We make it through the last of the M surnames before the teachers call it quits and dismiss us. After a full day of sitting and listening to music, all of us are restless and ready for fresh air and activity. Instruments in hand, my friends and I hurry to our lockers.

Just as I'm grabbing my bag, some of the girls in Davina and Ainsley's crew glide down the hall, looking at me, snickering and then singing, "If it's war you want, it's war you've got."

Maybe they are trying to make fun of me, but it's kind of cool hearing people singing my lyrics. I beam at them, pretending they're complimenting me.

The smile slides off my face as soon as they pass, and I see Asher walking behind them. His dark gaze collides with mine, causing the air to rush out of my lungs. There is plenty of distance between us as he passes me, but it doesn't feel like enough. His eyes remain on me the whole time, until Kennedy appears at my elbow, giving me an excuse to wrench my gaze from Asher's.

"Hey, you need a ride?"

It isn't quite as hot today as it has been since school started, but I won't turn down a lift. Before I can agree, however, Ethan joins us, his schoolbag hitched over one shoulder, his guitar hitched over the other. "Hey, Ken. Lilah, I'm walking home. You up for it?"

I look at Asher's still retreating back.

"How's Asher getting home?"

"He has a driving lesson. His test is in a couple of weeks."

Hopefully, that means he'll be out of the house more.

"What about Ainsley?" I ask, looking back at Ethan.

He frowns and looks away before his eyes flick back to my face. "She's making her own way home."

"I offered Lilah a lift," Kennedy tells him. "But the offer stands for both of you."

"Thanks, but I'm kinda hoping Lilah and I can talk."

My stomach plummets as I take in Ethan's serious expression.

"Suit yourselves," Kennedy says, raising an eyebrow in my direction before waving then walking away.

"What's up?" I ask Ethan as we head out of school together, carrying our bags and our instruments.

While Asher is intense and broody, Ethan is usually light-hearted and charming. Seeing him this tense is mildly perturbing.

He's quiet for a moment and then he says, "You shouldn't have done that."

I'm so stunned, I don't say anything for a full second. "Done what? Sing about Asher?"

"Do you really think he needs any more ammunition to throw at you or at us? You know he already drives me crazy by hanging around when I'm trying to chill with you."

I stare at him as we continue walking, nearly tripping over my feet. "You really believe I've made it worse? Asher's going to do whatever the hell he wants because that's who he is."

And because you let him treat you and me both this way, I don't say.

"My song won't change anything."

"Maybe, but what about the rest of it."

"Rest of what?"

"The rest of your song. You know."

"What on earth are you talking about, Ethan?"

"I meant the stuff about me breaking your heart," he mumbles.

"Why?" I ask, irritation prickling along every one of my nerve endings.

I expected confrontation with Asher over my song. Not Ethan.

"I've told you more than once Ainsley is insecure when it comes to us."

"I don't care about Ainsley. And my heartbreak shouldn't make her feel insecure. God, Ethan. I can't believe you're even-"

"That's not..." he blows out a harsh breath, shaking his head, clearly frustrated. "Nothing I say is going to come out right. I meant...what about me?"

I stop walking and put down my guitar on the path, crossing my arms. "What about you?"

"Don't you think it hurts me to hear that I broke your heart?"

"Oh my God, Ethan. Are you kidding me? Surely, it wasn't an epiphany."

"It wasn't. But..."

I want to blast him, but I shut my mouth and keep it shut. We've talked about the breakup and the reasons for it briefly since it happened, but never in detail. Nevertheless, he knows how much he hurt me when he ended things, and he has no right to tell me what I can or can't sing about.

"But what?" I press.

"Breaking up with you was the worst," he says quietly, pain streaking through his gaze. "It's bad enough dealing with my feelings about it. I guess I just want to forget that. And I want you to do the same."

I throw my hands up. "Why do you think I'm dating Luke?"

Ethan's face reddens as his jaw ticks, and I want desperately to know what is going through his head. When we dated, I always knew. I was always good at feeling out his thoughts, drawing out his ideas, reading his moods. That isn't the case so much these days.

Does Ainsley know him like that now? Does she read his thoughts and guess his feelings the way I used to?

"I never wanted to break your heart, Lilah. You know that, right?"

"I do."

"I would have rather done anything but that."

"I know."

There isn't a malicious bone in Ethan's body, but what can I say? Even if he didn't want to break my heart, he did. And Asher is the reason. We can't go back; all we can do is move on. Move forward. It's just hard when we live together and I see him all the time – when I still remember how it feels to be with him, to be loved by him.

"Singing about stuff is therapeutic for me."

"In front of the whole school?"

"Really, the song was supposed to be about Asher, not you."

He doesn't look any more pleased by that thought.

"C'mon. Let's go home," I say before we can argue anymore.

We remain quiet as we walk. When we reach the long driveway leading to the Cassidy mansion, Ethan puts his hand on my arm while staring at me intensely.

"You don't need to make Asher your enemy."

"I didn't make him my enemy, Ethan. He did that all on his own."

"He gets confused as to what's right and what's a figment of his imagination."

"And I'm the one who suffers for it more than anyone else."

"I know," he says. "And it's not fair, but life isn't fair, I guess. His mum really fucked him up. I know you hate him. I know he deserves it. But no one deserves what she put him through. She stained his soul, Lilah."

No one would deny Asher's soul is dark, and I know he had a messed-up childhood. The emptiness and hopelessness in his song had been all too real. That doesn't mean he gets a free ride to treat me like shit.

"Jesse, M.O.D. and me. That's what he has. He's determined to hang onto us. It's as if...like if he doesn't hold onto us with everything he has, he's going back to that shithole – back to a living hell."

My relationship with Ethan was something Asher felt threatened by. I've always known that. Still, it doesn't explain why he hated me from the very start of my relationship with Ethan. I doubt I was a threat then. And how can I be a threat while Ainsley isn't? It makes no sense.

"He's never an arsehole to Ainsley," I remind him.

"She isn't you," he says softly.

We stare at each other for a moment before I pick up my guitar and walk inside. Because what is there to say to that?

It shouldn't matter whether she's me or not. She should have gotten the same royal arsehole treatment I'd been given.

"I'm going swimming," I tell Ethan before running up the stairs.

Might as well make the most of Asher not being around. No matter what his past and history are – I know it's dark – Asher is poison to me, his presence toxic. Having sympathy for him, softening my approach as I did once will only leave me blindsided when he comes at me next time.

"Can I join you?" Ethan asks, bounding up the stairs, joining me on the landing.

I shrug. "No more talk about my song?"

He shakes his head. "And no more talk about heartbreak."

"Deal."

At least Ethan and I are done hashing things out for now, but I'm sure Asher will have something to say about my performance. Because I meant every word of my song. I'm over making amends. If anyone is going to wave that white flag, it has to be him. Until then, it is war or avoidance.

And right now, I choose the latter.

***

Every weeknight since I've moved in with the Cassidys, Jesse, Mum, Asher, Ethan and myself eat our evening meal together. Either at the large dining table in the dining room or on the patio. It is probably Mum and Jesse's attempt to blend us together as a family. One Asher has fought and succeeded in getting out of several times.

Tonight, however, he sits in the dining room when I enter, twirling his fork between his thumb and forefinger absently. Ethan sits beside him, offering me a small smile when he sees me.

I eye the two brothers nervously before taking my seat across from them. Asher leans back in his chair and glares at me. He reminds me of a ticking time bomb, ready to go off at any moment. How long will it be until he responds to my threat of war?

"Dinner smells good, Mum," I tell her, looking down at the roast lamb and vegetables on my plate.

"Thank you, honey. I wanted to do something special to celebrate the auditions."

After Ethan and I finished swimming, Mum asked me how the auditions went. I told her they'd gone really well. Since she was busy in the kitchen at the time, and didn't want my help, she doesn't know the details. Now, it seems certain she wants to discuss them over the dinner table.

Jesse puts his hand on top of my mother's, looking at her with an adoring smile on his face. "It looks sensational. I can't wait to eat."

"Let's dig in, then, shall we?" Mum suggests, looking pleased. She smiles at Asher and Ethan before adding, "And I want to hear all about everyone's auditions."

Ethan's mouth pulls down at the corner, his gaze darting between Asher and me. "They were fun. We all did well. I think we impressed the judges."

Jesse grins at me. "Ethan told me your song was excellent."

"He did?"

I look at Ethan, unsure as to why he'd say that when he'd seemed so upset by my song earlier.

Ethan shifts in his seat. "Why wouldn't I? It was, Lilah."

Asher's gaze bores into mine as he asks Ethan, "Did you also tell Dad that she declared war on me in front of the entire senior year?"

Of course he's trotting out my declaration at our family dinner. He is the master at firing shots, and he's determined to screw me over any chance he gets.

Mum's eyes widen. "You declared war on Asher?"

"Not exactly."

Jesse studies me with something akin to concern as he waits for me to elaborate.

"Lilah's song was amazing," Ethan says, jumping to my defence. "She wrote about her frustration and feelings over our blended family. It was revealing but poignant."

"Poignant," Asher repeats, shaking his head at his brother as if he's disgusted with him.

"The judges really liked it," I say, ignoring Asher. "I played the song for Kennedy before the showcase. She said it was my best song yet, and I should put my best foot forward if I wanted to get into the showcase. That's what I did."

"And Kennedy is such a great judge," Asher says sarcastically.

"She is and you know it," I snap. "Just like you know it was a great song."

Asher looks to Jesse. "You talk to me about trying to get along and make an effort at this blended family thing, and yet she's telling everyone at school we're going to war. You have two different standards, it's not right."

"It wasn't exactly like that," I tell Asher, holding his gaze. "Don't pretend as if you're hurt."

He leans forward. "You said it was your best song so you had to go with it, proving you're willing to throw your new family under the bus for a spot in the showcase." He nods. "Nice to know family loyalty means something to you."

"That's rich coming from you! You've made it obvious to everyone at school you hate me."

"Yeah, but I don't go around singing about it."

"We'll get rid of the bitch one day, brother. Remember that song?" I throw at him through gritted teeth.

Asher smiles. A smile that is every bit as ugly as his soul. "That was private. I didn't go and sing it in front of every senior at the Academy"

Jesse brings his hands down on the table loudly enough to startle both Asher and I out of our glaring match. "That's enough, both of you. We are family, and there will be no war. No hating each other. Family is supposed to have each other's back. We need to get used to supporting each other. Am I understood?"

I meant every word that I said, and Asher started all of this, but I'm hardly going to sit here and say that to Jesse.

"No more declaring war on each other in public, okay?" Mum says to me. "We want to see you getting along because we booked our tickets to Tahiti today."

At this announcement, Jesse once again covers her hand with his.

"Our honeymoon is booked," Jesse says. "We will be gone for most of the April holidays. Asher, you'll be eighteen, and Ethan and Lilah you'll be seventeen and a half. There's no reason the three of you can't stay here without supervision if you're willing to work together and take care of the place. Of course, if you're about to kill each other, we will organize for someone to babysit our children."

The three of us shake our heads quickly. Honestly, I'm not looking forward to staying home with Asher and Ethan for two weeks, but none of us want a babysitter. Not when being home alone will yield so many options. I can see the thoughts running through Ethan and Asher's heads about the potentials.

Just as I think it, Ethan asks, "Can we have a party?"

Jesse looks between Asher and myself. "Providing there's no more declarations of war around here, I'll consider it."

Ethan's face falls. "You mean, my social life is dependent on these two getting along?"

His disappointment is so overwhelming, I can't help but snicker, and when I look at Asher, I see he is grinning too. Until he catches my eye. Then he just stares at me until I look away.

"So, you think you'll get a good partner for the duet?" Mum asks me.

"I think so. This could be a turning point for me."

She smiles. "I'm glad, Lilah."

So am I. It was hard to get up and sing my heart out, hard to put into words how I felt exactly, but it was worth it.

It be worth it.

Once I get a decent partner and land a spot in the showcase.