"Why though mum?", my mum, Lisa, just doesn't understand what it's like living in her house. I didn't even have to ask why I'm not allowed, I know.

You see my best friend, April, is turning 16 and she's having a huge party. But because my parents think there will be drugs and alcohol I'm not allowed to attend. I'm so upset because she's my best friend! It's one of the worst feelings ever not being able to go.

When mum just sighs I storm off into my room, I turn on my stereo and lie down on my bed.

🎼 you think she's out of your league
And it plays on your mind
Look around, look around, look around
She's one of a kind🎼

I sigh as I listen to my favourite band, McBusted, and think about all the freedom my friends have yet take for granted.

The worst bit is, I want to do things. I want to see places and see things that everyone else sees! My parents, I don't think, understand what I feel, and every time they say no to something it's pushes me away from them. And it hurts me to think that.

Buzz buzz buzz

I reach for my ringing phone and answer it, it's April.
"Hey girl! Did you convince them?", she asks cheerfully. I frown.
"No", I say to her, eyes watering.

Now I know a lot of you think I'm over reacting but I've never had the teenage experience. I've never been to a party, on a date, I'm not even allowed to go to the shops with friends! So by this stage I'm considering running away.

"What?!", she exclaims in my ear, I pull the phone away from the sudden shock of her loud voice in my ear.
"Did you tell them that's it's your best friends party?", I sigh at her.
"No, I told them it's romeo and Julie's 100th year anniversary", sarcasm, in my opinion is the best reply to stupid questions. And my best friend happens to be the queen of stupid questions.
"Oh", she knows by this stage I'm joking.
"Of course I told them it's your birthday! They said to tell you that you may come over tomorrow", I sit up on my bed. At least I'm allowed friends over.
" I'll be there. Hey I gotta run", she sounds disappointed," love you!".
"Love you too", and with that the phone call is ended.

🚣🏼

Dinner in my house is always the same, well same routine, different food, thanks God.

Dad walks in just as mum is setting the table, and sits in his seat. I'm already sitting there because mums called me to help set the table but she's not actually letting me. They exchange small talk and by the time their finished were all eating dinner, dads talking about the weather while mums pretending to be interested. Mean while their ignoring me the whole dinner. I can't wait for the one day I'm included in the family decisions.

So when I hear mum yell," Ash! Come set the table", I moan. I hate the family dinner.

When I get to the kitchen how ever, dads already in the kitchen kissing mum on the cheek and saying bye. He rushes past me like I don't even excist.
"Set the table for two, dear", mum says sadly.
"Where's dad going?", by the look in mums face, it's not good.
"Uncle Joe needs him for something", she replies in a matter of fact voice.

Uncle Joe is my uncle from dads side of the family, he also happens to be my dads best friend. So most of dads spare time will be divided into the family or uncle Joe, sometimes both. I don't mind though, uncle Joe is a cool guy. Recently though he was diagnosed with lung cancer, it's the very early stages so they can attempt to remove it, but my uncle, being the stubborn man he is, refuses.

So because he is a single man, will call whoever, mostly my dad, to rush over to help him with something. Most of the stuff he calls for help with are things that he could do, but he loses his breath so easy that he can't.

"What is it this time?".
"He lost his puffer, can't breathe without it", mum looks upset, and at this point I don't know if it's because dads left, or uncle Joe could die without it. I'm so confused.

I don't respond, just sit down as, once again, mum has set the table for me.

We eat in silence, and it kind of makes me happy, all I have to do is put all the dishes from tonight in the dishwasher and I can go back to my room, mum doesn't attempt to talk to me much, I think she knows I'm upset about not going to the party.

The one thing I do like about my parents is their not the type of parents who will force me sit with them, in the family room or something, they allow me to spend most of my time in my room.

My friend from school, Rachel, her parents are that type of strict, but she is allowed to go out to parties or even the shop. All I know is she really doesn't like not being able to be in her room all the time.

The first thing I do when I get up to my room is get my clothes ready for a hot shower, and I'm having a long one.

Suck on that, mum!

I think to myself, I feel like I'm rebelling by saying I'm having a hot, long shower. I knows it's pathetic.

Only when I get to the bathroom door, I hear crying coming from my mums room. So i decide to be the loving daughter I am and check on her, but first I put my clothes in the bathroom, in the basin.

"Mum?", I say as I silently knock I on the door, opening it slowly. I hear mum sniff while I walk into her room, she is sitting on the floor, leaning up against her bed with tissues on the floor surrounding. When I say on the floor, I mean ALL over the floor. I walk up to sit next to her, then I lean my head against her shoulder.

"Are you okay?"
She just cries harder. And I pull her into a hug. Trying to think how to comfort someone, I'm honestly the worst in the world at this.

"Mum, what's wrong?", I'm looking at her now, the awkward hug I made is over.
"Your dad....", she's says before crying more, a loud cry escaping her lips.
"What about dad?", I say offering her more tissues.
"You never has time for us anymore!", I think about this, he's always with us? I don't dare ask this though, I know she won't like it.
" how about you have a hot bubble bath while I make some milo, movie night for you okay?", yes I know I'm giving up the bathroom. I'll have a shower while mum is watching movies.

"Okay", she says through sobs, seeing her in this state makes me want to cry.

I know I get really angry at my parents, but I do care about them. A lot. Whenever I see them cry, I want to cry, I jut act strong. So seeing my mum like this makes me realise, she may be a bossy human, but she is still a human who needs love and care.

Normally I rely on my dad to supply it to her, but he's not here is he?

Once mums bath is full, I set of to the kitchen to make hot milo for her, then make some popcorn and put it in the lounge room, mum will probably choose a chick flick from Netflix, so I just sit in the lounge room awkwardly, waiting for her to come out.

When she does though, I give her a quick hug and tell her about the lounge room, she smiles at me gratefully and then sits down. I smile at her and head towards the bathroom so I can have a shower, a long one. Mum won't mind, after all I did everything I could to comfort her. I'm gonna need one to relax.

Authors note 💟💟💟💟💟💟💟
So new book! I hope you like this one :)

Courtesy to VanillaCaramelLatte for the amazing cover!!

And thank you to hanginginclouds for helping me with names!!

I'm entering this chapter in JustCompetitions first Comp! Wish me luck 🙂

Hope you enjoy it :) xoxo