We've been driving for four hours. He hasn't said a word to me in two. Not since he wiped away whip cream. I really have to pee, but I'm not going to say anything. My legs are bouncing even though my mouth is puckered in concentration.

"In going to stop at a rest stop," Devin tells me.

"Oh, thank Jesus," I say. As soon as Devin pulls into the parking lot, I jump out of the car and run to the bathroom. And there's a line. A long one. "Shhhhhiiiiiiitttttt," I say and shift from leg to the other. I run out of the women's bathroom and look around before walking towards the men's bathroom. I bump into Devin's chest and I nearly pee.

"What are you...were you going into the men's bathroom?" Devin says.

"Yes! I'm desperate! The line was too long. Now if you'll get out of my way," I say. I push past him, but he grabs my elbow.

"Yeah, that bathroom is full. I was gonna go in the woods. You're welcome to join me. And judging by how much you're bouncing you really have to go. So, the choice is yours," he says. He's clearly amused. I glare at him, still bouncing.

"If anyone sees me I'll kill you," I say and then dart into the forest. I run as far as I can make it and then I squat behind a bush.

"Shit, there's someone coming," Devin says. I fall over.

"What?" I ask him panicking.

"Just kidding," he says. I cough and squat again. I pee and my eyes roll back into my head. I was holding in my pee for a very long time. "You need a tissue? To wipe with?" I hear him call.

"Shut your eyes and walk towards me," I tell him. He does what I tell him to and I'm careful that his hand doesn't touch mine. "You can turn around and walk back," I tell him. I wipe and then zip up my jeans and button them. I tuck the tissue under a bush and then walk over to where Devin is and trade places with him. He comes back two minutes later.

"We ready to go back on the road?" Devin asks me. I nod. We go back to his car.

"Do you want me to drive?" I ask him. He shakes his head. "Okay." I rest my head against the window and shut my eyes. I pull my hair to the right side of my neck again and I'm not sure why. Do I want him to look at my neck and my bra strap? I don't know.

"You can sleep if you want," Devin tells me. I yawn and rest my head against the seat. And then my eyes shut.

I slip into the trance of somewhere between sleep and reality. I feel Devin touch my cheeks and brush my hair with his fingers. I feel him trace the hollow of my throat where the locket used to sit. And I feel him grab my hand.

But I'll never know if I was dreaming or if it was real.

"I have to stop for gas," Devin tells me. I've been awake for a couple of minutes now. I nod and then we're at the gas station.

"I'm gonna get something. Do you want anything?" I ask him. He shakes his head. He hands me a crumpled twenty and I walk in. I grab a bag of chips, beef jerky, candy, chocolate and then I see a slushie machine. I fill a cup up with every flavor and fill one for Devin with cherry and Coke. I bring all of the stuff to the register and pay. I shove the candy into my back pockets, dangle the chips from my teeth and balance the slushies in my hands. I walk back to the car and Devin takes the chips from my mouth. I hand him the slushie without saying anything.

"Thanks," he says. I nod and get back into the car.

"How much longer do we have?" I ask him.

"Another four to six hours, depending on how bad construction is," he tells me. I nod. I pull out my phone and text TJ: Hey. My phone buzzes a couple of seconds later.

Hey, how's it going?

Umm...

Bad, huh?

I think I might lose it. Lose my shit. We still have another six hours of driving and we've been driving for four already. I thought I could handle being around him but when he touches me I want to burst out into a crying fit or jump him. HELLLP!!!!

Oooh, ummmm, uhhh

You could help me.

Just, stay cool. Don't freak out and don't cry. But it wouldn't be the worst thing if you jumped him. You're hot; he's got manwhore tendices. You're both horny...he has condoms....

You're disgusting. But thanks. Gotta go

Bye

I put my phone away. Devin's eyeing me. "Who's texting you?" he asks me.

"Oh, just TJ," I tell him. He looks at me strangely.

"TJ, Tyler James, Anderson? The one that went to our high school?" he asks me.

"Yeah," I say. I don't see what the big deal is.

"So what...you guys aren't like a, like a thing, are you?" Devin says.

"Oh, no. We're not...he's not...we're just friends. Definitely not dating," I sputter out. My cheeks are bright red.

"Why are you friends exactly? I'm not judging but, I mean, TJ doesn't seem like the person you'd hang out with," Devin says. He says he's not judging me, but it's obvious that he is.

"How would you know?" I snap, "You don't know me anymore."

"That's what I'm figuring out," he mutters. I slurp my slushie and eat chocolate. I shove my earbuds in my ears and crank up the music. Trying to drown him out. It's like a switch was flipped and now I'm pissed.

But it's true: he doesn't know me anymore.

I see why Devin said that construction might be three hours. It's a fucking disaster. "Ah, fuuuuuuuuck," I groan. Devin smirks at me. "How long so you think?" I ask him. He shrugs.

"A couple hours," Devin says. I groan. I unbuckle my seatbelt. "What are you doing?" he asks me.

"Grabbing a book from my bag," I tell him. I turn around and reach over. I gasp. His fingers are touching my industrial piercing. I move my head away and climb into the back row. I dig through my bag and fish out a book. I've already read it a lot, but at least then I don't have concentrate too hard on it.

I start to climb back but then we hit a bump and I go flying onto Devin. Into his lap with my ass in his face. The hand not on the steering wheel has flown to my stomach to steady me. "You good?" Devin asks. I think I whimper.

I scramble up and then I'm sitting on his lap. "Um," I say and then dive for my seat. I stick my earbuds in and try to concentrate on my book. My cheeks are again a bright, clown red. I still feel where Devin's hands were.

I've missed his touch for so long that I'll don't think I'll ever forget it. Each touch pressed into my skin.

Oh, God.

I missed him so much.

I can't seem to focus on my book. "Is your book good?" he asks me.

"Yeah," I say.

"You haven't flipped a page in a hour," he tells me. And I have no response. "We're almost through construction." I nod. "And then we have another two hours of driving."

"So..." I trail off. "How was your um, summer?" I ask. Devin laughs.

"Really? That's what you ask?" Devin says. I shrug. "I had a good summer," he says. "What about you?"

"I uh..." Did I have a good summer? I want to say that I had a terrible summer and it was all his fault for breaking my heart. But I didn't have a bad summer. I actually had a decent summer. It wasn't great at first but then I met Landon and friended TJ. "I had a great summer," I tell him.

"You changed your hair and got another piercing," he says.

"Yeah. I needed a change," I say and look out the window.

"A change from what?" he asks me.

"I-it's...it's um, not really important anymore. I'm over whatever it was," I say. I'm kind of lying. I am and I'm not over Devin. But I've changed because of him-what he did.

"Yeah, but what was it?" he asks.

"Not any of your fucking business." How can he not know?

"Did I do something to make you mad at me?" Devin asks. And then I think I snap. We're currently stopped and it's a two lane road.

I open the door and run. Run away from him. Run away from all of his bullshit and lies and torture and all of the pain he's caused me. I'm running and running as fast as I can. There's a fence and I'm in the process of scaling it when someone's arms wrap around my waist. I try to keep climbing but I can't.

"Riley!" Devin yells. I keep holding onto the fence. "Riley!" he yells again. And then he tugs me so hard that we both go falling. His hands never let go of me. I try to move but I can't because of him. His fingers are pressed against my skin where my shirt has hidden up.

"Let go to me!" I yell and elbow him. I think I've gone insane. It's because of what he's doing to me. I elbow him again but he doesn't let go. "Let go of me!" I shriek again. I'm two seconds away from crying. He's not going to let go of me.

Silent tears are streaming my face. They roll of my cheek and hit him. And that's when he releases me. I push off of him and walk towards the car. I shove my earbuds in and refuse to look at him as he starts the car and keeps driving.

There's a rip on the knee of my jeans and it's scraped. My hair is full of twigs and leafs. I'm pretty sure I have bruises on my stomach from his hands refusing to let go.

We don't talk for the rest of the drive.