I think too much about Devin. When I'm sleeping I dream of him, when I'm awake he's always on my mind. I haven't gotten over him and I've been in California for a month. I need to do something, I'm not any better than I was when I got here.

Landon sleeps in my room, the bottom bunk. He doesn't ask me any more questions about why I'm sad or who Devin is. Colin doesn't pry.

I change into into rolled up jeans and a tank top. I pull on my sneakers and I grab my backpack. "I'm going out," I tell Colin.

"Do you want one of us to go with you?" Landon asks. I shake my head.

I pull the door shut behind me and pull on one of Devin's hats. I catch a city bus downtown. I stick my earbuds in and think as the bus drives.

I can't keep on like this. I can't keep doing this. I need to change.

And I also need to face the facts:

Devin's a part of me. He's always going to be. He's always going to be my best friend, my first love.

No matter what, nothing's going to change that. I need to change myself; become a new person.

Leave him in my past and be a new Riley.

I get off the bus and start walking around. I'm looking for something, but I don't know what. And then I see a hair salon. I start walking towards it without knowing why. I walk inside and walk to the front desk.

"Hi, how can I help you?" a young woman asks me.

"Um, I was wondering if I could get in for a hair appointment-I think coloring," I say. She nods and pokes around on her computer.

"Yep, someone will be with you in about fifteen or twenty minutes. Your name please?" she says.

"Riley. Is there a book I could look for examples of different colors?" I ask her. She nods and hands me a white binder. "Thanks," I say and then take a seat. I take my hat off and put it in my backpack. I set my bag on the floor by my feet.

I open the binder and look through different hair colors. I have no idea what I'm doing. But if I'm becoming a new Riley, Riley 2.0, a new hair color is a good place to start. My hair is naturally a mixture of blonde and brown. There's no way I'm going blonde blonde. And I don't want to go dark brown, it'd be too much like Devin.

I look up and make eye contact with a guy walking outside. He has blonde hair and crazy blue eyes. He stares at me and then stops and pounds on the window. And then I recognize him.

TJ.

He points a finger at me and mouths I know you. I look down quickly at the binder and keep looking through pages. "Hey Ridley," TJ says and sits down next to me.

"Riley, you jackass," I tell him. "Can I help you with something?"

"I was just walkin' 'round, about to visit my cuz and then I saw you," he says. TJ has an accent from the 'streets' even though he's about as white as you can get.

"Why are you here?" I ask him. "By the way, you can drop the accent. You and I both know that you're white, from a rich little family. So, talk like a normal person."

"Girl, this is how I talk," TJ says. I roll my eyes. He looks down at the binder that I have. "You'd look good with that hair color," TJ says, pointing a color labeled Dark Brown Cherry Red.

"Red?" I ask him.

"Yeah," he says. He seems to have lost his accent. I stare at the color for a little while longer and and then decide that it's perfect.

"Thanks," I say, surprised.

"Do you mind if I stay?" TJ asks.

"You can if you want. But why?" I ask him. He shrugs.

"I've got nothing better to do," TJ says.

"Riley? I'll be your hair stylist today. My name's Mia," a chick says. I look up.

"Hi, is it okay if my friend joins us?" I ask, gesturing to TJ. She nods. I stand up and grab my bag. Mia leads us back to her little space. I sit down in the chair and TJ pulls up a chair.

"So what are we doing today?" Mia asks me. I open my mouth but TJ starts talking.

"She's changing her hair color to dark brown cherry red, lean more to red the side color wise. And try to throw in some darker highlights around her face. Use some brown, but primarily dark red-almost auburn. Trim an inch or two but also throw in a couple of layers," TJ says.

I stare at him. Mia looks at me. "Yeah, what he said," I say. She nods and then brushes my hair. She goes back to get coloring stuff. I touch my hair. I've never colored it and to go red, it's different. "Do you really think I should?" I ask TJ.

"Yeah, it'll look great and you obviously need a change," TJ says.

Mia walks back with the coloring stuff. "You sure you want to do this? It's a big change," she says. I look at TJ and then look in the mirror.

I need to change. Become someone different. Forget him and move on with my life.

"Let's do it."