Alexis

I'm left to peace for forty-five minutes before I finally give in and take my earbuds out. They've started playing music in here, and it's so loud that it's hard to hear my earbuds over the top of it, and it's too crowded to stay sitting.

I shove my phone into my pocket and stand, my hand instinctively snapping to pull down my sleeve. A lady came and sat down next to me a while back, and I glance her way as she stands as well. And am forced to do a double-take.

It's that freaking second lady from the bathroom. Annie. What is wrong with life?

She shoots me a smile before I can look away.

"Well, hello, again."

"Hey," I mutter, allowing my eyes to drop to the floor.

"How's your hand?"

I shrug. "It's fine." I hesitate before adding, "Where's your husband?"

She gestures to the empty stage. "Oh, he's working on staff at the concert. I said hey, then I came out to enjoy it."

I nod like I actually care. "Oh."

We fall into silence... or the utter noise of the room around us, and I breathe a sigh of relief. This girl has issues or something. Or I do.

I thought that was a given.

Just shut up.

Time passes slowly but, finally, the lights flick off and the music... which I've been paying zero attention to... stops. Show time.

The ominous acoustics that key in over the silence are familiar from YouTube this afternoon. Looks like I'm getting a live taste of NF right off the bat.

It isn't long before I'm lost in the roar of the concert. From my place just a little back from the stage, I have a perfect view of Nate's intense features, and soon I'm jumping and screaming and making just a general fool out of myself. But it's a concert, so everyone else is too.

After opening with "Intro" itself, he continues with "Invisible" and "I Just Wanna Know" that I heard today, plus a few I didn't. Including one about his dead mother. Which has me in tears by the end of it.

It took everything inside of me

Not to scream at your funeral.

Sitting in my chair,

That person talking was pitiful!

That's exactly how I felt at Danny's funeral. They were just so stupid. All of them! Celebration of life? Seriously? He's dead now! There's nothing to celebrate because he's gone!

As the song ends, I stare at the ground in an attempt to hide my tears.

Annie glances at me. "You okay?"

I look away. "Yeah, I'm fine."

She doesn't push, and it's not long into the next song that I'm lost in the music again.

And, as the lights flick off and stay off for a long minute, I know they're switching out acts. When the singing does start, it's proof. This is totally different than NF.

It's hi[-hop, but pretty pop as well, and I'm guessing it's called something along the lines of "You'll Never Be Alone". As it continues, I find myself rocking the awesome beat, but the words are going right over my head. Whatever. I'm alone, but it's nice of them to tell me I'm not, I guess.

I recognize these two as Capital Kings from the website. They're hot, I'll say that much.

This song flows into another, this one with a dance-style, slightly calmer beat than the last pop-style one.

Eyes open.

I'm floatin'.

Love, take me away.

Ha. I wonder if that's cleaner than my mind is going.

You're reaching,

I feel it.

I can't be the same.

I'm a fuse soaked in gasoline,

A beam of light for the world to see.

That's... interesting. Really interesting.

Can't slow me down, no.

I, I wanna see the world one fire.

Again. Interesting.

I, I see your signal in the night.

So I illuminate,

I, I'm jumping out in faith.

I, I'll never hide this light away.

Faith? Light? What?

I am more than a dreamer.

I'm a believer.

A believer in what? This is one of the weirdest songs I have ever heard. In my entire life.

It doesn't get any more normal. Whatever. I guess they have every right to write strange songs. And, the next one isn't any more normal. But they seem to be having a complete blast up there, at least. And the music is fun to dance to.

They sing one more... something about falling into someone's arms... before they sing a song... another strange one about good news... with the next band up, Manic Drive, I think, and then hand the stage over to them.

The first one they sing is about feeling like a kid again.

Now that, I can relate too. Children live in blissful ignorance, and I would give anything to get that back again. Okay, these guys are better. They're music is..weird, too, to say the least, but less so. And once again, they rock in a literal sense.

They give over the stage to another rapper, KB, from the two times he stops to talk and has us shout at him, "Talk to us, KB!"

I can't really understand much of what he says in his songs. But he's a good rapper.

I make out the word "Jesus" a few times, and I can't help but smile at the thought of how troubled some Christian freaks at school would be at the fact that they're using the Dude's precious name in vain.

We rock out to that beat until, once again, there's a switch-out of artists.

Make a way

Make a way for

Make a way for the King.

Okay, now I'm seriously confused. What is with all this freaking king business? But everyone around me is screaming like it's not even weird.

The King is coming.

What king, for pity's sake?

Empty hearts are filling up.

Ha. That's so stupid it's funny.

Wicked ways are coming undone.

Yeah. Sure they are. Are these people living in the same world as I am?

Every eye is looking out for You.

Oh my gosh, who?

City lights are burning out.

Freedom's song is ringing now.

Dead men are waking up to the sound of You.

Dead men waking up? What does this even freaking mean?

And all our hearts can sing,

And all our hearts can sing,

Is make a way for

Make a way for

Make a way for the King.

The King is coming.

Split the sky with your glory.

Bring to life an awakening.

Burn away everything that's not for you.

Wait. This sounds... weird. And... not like I want it to be sounding. But no. No way. I shove the thought away. That's impossible.

But the rest of the song doesn't do anything to calm my nerves.

And, they start another one. Okay. Prove my sick brain wrong.

In this time of desperation,

When all we know is doubt and fear,

There is only one foundation.

We believe. We believe.

You have got to be kidding me.

We believe in God the Father.

Oh, please no.

We believe in Jesus Christ.

***** no!

We believe in the Holy Spirit.

I am at a ***** religious concert.

That He's given us new life.

And I stop listening, sinking to the ground despite the major risk of being trampled and putting my head in my hands. Why does everything ***** happen to me? If there really was a God up there, He would be laughing at me right now, I'm sure.

Annie, who has her hands raised in what I guess is worship, just like everyone else in this **** concert hall, opens her eyes and looks down at me, obviously concerned. She kneels down as well, but I avoid her gaze.

"Are you okay, Alexis?"

I don't even look up. And I don't care what she's gonna think as I ask my question.

"Is this a religious concert?"

She hesitates. "Well... people would say that. But all religion ever made of me was just a sinner with a stone tied to my feet. A relationship with Jesus is what sets you free."

I swear under my breath. Because that answer is a very definite yes.

"I didn't know that," I say after a long moment.

She doesn't answer, obviously at a loss of what to say.

"We want you here anyway."

It takes me a long moment to actually register what she just said. And I finally do look up, with disbelief that I can feel on my face.

"What?"

She offers me a small smile. "It doesn't matter to us what you walk through this door believing or not believing. It doesn't matter what kind of junk you have in your life. Everyone, every believer and non-believer, has that, and that means that we're all beautiful messes. And, no matter what your own personal mess is, whether you've believed your entire life or never have and never plan to, we love having you here."

I shake my head slowly. "I cannot believe I was so ****** stupid." I hesitate before realizing the word that just came out of my mouth. "Sorry." I don't care that it sounds about the furthest thing from genuine.

She laughs. "You so do not have to do that. People think we're not used to it." She smirks. "People seem to think we've never been horrified at those words coming from our own mouths."

I don't even crack a smile. All of this is just way too much right now.

Finally, Annie stands, and offers me her hand to do the same.

"Look, Alexis," she says as I hesitantly take it. "I know you had no idea what you were getting yourself into tonight when you came, but that doesn't matter. I've seen that you were having a blast before this tonight. Just forget it happened and keep having fun. I can assure you that you won't be the only one in this hall tonight that's not such a Jesus freak." She smiles a little mischievously. "And who knows? We might even give you something to go home with by the end of the night."

I bite my lip, but what she says makes sense. I might be the only intelligent person in the building, but I'm here now, and I might as well have fun with it. I'm at a concert, and even if everyone else here is worshiping a God who doesn't exist, that doesn't mean I can't just rock out and ignore them.

So I take a deep breath and turn back to the stage. Hey, at least the drummer's legit.