Namjoon focus

Namjoon was nursing Jin like the other had done for him many times. With one hand under his brother's neck and one underneath his lower back he made him float in the warm water of the bathhouse basin. Since he had not been allowed to visit the other much during his time of life-threatening struggle against the poison, he wanted to make up for it now.

"Does a crown prince not have better things to do in the middle of the day?" Jin asked with closed eyes and an impish smile on his plush lips. His softening face was contradicting his words.

"Is caring for his family not part of a prince's duty?" Namjoon asked in the same unhurried manner and smiled at the older.

"I would not know. I am only curious," his brother replied.

"Maybe I am only selfish and want you back in best health so that you can take care of me again," Namjoon joked und chuckled softly when his brother opened his eyes to look at him a little indignant.

"You should not have sent away physician Jung then," the older said snappishly and closed his eyes again. Namjoon felt a little proud when he noticed that Jin was no longer hesitating when he spoke informally to him. Over his last visits at his brother's sickbed the older had become more confident in his own title. What was the cause? Namjoon did not know. But he was very pleased.

"Physician Jung's request for leave was a good excuse to send advisor Min with him and young mistress Park to Busan," he explained.

"Why would advisor Min need to go to Busan?" Jin asked, eyebrows furrowing. "Busan does not seem critical to me. What kind of work does he have there?"

"None," Namjoon said nonchalantly. "He told me that his only love is the sea, so I offered him some free time to visit the ocean. But he declined, so I sent him there for cartography."

Jin snorted. "Sailor's bride is the sea... Do you think he can stand it?" The earthy eyes were open again and looked at Namjoon with concern.

"That is why I sent him with physician Jung and his disciple," Namjoon replied serious.

Jin nodded softly and closed his eyes again. "He deserves a rest," his brother agreed. "Did you not say that he has never stopped working since he has entered the palace?"

"Yes," Namjoon confirmed. "Over a decade and father and I never thought of giving him a rest. I feel ashamed."

"Do not," Jin said simply. "For people like him, having too much time to think can be their downfall."

"Is that so?" Namjoon asked alarmed. Had he done something bad by sending advisor Min away?

"Mother said she met many veterans who almost worked themselves to death because they needed the distraction," his brother told him. "They would come to the bathhouse to rest in company of others because their own houses were too big and quiet."

Namjoon nodded absently. He could understand those men. When he was haunted by nightmares of the Northern War, he would run to his study or the bathhouse as well. But there was no running from memories. You had to come to peace with the death of your comrades even though their deaths seemed useless, war seemed useless. His time at the northern border had taught Namjoon what he had never understood when his mother had told him as a child: life is valuable, regardless of status and wealth.

"Let us not bring up the ghosts of the past," Jin said softly. "I heard the good news from the servants. I am going to become uncle." The earthy eyes looked up at Namjoon with a smile.

And Namjoon could only smile back at his brother. He nodded happily. "Soojin is pregnant," he told his brother proudly. Advisor Min's pills had solved his problem perfectly well, and now that his wife no longer tortured him with subtle gestures and demands, he had learned that she was quite an enjoyable character. Her smile was bright and her demeanor had something childish that reminded him of Taehyung.

"Since you no longer come to eat dinner with me every day, I suppose you are spending that time with you wife," Jin said, sounding almost displeased.

"I do," Namjoon admitted. "Is brother missing me?" He looked at the other with a curious smile.

His brother pouted. "The bathhouse is a boring place. All I have to talk to is my mother and Taehyung's radishes."

Namjoon chuckled but also felt apologetic. The thought that Jin could miss their shared dinners had never crossed his mind. He had been very ignorant. "Maybe I should ask father to find a wife for you as well," he joked but the seriousness with which the warm brown eyes looked back at him told him that he had struck a point. "Would you like that?" he asked cautiously.

But his brother shook his head after a moment, and Namjoon felt bad for feeling relieved. It was wrong of him to demand his brother staying unmarried for his selfish heart, but who could possibly give up their love so easily?

"Tell me if there is someone you like," he made himself say. Seeing his brother happy was important to him, so he would have to accept that Jin's happiness was not necessarily his idea of happiness.

But his brother had already closed his eyes again and his featured softened. "You think too much," he said. "Now stop thinking and take care of your older brother."

Namjoon chuckled. "I would never have guessed that brother's true nature is like this."

"I am a man who survived death. I cannot be bothered with formalities," the other replied playfully arrogant and they both could not hold back their laughter.

Namjoon could not wait to get used to this newfound ease.

><

Jiyeon focus

Jiyeon was leaning outside of the window of her carriage to talk to Hoseok who was riding his horse next to it while she stroked the head of his sleeping daughter, who was half draped over her lap.

"I do not want a soldier for a husband," she explained to him. "They think themselves bigger because they can handle a sword. Such silly pride over being able to destroy something."

At that the physician laughed brightly and Jiyeon's heart cheered with him.

"Protecting and creating is worth being proud over," she continued. "But all the soldiers knowledgeable enough to understand this are related to me by blood." It was truly sad. Because who else but a soldier would accept a woman who could wield the sword?

"Right. I forgot that all the higher positions in the army are distributed between your cousins and brothers," Hoseok said, nodding along. "So, what about merchants?"

"Too prone to fall for money and get themselves into illegal business," she shot the idea down without much thought.

"Craftsmen then?" the other asked. "A smith or tailor?"

Jiyeon mused about it a little. There was nothing wrong with a craftsman. Even if her uncle and father would tell her that this was below a noble family's status, she liked people who had a solid stand in life. But her heart was beating for something different, or rather someone different.

Jimin had been right when he had suspected her to have an interest in the physician. She admired his steady hands and broad knowledge. In a way, he was a craftsman, too. He could repair a human with needle and thread much like a tailor sewed clothes, and his ointments were no different from a cook's recipe.

"Maybe," she said with a mischievous smile and looked to the front of their little travel group where advisor Min was riding his horse.

They would reach Busan today, and Jiyeon could not wait to show Hoseok her town. But the crown prince had asked her to accommodate the Dragon of the Eastern Sea as well, so she had not been able to deny. So far however, the man had left them alone and seemed to chase his own thoughts.

After half a day's travel on their fourth day on the road, they could already smell the ocean, and Jiyeon felt an involuntary smile curling her lips. This was how coming home felt. Although she had had a great time in the capital, she always had felt constricted by the glances of the palace servants and the riches that had surrounded her. But now she could breathe freely again. Maybe she should show Hoseok the beach first and take a swim.

The carriage halted.

"What is it, master Lee?" she asked the old housekeeper who steered the carriage.

"I'm not sure, my lady, but the minister..." the man replied hesitantly.

Minister? He must mean advisor Min. Alarmed Jiyeon looked out of the other window. They had reached the western coast of Busan and next to the road, the ocean had opened up into a small bay.

And on that small strip of stone and sand, advisor Min was stumbling forwards like a spellbound man, falling down and getting up again several times until his legs did no longer carry him and he broke down completely.

"Hoseok! The Dragon!" Jiyeon said alarmed and put the small girl's head down on the cushion to climb out of the carriage and run after the collapsed man. Behind her she could hear the crunch of another pair of feet in the sand.

"What's wrong with him? He has been fine the whole ride," the physician asked confused.

But suddenly they heard it, the suffocated cries of a man, and Jiyeon took Hoseok's arm to stop him from going further. "He is crying," she whispered shocked. Why would a grown man be crying? And like this?

Hoseok gently freed his arm from her hand to walk over to the advisor, so she felt confident enough to follow him. But the closer they came, the more unbearable those sounds became. Advisor Min cried like Jiyeon had never heard anyone cry in her life. He was screaming his pain out so loud that his throat must be raw, and choked wet sobs interrupted his suffering in the most pitiable way.

"Advisor Min?" Hoseok asked quietly and kneeled down next to the other man to put a firm hand on one shaking shoulder. But the shorthaired only bent down further, his forehead touching the hot sand and his screams getting muffled by the ground.

"What is wrong with him?" Jiyeon whispered, not able to hold back her own tears at the sight of such suffering. She kneeled down on the other side and began to caress the shaking back with soothing circles of her hand. Hoseok only shook his head, visibly fighting to stay collected himself while he held the other's shoulder.

So, they sat there, allowing advisor Min to let out all the pain he seemed to have bottled up over the years, while looking out over the ocean.

Some pain is too big to be put into words, her father had once told her, some losses are too heavy for one small heart to carry. Only tears can soothe the soul, so men as well should be allowed to cry and mourn, to burn their sorrow and clean their heart.

>>End of Book 1<<

Book 2 will not be a separate book but will instantly follow after this chapter, but I advise you not to start with the second book instantly. Book 1 and 2 are several years apart, so it has a nice feeling to have a break in-between the two.

Also, the plot will tighten from now on, so come prepared.