The Training

It was an extremely hot day, and the sunlight was blinding.

Torchy and Polo, who's actual names were Gray and Will, were the lucky ones, seated comfortably on a shaded veranda.Removing his white hunter hat, Torchy uses it to wave up a breeze, cooling his sweaty face.

Torchy

'Well then Will, I suppose you're going to be your usual energetic self today?

Polo

'Now, come on Gray, you should know better than that!'

'Remember, I'm the technical one and will be leaving all that energetic stuff up to you and Dapper.'

Polo instantly realised his slip up and cringed at the thought.

'Oh shit.'

In what could only be described as an almost cowering voice, he whispered nervously into Torchy's ear.

Polo

'Oh, for god's sake Gray, don't tell Mr Fit that I called him Dapper, you know how he hates it.'

'Curse that little shit bag Laner. and his smart mouth.'

Torchy

'Don't worry, Will your secret's safe with me.'

Polo

'Oh my god, thanks Gray, you know what a stiff and tiresome, little f****** twat he can be.'

Relieved of that chilling prospect, he continued his rendition.

'Now as I was saying, I'm the technical one!'

'You know full well that science is my game, and that very soon I'm to have a B.Sc. with 1st Class Honours to my name.'

His attempt at being pompous was quite comical, and even he could not help chuckling to himself, before continuing.

'And in this capacity, I shall take full responsibility for the correct and proper operation of the Stop Watch, and the precise recording of all chronological data.

You see; it will be up to me to ensure that this most important appliance of human science is fully documented for posterity.

Humankind will never have to look back and wonder how the momentous endeavour to transfer academic education in the field was achieved, opening new opportunities to the young people we see before us today.'

Polo stood proud with his chest fully pumped, he was gesturing and excitedly waving his arms toward an imaginary audience, as if giving his graduation speech.

Torchy was laughing loudly at Polo's rendition, when a witty thought flashed through his mind, and he retorted excitedly. A huge grin stretched across his face, like the sun reaching through the clouds on a rainy day, and he shouted to get Polo's attention.

Torchy

'Hey Will, perhaps it should be a BA?

We all know silly poetry is your fame and very soon, you may have one or two other letters after your name!'

Polo, broken sharply from his rendition stood aghast, and Torchy was a little disappointed, seeing he was more than a little puzzled at his witticism, so he added.

'Since you seem to enjoy rhyming like a poet and obviously don't know it, you should be studying the Arts.'

'Will, Isn't it obvious'?

I guess he was destined, to never know if his wit had fallen on deaf ears, for their moment of humour was shattered, as the air was rent with the loud grumbling sound of a heavy vehicle approaching. Straining their eyes, they looked out from the shade of the veranda, through the heat haze, rippling above the surface of the playing field. In the distance they could see a truck making its way down the lane winding its way toward the pavilion. The truck sped into the gravel car park at the end of the lane and spun in a full circle to point in the direction of its approach. The truck's driver crunched it into reverse gear, and clumsily putting his foot on the accelerator he caused the truck to lurch backwards to the edge of the playing field. Serendipitously, it stalled and juddered to an uncomfortable halt. Simultaneously, the doors of the truck flew open, and the head of Dapper appeared popping out of the passenger's door, which was slowly followed by a red faced Joner appearing from the driver's door. They quickly disembarked and led by Dapper they made their way to the rear of the vehicle, an old ex-army troop transport. Upon reaching its rear, they unshackled and dropped the heavy metal tailgate, to clang loudly against the rear bumper. It made three eardrum-bursting peals, sounding like some age tortured bell, before rattling to an unsteady halt.

Polo turned to Torchy and said disdainfully.

Polo

'You know, there is a more appropriate use of the BA acronym you used, and it's got nowt to do with art!'

The comment aroused Torchy's interest.

Torchy

'There is?'

Polo

'Yes, it can be used to describe you know who.'

'Mr BA' over there or should I say, 'Mr Bad Ass, prancing around like some drill sergeant, giving out his orders.'

Torchy responded to the comment with an agreeable nod, and a wry smile.

However, as if in deliberate response, and antagonism to their cynicism, Dapper continued his performance.

By shouting extremely loudly, at the unseen passengers.

Dapper

'Come on me boyo's, time to get off the truck.'

From beneath the weathered canvas canopy, the muffled sound of grumbling could be heard. One of the passengers had farted, and in the hot confined space it was putrid, fighting to escape the stench, we rushed from beneath the canvas and leapt in a mess, from the tail of the old truck.

Laner

One by one, our feet hit the hard-sun-dried ground, and with each clumsy landing a cloud of dusty soil rises. It lingers in the hot still air, mixing with the stench that had pursued us from the truck.

Once on Terra Firma, we looked around for someone to blame, but no one owned up, they didn't need to, we all knew it was Tank. With the excitement quickly over, we began wandering about aimlessly, and looking at the parched grass, we wondered what was in store for us.

Being a bit of an irritating prankster (well alright that's probably a bit of an understatement), I was soon up to my tricks. Sneaking up behind my unsuspecting victim, I dug a knee sharply into the rear of Owl's leg, and right before my eyes he slumped toward the ground like an empty sack. However, Owl's retribution was swift and sure, as he kicked out viciously, sweeping my legs from beneath me, as he fell. I was soon to find myself, albeit momentarily, floating in the air with arms flaying like feather-less wings. I was soon in an uncontrolled free fall, and plummeting rapidly back to earth, the middle of my back took the impact, landing with a heavy thud square on a kit bag. The landing jarred me so much, that it rattled inside my head, and I gave off an audible gusting sound, as the air forced its way from my lungs.

As we lay together on the ground, Owl rounded on me, obviously intent on letting me know just how he felt.

Owl

'That'll teach you.

You cocky, little f****er.'

The words were spat vengefully from Owl's triumphantlips.

I was down, but no for long.

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