I haven't abandoned you pookies!! I am just buried in life atm </3

Y'all can thank the ppl who voted for extra trauma in the discord for this chapter <333 and my old friend Val who always had the most heinous headcanons for the old fic <3

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I trudged through a dark tunnel, squinting at the bright light shining through the distant opening. Water pooled at my sneakers, sloshing over my ankles with each step, seeping deeper into my socks. I fiddled with the drawstring of my hoodie, tightly clutching a paperback book in my other hand.

"Where are you going?"

I turned. Ichika stood in the tunnel, clutching her bear in her arms. Her back was turned to me, butI could tell by her voice she was smiling. My sneakers melted into stiff leather boots and my hoodie was replaced with a breezy cotton button-up. The manga in my hand exploded into hundreds of papers, blown out the tunnel exit by a crisp wind. The breeze carried the scent of sweet, freshly cut grass, and something metallic.

"Ichika?" I called. The tunnel dimmed as I moved away from the exit and toward the auburn-haired girl, who tilted her head to one side and pulled her bear closer.  Water streaked rusty trails down the damp brick walls, droplets plinking repeatedly into the puddles below. I knelt and laid my hand on Ichika's shoulder, turning her to face me. Right before I caught a glimpse of her smile, her body disappeared into a swarm of white butterflies. The flutter of their wings faded into a childish giggle as they scattered away and into nothingness.

I rose and scoured through the darkness, only to slip across the mossy floor. I plunged backwards into the puddles, pools of warm red flooding my vision. Bubbles left my mouth, rippling the surface of the thick red ocean. A reflection of Ichika leaned overhead. Her face was concealed with her fiery red frizz, but I saw her mouth curve into a cheerful grin.

'Remember, Promise!'

The voice didn't belong to her.

I snapped awake, shivering with cold. My sheets were damp with sweet, and my breaths were wheezing. I hacked and coughed into my elbow. Shuddering with exhaustion, I flopped back down onto my cool, sweaty pillow, and cracked my eyes open.

Sitting in the stool at my bedside, Yukko stared down at me, unblinking. Her hands were folded in her lap, and she looked still, silhouetted in the moonlight like a perfect doll.

I flung up in surprise. "Yu- Mama?"

"It's the middle of the night," she said. "What's the matter?"

My heart hammered against my ribcage. What the fuck? What the fuck! Was she watching me?

"I thought I heard a..."

Yukko cupped my cheek, stroking her thumb across my jaw. My voice wavered. "Nonsense," she sighed, airily. "I've been sitting here for the past two hours, and I've heard no noise loud enough to wake you. How can that be?"

"Then it's probably..." I swallowed thickly. "Because I've been sleeping so much during the day."

Yukko hummed, pushing my hair behind my ear, fingers brushing against my scalp. "Did you know, a loving parent can always tell when their child is doing unwell?" Her voice dropped into an acrid whisper. "What's causing you nightmares?"

I looked to her face, and immediately regretted it. Her piercing green eyes bore into me, unblinking. My voice failed me, as it felt like the air had been ripped out of my lungs. The cold air against my feverish skin made me shiver, as did her gaze, which I found myself unable to tear my eyes away from. Yukko shook her head with a sigh, stroking my cheek with her thumb.

"You're my greatest achievement," she said. "Of all of the children, you're the one I hold most dearly. That's why, when it comes to you..." Her petite pixie-like face leaned in until it was hardly an inch away from mine. "I can see everything."

Her words sliced through the air with a frightening truthfulness, and I knew for the first time, I was getting a glimpse into what I'd been feeling behind this woman all along. Frozen with fear and fever, I couldn't recoil as she wrapped her arms around me, nuzzling her chin in my shoulder. Her hug was warm and loving, her tone sweet and soft as a lullaby, but her words filled me with panic.

"Why did you call out to Ichika just now?" she asked. "Did you see something – Do you know something you shouldn't?"

Her question hung unanswered. My mind raced for an answer – for some way out of this. I couldn't think of anything – there were no answers, there was no plan, and there was no help. The hug grew so tight I could barely breathe. I struggled to push her away, but she wouldn't budge an inch. "Let go!" my voice, shredded from coughing, came out in a wheezy croak.

"Don't shout," Yukko soothed, with a voice that was overflowing with kind-hearted concern. It would've been less eerie if there was no concern there at all. "It's only me. Why are you afraid?" She sighed with a light-hearted disappointment. "Once they're out of the way, you'll understand," she whispered.

I looked at her, eyes wide with fear.

"Oh my... Didn't Poppy tell you?" Yukko hummed, stroking my hair. "They'll be gone before the week is up."

I wheezed and coughed and Yukko loosened her grip. I shoved her away and clambered to my feet, racing to the door. I managed to grasp the cool metal handle before the ground pitched and my vision swam. Yukko caught me before I hit the floor.

"Don't push yourself, Y/N!" she scolded, hoisting me over her shoulder with practied ease. I would've kicked and screamed, but I could not wrest away from the grip of exhaustion and sickness. Yukko set me down on the bed, and gently pulled the blanket high over my shoulders. "You can rest," she said. "Mama's here to take care of you."

Yukko hardly left my side, after that. She ensured I ate every meal – and when I refused, she'd snap. Sometime's she'd place her head in her hands and sob that she must be a bad mother. Other times, she'd topple the desk and shout and cry about how I was ungrateful. One time, she simply sat there, staring at me, until I agreed to eat.

She was an unpredictable whirlwind, and eventually, I learned it was less stressful to just play along.

There was no chance to meet with Poppy or the others. They'd be shipped out before the 16th, but what day? Before the escape? Had they planned to move it up? Or had they just given up?

I drifted in and out of consciousness for a week straight, though my condition seemed to otherwise improve. I no longer coughed or felt the chills of fever, but my days were plagued with unusual fatigue. I drifted deep into my dreams, searching for an answer – for the solution for the cipher, but more importantly, for some way to escape.

It was late one night when I drifted awake to a dark room. The medicine cabinets loomed pitch black in the shadows. The moonlight wavering through the clouds made it look like they moved. Then one of the cabinets called out to me. "Y/N...?"

I stared blankly at the ceiling. "Ah... I've finally lost it."

An aggrieved sigh filled the room as the owner of the voice emerged into the moonlight. It was not, in fact, a cabinet. I practically stared holes into the young girl across from me. "Ha...nnah?"

Hannah raised a finger to her lips, an urgent look in her eyes. She stepped closer, and opened her mouth to speak. Interrupted by clacking heels down the hallway, her eyes flashed wide. "You're asleep," she hissed, and dropped to her hands and knees, sliding silently under the bed.

The door to the infirmary creaked open.  I caught a glimpse of Yukko before shutting my eyes. I tried my best to slow my breathing and look peaceful. Quietly, Yukko approached my side. With a touch so gentle I could barely feel it, she moved my arm from beneath the blanket. My heart was thudding so heavily I was certain she could hear it.

Shut the fuck up! Shut! The fuck! Up! I pleaded – (it didn't work).

Carefully, Yukko rolled up my sleeve, I allowed myself to shift so my other arm wasn't folded at an awkward angle. You learn a lot when preparing for strict parents checking on you in the middle of the night. Yukko paused and waited for me to settle before continuing with my sleeve. Once it was rolled up to my shoulder, she stopped. I could feel her watching me, silently, for a few moments. I heard a bit of clicking and shuffling near my head. A moment later, Yukko gently took my arm into her ice-cold hands, and I felt a stabbing prick shoot up my upper arm.

...Fuck! Holy shit! Don't react. Don't react. The body processes pain differently when asleep so you wouldn't feel that – Since when do I know that? Ah, fuck, who cares! This bitch just put a needle in me!

What are the chances its medicine to help me get better? I wanted to slap myself in the face. God, Y/N, you sound like Poppy...

That doesn't matter! What the fuck did this woman just inject in my vein!?

"Are you awake?"

My heart all but stopped.

Fuck. I'm so dead.

What do I do? What the fuck do I do!

I grumbled weakly and rolled over onto my side. The shuffling and clicks resumed. Carefully, Yukko tugged down my sleeve, and the infirmary door closed. Her heeled boots tapped down the hallway and went up a floor. I finally released a breath.

The bed jerked from underneath. "Are you fucking stupid!" Hannah hissed.

I snuggled deeper into the thick winter covers, grumbling. "It worked out..."

Hannah slid out from under the bed and kneeled until her face was level with mine. "Don't fall asleep! I'll kill you!"

"Keeping a sick person from sleeping..." I mumbled, "You're a piece of shit..."

"Hey!" She smacked my forehead. "Incase your brain ain't working, you aren't sick! Not anymore. That woman is poisoning you. The tranquilizer she just gave you keeps you sluggish and tired.

"You're a spy, right?" I said, blinking tiredly. Jesus, whatever was in that needle was acting fast. To think I was wide-awake in panic mere minutes ago.

Hannah pursed her lips. "You're a freaking idiot, you know that? Sure, you have no problem tracking Yukko's location, but I've been following you around for months!"

I tilted my head sluggishly. "What do you know?"

"Too much," she muttered. "You're lucky I don't give a damn about whether or not you escape, else you all would've been long gone by now. Well, not you. You probably would've ended up on bedrest sooner."

"Why are you telling me?"

"Poppy's being a pain in my ass," Hannah muttered. "She and the others confronted me about the whole 'traitor' thing. They won't let me off the hook, so you listen here. This is all I'm going to do to help. I don't want to escape. If I'm going to die regardless, I'd rather do it here, not in the middle of some hellhole. Tell Poppy that when she stops by."

I watched the moonlight swirl on the ceiling. "How'd you end up working for Yukko?"

Hannah sighed. "She caught me at the gate when Sam was adopted. I offered her a deal. I'd do nothing but study to raise my grade as high as possible. I pushed studying on the younger kids, and I spied when she asked me to."

"About our escape... How much does she know?"

"I've told her you're having secret meetings, but that's about it. She has no idea how prepared you are to escape. I think she's just being cautious." She glared at me. "If I were you, I would cut it out with that other plant. Stop stalling and get out of here if you're going. Otherwise, just stay and live peacefully. At least you can be happy here."

I rolled over to face away from her. "Sorry," I said, fighting a bout of fatigue. "Only people planning on escaping can have input on the plan."

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Thanks for reading!! see you all soon... hopefully