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Lilah

"Okay, tell me what you think of this one."

Outside, it's an overcast and rainy day. School resumes in just a few days, and Ethan has a double driving lesson. Asher came to my room to ask if he could study with me, but we've become distracted by discussing his favourite musicians of all time.

Asher scrolls through the list of songs on his phone before pressing play, filling my bedroom with the sound of bass, guitar, drums, and a gravelly voice. I love the sound, but it's the lyrics that capture and hold my attention. The heavy rock song is full of angst as a man sings about the woman he's with and the woman he wants to be with. It's similar to countless songs before it, but the emotion in the singer's voice combined with the heavy, angsty beat is irresistible.

When I look at Asher, he's watching me intently.

"This is one of your favourite songs?"

"It used to get in my head when I was on dates with Maddie."

I flinch inwardly. "This was your song for her?"

"No," he looks amused. "Aren't you listening to the lyrics? It's about running to the girl you want to be with instead of the one you're with."

I blush with pleasure as the meaning sinks in, causing Asher to appear even more amused.

He leaves the song playing but drops his phone on the bed where we're both sitting.

"Do you want to tell me about how your ideal senior prom looked?" he asks after a moment.

I grimace, thinking of the conversation we had with Ethan a week and a half ago.

"Not really," I say. "All of those plans were made with Ethan while we were together, but tastes change."

What I wanted changed.

The guy I wanted changed.

The brother I wanted changed.

Asher seems to ponder my response. "I take it your perfect night didn't involve a group date?"

I smile. "No."

"So, what did it involve?" he asks, his eyes searching mine.

I take a deep breath and try to put my thoughts into words. "I just wanted to spend the night with someone who made me feel special. And not in a grand, over-the-top way, just...simple."

Asher nods, his eyes softening. We sit in silence for a few moments before Asher speaks up again, his voice low. "I'm sorry you're not going to have that."

I smile. "It won't be the night I planned, but I still intend on enjoying myself."

Asher's eyes flicker with an emotion I can't quite identify. "Good, because I want you to have the best night possible."

"As long as you're there with me, I will."

The look he gives me melts my resolve, the intensifying tension between us making me aware of my suddenly shallow breathing and the fact that there's barely any space between us on the bed.

Reaching for me, he says, "I told myself I wouldn't touch you again until I've spoken to Ethan."

He leans in and presses his lips to mine, gentle at first. I feel his hand come up to cup my cheek and tilt my head slightly, deepening the kiss. It's as if the world falls away.

My hands come up to rest on his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breaths as he pulls away from me. "I'm so tired of waiting for the time to be right," he whispers, his voice rough with desire.

I feel a shiver run down my spine at his words, knowing what he means. My heart races at his words and his touch. I want this - him - so desperately. Ever since he told me he was going to talk to Ethan, I've been waiting for him. In fact, even before that, I was dreaming about being with him. With everything at stake, he's been so careful not to cross a line, except for the morning after our duet and kiss at school. So, seeing his resolve faltering now, watching him lose control is like throwing gasoline on a fire I'm constantly trying to keep contained.

The rain outside intensifies, pounding against the window, but I'm burning up as Asher and I fall back onto my bed, tangled in each other's arms.

We can't risk Ethan coming home early and finding us like this, yet I don't seem to be able to stop. I'm out of control.

And so is he.

He pulls his black t-shirt over his head before helping me remove my cream turtleneck sweater, leaving me in my short skirt and bra before falling back on top of me. He kisses me deeply, and I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him closer to me. He groans and rolls his hips against me, and I gasp at the sensation. His body is hard and hot against mine, and all I can think about is how much I want him. The music fades into the background as Asher's lips trail down my neck, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. I'm ablaze and trembling, desire a needy and hollow pit low in my belly as Asher's hands move over me, exploring every inch of my body. Months of holding back, years of pretending; it's like he can't get enough of me.

"I want you so much," he growls, his voice low and husky.

I trace my hands over his chest, loving the way his skin feels beneath my palms, revelling in the way he trembles lightly from my touch.

Asher's hands move from my thighs wrapped around his waist to push the fabric of my bra up, baring my breasts to him. He takes one of them in his mouth, savouring the nipple with tongue and teeth. His body between my legs and his lips against my flesh make me arch into him.

"Asher," I pant.

"We should stop," he tells me.

We should, I know. He isn't stopping, though, and I want this so much. He moves his mouth back up to my neck and nibbles at the sensitive skin there, sending shivers down my spine. He kisses me hard, his tongue sliding past my lips as he moves my underwear to one side and strokes me, urging me to move my hips against his hand. Hot sparks fly through me, my body ready to give in to the overwhelming sensations as I feel his fingers tease and stroke me where I'm wet and aching for him. Then, abruptly, I'm there - fireworks setting my body alight as pleasure crashes through me.

"I want to be inside you," he says, his voice heavy with need.

I look up at him, my heart pounding at the need I see in his eyes. My response is an eager nod and, as he slowly slides two fingers inside me, I gasp in pleasure; the sensation of being filled by him, even just like this, so indescribably good it's overwhelming. I stare up at him, not really seeing anything as my body clamps around his fingers like my life depends upon it. He bends down to kiss me again, his lips gentle as they move against mine. Slowly, he begins to move his fingers inside me, his thumb moving to circle my clit, heating me up and making me crave him all over again as he sends me closer and closer to another release.

The kiss becomes more passionate, his tongue moving with mine, mimicking the movement of his fingers inside me.

I reach down and unbutton his pants, pushing them over his hips, along with his boxer briefs.

His mouth travels down to my breasts. He clamps his mouth over my nipple, sucking on it, before moving to the other one and teasing it to the same state of hardness and heating my body up all over again.

At the same time, I reach for him, running my hand over the long length of him. He sucks in air as I stroke him, pausing a little to run my thumb over the tip, feeling the evidence of how much he's enjoying this.

My body is so wet and ready for his even as his thickness and hardness pulses in my grip, making me a little nervous about what's to come.

"I don't have a condom," he says in a pained voice.

His declaration leaves me frustrated. I settle for riding his hand, stroking him as I pant with desire against him. My heart thunders in my chest and, as Asher moves his mouth to my ear, the way he says my name coupled with what he's doing to me proves to be too much. In an instant, a second wave of pleasure crashes through me as he jerks above me, pumping his release into my hand.

I don't care about the mess we've made as he lowers himself down beside me, his breathing heavy, a satisfied smile on his face as he stares up at the ceiling.

A few minutes pass before I finally manage to get my body under control.

"I didn't even take your bra off," he says, turning to look at me, his voice heavy with regret.

I smile at him. "And I didn't even get your pants all the way off," I tell him.

We both look down at our almost naked bodies. Laughing lightly, he reaches for the tissues on my nightstand and starts working on getting us cleaned up. Once we're done, I pull my bra down and he pulls his pants and briefs up.

"I'm going to need to shower," he says, his voice all kinds of sexy with his post-sex voice.

"You can use mine." Leaning over me, Asher gives me a slow, tender kiss.

It's only the sound of the front door slamming that brings us back to reality. Asher springs off me as if I've burned him when we hear Ethan calling out to him.

"Ash, where are you?"

Checking the clock on my bedside table, I see Ethan is right on time. We had been so engrossed in each other that we lost track of the passing minutes. Neither of us even realized the music had stopped playing at some point. Launching myself off the bed, I start getting dressed.

"Fuck," Asher whispers, jumping off the bed and pulling on clothes at warp speed. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

I could make a joke about how we didn't do that, but the guilt written all over his face stops me in my tracks and makes my chest tight. We lost control, and as his gaze swings between me and the door to my room, and reality sinks in, I see the moment he regrets what we did. We need to talk to Ethan, and until we do, what we're doing... it's not right.

"Did you get my text? I'm car shopping. You coming or not?"

Asher shoots me a panicked expression as we hear Ethan's heavy footfalls coming up the stairs. Panic rises in my chest as I hear Ethan knock on Asher's bedroom door.

As soon as Asher has checked that both of us are dressed again, he opens my bedroom door and sticks his head out. "In here, Eth."

Checking in the mirror hanging on the wall, I smooth my hair down. My swollen lips seem to scream what we were doing, but hopefully Ethan doesn't notice. If he finds out about something between the two of us like this and we don't tell him first... well, I don't even want to think about that possibility.

"What are you doing in here?" Ethan asks Asher, his eyes narrowing in suspicion as he walks into my room.

"Studying," Asher says nonchalantly. He seems to have managed to shove his guilt down for the moment. Forget music, maybe he should become an actor.

My mouth goes dry. I can feel the weight of Ethan's scepticism as his gaze flicks between the two of us. Whatever he sees has his mouth turning down at the corner as he turns to his brother.

Ethan's voice is cold as he says to us, "You both look a little flushed."

Asher shrugs. "It's hot in here."

Our textbooks are out and thankfully open on my desk, but even as Ethan runs his eye over them, I don't think he fully buys that we were studying.

"Is Dad taking us?" Asher asks, packing up his books.

Ethan's gaze lands on my rumpled covers. "Yeah," Ethan says unhappily.

"I'll catch you later," Asher says to me, a blank expression on his face, before turning to his brother. "Are we going or what?"

After Asher walks out, Ethan looks at me and raises an eyebrow. "You were studying?"

I swallow. "We were."

We were trying to study before we became totally distracted. It's too easy where Asher is concerned. It's too easy to spend time with him and lose track of what is at stake. Now I'm left feeling guilty I didn't put a stop to things. Hollow. Because Asher would never forgive himself if Ethan had walked in on us.

With one final glance at the bed, Ethan walks out. Once they're gone, I collapse onto my bed and let out a breath. That was too close for comfort. Way too close.

***

On the night of the senior prom, my friends and I gather in the suite we reserved at the Bayview Hotel—the prom's venue—with two hairdressers on hand to help with our hair. We assist each other with makeup, complimenting each other's dresses: Kennedy's stunning silver gown, Lana's deep green dress that complements her dark hair, Briony's intricate beaded masterpiece with a flowing skirt, and my mid-thigh-length peachy-pink gown that highlights the best shade of my hair. As music blasts from a nearby speaker, we take turns snapping pictures—some silly, others serious—creating memories that we'll cherish forever.

Ever since the tickets went on sale just before the break, my friends have eagerly anticipated this event. Amidst the never-ending workload of our senior year and the pressure to maintain our grades for the perfect ATAR, tonight is a chance to let loose and take a break from the stress. Despite my initial concerns about derailing my friends' nights by going as a group, I'm glad we're spending this evening together.

Not only is it great to attend with my closest friends, but their chatter and excitement are loud enough to drown out some of my inner turmoil over navigating a group prom date with both Asher and Ethan involved. Asher has maintained his distance since our near-close call, and I'm torn between my desire to spend time with him tonight and my need to be extra careful not to reveal my true emotions.

Kennedy checks the slim white gold watch on her wrist. "The boys should be here any minute." I can feel the butterflies in my stomach growing stronger, unsure if it's from the excitement of the night or simply nerves.

Briony twirls in her dress in front of the full-length mirror, admiring her bare back. "I can't believe tonight is finally here, and it's already August."

"Mm," I agree, acutely aware of how fast the year is passing. "Does anyone else feel like we're closing in on exams and graduation?"

Lana shakes her head. "I can't think about the fact that in three months, we'll be done with high school." Briony, Kennedy, and I laugh at her look of horror, but our laughter is interrupted by a knock. The boys have arrived to escort us down to the ballroom.

Kennedy opens the suite door, and instead of us walking out, the boys pile into the room: Asher, Ethan, Kai, Mason, Dawson, Scott—Dawson's boyfriend—and two friends of Asher and Ethan who wanted to join our group. Since Lana and her boyfriend are currently on a break, he decided not to come. I catch Asher's eye, and he grins. That carefree grin is enough to turn my knees to jelly and make my heart race against my ribs. Just like the day of our parents' wedding, he looks both devastating and out of place in his tuxedo.

The urge to walk over and embrace Asher is so strong that I have to dig my high heels into the floor to resist. The heat in his eyes as he takes me in sends a wave of desire through my core. Almost every night, I've been dreaming about what might have happened between us had Ethan not come home after his driving lessons. I wake up a damp, needy mess, my hormones so out of control that I'm beyond frustrated.

And more than ready.

With Ethan, I was never prepared to take the next step. With Asher, the desire to move forward occupies my thoughts all too often.

"You look gorgeous, Lilah," Ethan says, walking over to me and pressing a kiss to my cheek. As he pulls away, I notice his eyes are slightly glassy, and I catch a faint whiff of alcohol on his breath. It seems Ethan has been drinking.

I try not to frown, but it takes some effort. The warmth and affection currently in Ethan's eyes are things I used to live for, but now they twist my stomach into knots. I don't want him to feel that way about me anymore. I want him to think of me as a friend or a stepsister because that's the only way Asher and I will have a chance to be together.

Taking in his neatly brushed hair and tuxedo, I say, "You look great, too."

"Thanks." He looks pleased. "We're going to dance tonight, right?"

As I nod in agreement, a feeling of unease starts to creep in.

This sensation grows when I see Ethan studying Asher as he takes his turn to greet me, enveloping me in an embrace that is simultaneously too much and not enough. As soon as someone calls out to Ethan, Asher dips his head and whispers in my ear, "You look gorgeous. I don't know how I'm going to keep my hands off you."

His minty breath caresses my skin, and the scent of his Apollo aftershave engulfs me, causing me to flush and shiver at the same time. I close my eyes for a moment, savouring the closeness.

However, Ethan's attention doesn't stray for long, and Asher releases me, taking a step back. With Ethan under the influence, there's no telling what drama might unfold tonight, amplifying my unease.

A flurry of compliments, cheek kisses, and hugs are exchanged with the rest of the guys, followed by more photos. Finally, it's time to go.

We descend the grand staircase to the ballroom, where the DJ is playing tunes that we all know and love. The dance floor is busy but not yet packed. We decided to arrive an hour late, so while it's lively, there's still room for more students who will join later. Those who are already here are dressed in their finest attire, and their energy as they dance is contagious.

Kennedy squeals, grabs my hand, and starts pulling Kai and me toward the dance floor. I laugh as Kai and I take turns spinning her around, and we're quickly joined by Dawson and Scott, Mason and Briony, and the rest of the group. We all jump around to the music, laughing and joking with each other. Asher and I dance close together but not as a couple, and I'm having a good time until Ethan makes good on his word and asks me to dance.

To avoid creating waves, I accept Ethan's offer to dance, but I'm uncomfortable with the attention he's giving me. I need to be careful not to give Ethan false hope while also not drawing too much attention to my feelings for Asher. The whole situation is awkward, to say the least. Thankfully, he seems to have laid off the booze for now. Prom. We just need to get through this evening and Asher will talk to his brother.

As I sway gently in Ethan's arms during our second dance, a commotion at the entrance catches my attention. Latecomers to the prom are causing a stir, and when I see who it is, my heart sinks. The last thing I need tonight is Ainsley stirring up drama, which must be her intention by bringing Asher's ex-girlfriend to prom with her. My eyes dart to Asher, who is shaking his head at the duo, a dark look on his face.

Ainsley, clearly enjoying the attention, notices our group's gaze and flashes us a smug smile. She gives a dainty wave before pulling her—I'm guessing 'date?'—for the evening onto the dance floor.

Maddie follows Ainsley willingly, but not before locking eyes with Asher. Even from this distance, I can see the sadness in her expression. Great, I guess she isn't over her breakup with Asher. The thought makes me more than a little uneasy, adding a new layer of tension to an already delicate situation.

Ethan, on the other hand, doesn't appear overly bothered when I glance at him. Shrugging, he says, "She can bring whomever she wants."

I try to focus on the dance, but my mind can't help but wander, wondering how this unexpected twist might affect the fragile balance we've been maintaining. Is Ethan holding out hope that Asher and Maddie will get back together? And did Ainsley bring Maddie here in an attempt to cause trouble?

That's such a naïve question. Of course she did.