19
"Did you love him?"
I let the question soak in the air, as my eyes stay glued to the ceiling, I'm laying on the bed, in Decker and I's room. The ceiling is off white, yet I look at it like it has all the answers written on it. Tears still flowed down my cheek and into my hairline as the cruel truth slapped me in the face. I had never stopped waiting for Jacob. My heart had only just recently stopped aching for him. All those years I told my self I hated him, and it was all bullshit, I knew if Jacob had ever lifted the ban, I would have come running. He never did, but now he wants me? I can't seem to wrap my head around it; he is my mate yet, being with him now seems so wrong.
"Did you love him?" Destiny's voice cuts through, and I wonder how she knows.
"Yes," I whisper in response, still looking hopelessly at the ceiling.
"A lot?"
I swallow harshly at her words. "It doesn't matter anymore."
"Well, why not?" The bed dips, and as I feel her lay down beside me. I feel her eyes staring at me.
"It wasn't enough to make him love me back."
"Unrequited love still counts Sin," Destiny whispers, and I look at her with a confused look. "You loved, and you learned, so it still counts." I smile slightly at her wisdom.
"You know, I could have him killed?" Destiny states, and I laugh out loud as I wipe the last tear away before looking at her.
"If I wanted him dead, I would have already killed him."
Destiny smiles brightly at my words, "Good, I was worried you were turning weak on me."
Suddenly her eyes glaze over for a second. She then sits up, "Well, they are about to have the Funeral for the wolf killed. We are all supposed to go, which is why I came up here," Destiny gets off the bed and grabs a bag that was on the floor and hands it to me. "So hurry up and get dressed," Destiny states before hurriedly running out of the room. I sigh as I quickly get dressed.
***
I smooth over the simple black dress, I slip on the heels and look in the mirror, I let out a frustrated sigh as I rub under my eyes, I still looked like I had just finished crying. Suddenly I hear the door open; I turn to see Decker walking in; he is wearing a simple black suit. I so desperately want to take it off.
Concern takes over Decker's robust features as he quickly walks to me, taking me in his arms. I don't push him away, letting my body and heart enjoy the comfort. His hand cups my cheek, and I lean into it, a sense of Deja Vu taking over.
"Sin, what happened? Who hurt you, are you okay, do I need to kill someone?" I giggle at Decker's concern and shake my head at him.
"I'm fine Decker-"
"No, you are not, you've been crying, and I was not here to prevent it or at least soothe you, I need to mark you, so next time I will know." My eyes widen at his words as I take a step back, my jaw drops, and I shake my head.
"Mark me? Decker, We aren't mates." I argue, seeing as my mate is in the house as us. I don't know why Decker and I have a mate bond, but it can't be real. Second chance mates were unheard.
Decker narrows his eyes at me."Why can't you believe you're my mate?" Decker growls, and I see the fight going on inside of him, He is holding back his wolf, it's been too long, the wolf king is ready to mark me.
The raw emotions seem to come back to life as I rub my head, a bucket of my insecurities dump over me. What reason could the king want me as a mate, it didn't make sense. My alpha mate didn't want me, but the king does? I want Decker, but I can't be broken by a man again. So I shrug my shoulders. "Why should I," My voice trembles, and I clench my jaw at it, my emotions are becoming unstable all over again.
"What reason would I have to lie or not want you? I won't reject you like that other asshole." Decker argues as he tries to keep his voice even.
Tears brim my eyes again, the words acting as a trigger to my past. I throw my hands up. "I don't know; I could never really figure out why my first mate rejected me." My hands shake as I swallow a sob; my jaw hurts from clenching my teeth.
Decker's eyes soften at my distress.
I shake my head as I look away from Decker, "I mean I had a crush on him for years, he didn't even know I existed," I breath out. "I wasn't an omega, My father was a warrior wolf, I trained hard, I wasn't the best, but I wasn't weak either," I shakily breathe in.
"He bumped into me, and I felt the sparks immediately, I was ecstatic. I prayed to the moon goddess for him to be my mate, It would be easy, I was already in love with him," A light growl comes from Decker at the mention of me loving Jacob.
"Immediately disgust filled his face, and I don't even think he knew my name, someone had to mindlink it to him," I bite at my lip for a moment as my gaze goes to the floor. My throat burns as I try to hold back the cries of my broken heart.
"He rejected me. I took to long to accept it, so he kicked me," A growl comes from Decker, he is closer to me now. "The whole school saw it, and they didn't say a damn thing," I grit out as I look him in the eyes, tears stream down my face as my voice turns harsh.
"I went home and told my mom," I say as my hands ball into fist. My nails dig into my skin. She told me I was not enough for the family if I wasn't enough for the Alpha. She said I needed to find out what was wrong with me and fix it." My voice rises with each word, Decker watches me, expressionless but I see in his eyes a storm brewing.
"So I packed a bag. I had to leave. I couldn't show my face again. I got to the border and cried, I couldn't get myself to go!" My throat burns as it tightens as I try not to sob. "He came out there. I begged him to tell me why he didn't want me so I could fix whatever was wrong with me. I begged him to love me!" I yell as all the anger and heartbreak mixed like a hurricane, I grab a lamp and throw it at the wall, it shatters as I turn back to Decker with rage and hatred as I scream out.
"He banished me! I was sixteen, he turned me into a rogue, knowing I would die!" I scream at Decker harshly with narrowed eyes.
"So excuse me if I can't wrap my head around the fact that the fucking Alpha King is my mate and wants me," I state as my voice drops to a harsh, broken whisper as I step tp Decker, our chests inches away from touching. "When my first mate sent me to my death."
My watery eyes look into is firey ones, suddenly his hand comes to the back of my neck as he brings my lips to his. Decker's other hand goes to my waist as he pulls my body to him. Tingles danced across my skin; the kiss is messy and emotional as I pour everything into it. This kiss is different from the others; this kiss is desperate and needy.
This kiss is both of us wanting something that was ripped from us before we could claim it as ours.
Suddenly my back hits something soft and I realize I am laying on the bed with Decker on top of me. His hand travels from my waist to the hem of my dress, I get a chill from the feeling of need taking over me.
Though I jump as a knock sounds through the room, we break apart as the door opens.
"Are you two com-uh did we interrupt something?" Colt asks with a smirk while Destiny glares daggers at me.
Decker growls and I blush from embarrassment.
Goddess kill me now, please?
*****
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