-chapter ninety-nine-

FINN

"This is bad. I don't think anyone's gonna play soon."

Hindi ko mapigilang sumang-ayon sa sinabi ni Maki. The announcement has already passed an hour but no one is still moving. Some of them are standing in groups, may iba ring nakaupo ng kaniya-kaniya.

"But... there are people who started already." sabay turo ko sa mga taong nagsisimulang maglaro ng casino games.

Maki shrugged. "Most of them are from Marcella's guild. Sila 'yong mga nandito at naglalaban pa kahit na nawalan ng kaibigan o kasama. But most of the players here suffered a big loss at the last city. Iyon talaga ang nagbawas sa player count natin."

I frowned. "Anong ibig mong sabihin?"

"Ah. You didn't realize since you and Marcella were fighting... but, the past city was a hell to ordinary players. Marami ang nahulog at naitulak ng lalaking 'yon. Even though you saved a lot from being left behind, they struggled at the last rocks. Napressure na din siguro sila ng timer kaya nagpa-unahan ang ibang naiwan at marami ang namatay."

My breath was knocked out of my lungs as I listened to Maki. Hindi ko na napansin ang nangyari noon dahil abala ako kay Marcella. The shadow barrier I made also stopped me from watching the players who moved on. Kaya pala sobrang konti na lang namin ngayon. Most of us died in there.

"See that girl." turo ni Maki sa isang babaeng nakatulala. "She lost her boyfriend of five years in the last city. Tinulak siya nito papunta sa isla bago nahulog. That man too-" he pointed at a grieving man sitting on a stool. "He lost his kid. Nagulat na lang siya na ibang kamay na ang hawak-hawak niya. 'Yon pala naitulak na ang totoong anak niya."

My eyes widened. "May bata dito?"

"I was surprised too. Eura told me that she met the same child back at the Dragon Arena. Siguro ay naglalaro na siya at sinamahan lang ng ama. I mean, we all started at a fairly young age too."

"Wala bang age limit dito sa beta-testing?"

"There was no real requirement, Finn. Whether you play games or not, whether you're old or not, if you accept their invitation then you're in." he laughed without humor. "Nakakapagtaka nga kung bakit nila ginawa ang larong 'to. To cater everyone? To let us know the dangers of games? Why would they kill us just for a fucking beta-test?"

Although Maki was treated as an outcast the whole game, it's heartwarming to see him empathize with the players than say it was karma.

"Baka sobrang bored na siya sa buhay at naisipang pumatay ng tao. Para na rin hindi tumaas ang populasyon natin." Sapphire inserted with a grin. "I mean, geniuses are the craziest, you know."

Maki awkwardly laughed, nodding his head at that. He looked tense and unsure of what to behave now that Sapphire is joining us. Kahit ako rin ay nawiwirdohan sa kaniya.

She was proven to be connected with Marcella and June, to the point that she influenced their actions. Marcella listened to her plans and participated, leading to Caspian's death. She made the way for June to kill Depore. Malaki rin ang kutob ko na may kinalaman siya sa sunod-sunod na atake sa Territory Wars, lalo na't siya ang naging acting leader do'n.

But if she ever did that to wound me, what is her motive? Hindi ko siya matandaan o makilala. Alam kong wala akong nagawang masama sa kaniya. Kagaya ba siya ni Marcella na gustong malamangan ako? Maybe she helped Marcella to become the first rank and she'll take the second spot instead of me. Pero hindi hindi obsessed si Sapphire sa rankings, or she could be but she's good at hiding it.

"Bakit natahimik kayo bigla?" tumawa siya. "Did you see a ghost or something?"

I kept on staring at her while Maki shakes his head continuously. "Medyo napaisip lang kami sa sinabi mo, girl. Pero agree din naman kami. Talagang baliw na matalino ang gumawa ng game na ito. I have been betrayed by my favorite company!"

Sapphire giggled, tapping Maki's shoulder. "It's okay. Ang importante ay makaalis tayo dito ng buhay."

"So should we just disregard those who died and the feelings of those in grief?"

Nagulat siya sa naging tanong ko. Even Maki glanced at me with wide eyes. But I couldn't help it. Her statement made me think that she doesn't care about the feelings of others just for her own survival-  when we could have finished this game unscathed if we just worked together.

Ngunit ang sarili nilang ambisyon at negatibong emosyon ang kumitil sa buhay ng iba. Their negligence for other people's feelings, the despair and grief they turned into hatred, and even the smallest responsibility they refused to partake. Mula sa hindi pag-ingat ng unang namatay at sa mabilis na pagsuko ni Sebastian. The couple who promised moon and stars for each other when they couldn't achieve it. The ambitious players who would go straight for victory without suffering defeat.

No one has changed until now. They still execute the same self-survival techniques and assigned faults to others. They still stab the same hurtful words without any deep thought, without seeing the full picture. Like sheeps following the crowd, they're easily manipulated by the different versions of truth.

And the truth they believed must be helpful for them. Dapat sila ang biktima doon. Dapat sila ang walang kasalanan. Dapat iba ang kontrabida.

I wouldn't be surprised if they turn their backs to Marcella. The only thing stopping them now is that she would help them, although unwillingly, because they're tied with a Bond Link.

"Hindi naman iyon ang ibig kong sabihin, Finn. I just want us to keep moving on and playing this game, dahil hindi naman magiging masaya ang mga naiwan kung dito tayo susuko. Ano na lang ang mangyayari sa sinakripisyo nila kung mawawalan din tayo ng pag-asa? We stood here because of them and we carry that burden until the end, so we have to make sure that we complete this game. For our own sake and theirs." Sapphire smiled. "I liked how you're talking more now. You've been expressing a lot of your feelings recently."

Nagsimula ito noong nacorner ako ng dalawa at tinalikuran ako ng mundo. That time, I wanted to stand up for myself and face them head on. And I guess that feeling of being able to say what you want has lessened the burden I carry. Hindi na mabigat ang damdamin ko dahil nasasabi ko na ang nais kong sabihin sa mga tao. Kagaya noong nag-usap kami ni Marcella kung saan malaya kong nabahagi sa kaniya ang lahat na hinanakit ko.

Tinapik ni Sapphire ang balikat ko. "Didn't it lessen the burden you're carrying? Napakatahimik mo kasi kaya walang may alam kung galit ka o hindi. Actions speaks louder than words, but sometimes they're confusing and meaningless without explanation."

Maki and I stared strangely at Sapphire as she left us to partake on some game. Nakangiti siyang tumabi sa isang antok na Theo. Speaking of, the guy is being cheated by his seatmate dahil nakikita ang cards niya, pero walang pakialam ang half-asleep niyang mata.

"Pumunta lang ba dito 'yon para maglecture? She's so weird... and suspicious. Kaya ba pumayag sina June at Marcella sa crazy ideas niya? Kasi magaling siyang mambola?" Maki wondered.

I shrugged and pouted. Is she really an enemy or another broken villain? Dahil kay June at Marcella ay hindi ko na alam kung anong ita-trato sa mga tao. They're both emotionally damaged people manipulated to their desires and ambitions. They're at fault for their sins but they also just need help.

"Pero I agree with her, Finn. You've been really talkative lately. Naalala ko pa noong nakita kita sa Magus City at halos mamatay na sila para lang magsalita ka. Ngayon baka mas maingay ka pa kay Eura!"

Umiling ako sa sinabi niya. "Impossible."

No one can beat Eura when it comes to noise. Setting aside the words that leave her mouth every second, her voice is also ten times louder than mine. Marami na ang nakakarinig sa natural na boses niya pa lang, pero kailangan ko na sigurong sumigaw no'n.

We both grimaced when a loud laugh rang in the air. Hindi na kailangang hanapin kung sino dahil obvious na si Eura iyon. She's been laughing loudly everytime she wins a round between her friends, at binabatukan naman siya ni Kairo kapag nangyayari 'yon.

Nahagip ng mata ko ang babaeng nakaupo na ngayon habang nakahilig sa pillar. Her chest was heaving and small sobs were coming out of her mouth. Hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili na lumapit at umupo sa harap niya. I offered one of my clean handkerchief to wipe her tears. Nanlalaki ang mata niyang napatitig sa'kin.

"Anong-" she couldn't stifle a sob. "-ginagawa mo?"

Was Sebastian like this when he lost Renée too? He suffered like this silently and I was unaware. I was helpless because I couldn't talk to him. Of course, he just lost the person he promised his whole life with and with no one else to lean on, he just... surrendered.

"I have a friend like you." malungkot akong napangiti. "He lost his love in this game too and he gave up on the fourteenth city. Siguro hindi niya nakayanan na magpatuloy pa kung wala siya. After all, he hasn't spent a single year in his life without her by his side."

There was a flash of understanding and sympathy in her eyes. Nagpatuloy ako. "But in the midst of his grief, he forgot to notice the people waiting and loving him. He was so blinded with pain that he was unaware of how wounded his friends are too. Kahit ngayon gusto ko siyang pagalitan dahil hindi man lang niya kami naisip. He lost his love, but we lost them both."

"I-"

"Gustong-gusto mo na rin sigurong sumuko sa kaloob-looban mo. Pero hindi ba't may naghihintay rin sa'yo?" I glanced at the grieving man near us. "Kung hindi man nandito sa game, pero sa labas. There's family and friends outside waiting for us to come home, kaya sana maisip niyo kami bago kayo sumuko. Maisip niyong magpatuloy dahil 'yong mga taong nawala sa inyo, they would hate to see themselves as the reason for your deaths. They want to see you complete this game and live. If not for you, then for them." I inhaled deeply, controlling myself from crying. "It's the burden we survivors must carry."

Biglang humagulgol ang babae at napayakap sa'kin. She poured out every single emotion in her body, crying out for the lover she lost. Nanatili lang akong nakaupo at nakikinig sa lahat ng mga iniiyak niya. And when she was finally ready, I let go.

She wiped the tears in her eyes and restored the determination in her eyes. "I will finish this game, Sparrow. Gagawin ko 'to para sa'ming dalawa dahil 'yon din ang pinangako namin sa isa't isa." ngumiti siya. "Thank you, Sparrow."

And along with her, the other defeated players stood up, looking even more alive. They gave me their determined looks and strong smiles, walking over to the game tables with a renewed spirit. I blinked at their actions, surprised at how they were strengthened.

Napalingon ako kay Maki para sana maintindihan kung anong nangyari, but I was even more confused when I saw their proud looks. Lalo na si Eura na napapasinghot pa at may sinasabing 'malaki na ang anak ko'. I refused to look at Wes' direction because from this point, I can already feel his staring. It was sending prickles to my neck.

Ngunit nabasag ang pagkamangha sa mukha nina Kairo, Theo, at Oliver nang akbayan ako ni Gavin. Almost quickly, their proud and amazed eyes were shadowed by frustration.

"I'm so proud of you, Finn!" Gavin exlaimed, engulfing me in a tight hug. "Nae-express mo na ang sarili mo ngayon, hindi lang sa amin pero sa iba rin. Parang isang proud na kuya mo ako."

I pouted at his words, looking away. "You're not my kuya."

"Siyempre kuya mo ako kasi mama at papa mo sina Ree at Baste." binitawan niya ako para hawakan ang magkabilang pisngi. Our faces are so close that I can feel his breath fanning on my face. "Okay lang na magalit ka kay Baste dahil iniwan niya tayo ng walang paalam. Kahit ako, gusto ko siyang suntukin kung makikita ko lang siya ulit. Pero sigurado akong binubugbog na rin siya ni Ree, Mcdo at Kuya sa kung saan man sila ngayon. So smile and live on, okay, Finn? I'll make sure that you won't feel pain anymore."

"Paano mo naman nasisiguro 'yon e lagi ka ngang wala." mahinang reklamo ko. "You're easily controlled by your leader."

Just as I finished my sentence, Gavin was forcibly pulled away from me and I saw Kairo's irritated face. He smiled without humor, a glare present in his eyes.

"Oo nga naman. Kung easily controlled ka nga, bakit nandito ka't nakayakap kay Finn." it's a bit scary how Kairo could say that with a smiling face.

I pursed my lips, frowning at his attitude. Alam kong masama si Kairo pero may times naman na mabait siya kaya naniniwala ako sa kaniya, pero marami talaga siyang ginagawa na nakakaiirita sa'kin. Kagaya nito.

Hinawakan ko ang braso ni Gavin para hatakin siya papunta sa'kin, while pushing my other hand to Kairo's chest to keep him away. Nanlaki ang mata niya, sabay sa pagkagulat nina Eura at Maki sa likod.

"Stop keeping Gavin away from me." deklara ko. "You're his leader, yes, but he's also free to be with me. Bakit ba lagi mo siyang pinapalayo sa'kin? Naiinis na ako sa'yo, Kairo."

I couldn't understand the expressions that visited Kairo's face. Gulat siya na parang natatawa, pero hindi naman iyon nakaka-insulto. He looked both amazed and confused by my actions, but his smile was soft and proud. Wasn't he supposed to be irritated?

Bigla niyang tinakpan ang bibig at itinago ang mukha. I frowned at his actions but he stopped me from approaching, "S-Sandali lang, Finn. Medyo nahihirapan akong magmove on."

Sinulyapan ko si Gavin na namamangha ring nakatitig sa'kin. I let go of him and a pout formed on my lips at their strange actions. I wasn't fighting so why are they astonished?

My question was answered when Eura clashed her body to mine, pinching my cheek in a swift move. Napakalaki ng ngiti niya.

"Oh my gosh, Finn! Ang cute cute mo do'n sa part na 'naiinis na ako sa'yo, Kairo.'," she tried copying my voice and expression. "Grabe, luluhod na talaga ako anytime-"

Binatukan siya ni Maki na bigla ring sumulpot. "Gaga! Maghunos-dili ka at ikontrol 'yang kilig mo! Hindi tayo pwedeng magpadala sa ating own feelings."

"Okay na, Finn. Huwag kang mag-alala." Sapphire showed up, holding a some handkerchiefs while also wiping her nose with one. "Nabigyan ko na ang lahat nito."

"That's great. Parang wala lang 24 hours mark na nangyayari sa pinapakita niyo."

Napalingon ako nang marinig ang blankong komento ni Marcella. She looked unfazed by the current events so I wondered if she's used to it. Even with that remark, she had no hostile in her voice unlike our past interactions. Tuloy ay parang pagod na siya na para bang lagi niya na itong nakikita.

"Have you played a game, Marcella?" tanong ko sa kaniya.

She nodded, looking troubled. "I must warn you, Sparrow. The games in here aren't as innocent as they look." hinatak niya ako palapit sa isang mesa kung saan nagaganap ang isang poker game. "At first, it looks like we're betting in order to increase our chips. But once we go over the 1000 mark or place a high bet, the risk intensifies."

Kinabahan ako sa sinabi niya lalo na nang ipakita niya ang isa sa mga condition ng game. There, she pointed at the rule that states - if a player has 1000 chips on-hand or places a bet of 10000 and up, she must gamble with her life. Sunod niyang itinuro ang isang babae na maputla ang mukha. She was holding her cards with her shivering hands. Mula sa kinatatayuan namin ay kitang-kita kung gaano siya nababahala.

I was about to ask Marcella a question, when she spoke.

"One of my members placed 20000 chips as a bet and if she ever loses," her eyes turned serious. "She will die."

-chapter end-