Photo by Marcela Laskoski on Unsplash

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Lilah

Before Ainsley showed up with Maddie in tow, I thought stealing a moment alone with Asher and trying not to lead Ethan on would be my biggest challenges this evening. Now, I'm sure it's going to be dealing with whatever drama Ainsley has up her sleeve. A sinking feeling of dread leaves me cold. Or perhaps it's due to the fact that I've stopped dancing, and the sweat has cooled on my skin. As soon as my dance with Ethan finished, I seized the moment to take a break with my friends, heading to the bar in the corner of the ballroom.

Unfortunately, the spot we've chosen on the edge of the room to stand and drink affords us a prime view of Ainsley and Maddie dancing up a storm and making a spectacle of themselves. The two of them have quite the audience, making it difficult to ignore their presence. Maddie is, after all, pretty much a celebrity, and even though people have seen her at parties, she was there as Asher's girlfriend. Now she's technically single.

As we sip our drinks, Kennedy glares at Maddie and Ainsley, and I can feel the tension rising.

"Why would Ainsley bring her?" Briony asks.

"Why does Ainsley do anything?" I grumble. "She wants to cause trouble."

"But why would Maddie agree and come here?" Briony asks, slipping off her shoes and massaging her feet. "I mean, she's older than us, graduated at least a year ago, why would she come to the prom? Does she want Asher back?"

"Who knows," Kennedy replies, looking over at me.

Lana and Briony are also studying me. I take a deep breath and try to push aside the sudden chaotic thought-train in my brain and focus on the present moment.

A teacher walks past and gives Briony a stern look, indicating she needs to put her shoes back on.

As Briony sighs and puts her shoes back on, Lana says, "I vote for ignoring them and doing what we set out to do - let loose for the night. I didn't come here with you girls to let them ruin our night."

She's right, and Lana beams at me when she sees me nod.

Inside, though, that sinking feeling of dread still lingers. And if I'm completely honest, I'm worried that Maddie's presence might make it difficult for me to spend any time with Asher without extra scrutiny. Because of our near miss a couple of weeks back, I've been looking forward to this evening. Even knowing it was a group date, I still hoped to be able to dance with him and spend time with him. But the two girls keep glancing over at Asher and Ethan, who are still dancing with the rest of the group. How long will it be before they approach?

"I wish they would leave, but yeah, let's try and forget them," Kennedy mumbles.

"Let's get back to dancing then," Briony says, with one more dubious look at her feet.

"Blisters?" I ask her.

She nods. "And general pain from wearing five-inch heels. I meant to wear them in but forgot."

"I have Band-Aids in the suite," Kennedy tells her.

Briony purses her lips and looks at her feet again. "Thanks, I'll let you know if I need them."

With that, we head back to the dance floor, where thankfully, Ethan doesn't ask me to dance again. I dance with my girls for a few songs before Ainsley and Maddie finally approach us.

"Ethan." Ainsley positions herself right in front of him so he can't keep dancing without bumping into her. "I want to talk to you."

Ethan looks completely nonplussed by her demand but shrugs, and they walk out of the ballroom.

Maddie smiles at Asher. "Hey, Ash."

He tips his chin at her. "Mads. How are you?" His question is polite but cool.

"I'm good."

Her gaze flicks between Asher and me, and I wonder if she knows anything about us. "Well, I just...wanted to say hi."

Asher nods, and with a tight smile, she walks away. I watch her as she joins some of Ainsley's friends, probably girls she's been introduced to before at parties and whatnot, but I see her look back at us. Rather, I see her look back at Asher.

With Ethan, Ainsley, and Maddie gone, people go back to dancing.

"Can I have this dance?" Asher asks, holding out his hand.

I take his hand without hesitation, feeling a rush of excitement and relief. This is the moment I've been waiting for. Asher and I move away from the others and start to dance. His hand is warm in mine, and his eyes are fixed on me. I blush under his gaze, feeling like my heart is about to beat out of my chest. He pulls me closer, our bodies connected.

"I can't believe Maddie came."

"I know. I hope she didn't come here for me."

"You know she probably did."

He shakes his head. "She knows my interest lies elsewhere."

"She does?" I squeak.

He smirks. "She knows my feelings for you are anything but brotherly."

We move together in time with the music, barely noticing the other people around us. Everything else fades away as we stare into each other's eyes; it's just him and me right now.

"Speaking of exes, I don't like the way my brother is looking at you tonight," Asher says softly. "It would be so much easier if he didn't still think he's in love with you."

"I know," I reply, resting my head against his chest. "I don't want to hurt him."

Is it inevitable if Asher and I continue?

As we continue to dance, Asher brushes his lips against my ear. "I don't want to hurt him either. This whole situation is terrible. It's not fair on anyone."

I nod, feeling a shiver run down my spine at the warmth of his breath on my skin. He pulls away slightly, his hand still holding mine as we sway to the music. Our eyes meet, and I can see the desire in his gaze.

Asher's grip on me tightens, and I look up into his face, my heart pounding in my chest. Dark, hooded eyes seduce me— the intensely gorgeous looks of a rock star. But it's who he is underneath all that that has been reeling me in ever since he stopped hating me and started letting me in. I know the real him now; the guy who can be sarcastic and funny one minute, and then turn sweet and gentle the next.

I can barely tear my eyes from his lips, so close to mine. I have been waiting all night to feel those lips on mine. I've been waiting weeks to feel those lips on mine again. I'm almost tempted to stand on my tiptoes and press my lips to his, but as the song comes to an end, Asher looks around and curses. Ethan has just walked back into the ballroom, a scowl on his face and Ainsley on his heels. He storms across the ballroom towards us with a furious expression.

"Uh-oh," I whisper, taking a step apart from Asher as Ethan approaches us.

I don't know whether he's angry because Ainsley has said something to upset him or whether he's upset with us, but it quickly becomes clear. "What is going on between the two of you? And don't even think of lying to me."

I shoot Asher a quick and worried glance before taking a deep breath and trying to stay calm. "Ethan, we were just dancing."

His laugh is full of disbelief. "Bullshit! First, I come home after my driving lessons and catch the two of you together in your room, and then the moment I walk out of here with Ainsley, you start dancing with him." Ethan's face turns red with anger. "I'm not stupid. I know something is going on."

People around us are starting to take notice.

"Ethan-" Asher starts, putting his hand on his brother's arm.

Ethan shrugs him off. "Ainsley was just telling me what an idiot I am for not seeing the truth in front of my face. Tell me she's wrong."

Asher shakes his head and takes a step closer to his brother. "Let's go outside."

Ethan rolls up his sleeves and stands up straighter. "I'm not going anywhere until we get this sorted."

"This isn't the place," Asher tells him.

"Why? Why not let everyone hear this? I want everyone to hear how you betrayed me. Even Maddie saw it," Ethan continues. "It's why you broke up, isn't it? The duet, the way you look at each other..." Ethan shakes his head. "It's so painfully obvious."

"Look around you," Asher says calmly. "We're making a scene. Let's not ruin everyone else's night."

"Ruin their night? I'm sure we're making their night." He casts his arm out, making a sweeping gesture. "I'm sure everyone else wants to know what you've been doing."

"I'm pretty sure we already know!" Ainsley chimes in gleefully.

I want to crawl under a rock. Everyone has stopped dancing, and even the DJ has halted the music. It's like something out of a horror movie—except this is my life. And Asher shocks me when he reveals the one thing that won't end this conversation but makes it all worse.

"We were trying to find the right time to tell you," Asher says gently but firmly.

The pain on Ethan's face and the look of betrayal as tears fill his eyes and he staggers back, looking between the two of us, rips my heart out. This is exactly what Asher wanted to avoid. So why did he say it here and now of all places?

When I look at him, he says softly, "If we lie now, we can never tell him the truth."

I know Asher is right, but this feels like the worst way for it to come out, and the pain I'm seeing on Ethan's face is excruciating.

Through the glimmer of tears, I can see Ainsley off to the side, smiling smugly, probably loving every minute of this. Maddie stands with her, but she doesn't look as happy. We're causing a scene that will likely go down in yearbook history, but worse than that, Ethan's pain is on full display. Ainsley and I will never be friends, but right now I hate her for orchestrating all of this.

Ethan's laugh is dark and jagged, filled with pain that cuts right through me. "The right time," he shakes his head. "You think there is a right time to tell me you betrayed me?"

"Ethan, I'm sorry. We didn't mean to hurt you," I say, my voice shaky with emotion. My chest tightens with fear as I wait for his reaction.

Ethan ignores me, focusing a look of intense hatred at Asher. "Do you remember the ultimatum you gave me?"

"Don't, Ethan," Asher pleads, his voice cracking. "Please."

"Pussy or the band. That's what you said to me, don't you remember?"

"I love her," Asher says.

My heart skips a beat as the weight of Asher's words sinks in. He loves me. This is the first time he's said it out loud, and he's saying it now, when I can't even tell him I feel the same way.

"So did I, but that didn't stop you. I loved her once, but you refused to accept it." Ethan looks at me and then back at Asher. "You ruined us."

Tears stream down my face, blurring my vision. The love I thought I had for Ethan pales in comparison to what I feel for Asher.

"I was wrong. I get that; I see that now. I was so incredibly wrong. I should never have made you choose. I shouldn't have said you couldn't focus on more than one thing, I just..." he runs a hand through his hair. "I was sure you were losing sight of things."

"She's clearly good at that," Ethan turns on me. "Making us lose sight of things. Like what it means to be brothers."

"Don't make this about her."

"Don't make it about her? She's at the centre of this entire messed-up situation."

He looks at me, the disgust and hate in his eyes tearing at me. "I knew you were upset and mad at me for dating Ainsley, but for you to move on with my own brother. Is this payback?"

"No! How can you ask me that? Don't you know me at all?"

He laughs bitterly. "I thought so once. Now I'm not sure." He looks at Ainsley and then back at me. "Maybe she was onto you after all, sleeping with us to get ahead."

A horrible noise fills the room, and it takes a moment for me to realize I've made the noise, the sob wrenched from my lungs as I hear his accusations. The pain and hurt cut deeper than I thought possible.

I'm in so much pain, but not enough to see Asher take a step toward his brother. I put my hand out, stopping him from making this nightmare situation ten times worse.

"Wow, knowing you feel that way, I'm glad we're not together," I choke out. "You should get back together with Ainsley. You deserve her."

For a moment, I think I glimpse regret in Ethan's eyes, but it's gone quickly enough. He looks at his brother. "She was my girlfriend until you made me choose. You keep forgetting that, but now it's your turn. Your choice. If you date her after forcing me to give her up, you're out of MOD." Ethan nods to himself. "Pretty sure Dad will back me on that." His gaze flicks between the two of us. "You know Dad and Cait will never approve. You'll ruin their marriage."

His words strike me with the force of a slap. I inhale deeply, the burden of Ethan's words pressing against my chest, creating a burning void that seeps into my soul and tears it apart.

Ethan storms off, Ainsley trailing behind, leaving Asher and me on the dance floor with the rest of the seniors who are watching us, waiting for what happens next. Even when the DJ starts the music up once more, people seem reluctant to tear their eyes from us.

They want to know what happens next, but the thing is, I have no idea. Finally, I see the truth—I have been living in a state of denial, wanting to believe that everything will be okay, that Asher will be able to talk his brother around and make Ethan understand, but I can no longer believe my own lies.

Our relationship was born at the wrong time and in the wrong place. There really is no hope for us. Falling for Asher isn't enough to save us from the reality of the situation. We're family. His brother is my ex and still thinks he loves me, and Ethan's right, our parents will never approve, especially if our relationship hurts Ethan and breaks up the band.

I look at Asher and feel my heart break as he stares after his brother, a look of pure anguish on his face. When Asher's attention returns to me, he says, "He knows now. The hardest part is over."

Is it? If that's the case, why does it feel like everything just got ten times harder? Did Asher not hear his brother tell him he had to choose?

Maybe Asher thinks he won't have to. I know he doesn't want to choose between us, but he may not be able to avoid it.

***

The prom is winding down, and I slip away, desperate for a moment alone. Despite my friends' attempts to console me, I'm consumed with despair, and I don't want my drama to ruin their evening any more than it already has. As soon as I convince them to go back to dancing, I head to the bathroom for some solitude.

The luxurious ladies' room isn't exactly empty, but it's not full either. The few girls reapplying their makeup are easy enough to ignore despite their noisy whispers and the looks they direct at me. I can't blame them for talking about me. Asher didn't go after Ethan, despite my urging, and we didn't dare dance again. Our messy situation will keep the school gossips happy for a while to come.

As I splash cold water on my face, trying to clear my thoughts and emotions, I'm interrupted by Maddie emerging from one of the stalls. Everyone else in the bathroom stops what they're doing to watch us.

Walking over to the sink beside mine, she starts washing her hands. "Lilah."

"Maddie."

I expect her to finish and leave, but instead she turns to me. "I don't always agree with everything Ainsley does."

I scoff. "You came here with her, and she's your friend."

Though why anyone would be friends with Ainsley is beyond me.

Maddie narrows her eyes at me. "Just because she's my friend doesn't mean I agree with everything she does. I don't think she should have wound Ethan up like that or laughed at the chaos."

"She's always enjoyed winding Ethan up." Especially about me.

"Yes, because she could see he still loved you and was jealous, and she could see what was going on between you and Asher."

I open my mouth to respond, but she holds up a hand. "I know Asher cares for you. I'm pretty sure he's even convinced himself he's in love with you. But have you considered that giving in to what you both feel will cost him everything?"

Her words tighten the noose of guilt around my throat, adding to the doubts and sense of hopelessness I've been drowning in since Ethan confronted us.

"Even if he can get Ethan to accept your relationship, do you think he'll stay dedicated to you – the forbidden fruit – when he's on tour and living the life of a rockstar?" Maddie asks. "You think it's fair to tie him down? Think about it, how can you possibly last? There is no future for you. Why ruin everything for those brothers for something that won't last? Not to mention what it will do to your parents. Think about it, Lilah. Really think about it. Can you be that selfish?"

Her words leave me lost for words as she walks out, and I'm left staring in the mirror but not really seeing anything. My emotional state is a mess when Kennedy walks up behind me and places a hand on my shoulder. "Hey, Asher is outside asking if you're staying in the suite with us or if you want a ride home?"

Swallowing past the lump of emotion in my throat, I turn to my best friend. "I might accept the lift. We should...we should probably talk."

Kennedy nods and looks me over. "I'll let him know."

As she walks out, I gather my courage to face Asher and the reality of the situation, no matter how much it wrecks me.