someone once said this to me: "you look pretty when you fall but i want to see you grow. and i know you will. you are not falling leaves but falling seeds,"

–

THE BREAKING OF A CYCLE : I CAN & I WILL OVERCOME MY BATTLES

A beautiful sunset is like all the colors of the rainbow infused into one watercolor palette. Tints of the most vivid orange and pastel pink weaved under the light blue skies. For that one fleeting moment where my heart soaks in peace and magic of that brilliant sky - it's of calmness, healing, beauty and completion. It's me enjoying the moment. I remember I used to lament to myself whenever I saw sunsets or dusk and night falling because it meant the end of the day and usually that meant unaccomplished tasks and no time to do what I had to do because I always failed to do the right things at the right time. But I know now that sunsets must take place first for a season of change and new beginnings and to welcome sunrise (dawn) I go in my weakness to end the cycle of darkness and move into a higher place, ending my fear, un-accomplishment and every mistake/regret I've made. It is then that I can walk out of the darkness and step into the full glory of the light. "Sunsets remind me that no matter how good or bad the day was, it always comes to an end and that bad moments never last forever."

This is my RISE TO DAWN.

//

But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn,

which shines brighter and brighter until full day.

– Proverbs 4:18🌥️🧡

//

A/N: This is the end of 'RISE TO DAWN' - a very precious and meaningful journey to me once more. To my gems who made it to this very page, thank you from the bottom of my heart, for being a part of this most wonderful journey. Thank you for your precious comments and thoughts you've shared with me - for showing me a place where my words matter / make a difference. Thank you that in these short span of 2 years, you've taught me to live, love and laugh in different ways. It's been a pleasure writing this book, a pleasure knowing all of you. I love you all so much! I hope you've had something to gain from reading this. Below is my literal and figurative glossary of my chapter titles if you're interested, as well as my playlist of songs. I sincerely hope you'll check them out :D have a spiffing day/night ahead! <3

Final note: I wrote RISE TO DAWN as a book about myself, to myself & for myself - for the version of me right now; broken and weak. The days ahead are unpleasant and rough, filled with pain and uncertainty but I wrote this book as a way to give myself strength, the strength to persevere under any circumstance instead of always running away. Whenever I re-read this book, it fills me with strength to carry on a little more. It reminds me of my journey towards becoming a better person, towards living a better life in a better state from where I am now. The rise towards dawn is far and is never easy but I'm taking the courage to change. 

I began with the end in mind, moving from the beginning to the end → starting point: sunset + end point: sunrise. It's funny how most people usually think that it's the sunrise that symbolises new beginnings but I learnt a more important lesson this year. To me, 2022 is not a "sunrise year" but rather "a sunset year" (also mentioned in my bio). It's honestly been a year of cycles, of challenges, of hurt and pain, of imperfections, of sinking feelings, of plaguing darkness, of negativity, of melancholy and unhappiness for me this entire year. This journey truly begins from dusk/sunset before reaching dawn/sunrise.

- yours truly, Megan (2022)

//

PLAYLIST:

[full playlist on youtube found in external link!]

01. dear me - taeyeon (dear)

« there are things I wanna tell myself »

02. 11:11 - taeyeon (11:11,)

« like a strange flower that blooms between seasons

like the morning star that hangs between days

all of this, some day, will pass »

03. why - taeyeon (let)

« if the wind blows, good, good, good, yeah

everything that unfolds, great, great, yeah »

04. i'm the greatest (me)

« this is me, i'm the greatest

i will shine as i am »

05. reset - tiger jk, jinsil (begin again, new)

« i wanna reset, i wanna reset, i wanna reset »

06. pray - taeyeon (in)

« stay in me, baby now stay in me, so that i may convey my whole heart »

07. i - taeyeon (a, way, rise, again)

« past the long, long night, want to embark on the road for a trip again »

« moment I close my eyes, time stops. I rise again »

08. into the new world - girls' generation (new, way)

« into my new world »

« don't wait for a special miracle, there's a rough road

in front of us with unknowable future and obstacles »

09. paper plane - girls' generation (way, again, rise)

« hey, in the strong wind, sway

even if it shakes, on my way

even if we hit again, find a way »

« one more time, fly high to a higher place »

« oh, never stop, fly away... »

10. we rise - cotton candy (rise, way)

« when this moment passes, we'll rise »

« coming up, it's on

kick up and fly up

going on and on

in the end, my life, my way »

11. an unfamiliar day - chen (to, dusk)

« how far do I have to go to see the light?

how much longer do I have to go before it ends?

my endless steps

stop on this road and ask »

12. the sky - G.E.M. (dawn, way)

« breaking the cocoon, I fly towards a brighter tomorrow

if the path ahead is a long way to go, just look back to my past »

« the sky's the limit, my future is boundless »

« in this long and winding road

when I lonelily await the returning spring

when I hold my tears to myself

when everything goes against your wish

look at the blue sky – there's no limit »

13. ending credits - taeyeon (, comma / writing my own story,)

« forget about the past

I'll leave now

to find my story again »

« now, it's my new start,

my own ending credits »

//

glossary: literal definitions

dear - someone regarded with deep affection. dear friend

11:11 - special time to make a wish

let - to allow something to happen or someone to do something

me - myself, oneself, your own person

begin - to start something, do first part of something

again - another time; once more

in - expressing the situation of something that is or appears to be enclosed or surrounded by something else

a - one, singular

new - beginning anew and in a transformed way, something

way - a road, track, or path for traveling along; a method, style, form or manner of doing something

, comma - a comma indicates a smaller break; separates words, ideas, or phrases within a sentence

–

[dusk/sunset: dusk is a period of time, whereas sunset is an event that occurs just before this time. dusk is a process whereby day becomes night and sunset is the specific point that the sun drops below the horizon and out of view]

dusk - the darker stage of twilight; grow dark; the time before night when it is not yet dark; the time when day changes into night and the sky begins to get darker. the period of time between sunset and nightfall

sunset - the time in the evening when the sun disappears or daylight fades; the apparent descent of the sun below the horizon

[dawn/sunrise: dawn is a time of day, whereas sunrise is an event that occurs during this time]

dawn - the first appearance of light in the sky before sunrise; the beginning of a phenomenon or period of time, especially one considered favorable; (of a day) begin; become evident to the mind; be perceived or understood. or the period in the day when light from the sun begins to appear in the sky, etc, // the first appearance of daylight in the morning

sunrise - the time in the morning when the sun appears or full daylight arrives

rise - move from a lower position to a higher one; come or go up (dusk to dawn is a form of a rise, the sun rises and appears)

to - towards; a form of destination or direction; dedication

//

glossary: figurative meanings

rise - for me to rise up in the face of adversities, to move from my state of present darkness into the light

to - written in letter style to myself, it's also a rise to (towards) dawn, a journey towards light & dawn

dawn - a change in me, light in my life, towards a new beginning, leaving the darkness behind me

dear - an address to myself

11:11 - what 11:11 truly means to me, more than just a moment to wish

let - freedom, free, moving ahead at my own pace, nothing withholding me

me - what makes up me

begin - to reset, to start, to make truly a change

again - to keep growing, learning, changing, adapting, reflecting to become a better version of myself

in - inner me, inner feelings, thoughts, deep in me, in the depths of my heart, hidden things within us

a - one life, one day, one self, one time. beauty of once-in-a-lifetime

new - different, novel changes, away from the old

way - the road ahead of me, in my own style, my own direction and method, i go forward towards the future, my story

, comma - of infinite possibilities, there's no one ending

//

💎 THANK YOU FOR READING 'RISE TO DAWN' 💎