Review of Together till Jannah by Ambivert_Amba

This is the story of Khalid and Anisa, two young people with almost nothing in common, forced together to be united in marriage. Join them on their journey of staying together till Jannah.

COVER 📘

This is really beautiful and I love the scene. The way it captured the sun setting, and your book being titled Together till Jannah, reminded me of the song 'Dusk to Dawn'.

Although, I don't sit well with the cover-maker's name on your book— nothing personal. But it shouldn't be, I get you're grateful, because she made the cover. But, It's like buying a book— hardcopy, and seeing the author write the cover maker name on the cover. But well, this is wattpad, so it's ok.

TITLE & BLURB 📘

Your title is nice and you went with the complex type which is very intriguing.

Your blurb is really interesting, I believe I have told you that before. It is well detailed and informs the readers of the type of sauce your book has cooked for them.

But I feel where you wrote

"But in all love will always win."

Would be better if you said

"Will love rise above all this challenges?"

In this way, you will still be keeping your readers hooked.

PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR 📘

This could use a lot more work.

So, instead of mentioning places where this was used wrongly or missing, I will just give you tips to help you next time.

📌 Use a comma to introduce a text.

📌Use a comma when a text follows a tag (they said, she asked, he replied.)

📌Always write your single "I" in capital letter.

📌Give space after a comma has been used before the next word. Same thing goes with quotation mark and periods.

📌Remember to use capitalization in the beginning of a sentence or text.

This was the errors I noticed in the first four chapters, it would help if you worked on it.

DESCRIPTION 📘

This could really use a lot of work. Most of your texts went on with "he said" "Dad asked" "I shrugged".

I don't know what any of your characters look like, I can't relate with them or their emotions, because it's words like this that helps your readers understand.

You should really work more on this part, don't just tell the readers, show them.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 📘

This was good enough. But it could have been better, good description is needed very well on this part, if you can work on your description more, your readers will be able to flow more with your characters. Show more if your characters emotions, their weakness, thoughts, this things help to create a good character/reader relationship. Make your characters memorable, that whenever your book cross anyone mind, they remember your characters and smiles cross their face.

OVERALL IMPRESSION 📘

Now, you should really work on the intro you gave in the first chapter of your book. It started with a text and I hold nothing against that, but first impression was all that matters and it was too plain, it was filled up with just dialogue tags and hardly showed any action. It didn't help that your chapters were too short that they would hardly be called a chapter, the first chapter of your book took up the whole screen of my phone, I was about to scroll down when I saw bold letters showing the author's note.

I feel you at the end of a chapter you should translate the Islamic words that was passed between characters to your readers, I am an Igbo girl, and I didn't understand any of the words that was passed.

If you don't want to translate, you could simply write the word in English and say

"Will you shut up!" Anisa spat angrily in her native language.

Something like that.

Beginning of Chapter 3, the scene took place in a university, at a lecture hall. At a place you said

My biology teacher

That should be lecturer. Also, where you wrote

Thank goodness school is over

It should be class, not school.

Also, I don't still understand why Anisa hates Khalid very much, you even said the thought of him makes a blood boil. There should be a reason behind that, because if she was "the most cheerful, fun loving girl in town" like you said in your blurb, there should be a reason behind it.

Also, you jumped certain scenes, one moment Anisa was asking Khalid why he was at her school, and he was telling her to get in the car. There was no scene that showed the action if her finally getting in, instead, it was her next statement that showed that, did she perform magic?

I went to the last chapter of your book and I was happy to see from improvement. It's nice that you learnt your mistake along the way and worked on it, but you should go back and work on the beginning chapters to not disculourage readers from reading further.

You have an interesting book going on, work on it, and you will have an even better book, keep it up.

         ***********************

This review was to help you and nothing more, wishing you the best.