A/N
I have been leaving out on information here and there, since the last chapter. You'll soon find out why. Which also reminds me to inform all of you lovely readers, *stands on the desk and holds a mic* "this books is coming to an end"

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15th January2016

I have an appointment today. I'll find out the reason of my illness. I just need to figure out a way to escape from my grandmother who won't let me step out of the house with fever.

I can't tell her about the doubts I have. She'll be worried. So I called up my sister and informed her about everything. At first she was so mad at me for even thinking about it but later she realised all the symptoms were the same. She said she'd manage at home and I took a cab.

Here I am at the hospital waiting for my name to be called and my doubts to be cleared.

"Ms. Riya, come in. How are you feeling today?" The doctor asks me. He's always been so nice to me, Since the first day I walked in with a headache.

I smile at him and say "apart from the fever I'm just fine."

"Well. I went through the reports. I'm afraid I have a bad news" and even before he continued I knew what exactly it was.

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21st April 2016

I decide to write a letter to Rahul.

Dearest Secret Keeper,

This is probably going to be the last letter I'll ever write to you.
And when I meet to give this to you, it's gonna be the last time we'll ever meet.

Remember the day when I texted that I love you? You immediately called me and I sounded so nervous. You said "I knew" and it ended there. You never told me that day if you love me. Neither did you say you don't. I didn't want an answer either.

And remember the day when we met and I told you I had cancer and you simply laughed on it thinking I was joking? I remember this day. In fact I'll never forget it. It was the day we spent so much time together.

It had been a few months and doctors said I was recovering. 'Well, second stage is not so bad after all' they said.

But today I hold my records and I recall what the doctor said "I'm afraid I have a bad news. We thought you were recovering. But your cancer has grown bad. I'm sorry Riya. I feel so terrible to break this to you but you only have a few months left. Make the best use Riya. Medications won't work. Being a doctor, I'm supposed to give you hope but I know it's of no use in your case. Don't give up on medicines though. Miracles do happen".

When I showed the reports to you, you wanted an other check up. I got so irritated. Why won't you just take in the fact that I'm dying? Why would you make things so difficult for me?

You insisted that I inform at home. And when I did, my grandma broke down. Everyone had tears in their eyes. After my mom's death, this is the only time my grandma has cried. I'm worried about her. She has seen daughter pass away and now she'll have to see her granddaughter die too :( I'm worried about my brother. I wonder how that little guy will manage on his own now. Maybe my sister will take care of him. She has always been the strongest among the three of us. She'll be okay. Everything will be okay.

Mainly I'm writing this letter to tell you that I don't wanna meet you anymore. Don't text me anymore. Don't call.

I don't know how many more days I have, but when you remember or think of me after I die, I want you to remember the happy me. I don't want you to remember me like a person without hair, pale, skinny and mainly lifeless.

You will get a girlfriend and you'll be married someday. I had always feared that when you would invite me to your wedding I'd agree to come. And then I'd stand there looking at you, giving you the widest smile possible and pretend like I'm happy. I feared I'd still love you that day. But now I'm glad I wouldn't live to feel so terrible.

There's one last secret I want to tell you. I'm scared. I feel very scared Rahul. I don't know where I'll go from here, but I just want you to know that I'll be watching over you. I'll always love you.

Once you have read this letter, please respect my decision. Don't try to contact me. Don't even try to find out when I died. And if you find out, don't attend my funeral. Always keep me alive in thoughts. Think of me as the girl you met in the mall or as the girl you ate fries with at atta galatta, not the girl who gave you this letter.

PS:I love you so much that saying goodbye hurts.