Is it possible that she just said what I think she just said?

As she speaks, I just sit there and observe what she says. Does she seriously believe that? As the temperature in my blood begins to rise, she withdraws from the situation. Why does she feel it is imperative to make me angry over and over again with the decisions that she makes?

"Are you fucking kidding me? Fuck No, you aren't going anywhere!" I yell at her.

What on earth could she possibly be considering at this very moment? When she is aware that the world we live in is built on a foundation of lies, why on earth would she put herself in harm's way by taking a chance?

"Just consider it, Clay." She makes an effort to beg me. I, however, remain steadfast and don't move.

"No, we are not going. Have you forgotten all that has occurred this year? I yell at her.

"No, I haven't, but we need to go away, even if it's just for a little while," She adds as she approaches me. As soon as she reaches out to hold my hands, I immediately pull away as my ego takes control. As she pushes past me, sadness settles in her gaze.

I know the moment I look at the girl I love; who I have only ever seen turn off all of her emotions once, that I have angered her because she starts packing her bags right away.

"Where are you going?" Although I attempt to stop her, she pushes me away. She pushes with a minuscule amount of force so that she can argue her case without hurting me, and I can feel it.

"Aunt Lia's. Clay, I'm worn out. Just because you want to stay inside and close the door to the outside world doesn't mean I have to stop living my life. I love you, but I'm not going to stop doing what I love because you want me to. With or without you, I'm going."

She leaves the room, taking her belongings with her, and then starts walking down the stairs. I chase after her down the stairs, grab her by the waist, and beg her to stay, but she is adamant about leaving.

"I want you to come with me, but you are so in your head, always replaying everything that has happened, that you worry something will happen. I can't live like that." She shouts at me.

I hear Logan and Brie come up from behind and my anger takes over. Why do these two need to be involved every time Ray and I have some sort of dispute?

"Clay stop before you say something you regret," Brie tries to warn me

Too late!

I yell at her, "God why are you so fucking stubborn," saying, "I thought that after everything we've been through, you would stop acting like the broken girl I first met, But no, you do anything you can to try and push me away." My inner voice tells me I made a mistake and my subconscious tells me I screwed up, so I stop.

From the look on her face, I can see that I have completely screwed this situation.

"Shit," Brie says, shaking her head and Logan agrees with her, unfortunately for me so do I.

What the fuck did I just do? I run my hands through my hair.

"Broken? You still think of me as broken?" She calmly says. I walk towards her but she backs away.

"Baby, that's not what I meant, please, let's just talk about this." I plead with her as a tear slides down my cheek. I feel as if I'm about to lose the one and only thing I've ever loved because I'm such a complete fool.

"You want to talk Clayton, Okay let's talk, I'll go first," She says with anger and attitude. Clayton? She never calls me that. I know I fucked up and now I'm afraid of what she will say.

"Is my life supposed to be placed on wait because you believe you have me under your thumb? Or is it that you lack the ability to respond appropriately because you are unsure about the direction your life is taking?" She tells me. I'm stunned by her words.

"You're my girl and I love you, Raven, you don't mean anything you're saying right now," I tell her hoping I'm right.

"Correction, I was your girl and I was damn good at it, everytime I tried to tell you what was on my mind or what I would want to do, you would tell me not today. I was the best thing you had, case in point, anytime you needed all you had to do was yell -where's Raven?- and I'd be there for you. So here I am!" She puts her arms out,

"You want honesty between us? I've initially told you that I don't believe in fairy tales. So be it; I've had enough, and I'm not going to stay." Brie follows her as she exits the front door after gathering her bags. All I can do is scream as the sun catches her black hair.

"FUCK!" I shout, I screwed up once again, this time bigger than ever, will she stop loving me because of this? I hope I can find a way back to her.

"You're such an idiot Clay" Logan pipes up as he walks away. I take my hands and pull on my hair in frustration before I run my fingers through it.

I was so afraid of losing her that I tried to control everything she did. Unfortunately, that strategy backfired, and I ended up losing her anyhow.

She has been gone for two weeks now, staying at Lia's, and according to Brie, our quarrel has broken her heart. Raven's strength was one of the things Brie showed me. She stated that when she cried about us, her tears ignited whatever they came into contact with, causing it to burn to ash. After our conversation with Mr. Michaels, he told us that Raven's tears are a manifestation of her love for me and her belief that our relationship is currently on fire. To put it another way, I had badly hurt her.

She still cares.

As I lay in bed, the days pass, and I dread waking up every morning without her by my side. It's amusing how certain things we are used to doing make us wonder how we ever managed without them. I never imagined needing love when I first encountered it. Much like the air I breathe, she has influenced my world. I miss those nights spent gazing into her eyes. Despite the fact that I would do anything to have her here, I find it difficult to apologise. I could live without my car, my phone, and my credit card, but it would be insufferable to be without her.

I kept an eye on Raven from a distance as the week slowly went by. She wouldn't pay attention to whatever I tried, so I gave up. When Friday night came, I made the stupid choice to revert to my previous routines. By allowing the girls to grope me without engaging in sexual activity with them, I made a huge mistake. I was aware that what I was doing was wrong and that Raven would soon calm down so that we could discuss what had happened. I regret everything from that evening. The most regretful experience was catching her glance as she came through the front door.

I'm broken by the sadness in her eyes—all brought on by what I did. I had no desire to harm her. I realise that's not an excuse, but I'm still working on being a better man for her. As a result, I don't blame her if she decides she never wants to see me again. I leap off the couch and chase her after. As the gloomy night is brightened once I step outdoors, I realise her emotions have taken over. I can sense her battling with herself as she maintains control. How many times do I have to make a mistake before I figure it out?

I stand here and watch as she keeps on walking away; she is completely oblivious to the fact that I am right here. Because her feelings dominate her thoughts and actions to such an extent, her innate instincts are starting to get pushed to the background. I force myself to inhale deeply before shouting,

"Raven, stop. Baby please stop." I try to plead with her.

She spins around to face me, and as she does so, I watch as her tears fall to the ground below her, causing the grass to turn to ash. I am rendered speechless since I have no idea what I can say or do to seek her forgiveness. As I go closer to her, I can see that her eyes are blazing with fire.