(disclaimer: this chapter includes spoilers for Now or Never!)

"Okay," Kenny called out to the crew, moving to stand behind the camera. I took a breath, trying to calm the nerves I had been feeling; last-minute, Kenny changed up the schedule, so instead of filming my scenes with Owen today, I was filming with just Charlie; we were about to shoot our final scene in the entire show, the kissing scene. Normally, I wasn't really phased by kissing scenes; I'm an actress, after all, this is my job; but I haven't been able to stop thinking about the other night in his car, if I was so conflicted over a kiss on the cheek, I'm not quite sure how a real kiss will make me feel. "Let's take it from Elena walking down the stairs," I nodded, moving up the steps, "alright and action!"

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"Hey," I greet Charlie, doing Elena's signature nervous tick, pulling on the sleeves of my sweater; Charlie turns to face me from the spot he's sitting on the steps, his eyes wide.

"Elena," He greets, promptly standing up from his seated position, "what are you doing here?"

"I couldn't sleep," I shrug my shoulders, stepping closer to him, "what are you doing here?"

"Just thinking," He shrugged; I nodded in response; silence falling over the two of us for a moment; this scene was pretty big for both of our characters; we're finally able to touch, the boys didn't disappear; all of the feelings they've been bottling up basically the entire season are about to be shared.

"I have something I want to tell you," We both say simultaneously; I am honestly impressed by how in sync that was.

"You go first," Charlie offers; I smile gratefully at him, taking a nervous breath; at this point, I wasn't sure whether the nervous breath was because it fit well with the scene or because I was genuinely nervous.

"I like you," I blurt out the way the script asked me to; Charlie opens his mouth to respond, but I cut him off, continuing my character's rant. "From the moment our eyes met that first night in the studio, I knew you would be special to me, and I denied it for a long time, but I can't deny it anymore." I think over the lines written out on the script for me. I almost say them, but then I think back to a conversation I had with Kenny the other day; he told me adlibbing was always amazing in confession scenes; it made the person you're working withs emotions more genuine. "Luke, I have never been the kind of girl who can't stop thinking about a guy, and to be quite honest, I never thought I would be one of those girls until I met you." I adlib, just as I expected; Charlie's eyes widen even further, not expecting the unrehearsed lines, "And I know this sounds crazy, and we would probably never work out, but I've tried everything, and I can't stop liking you." Once I've finished my rambling, I stare down at my hands nervously, "and I know you probably don't feel the same way; I just needed to tell you." Charlie stays silent for a moment, just like he was supposed to; our goal is to have fans on the edge of their seat during this scene; a few seconds later, I feel him place his hand on my cheek, guiding me to look at him. I resist the urge to furrow my brows in confusion; we had never rehearsed that; I guess I'm not the only one adding things to the scene.

"El," He mumbled, a light smile taking over his face, "I never thought something or anyone could make me happier than music, but you showed me there is more to life than just the band and performing. I really like you, and I don't know what the future holds or why things changed, but I do know that I want you by my side throughout all of it." I close my eyes, acting as if I was thinking over what he just shared with me, but in reality, all I could think about was what we were about to do; this is going to change everything, "El?" He asked; I connected my eyes with his once more; Charlie glanced between my lips and my eyes, and I nodded, allowing him permission; Charlie leans in, I can tell in his eyes that he's just as nervous about kissing me, but I know it's not for the same reason as me. After what feels like an eternity, he finally crashes his lips against mine; I smile into the kiss, moving my hands, so they ran through his hair. I've had quite a few onscreen kisses throughout my career; most of them were awkward and uncomfortable; having to kiss someone random, with a bunch of people watching is not fun, but it already felt different with Charlie; everyone else fell away, it was only us. After about a minute, we pulled apart, breathlessly leaning our foreheads against one another's.

"Was that okay?" Charlie asked; I chuckled lightly in response, wrapping my arms around his shoulders; just as the script instructed, Charlie lifted
me off the ground slightly, hugging me back.

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"And, cut," Kenny yelled; I pulled myself out of Charlie's arms; both of us staring at each other with wide eyes; Charlie goes to say something, but I cut him off.

"Um, I need to grab something from my trailer," I announce, loud enough for Kenny to hear also; before either of them responds, I rush off the set and head towards the lot where all of our trailers were parked. I slam the door shut once I enter, throwing myself onto the couch.

"Aubrey?" a familiar voice calls out, knocking their fist lightly against the door, "are you okay? You looked upset." I place my head into my hands; no, I wasn't okay, this wasn't supposed to be happening, I wasn't supposed to be feeling this way.

"Bree?" Another voice called out; my head shot up at the familiar voice, "we're coming in, okay?" The door creaks open, and Jeremy and Carolynn walk-in hesitantly; both of them instantly frown at my expression, promptly moving to sit on either side of me.

"I'm fine," I reassure them; I straighten my posture, plastering a fake smile onto my face.

"Bree," Jeremy mumbled sadly, "We just wanna help." I nod; honestly, if I had to spill everything to someone, I'm glad it's Jeremy and Carolynn.

"I like Charlie," I mumble sadly, running my fingers through my hair; Jeremy and Carolynn both share a glance, their eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Can I tell you guys something?" I ask them both, "you have to swear it stays between the three of us."

"Of course," Carolynn reassured, squeezing my hand reassuringly; I take a shaky breath, trying to think over how I was supposed to say this.

"Charlie and I aren't actually dating," I blurt out, "Kenny and our management made us, for publicity for the show; I hated it at first, but after a while, we became friends; and now," I pause, "I don't know, it's complicated." I glance between Jeremy and Carolynn, waiting for either of them to say something; their reactions weren't what I expected; both of them seemed pretty unsurprised by my confession.

"I knew it," Jeremy sighed after a couple of moments; my eyes widened at his response.

"W-what?" I stutter, "how?"

"C'mon Bree," He shook his head in amusement, "It was so obvious at first that neither of you was truly into one another; no one else in the cast doubted it, but I did." Of course, if anyone was going to see through our façade, it was Jeremy; he's engaged; he knows what real love looks like, "after a while though, the two of you got closer, and I pushed my theory aside."

"Wow," I mumble, staring down at my hands, "and you're not mad that I lied to you guys?"

"Oh my goodness, of course not," Carolynn exclaimed, "I know you didn't lie to us on purpose; you didn't have a choice." I smile gratefully at her, "now, back to your original problem; why exactly is it bad that you like Charlie?"

"It just makes everything harder," I admit, "it was hard enough faking this relationship when we disliked each other, but I think faking it and actually having feelings for him is even more difficult. It's hard differentiating what's real vs. what's all pretending."

"What if he feels the same way?" Jeremy asked; I shook my head rapidly; even if he did feel the same way, we couldn't be in a real relationship; what we have right now is good, but if we ever broke up, everything would be awkward again.

"He can't know," I inform them in a serious tone.

"We won't tell him," Carolynn reassured, Jeremy nodded in agreement, "and we're here whenever you need."

"Have I ever mentioned how much I love you guys?" I ask, wrapping the two of them into a hug; it felt nice finally having people to confide in; all of these new feelings are really frustrating and confusing, at least now I don't have to deal with them alone. I went to continue shooting the scene with Charlie a few minutes later, pretending the entire time that kissing him didn't phase me.

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I know I said I wasn't gonna be posting until after Christmas... but I wrote this last night and couldn't wait for y'all to read it🙈
Merry Christmas Eve my loves❤️