"Can you believe it?" I ranted to my best friends over my favourite hazelnut frappuccino from starbucks. After school it was our usual spot to hang out and well, bitch about people too. "Miller had the fucking nerve to say that to my face!"

"Calm down, Sila," Penny shook her head. "Boy be mad cause he ain't getting any."

"She's right," Darna smirked taking a huge sip of her Frappuccino. "Besides, I think you got another boy to fantasize about."

I flushed and let out a nervous chuckle thinking about Dylan. "No. I have to worry about my application to Harvard as well."

"Ugh," Penny groaned twitching her nose. "My mom wants me to go to community college and Micah goes to one, so I guess I got nothing much to worry about."

I nodded and then turned to see Darna looking very pale. "What about you? Have you thought about what you want to do after school?"

For a minute Darna seemed taken aback by my question but then she snorted a laugh. "A stripper, duh."

Penny and I let out a laugh, classic Darna. But the way her face fell implied there was more to it than her just being herself. 

Glancing at my watch, I realized it was half past three. "Oh shit, I am sorry guys I have to go. I promised mom I'd help her with the laundry today."

Darna and Penny groaned in disappointment. Giving them both kisses and hugs, I grabbed my jacket to run out of the coffee shop. My house was only few blocks away so it wasn't a problem to actually walk home, although generally Penny always gave me a ride home on her electric bike. 

The October sun hit my face and I winced at how hot it actually felt. As much as I felt sad walking home by myself, the next thing I saw wiped away all my disappointment. 

Dylan Yang. Just standing there, with his eyes glued to his phone like he had been waiting for me. I mean that's getting my hopes too high, but a girl can dream right? Or maybe it was a sign that it was my chance to talk to him. 

I gulped as butterflies fluttered inside my tummy walking up to him. The closer I got, the more I realized how tall he was. "Hey," I choked out squeakily and I cringed at myself. 

Dylan raised his head to look at me and I wasn't sure if he smiled or not. "Oh hey Sila."

HE KNEW MY NAME. Ofcourse, he knew my name, I am such a fucking idiot. I've only spent the last two years in the same class as him. 

"What are you doing here?" I asked trying not to sound too excited. 

"Oh I am just waiting for my girlfriend," he said looking back to his phone. My heart shattered, broke like it had been stomped on. Why didn't anyone fucking tell me he had a girlfriend?

"Girlfriend?" 

Dylan looked away from his phone and finally his eyes met mine. My throat went dry with that intense eye contact. "Yeah, she doesn't go to our school."

"Oh, right," I replied glumly, my disappointment probably way too obvious. "I'll see you around."

Turning at my heels, I almost ran back home. Well, there went my hopes of ever being with Dylan. But fuck that, who needs a guy? I had more serious shit to worry about. 

-

"Sorry I'm late mom," I apologized as soon as I got home. Mom was in the kitchen baking my favourite blue berry pie. 

"Its okay honey," she kissed my cheek. "I had an idea you'd probably be hanging out with Penny and Darna."

I nodded and inhaled the scrumptious smell filling the air. "What's the pie for?"

"For you," mom beamed at me. "I know you are working hard to get into Harvard and your Dad and I want you to know we are proud of you."

I felt teary eyed and threw my arms around her. My parents had always been so supportive of my dreams and I was their perfect daughter. They hadn't be too happy about me dating John Miller so I guess they had been the most relieved when they found out I had broken up with him. 

"I am going to get changed," I said running upstairs to my room. I had to call my friends and let them know about my encounter.

But before I could even text them first, I saw a couple texts from Darna and Penny in our whatsapp group.

Penny: WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!
Darna: SILA! Have you seen this?!
Penny: GIRL. you okay??!
Penny: ???
Darna: SILAAAAAA

My heart started to race slightly worried what they were going on about. 

I typed a reply quickly,

Sila: What guys? What's going on?
Penny: Oh shit you have no idea.
Sila: What? You guys are scaring me.
Darna: Honey, you need to sit down. 
Sila: GUYS CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Penny shared an instagram link and my fingers shook trying to click on it. A part of me thought they had found out Dylan's girlfriend before I had, I mean they were as good as some undercover agents when it came to stalking online. 

But what I saw, completely ripped me to shreds.

A video played before my eyes, me in John Miller's bedroom, undressing and making out with him while he pushed me down on his bed. It was all there. The slap that came next while I resisted him. 

Tears were streaming down my cheeks, my hands shaking, knees trembling as I noticed it already had thousands of views. Comments were flooding in, all of the people from our school. 

-Hahaha slut.
-And she acted like a saint.
-Whore.
-That's all she's been hiding underneath.
- Miller you almost scored with virgin mary.
- Sila Sabanci is a slut. 

I was choking on my tears and I couldn't breathe. It felt like their words were crawling on my skin like bugs and there was nothing I could do to scratch them off. 

Penny's face lit up on my phone but I had no strength to talk to anyone. I let it ring as I stared at her caller ID. 

John Miller's caller ID lit up next. Why the fuck was this prick calling me? It was probably him who leaked the video. 

Angrily, I answered the phone. 

"What the fuck do you want?" I choked through my tears, my hands still shaking. 

"Sila, I swear to God i dont know who put that up," I heard his trembling voice at the other end. For a second I believed him with how sincere he sounded but he was a dick and actually capable of something like this.

"Go to hell, Miller! I can't believe you would fucking stoop so low!" I cried and I cried clutching at the hem of my shirt trying to contain my anger, resentment and hurt. 

"Sila, I am coming over. I swear I didn't do this!"

"Fuck you Miller. I hate you, I hope you fucking die!"

"Please, Sila hear me.."

I didn't wait for him to finish, disconnected the call and threw my phone across the room. It hit the wall and the screen probably shattered but I couldn't care less. My life was over and I would rather be dead.