin ang roulette dahil panibagong hiyaw na naman ang narinig ko.

But I couldn't move. Him shooting that gun directly at my head made me so damn terrified.

Ilang beses ko nang nakita si Papa at Mama na may hawak-hawak na baril. I've even watched Papa practiced it in the shooting room. I have danced with death using knives and daggers, but guns- guns that you know can potentially kill you in some twisted game makes my stomach churn.

With shaky breaths and trembling hands, I grabbed another bullet. Inilagay ko ito sa cylinder without making a gap from the first one. Napalunok ako nang ibalik ko ito't inikot, at gaya ng ginawa niya kanina, itinutok ko ang baril sa kaniyang noo.

He laughed hoarsely, dark eyes taunting me on a challenge. I know the fear and anxiety is obvious for him and everyone else. But if I finish these, if I got this, if I ever figure out who that game master is, then everyone could leave this game unscathed.

"Shoot." he ordered and so I did.

There was another empty clack and my tense breathing once again relaxed. I spinned the roulette and the same cheering happened.

I flinched when he grasped my chin and made me face the room. I could feel the muzzle of his gun right by my throat, tilting my head upwards. Mula dito ay nakikita ko ang iba't ibang expresiyon ng kapwa kong manlalaro. Marami sa kanila ang nagsasaya at naghihintay sa susunod na larong magliligtas sa kanila, ngunit ang mga mata na nakatutok sa'kin ay puno ng pag-aalala at galit. They weren't even sitting and playing a game. Just watching me, ready on their feet.

"Ito na ang posisyon mo pero wala pa rin silang pake?" the NPC sounded disappointed. "I even made sure to make a large gap between the bullets. Siguro papansinin lang nila ang nangyayari dito kung may aagos na dugo."

I gulped, the movement inviting the gun closer. He smirked and I pinched my eyes closed when he fired.

Harsh breathing left me when he stepped away to spin the roulette. Napahawak ako sa edge ng mesa para manatiling makatayo. Kung hindi bala ang papatay sa'kin, baka ang alternate na barilan ang makakagawa.

Muli akong huminga ng malalim. I was a more composed when I loaded the third bullet, making the gun a little more heavy in my hand. Ayokong sundin ang ginawa niya kanina kaya itinutok ko na lang ang baril sa puso niya.

Ngumisi siya. "Wow. If I ever died here, it would actually be for love, you know?"

I gave him a puzzled look. Mula sa sinabi niya, talagang may posibilidad na hindi lang siya NPC. Kung gano'n, kailangan ko talagang isipin kung sino ang game master na 'yon.

Ngumuso ako. Pero paano ko ba maiisip 'yon kung kinakabahan pa ako sa mga batil na 'to?! Hindi pa pwedeng magcall a friend na lang ako mamaya at baka may idea sina Kairo o Marcella.

Kung si June ba ang nasa posisyon ko ngayon, anong gagawin niya? Sa tigas ng ulo niya sigurado akong magsisimula sila sa apat na bala. She would probably use every second to provoke the guy and blame me if she got hurt. For a second, the thought made me smile.

Depore would probably annoy the guy that he would shoot himself willingly, and Renée would have the same result but from an entirely different reason. I'm sure Caspian and Baste would make a plan where both players can survive, and I couldn't even see them playing this game in the first place.

I pulled the trigger again, this time with opened eyes, receiving an empty clack. I was able to fight the anxiety and nerves at their memories.

I moved to spin the roulette again but froze when it landed on a 'Pass'. Confused glances were thrown our way and there were disappointed looks.

"Ano ba 'yan, 'yan na nga lang ginagawa, wala pa. Fucking hell, wala tuloy tayong one thousand chips ngayon."

"Nako, nako, bad omen 'yan. Paano kung malasin din siya sa baril no'ng NPC? E'di wala na tayong makukuha na one-thousand?"

"Damn it, if that happens then I'll die too. Akala ko naman natulungan na ako kanina."

His eyes crinkled in amusement at the result I got and the things we heard. I braced myself for the dreadful words he might say next.

"Ah, I have to remind you all. If Sparrow dies, so does the people who won from this game. You know, ang mga taong nakakuha ng one thousand chips sa nakaraang rounds."

Curses were immediately flung my way. A tin can hit my head, and another crumpled food container followed. Ngunit mas nakatuon ang mata ko sa baril na ngayo'y nakatutok sa'kin. There was a cold thrumming in my bones and a silent acceptance that the next shot would actually contain bullet. Something about the gun makes me believe I'll be hit.

A cheshire cat visited his mouth before he pulled the trigger and sharp pain shot up my head, blinding me and almost turning everything to black.

-chapter end-

my hand was trembling when i finished this chapter HAHAHAHA