Review on The New Girl(Lisa) by AnnDeePen

This book takes you through the life of Lisa. Running all her life, Lisa is left to find out what the future holds for her, will she keep running? Face her problems? To make it worse, she runs into the most arrogant guy she has ever met.

COVER 📘

Your cover is really beautiful and attractive. It's good enough to draw your readers in to your story.

TITLE 📘

The title is a befitting one as it says more on what your plot is about. I still think The new Girl would be just right, I don't think there is a need for Lisa in the bracket. You could just add the Lisa to your cover. But it's ok, no need to change it, your decision.

BLURB 📘

Your blurb is good and straight to the point, not telling all the details but just enough to draw your readers in. It could use a little spacing between each paragraph though.

DESCRIPTION 📘

You need to work more in this area. Not just in explaining the physical attributed that your your characters possesses but also their actions, their emotions, or the way their body reacted to a particular gesture or action.

When the JAKS walked into the classroom, the only description Lisa gave of them was

"group of guys who looked like actors I see in films."

That part and the fact that every girl around was trying to get their attention was what made me to know that, ok, this people are popular and handsome.

Nothing else, we didn't get anything else apart from that, also Lisa, the only thing Sean said about her was

"Her eyes looked gentle and behind it I could see worries. She was beautiful..."

That's all, also, it shouldn't be "and behind it" using the word "but" would be more appropriate.

You should go through your books and try to give your readers an understanding and a clearer image of their surroundings and things around them.

PUNCTUATION/GRAMMAR 📘

This area could use a lot of work, there is a limit some writers can handle of punctuational and grammatical errors. We all make mistakes at times, even I, I'm not perfect.

So I will point out the errors you make in a particular area and you can go edit the rest.

📌Not giving space after a comma. When writing and the comma is being use, we should always leave that space after the comma before the next word.

I am Sean,the leader of a guy group in my department.

I am Sean, the leader of a guy group in my department.

📌Not putting a comma, period, exclamation or question mark at the end of a dialogue.

"Did you hear what I said"
"Did you hear what I said?"

"Here we are guys" The aroma...
"Here we are guys." The aroma...

📌Ellipses are only three dot(...). When they are more than three it isn't ellipses anymore.

📌Other punctuational errors was putting a lack of commas where they should be, or putting a period where a commma should be, vice-versa.

Also, work on your grammars and try

"Seems I heard of it before..."

"Seems I've heard of it before..."

"Well, as you know before, I am Lisa..."

"Well, as you already know, I am Lisa..."

This wasn't much but was seen in some places, when editing, you should correct them.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT 📘

This was ok, but needs a little help. I think if you work more on your description, it would also help with this part, and your readers will get to flow and understand your. Characters more.

Now, coming to your characters, Sean, the school's Greek god. I think you should work more on how you introduced his character, I didn't really feel his character, he sounded too plain, I didn't get much from him. Along with his friends, all I got from them was

Ken said
Abbey replied

I feel you should let your readers know more about this people, why are they Sean best friends? Who is Sean more Closer too? The experiences they shared together? Their weakness(no character is perfect), this will help your readers connect more and understand them more.

You did a good Job on Lisa's part. We got her background from you and you even let the readers know why she went by Elizabeth Daniels, so good job on her part.

OVERALL IMPRESSION 📘

So here is basically me ranting about things I don't settle with or I am impressed with in your book.

I like the drama that you have planned out for your story with the whole JAKS and JACS and Lisa in between, I can predict lot of drama in the future, and who doesn't love drama?

The names in your book, you explained Lisa own because she was born in America. But Sean? Abby? Lola? Anne? Jenny? Ok, Jenny might have come from Jennifer. Since your book was based in Nigeria, I was surprised to be faced with names like this, since I know they aren't common names here in Nigeria.

I was also surprised at Lisa's behavior, from what I had gotten, she was in university not highschool, so why was she so surprised when the JAKS didn't greet her, Universities have about 300 students taking a particular course, so I don't think anyone is minding "the new girl" they are bunch of other new people too, it's not like she is the president daughter.

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This review is to help you and nothing more, wishing you the best.