Originally written on the 08/01/20 this piece was just intended as a one shot. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to use it.

Now I know it will definitely be used and the reason for this is because the first few chapters under went a serious rewrite after this piece was written.

In the original draft for the first few chapters, Marcus's mother Mandy was supposed to be killed off by his father William.

But when I rewrote the first few chapters this year, I decided that it was a bit over the top and inconvenient for what would come later in the story. So I scrapped the idea.

No one could tell. That was the most important thing to Marcus right now, as his mother's body lay growing cold, his best friend lay dying in a hospital bed, his sister left with his older brother, a stranger to her, and the object of his affection having no choice but to watch her world crumble, no one could tell. He had hidden it well, or at least he had until this moment. This moment where he finally snapped. All the pain and the guilt rushed to the surface, because he knew the truth, even if no one wanted to acknowledge it. He was the reason that his mother was dead, that his sister was stuck with a stranger. Worse still, he couldn't fix Joshua's problem, or Julianna's fear for her brother. He was utterly useless and he hated it. So in that moment, he made a run for it, faster than he ever had. Once outside, he found a violent release that left him with dislocated knuckles and the feeling of becoming someone he did want to be. It sickened him. The very thought of taking delight in violence. Oh it sickened him quite literally. As he finished taking his anger out on the wall that was the only thing in his surroundings, he felt a build up in his body, the swishy swashy feeling of knowing that he was trapped in his own cage, that's when it happened. Despite the fact that he was quite literally empty, after not eating since his mother had last made him toast, and not sleeping since he'd been knocked unconscious, resulting in dark shadows around his eyes, he hurled. For a moment he felt like he was dying. Feeling frustrated, angry, guilty, and hateful all at once, he yelled. More of a screaming howl, than actual words, but he did not care much to say the things that were stuck in his head. The guilt, the self hate, and anger finally took over and he realized that he'd lost control. He couldn't hide it. But he had to try. He couldn't let Layla see this version of him. He'd rather let it kill him inside than effect her.