-chapter one-hundred-fifteen-

FINN

There was this proverb, 'Nana korobi ya oki'.

It means falling seven times and standing eight. It had a lot of meaningful interpretations. Na kahit anong dapa, kahit anong talo, hindi ka pa rin titigil sa paglaban. A 'never say die' attitude, a burning determination for a goal or a reality that someone envisioned and is starving to have. It's the good of trying, no matter how many times you fall, to make up for mistakes and strive for a new life.

But I wanted to see the bad of it. The scars, not the future. The wounds in the knees after falling, not the healing after. And the excruciating pain in both hearts and mind that would sink deep into the soul, bringing nightmares every night.

And after all that sleepness night of trying to run from your own demons, there comes the satisfaction of having not to fall for the eighth time anymore.

I've bled, and now I could stand from all that pain. That's how I understood the proverb.

I've fallen, not once nor twice but a lot of times, and the more bottomless the pit is, the more desperate I am to fly higher. Just to seek salvation. Just to seek that thing I want, even with my small and broken wings.

And when I truly rise to grasp my dream, I will no longer fall.

Napakalakas ng pagsabog na nangyari. Even as the lakewater surrounded me and the giant's body blocked the view, I could see the myriad of colors exploding. The breaking of ground mixed with the heat of fire and cold water that disturbed the whole structure and broke the wide mountain.

I had a glimpse of the sun. Even underwater, it looked absolutely ethereal.

Someone pulled me up and I coughed up some water. Naririnig ko ang maingay nilang pagrereklamo pero nakatuon lang ang mata ko sa higante na sumisigaw sa sakit. The water from the lake burned and healed him, just enough to protect him from the explosion of ultimates that could damage his life. Kaya nga nagpahabol ako sa kaniya, para masiguradong tatalon siya sa lake basta lang mapatay ako.

After all, this monster, the giant that was once a god, could only blindly attack anyone who's in its presence. Or anyone who becomes a threat. A killing machine stuck underground... or a hero too powerless to save anyone that he turned himself into a villain?

"Finn? Anong nangyayari? I thought we have to use to break some kind of curse? Bakit niyo sinira ang mountain at pinalabas siya?" Dierran shouted, running towards me after defeating a golem. "He's going to cause havoc in this state!"

Inadjust ko pa ang paningin dahil nakakasilaw. Ang tagal ko din siguro sa kuweba na 'yon kaya't sobrang liwanag dito. Parang kinukuha na si Dierran ng langit sa paningin ko.

"Mm." tumango ako na ikinabigla nila. "Need to bring the giant to the village."

"Why, Sparrow?" now it was Marcella who asked. "Hindi ba natin papatayin iyon?"

"Anong? Ano na bang nangyayari? Hello, wala akong maintindihan here!"

We all collectively ignored Eura.

I debated whether to explain what I knew and saw from the lake, which was actually a key in solving the quest. Kaya naman pala papunta ang mga turtles doon. Akala ko gusto lang nilang magswimming, I didn't realize they were an important clue.

Thankfully, bago pa ako makapagsalita ay dumating na si Fern. I have never been more glad for a person's presence, lalo na't alam kong siya magpapaliwanag.

"This is another story quest." panimula niya saka bumuntong-hinga. "The difference was, we weren't given an idea to the story and we have to solve it on our own. Long story short, this is a village with a good god. That one," sabay turo niya sa higanteng kasalukuyang kinakalaban ang ibang manlalaro. "But no matter how kind and beautiful he is, he is not strong or powerful enough to save the village from an impending threat. And so he wished to the mountain to protect this village and he would offer anything. Sadly, that was his life and form. His wish turned him into a powerful stone giant whose stories would make any enemies hesitate. And as much as he was terrifying outside, the village also feared him..."

And so he banished himself.

By building the great wall and the dream gate, creating golems that would drive ordinary people away, he made an impenetrable fortress.

If the stories of a giant still roam around the world, no one would dare step inside. If the giant hid itseld in the mountains, the village would know peace once again. They won't be afraid.

But sometimes... maybe, we miscalculate. And in our fall, we think we're not worth it to give up anymore. So we bury ourselves along our scars, never to be seen again.

"But the villagers don't think so, right?" tumango-tango si Marcella. "So they made the quest to save the giant."

A hero turned villain to protect its people. But the reality was otherwise, and now he is supposed to be saved.

"If the giant sees an NPC or a villager, the curse will break. Pero dapat mapalabas muna siya," dagdag ni Fern. "At hindi pala ilalagay sa higante ang stones na nasa gate. Rather, the stones came from the giant and he scattered it around the forest..."

"So if the villagers wanted to see him again, they're free to do so. They just need to look for him." pagtatapos ni Wes.

To fall means to land in a dark, bottomless pit. And if your wings of desperation or hope is gone, all you can do is wait to be found.

"Tara." my voice broke the strange and sad tension that was formed between us. "Let's lure the giant out."

After five rounds of jak-en-poy, dahil ayaw nila akong magvolunteer na lurer at nag-aaway sina Kairo, Wes, at Oliver kung sino ang karapat-dapat na maghabol, si Maki ang naatasan ng responsibilidad na 'yon. No, he didn't win the jak-en-poy. But when the three boys were about to fight, he suggested himself and in an instant, everyone gave up and handed it to him.

"Sasamahan kita." I offered.

Maki turned to me, teary-eyed. Kahit na pinaunlakan siya ng ibang kasama ko ng masasamang tingin ay hinawakan niya ang magkabilang pisngi ko. He pucked his lips, making kissing noises at the air between us. He looks like a duck.

"Ang bait-bait mo talaga, Finn!" he squished my cheeks. "'Pag na-lure ko ang giant, pakasalan mo ak-"

"Hoy! Akala ko ba men bet mo, ba't ka nakikipagflirt sa baby ko!" sigaw ni Eura at hinila si Maki sa buhok nito.

"Ba't ka sumisingit sa kasweetan namin ha, Eura," Maki argued, both hands on his hips. "Bet mo din ba si Finn o nagpapalakas ka sa bestf-"

Naputol ang sasabihin niya dahil sa malakas na sigaw ni Eura. For some reason, it effectively caught the giant's attention, luring him towards us. I debated over handing Maki's role to Eura. Mas magaling siya sa paghahanap ng gulo.

"C'mere, kitten. Hayaan mo sila maging lurers." Kairo darkly said, pulling me to his side. "That's what people who can't keep their hands to themselves face."

"What a hypocrite." Wes muttered behind us. "You say that but your hands on her."

Hindi pa nakakasagot si Kairo nang may umakbay sa'kin at hinatak ako sa isang yakap. If I haven't memorized the warmth of this hug, I wouldn't know it's Gavin. But the way his grip tightens and his quiet breaths in my hair made me remember every death anniversary I spent with him.

I heard Kairo's attempt to complain and Wes' grumbling at him to shut up before dragging him away.

"Finn..." his voice trembled. "Huwag kang manakot ng gano'n! Akala ko nawala ka na. Akala ko kung ano nang nangyari sa'yo! I was so damn worried, I could have killed that friend of yours, damn it!"

He pulled from the hug, cupping my face. His eyes were searching and worried so I gave him a soft smile. "'m okay!" I tried to sound energetic.

"Promise me you'd be careful from now on. I can't lose you, Finn." his serious eyes bore into me. "You're the main reason why I played this game and stayed this long. Kung mawawala ka pa sa'kin pagkatapos nila, baka maging kagaya ako ng higanteng 'yan."

"Hide yourself?"

"Nah, I'd kill everyone in my sight."

Sobrang seryoso niya at napakatalim ng tingin na napatawa ako. "If you do, you're not Gavin anymore."

The anger in his face dissipated and the same bright smile reappeared. "Hindi ba bagay?"

Umiling ako.

"Sama!" akusa niya sabay nguso. "Feeling ko bagay sa'kin ang protective bestfriend na susuntukin mga manliligaw mo."

"Afraid of Kairo."

"Eh? So sinasabi mong nanliligaw nga siya sa'yo?"

"Gavin, look!" may tinuro ako sa likod niya na sinunod niya naman. Iniwan ko siya doon.

Mabilis talaga mauto.

Panay ang sigaw nina Eura at Maki habang hinahabol ng higante. The giant's thunderous steps made the earth quake, and the golems to follow its footsteps. The rest of us were tasked to keep the golems away from attacking the lurers.

When the giant passed the gate, the string of magic broke.

Outside, the whole village was waiting for their hero.

Nagliwanag ang mga bato na nasa gate and the giant stopped in its tracks. One of the older villagers stepped forward, holding her hand out. The giant bended down, letting the outstretched palm touch its cheek... and like a simple and cruel magic trick, the stones that covered his body vanished in an instant, revealing a young man with blue-violet mixed with yellow eyes.

It's really surprising how complicated problems often have the simplest solutions. But people often overthink themselves, eventually making a small problem get bigger.

A window popped up showing that we've successfully completed the quest. Lumapit naman ang mga kasama kong maglalaro sa village chief siguro at doon sa lalaking god. Hindi ako umalis sa kinatatayuan at nanatiling sa panonood sa kanila. As if sensing my stare, the god turned to me, his beautiful eyes meeting mine.

Dreams... huh.

To dream is like taking the risk of falling. And an unreachable dream often causes us to fall. Nakakatawa kung paano isang double-edged sword ang pagpangarap. As much as it can cause you to rise, it can also be your doom. If nightmares can wake you up and solving it can make you strong, a dream forgotten and lost can turn into the worst nightmare.

But like the proverb said, a dream is also something worthy of falling seven times. At the end, all the scars can be soothed by the satisfaction of fulfilling it.

Bumalik ako sa lawa. The mountain was in shambles and the shards of crystals scattered along the wide forest. The golems, who vanished along the god's evil form, were reduced to stones. And now I can perfectly see how the island is surrounded by water. A small turtle slowly made its way to my palm, tickling my bare skin.

"So small but contented. If only humans were like that."

Natigilan ako nang marinig ang boses ni Sapphire. She smirked when I turned around, sitting a few meters away from me and playing with the turtles too. The distance between us seemed so distant. Her presence felt cold and strange, different from the Sapphire I've made friend of.

"Why?" simpleng tanong ko pero maraming pinagkakahulugan.

"A one-word question but requires so many answers." mahina siyang tumawa. "Why did I push you? Or why did I help in ruining your life? I'm sure you know by now... what I did to you? Mukhang close ka na kay Marcella."

"I don't remember doing anything wrong to you."

"Yes, Finn. You didn't. I have some reasons, and you're just the poor victim... It's crazy how people can do anything for the sake of their dreams." she smiled. "Poor sparrow. You symbol protection and joy, but you're the most unprotected and in pain. I wonder, how long can you fly?"

Hindi ako sumagot.

"You're as small as this turtle, but you're not contented in a little lake. You're like that god who never believed in his power and wished for more, so he became the evil that he was afraid of. Isn't it familiar? Doesn't it ring a bell? Your old friend, perhaps?"

Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin. Sinagot niya ako ng isang halakhak.

"To dream an impossible dream is to take the greatest fall. I hope you can continue protecting your precious friends, Finn, while staying in that road of light. Mangha talaga ako sa'yo, alam mo 'yon. No matter how much I try to break you, you continue to stand right even while you're bleeding." tuluyan siyang tumayo at ngumiti sa'kin. "What will it take to break you, Finn?"

I just stared at her, unable to get a word out. When she figured that I won't answer, she started to walk away. Pero hindi ko siya hinayaang makalayo.

"Why did you push me?"

Sapphire did not bother to turn when she answered, "I was hitting two birds with one stone. I wanted to see if you could break and the other... I have a secret I need to keep." tinaas niya ang kamay bilang pagkaway. "By the way, escaping your friend's cage was too easy."

Pinanood ko siyang umalis. The turtle left my palm to continue swimming in the water. What does it take to break me, huh?

I don't know. I don't think there's anything to break anymore... there's only the fixing of my broken shards.

"Sparrow."

Napatayo ako bigla nang marinig ang boses ni Wes. His serious eyes scanned my body before meeting my gaze.

"The twenty-fifth city is open. Let's go."

Two more cities and someone still wants to ruin me. Just how much of a nightmare will the two last cities be?

"Finn! Excited ka na ba? Ako kasi excited na. Medyo naasiwa na ako sa isla na ito na parang mula sa Moana. Kulang na lang pumunta tayo sa dagat tapos makipagsayaw tayo sa mga pating. My gosh! Kapag talaga nakalabas tayo dito, kailangan kong magpa-spa! Samahan mo 'ko magspa, Finn, ha?!"

I nodded at Eura's every word. Nang makita niya ako kanina ay bigla na lang niya akong hinila patungo sa portal papunta sa next city.

"Sige, magspa tayo." bumuntong-hinga si Maki na parang stressed na stressed na. "Feel ko maaga akong magkakawrinkles sa game na 'to! Excited na akong mahawakan ang skin care products ko. Pumangit na ba ako, Eura?"

"First of all, pangit ka nang hinayupak ka so wala ka nang ikakapangit pa. Second, hindi kita inimbita sa spa ha. Ba't ka sasama?"

"Well, Eura, kung sasama si Finn, kasama din ako. Automatic na 'yon kasi besties kami!"

"Luh, hoy tangina mo, saang mundo ka nakatira at ina-assume mong besties kayo?! For your information, ako ang nasa tabi ni Finn since starting city ha! Tapos mula pa kami sa same guild outside dito! Kaya shoo ka, hayop, ako 'yong b-"

"Kung bestfriend ang usapan, huwag na kayong magtalo. Ako 'yon." Gavin cut through our conversation with a smile. "Akin 'to." sabay akbay niya sa'kin.

"Luh, eto naman, hindi majoke?"

"Mag-uusap na lang ba kayo dito o papasok na sa susunod na city?" galit na tanong ni Kairo at nauna na.

"An'yare kay Papi, Eura?" Maki asked with a small pout.

He looks so cute everytime he pouts. Like a small and adorable duck.

"Ayun, nainis kasi nakaalis 'yong gaga. 'Di ko nga alam paano nangyari 'yon. May tanginang cheat ata 'yong babaeng 'yon."

"Weird ang feeling ko sa babaeng 'yon... Parang..."

"Parang ano, Maki? Parang gago? Tangina, tapusin mo nga 'yang sinasabi mo!"

"'Langhiya! Linisan mo nga 'yang bibig mo!"

I chuckled, watching the two of them argue as we stepped to the next city. The beautiful island became a small room with desks lined up. There's the familiar board in front, with speakers in the top-right side and a large TV. Sa labas ay kitang-kita ang malaking field at isang saradong gate.

"Putangina!"

Napamura at napatalon sa gulat ang lahat dahil sa sigaw ni Eura. Napaupo siya sa sahig at mukhang takot na takot na.

"Tanginang nightmare na naman ba 'to?! Bakit tayo nasa school sa lahat ng putanginang lugar na pwedeng puntahan! Tangina naman! Gago ka, kung sino ka man! Huwag mong sabihin kukuha kami ng mga putanginang exams na 'yan?!"

"Fucking hell, Eura. Baka naman gusto mo pang dagdagan 'yang pinagmumura mo?" naiinis na sagot ni Kairo.

Eura challenged his glare. Galit na galit nga talaga ata dahil nasa school kami. "Putangina. Gago. Hinayupak. Tae. Punyeta. Buwisit. Pakshit. Lintik. Ulol. Fuck. Damn. Bullshit—"

Gavin immediately covered Eura's mouth to save our ears from the profanities that bled out.

Bago pa magkaroon ng bagong negative reactions ay tumunog ang speakers at isang male robotic voice ang nagsalita. As I listened to our mission, I saw Sapphire smirking at me.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

Welcome to the School, the twenty-fifth city, rogues! We congratulate you for arriving at the second last city of this game. You have fought well!

Completing the city is simple. Similar to the tenth city, the school is filled with your clones. But there's a twist! It will be the clones of all players that participated in this game, not just the players that stepped into this city. So you might see your old, dear friends again!

The goal is to leave the school. And you can do so by using the gate. But be careful~! The clones and the hunters are out to get you.

Escaping is one of your best asset and emotional detachment is necessary if you want the benefit. Killing at least fifty clones will result to a revolution flag. Can you keep your emotions and dreams in check? Don't worry too much and kill them, they're not real! Just clones!

Hahaha! Have a fun time, rogues.

▪︎▪︎▪︎

She wasn't joking, alright. The last two cities... may be the most unforgiving.

-chapter end-