JJ MAYBANK POV

Family is a weird word. It's a word that I don't associate with blood. If I could choose my own family it would be the Pogues, they're more like family to me than anyone else. I'd do anything for all of them, I'd probably take a bullet for each of them, even Sidney.

So hearing that my brother John B might be given the death penalty for a crime he didn't even commit, I knew that I had to do something. We've spent the last few hours sitting on the porch at the chateau, trying to work out how to get John B out of prison.

Sarah is convinced that she can testify against her Dad and Rafe, but there's no way the cops will believe that. Even if Shoupe does believe us, I'm sure Ward has some sort of hold on him, that means this won't go our way without hard evidence.

And as for Sidney, I thought we were healing. I thought that we'd made a breakthrough when she realised the truth about Rafe's involvement in Peterkin's death, but evidently not. To hear that your best friend could be given the death penalty and then to see your other best friend in the arms of the actual perpetrator, can it get any lower than that?

I'd thought she was one of us again, but as long as Rafe is around, she'll always be his girl. I hate what he's done to her, and I hate that I couldn't stop it. Maybe if I'd been more vocal about the things he did to Pope and I then she wouldn't have fallen in love with him. But who can control the way love works? It's not me, because if it were, then maybe it'd be less painful to see Rafe and Sidney together.

Hope is a cruel thing, but it's all we've got left. I hope with everything in me that John B will be okay, that we'll get him out of there and then the Camerons will receive justice. But somehow I don't think that will ever be the case.

Sarah's sitting in the house trying to contact Wheezie, while Pope, Kiara and I try to come up with a plan to free John B, "We have to do something, our boy is a PO-dub right now, okay?" I exclaim, feeling hopeless while Pope and Kiara make no contributions, "He's being held captive by the enemy, potentially scheduled for execution!"

"So what's the plan?" Kiara exclaims, "We just kidnap Shoupe?"

"Maybe, that's not the worst idea actually." I reply, glancing between my two friends.

"That is actually the worst idea I've ever heard." Pope chips in, frustrating me further as neither of them seem to be providing any useful solutions.

"It's pretty bad." Sarah agrees.

"You know, just stay out of this," I tell her, "Pope, we've tried doing it your way, and how has that been working out?"

"So then what's your great idea? Storm a jail, guns a-blazing?" Pope asks.

"They've got our boy, are we just going to sit here and do nothing?" I ask, "No, we're gonna do something about it!"

"JJ, we're not storming a jail!" Pope warns.

"Sidney would be on my side if she was here," I tell them both, "She'd be doing what she could to make this work."

"But she's not here, is she?" Kiara exclaims, "She's back in that nest of vipers with Rafe."

"You think I don't know that?" I reply harshly, "If you two wanna just sit here and play pretend, you do that, but I'm gonna do something, even if that means doing it myself."

I storm out of the porch, heading straight into the rain and climbing onto my motorbike. I don't know where I'm heading, but I just know that I need to get out of here.

As I put my foot down and rev the engine I speed towards the main road, deciding to head in the direction of Figure Eight. Pope and Kiara would think I'm stupid, but maybe if I head to Tannyhill, then I can use force to intimidate Rafe into confessing to his role in Peterkin's death.

I speed down the street, rain hitting my back as I think of all the words I might say when I talk to Rafe. Part of me hopes that Sidney is there so she can see him for the monster that he is. But on the other hand I don't think that I could look her in the eyes knowing that she's still with him.

As I continue riding towards Tannyhill I pass through a street with trees on either side. On my right there's various rubbish bags which people have discarded, which would no doubt anger Kiara. Alongside the trash bags someone's dumped a pile of old clothes. Probably a kook who couldn't be bothered to donate them.

I glance back over my shoulder to get a better look at the clothes, pretty sure that I've seen that plaid shirt before. And then it hits me, I have seen that shirt before.

I pull over to the side of the street, discarding my bike against a random tree and rushing back along the road, dropping to my knees as I realise that it wasn't a pile of clothes, it's a person.

"Shit," I whisper, my heart beating rapidly as I move the person's hair out of their face, a wave of devastation hitting me as I see a face I recognise every inch of.

It's Sidney.

"Sid," I mutter, resting my hand against her cold cheek, "Sid, can you hear me?"

Her eyes are closed and there's blood dripping from her hairline, along with a large wound to her knee, which she must have got from falling.

Remembering a random episode of Grey's Anatomy that John B and I watched whilst high once, I press two fingers against her neck in search of a pulse. I try to stay still and silent, waiting to feel that there's still life in her body.

As soon as I feel her weak pulse I breathe a sigh of relief, "Sid, I really need you to wake up, please Sid." I tilt her head towards me to get a better look at her lifeless face, feeling riddled with guilt as I stare at her.

This isn't good, and it doesn't take a genius to reach that conclusion. I pull her into my lap, hoping that maybe the warmth of my body will help in this situation, I mean who knows how long she's been out here in the cold rain.

I should call an ambulance but I don't have my phone, so I deduce that I'll have to use Sidney's instead. I rummage through her pockets, finding no sign of her phone, just a small plastic bag.

I pull it out slowly, my heart breaking as I realise what it once contained. There's a small amount of white powder left in it. Having grown up with an addict for a father, I know exactly what this is, and I'm quickly realising that Sid must have overdosed.

"Sid," I mutter frantically, tapping my hand against her cheek, attempting to bring her back into consciousness, "Please tell me that this wasn't deliberate."

No one's going to find us here, and seeing her in this state I realise that I need to get Sidney to a hospital as soon as possible. So I put one arm under her legs and one under her back, scooping her up in my arms with a heavy breath.

I steady myself as I step back onto the street, hoping that someone might see us and take us to the hospital. I begin to walk in the direction of the cut, clinging onto Sidney's limp body as rain continues to fall down on us, making this walk in the dark even harder than it would be.

Sidney needs to be okay, she needs to get through this, despite everything, I'm always going to care about her, I'm always going to love her. I hate that things got so bad for her that drugs became the best option. I hope this hasn't been going on as long as I think it has, and I really hope that me pushing her away isn't made this worse for her. If she dies then I will never be able to forgive myself.

The walk towards the hospital is by no means easy, but it's necessary. I'm not going to wait on the side of a street in the hope that someone might stop and help us. Sidney needs medical care and she needs it immediately, because I can't lose her, even if that does make me selfish.

After another twenty minutes of carrying an unconscious Sidney, we reach the hospital. My arms are practically numb, and our clothes are soaked through from the rain. I continue to walk through the parking lot, heading for the emergency department.

"Hello!" I shout as I push through the entrance doors, "I need some help, please!"

A nurse approaches me calmly, "Excuse me sir, if you could take a seat in the waiting area, a member of staff will be with you shortly," She acts as though she can't see Sidney lying unconscious in my arms.

"My friend needs help, right now, she's taken something, a lot of it," I explain frantically, "She's also been unconscious in the rain for fuck knows how long, so I really need your help."

The nurse places two fingers to Sidney's wrist, concern covering her face, "Can I get a crash team over here, please?" She shouts.

"What's happening?" I mutter as she ushers me over to the side as I continue to cradle Sidney.

"She's a suspected overdose," She tells me,
leading me over to a row of hospital trolleys, "Lay her down on one of these."

A doctor rushes towards us, looking at the nurse and then me as I carefully place Sidney on the trolley, "What's up, nurse?"

"She's overdosed and unresponsive with a weak pulse," The nurse tells him before turning to me, "Son, do you know what she's taken?"

The doctor flicks the brakes off and begins pushing the trolley down a corridor, the nurse and I following close behind, "I think it was cocaine."

"Dr Ellis, it's a suspected cocaine overdose," The nurse calls out as we reach a large room with loads of intense medical machines that are all beeping simultaneously, "Honey, what's her name?"

"Sidney Monroe," I tell her as I watch a group of doctors surround Sidney, hooking her up to dozens of machines and putting an oxygen mask on her face, "Is she going to be okay?"

"She's in the best place right now," The nurse smiles, "And what's your name?"

"JJ." I mutter.

"Okay JJ, you can stay in here with your girlfriend, just make sure you don't get in the doctors' way." She tells me.

I don't bother to correct her, knowing that if I say that she's not my girlfriend, they might kick me out, so I just nod and utter a simple "Okay."

The doctors busy themselves injecting Sidney with various treatments, taking blood samples and monitoring her heart rate on the screen beside her bed.

"She's tachycardic," One of the doctors announces, staring at the monitor next to the bed, "We'll need five milligrams of verapamil."

"What does that mean?" I ask, feeling anxious at the sight of her unconscious body.

One of the doctors looks up at me, undoubtedly frustrated by my questions, "Her heart isn't beating the way we'd like it to, so we've got to try and regulate it."

"She's gonna get through this though, right?" I panic, picking at my fingernails, "She has to get through this."

"We're doing everything we can for her," Another doctor smiles as the machines continue to beep, panicking me further as I don't know what they mean, "She's not out of the woods yet, we need to wait for her blood results to see how much cocaine is in her system."

"Okay," I nod.

"Why don't you head home and get some rest?" One of the nurses suggests, "She'll be unconscious for a while, we can call you when she's awake."

"No," I shake my head, "I'm staying, she'd do the same for me."

"Okay," The nurse smiles.

"Nurse, we need you back over here to clean up these wounds, the last thing we need is for them to get infected." The doctor tending to Sidney tells another member of staff.

I feel so useless, I wish I could do something to help her. I wish I could swap places with her, and I would in a heartbeat. I also hate myself for not spotting the signs sooner, maybe if I hadn't been so wrapped up in freeing John B then I could have protected her from all of this.

She looks so helpless lying on that hospital bed, her once sun kissed face is drained of colour. Despite the blood and the bruises on her body, she still looks as perfect as she usually does.

"Okay, the medication is working, her heart rate is returning closer to normal," One of the doctors announces.

I've been sitting on a plastic chair beside Sidney's bed for the last half an hour. The doctors have told me that she's doing better, but they've got to keep helping her fight the cocaine in her system. Her blood results said that she had high amounts of cocaine and alcohol in her system. The doctors said they need to run a liver function test to determine what damage her consistent alcohol consumption has caused.

One of the nurses leant me her phone and I sent a text to Pope to let him know what's going on, and he said he and Kiara would get here as soon as possible.

Sidney is still unconscious, the doctors said it is best for her to remain unconscious while they continue to clear the drugs from her system as her organs can rest. They've cleaned her up, stitched up her wounds and dressed her in a hospital gown, stripping her of the blood and dirt from the side of the road.

A nurse appears by my side to check the numbers on the monitor beside the bed, the rest of the doctors having cleared out now that Sid is stable, "She'll be able to hear you, honey, if you want to talk to her."

"I don't want to say anything stupid," I mutter, "She doesn't need me rambling away in her ear."

"It helps patients who are unconscious, to know that someone who cares about them will be here when they wake up," She smiles, resting her hand on my shoulder, "I'll give you two some space."

I watch as the nurse leaves the room before turning my gaze to Sidney, tentatively taking her cold hand in mine, "Sid, I really need you to get through this," I begin to whisper, feeling my voice wobble.

"You are the closest thing to family that I have, and pushing you away when you needed my support is the biggest mistake I've ever made," I can feel my eyes filling with tears, but I carry on for her, because the nurse said it might help, and I'm willing to try anything, "When you wake up we can get through this together, I'll take you to therapy, or I'll listen to you while you talk, I'll even give up weed if that helps, whatever it takes for you to be okay again."

I hear the sound of the doors swinging open and look up to see Kiara and Pope, tears rolling down my cheeks as I cling to Sidney's hand. I didn't tell them what had happened, I just told them that Sid was unconscious in hospital.

"JJ, what happened?" Kiara whispers as they stay standing by the door.

"She overdosed on cocaine," I mutter, wiping my eyes with my free hand, "The doctor told me that the amount in her system suggests she's been doing it for a while."

"Cocaine?" Kiara sighs, "Why would she do cocaine?"

"Because of us, because we pushed her away when she needed us," I tell them both firmly, "She must've felt so alone, I found her unconscious in the rain."

"JJ, you can't blame yourself for this," Pope tries to reason with me.

"There's only one person to blame for this in the first place," I seeth, clenching my fist, "When I see Rafe I'm going to fucking kill him."

One of the machines begins to beep rapidly and we all look at each other in alarm, "What's going on, Pope?" I ask frantically.

"Kie, get a doctor, now!" Pope shouts, rushing to my side as the beeps on the machine get louder and faster.

Kiara runs out of the room in search of a doctor while Pope stands beside me, my body shaking as I stare at Sidney, panicking about what the noises mean.

The doors burst open and Dr Ellis and several doctors and nurses enter the room, "You all need to clear the room, now."

"I'm not leaving her," I tell them sternly.

"She's crashing, so we need to help her quickly," He explain, "We need space to do that."

"Come on, JJ." Pope drags me towards the door, and with little fight left in my body I comply, keeping my eyes on Sidney as one of the doctors connect another tube to her arm.

We watch through the window, Kiara and Pope either side of me as the doctors race to keep our best friend alive. They've been working on her for what feels like an eternity, attempting to regulate her heartbeat.

A doctor leaves the room and approaches us, "We've managed to bring her heartbeat back to where we'd like it to be, she's got sinus tachycardia, which means her heart rate is faster than it should be while she's resting."

"What does that actually mean?" I ask.

"It means that for the next few hours we're going to keep monitoring her heart rate while continuing to drain the drugs from her system," The nurse explains, "She's connected to some IV drips which will help, but we'll be keeping her asleep overnight to avoid any excessive stress for her body."

I run my hand through my hair, we've not even called her parents because I didn't know if Sidney would want them here. I'm not sure if the doctors are meant to call them, but I'd assume their details are on her hospital record? I can't stop thinking about how I could've prevented this, if I'd just been a better friend.

"When do you think she'll wake up?" Pope asks the nurse.

"It could be in the next couple of hours, or it could be some time tomorrow," The nurse tells us, "So you may as well head home and rest."

"No," The three of us answer in unison.

"We'll stay," Kiara smiles, holding onto mine and Pope's hands, "She deserves to have family by her side when she wakes up."

"She's lucky to have you," The nurse smiles before heading back into Sidney's room.

"Should we tell Sarah?" Pope suggests, "Maybe she can pass it on to Rafe."

"He doesn't deserve the courtesy of being told what's happened to her," Kiara shakes her head.

"He'll find out when I put him in one of these hospital beds." I mutter, clenching my hands as I stare through the glass at Sidney's unconscious body.

"She's going to get through this isn't she?" Kiara whispers to Pope, just loud enough for me to hear.

"She has to," Pope replies, "She's a fighter."

authors note: well I hope you enjoyed seeing things from JJ's pov!  this is a double update so make sure to read on!
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