Four years it's a long time for someone to go away from the love of his life but I did it for her.

Just for her.

That's what I keep telling myself yet I don't believe it.

Why?

Now answer.

Dear Diary,

It is now four years without her.

My MayMay.

Being patient is a virtue that not everyone has. This is what Layla says when I talked to her before I left. I had to talk to them so that they could understand why I was leaving and where I will be.

But I didn't want MayMay to know, not yet. Until I am ready to see her and get back again.

I couldn't help but remember the letter that I had received from my former school asking me if I could come back as a guidance counselor.

I didn't know that Jason quit.

But I do remember him telling me that he didn't want to be a guidance counselor forever, as he has a dream to help abused, mistreated teens.

But what I didn't know was that I would get a surprise of my own.

A great surprise that I always wanted.

Four years have passed yet I regret leaving her even if it was what we both needed to grow without each other.

I needed to learn about Islam and also about being a Muslim.

Thanks to Jason for recommending to some of his friends who had taught him when he converted.

MayMay is lucky to have a father like him.

I just hope that I can get her to be my friend even if it will hurt more than anything.

Beggers can't be choosers, right?

Plus, Allah knows best for us.

Our present.

Our future and most importantly the people in our lives. I am so grateful that I got to learn about this beautiful religion of Islam.

Thank you MayMay for showing me the right way even though at that time it was haste for what I did.

I converted for her and now I am a Muslim because I want to be one.

The love for Islam and Maya made me a better person, hopefully.

I miss her.

Her pictures aren't enough for me, I need her to be mine.

To be in my future as my wife in this life and as well as Jannah.

In shaa Allah.

That's it for now, diary.

Signing off,

Roc.