POV Roger

After the celebrations of Freddie's birthday, the boys and I returned to Trident Studios to record only the instrumental of the song Seven Seas of Rhyne. We only have two more weeks of recording, before college classes go back to Deacy and me. Then we'll go into the studio only in late November to early December. Ivy had sworn in the name of our friendship that she was a little sad and thoughtful because of some Brazilian family members, in the health of some uncles. I want to believe, but, I still feel she hides something from me.

Over the next two weeks I was totally focused on recording the song with the guys. Via Jill every day. She is five months pregnant and finally her pregnant belly is already visible. She said that soon she will have the ultrasound to know the sex of the baby. I am very anxious to know if I will be the father of a boy or a girl.

Finally, classes at Biology College came back on September twenty-first. Now it's fall. The boys and I agreed to re-record at Trident Studios from December 14, when I'll be on college vacation. Still, we'll record for only a week, because then the holiday season will come. Ivy's and my sister's college classes also came back on that date. In fact, all colleges returned to class on the twenty-first.

Jill has just one more semester of school to finish college before our baby is born. We are looking for an apartment to move out soon.

On the twenty-fifth of September, on Friday, after another day in college, I went to the biology teacher's internship at High School. On that day I taught three classes because the principal teacher had failed. About five-thirty in the afternoon, I left school and went to the apartment, take a shower, and fetch Jill for dinner at a restaurant. I wanted to be more alone with her. I do not love Jill anymore, but I still have a great affection for her and now she's carrying our baby in her womb. I have to be a caring and considerate boyfriend. I got into my car and quickly got out of the school parking lot. I made a point of going to the apartment where I live, but I decided to go to a flower shop to buy a bouquet of lilies, which Jill so loves. I'll take it to her tonight. I drove for about ten minutes and stopped the car near a flower shop, right next to the main shopping mall in London. I got out of the vehicle and bought the lilies bouquet for Jill. As I was getting back to the car, I saw Jill across the avenue and made a point of going to her and took her home, but at that moment Frank came to Jill, out of a store, a close friend of Jill, Since the Truro Grammar School. Frank is a law student at the University of London. I know him, but I never liked him. I see Frank hugging Jill and handing her a small black velvet box. Jill hugged him affectionately and then I saw a scene that stunned and disappointed me: Frank kissed Jill on the lips and she returned. That's not possible. Jill is pregnant with me and is cheating on me? I did not love Jill anymore, but tears streamed down my face.

Fuck, did she say she loves me, many times, and does this to me, right now that we're looking for an apartment to live together and take care of our baby? Disappointment took over my whole being. But, this will not be so. At this point I got into my car, sitting in the driver's seat and tossed the lilies bouquet into the passenger seat next door. I turned on the vehicle and sped off, heading for my apartment. I showered and tried to calm myself down. I got ready and about seven o'clock I got the documents from the car, the key of the vehicle and my documents. I got back in my car, heading for the republic Maria Assumpta. About seven-thirty in the evening he arrived, and the doorman said he could climb up to Jill's apartment. I rang the bell and Jill opened the door smiling, kissing me on the lips. She closed the door and clasped our hands, leading me into the living room.

- My love, I'm finishing packing, to leave, okay? She said normally.

- Yes my love. He said, smiling with a hint of sarcasm. "I bought you a bouquet of lilies." I know it's your favorite, which you like.

 - My love, thank you very much for the affection. - she said smiling and kissed me on the lips again and put the bouquet in a jug with water in the kitchen and then went to finish dressing.

I was sitting on the couch and rubbing my head several times in disappointment. I really wanted to talk right now with Ivy and say everything that was happening, because I've already made up my mind. Five minutes later, Jill appeared in the living room and said,

"I'm ready, my love. If you want we can go now.

I looked at Jill and said,

"My love, before we go, please sit down here on the couch, I need to talk to you something very important.

Jill sat beside me, entwining our hands.

"What happened, my kitty?" You seem worried. Jill said with all her cynicism.

"Jill, I do not know how to start, but I have to say, I'm going to assume the paternity of our son or daughter, I'll give all the assistance the baby needs, but I do not want to live with you, I do not want to marry you." in the future. He said to her.

- What are you saying? Jill looked at me incredulously. - You do not want to stay with me? You do not love me anymore, is that it? Do you happen to be in love with another woman? Are you in love with Ivy?

"Of course not Jill. Ivy is my friend, one of my best friends. I'm not in love with any woman, but I really do not love you anymore. I would stay with you, just because of our baby. He said, running his hand over her belly. "But you ruined everything." You deceived me.

"I do not understand, Roger. She said with tears in her eyes. "You're breaking up with me, because you do not love me anymore, and I deceived you?"

"Yes. You deceived me." He said in disgust. "You're cheating on me and your friend Frank." I saw them kissing, across the avenue, near the mall late this afternoon. I was out of high school and I went to a florist on the shopping mall to buy lilies for you when I see across the avenue, Frank coming out of a store and handing you a small box of black velvet and the two hugging each other And he kissing you and you responding. It's no use denying it to me, Jill. I saw. It was not someone else who saw it. I saw everything!

Jill was white like a paper. I thought she was going to be sick for a moment.

"I think this discovery, however painful it may have been, however much the disappointment I feel is great, it is better and you know why, Jill?" Because I am free, because I do not need to marry you, or dwell with you. I'll just take our son, I'll give all the assistance to the baby. I'll help you in that part. I do not love you any more, but I did not want to leave you on account of our unborn son or daughter. I wanted to be a family man with wife and son. I did not want to act like my father, who abandoned my mother, my sister and me, who never loved us. I will give love and affection to our baby and for you I would give affection, respect, I would be with you always, even not loving it. But you betrayed me. And even though I do not love you anymore, your betrayal hurts, I felt cheated. He said in disgust.

Jill smiled without humor and said crying:

"And how many times have you betrayed me over these five years of dating, Roger?" Tell me? You slept with a lot of whores, hookers, college classmates, pubs. You confessed yourself. Now you want to be holy and blame me just because I kissed my best friend because I felt a little attraction for him? Please do not be a hypocrite.

"The difference Jill is that even though you knew I'd betrayed you many times, you wanted to continue the relationship with me before you got pregnant because you said you loved me. I can not stand betrayal anymore. I can not stand lies. I no longer accept you. What's more, if you loved me as you always said you would not have betrayed me, no matter how attracted you were to Frank. Jill, you're pregnant with me, but that does not mean we have to get married together. We just have to raise our son or daughter and we can do it without being together. He said with tears in his eyes. - Fuck, why did you fool me? Why did you want to stay with me, even cheating on me with Frank?

"Because I could not bear to see him with Ivy." You may deny it, but, I have an intuition that you like Ivy otherwise, but, you still have not figured it out. You think I do not realize you're jealous of Ivy with Tim? I'm not an idiot, Roger. And I hate Ivy, understand? I HATE IVY. WHY SHE DYED TODAY OR WAS THROUGH BRAZIL, "she shouted at the end.

- TO SPEAK OF IVY. I FORGIVE YOU TO TALK THAT OF THEM, TO DESIRE THE EVIL OF HER. IVY IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE OF MY LIFE. IT'S ONE OF THE MOST INCREDIBLE AND SINCER PEOPLE I KNOW, "I screamed back.

Jill started laughing sarcastically, non-stop, and I did not understand what was happening.

"Is Ivy one of the most honest people you know?" You sure about that, Roger? Jill smiled wryly.

- What are you saying? I grabbed Jill by the arm with a little force as I realized something had fallen from his clothes.

Jill and I looked at the floor and I could not believe what I was seeing. A false belly. A false pregnant belly. Jill was pretending all the time that she was pregnant with me.

"You ... you can not." Were you faking it all the time? He said in disbelief and revulsion. "Were you playing with my feelings all the time, Jill?" Damn, were not you pregnant? How can you fake it for five months?

"I was pregnant, Roger, really. Until the second month of pregnancy, while you were at Trident Studios, recording the album with the boys, one night while I was in my apartment at dawn, I got up for a drink, when I felt a strong pain in my belly and started To get blood and fall through my legs. Chrissy slept in the next room, I went to her in great pain. Then she called the ambulance and they came to pick me up. She even thought about calling you at Trident, but, I said no. She accompanied me to the hospital. I had fainted. A few hours later, I woke up and the doctor had said that I had a miscarriage, two months pregnant. I cried a lot. Thank goodness Chrissy was with me. The doctor thought to warn you, but I said I'd let you know when I left the hospital. I was at rest the next day at the hospital, and Chrissy was with me. At the end of the afternoon I was discharged.

To be continued...