Book name : Her '24'
Author : Pearbhi_lover_priyu
Mature? : A little
Chapters read : 31
Fandom : BeHir
Genre : Fanfiction

➶ R E V I E W ➴

➵ First impression : Hooked to the book.

➵ Cover : The cover had my heart! But the fonts didn't complimented it. Do change the fonts of the cover.

➵ Title : It's thought well, and very intriguing. I was wondering why is it '24', and you gave me the answer in the blurb itself. And honestly, it's better than the previous one.

➵ Blurb : Honestly, I didn't got that 'Just click the read button, damn it!' feeling when I read the blurb. Bela's POV was sad but a mention about the word 'accident' will make it more intriguing, as people will wonder which kind of accident happened that no one is marrying her.

Mahir's POV - Little hurting but could have been more better.

I liked how you explained the title in the blurb as many people would get confused. There were grammatical errors in it, so do edit it once.

➵ Flow & pace : It's going very smooth, go with this pace only. The flow in the middle was little weird as the past chapters were looking like pop-up. Have a reason why that past chapters came.

➵ Plot of the book : Loved the plot! And what I love more about the book is - you are spreading awareness about boy's rape. The twists and turns are thought well and you use every character perfectly, and even readers can understand them by their ideologies.

➵ Grammar : There are grammatical errors in every chapter. One suggestion, when you have long dialogues do this -

"First part of the dialogue.

Second part.

Third part."

Because it's very difficult to read that whole dialogue without losing the track of the lines.

I had given this tip to you in your previous review also, but I don't see you using it, so here's a reminder :

Don't write like this -

"It's me Bela , it's me , your Mahir !" 

Go for this -

"It's me Bela, it's me, your Mahir!"

Also Bela's spelling is wrong at a few places, I know it's autocorrect but do proof-reading.

In the edited chapters, you wrote when the dialogues ended.

~ said Bela.

There's no need of "~" actually, you can use different words which depicts dialogue's depth. Like mouthed, cautioned, cried, shouted.

➵ Character development : It's going smooth, a character can't develop within a chapter. You have aced with showing nearly every person's emotions. But can we have Yuvraj's point of view? I know it's difficult to write but I'm damn sure you can do it. And those dialogues of Bela and Mahir are just perfect! It pierced my heart when Bela talked about rape. And I just loved the way you showed BeHir's conversation, it was very difficult to take anyone's side because both were right in their ways.

➵ Overall impression : All and all, the book's plot is on a sensitive topic. I was unsure if you would justify with the victim's pain; thank you for proving me wrong.

➵ Suggestions :

- Change the fonts in the cover.

- Try rewriting both of them POV's in the blurb, also do check my suggestions in that part.

- Work on the grammar. Do proof-reading for future chapters.

- Once completing the book, do edit the book for sure, yes again.

I don't have much suggestions for you, as your book will be near to perfect when you'll follow these tips.