They said you wouldn't really remember the intense, long-lasting pain of giving birth after a while. After going through it myself, I can tell you that they were all very, very wrong.

I remember every single little detail of the day I gave birth to my daughter. I remember it as if it were just moments ago that it happened.

I can still feel the pain in my body by just thinking about it.

I suppose it would have been a little different if I actually was able to bring home a child.

My sweet little Josephine would have been a month old today.

Looking back at a small album of photos Tyler put together, I remember my pregnancy and the child I lost on this anniversary.

Tyler created the book in the hopes to add pictures to it every so often and create an entire lifetime of memories packed into the pages. But with let life cut so short, the book reflects that.

The only images in the booklet are those of her sonograms throughout the weeks. It is still so great to see her grow through pictures even though losing her crushed me greatly.

I truly do believe everything happens for a reason though.

I'm not yet sure what that reason is, but I am sure I will find out when the time comes for me to know.

I close the booklet and place it on my pillow, holding my hand over it as if to absorb the memories inside of it.

My eyes glance up at all of the family photos on the wall. Family. These people are what got me though losing my first child. They kept me sane and they continue to keep me sane with the day to day struggles life feeds me.

Though we have lost so much, we still have each other.

My fingers dance across the bed and they grab on to my phone. Without thinking, I dial a number and hold it up to my ear.

"Hi John. It's me." I smile sadly as he answers. "Any news today?"

I can almost see him slump down in his chair as he sighs. "I was debating on whether or not I should tell you this, but then you called so I guess that's my answer. The department got a package today."

"What kind of a package?" I inquire.

"I think you should come down here and see if for yourself." He suggests.

"Is it from my father?"

"We believe so. But there's no way to be sure of that yet." He admits that he doesn't know much.

"Please tell me it's not a body part or something? I can't handle that John and you know it."

"Well, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't. Though, it's not what you might think."

I rush over to the police station to see the mysterious package. John meets me at the front door and ushers me quietly into an interrogation room so that we can have some privacy.

"Here it is." He opens up the box and allows me to peer inside of it.

I look over the edge and see a bloody umbilical cord in the bottom. I'd recognize that body part anywhere. I cover my mouth in disgust.

"Why would he send this?"

"Well clearly he's trying to send a message. What that message is, we aren't sure yet. Though I do have a feeling it's got something to do with your baby."

"I suppose it's a good thing that I don't have a baby for him to hurt." I shrug. He can't hurt her.

John looks at me, shocked. I didn't tell him. It's still been too hard to say out loud. I just didn't want to go through the pain again. "Does that mean-"

I nod my head. "Chromosomal defect. The doctors said even if she didn't die when she did, she wouldn't make it a week outside of me."

"I'm so sorry Avery. Really, I am." He places his hands on top of my shoulder.

I nod and grab on to his hand. "She's in a better place now. And plus, he won't even have the chance to hurt her. She's safe from his wrath."

"That's a different way of looking at it." He shrugs.

I look back down at the bloody box. "Do you think he killed a pregnant woman to get that from her? Just to send us a message?"

"That's the only theory we've got right now. A few of the detectives think it could be a warning that he's coming back. Possibly for your baby? We really aren't sure. I wish I could tell you I had some real answers."

"My father is too smart to come back. He has to know that we are under total police surveillance all the time. He wouldn't be that dumb." I add. "He's trying to say something else."

Author's note: what do you think the message means?

Do you think I am a terrible person for killing Avery's baby?