"Maybe this pain is exactly what I deserve," -C.T

There was no greater feeling that I had ever had in my life that could compare to when those same tantalizing lips crashed down onto mine with the same heated frenzy. 

His finger dipped into my chin, prompting me to open my mouth with a gasp as that smooth tongue of his consumed my whole life. 'Oh,' I thought as my mind started to dull, completely taken over by the pleasure I was feeling. 'This is what a good kiss feels like.'

And damn, was it good. Joaquin's lips were soft and warm against mine, a total oxymoron from his hard appearance and I found myself grasping at his broad shoulders, eager for more. I had to take a deep breath to really understand what was happening here, that this was actually Joaquin and not some figment of my imagination pretending to be apart of my reality. 

He took his tongue out to look at my lips slowly, making sure that I could feel everything that was being done. I gasped as teeth bit into my lip, my chin dropping and with a breath of amusement, Joaquin slid his tongue in, pressing it against the roof of my mouth in a gentle caress. I let out a moan as my skin began to prickle in need. Joaquin smirked against my lips, softly motioning for me to surrender to him, give him everything I had.

His lips were slowly sucking me into him, his hands slowly trailing down the front of my shirt, button by button unraveling. The kiss was extremely wet, our tongues clashing together, but I didn't think neither of us cared. He was setting me on fire as his fingers danced around my nipples, flicking and rubbing the nub as he kissed me within an inch of my life. 

This feeling was so new because I was so used to not caring about anyone or anything, but in the throes of sheer pleasure and letting myself fall to the desire of someone else, I realized that I cared a lot more. 

Everything was so amazing, the way his hands felt so warm against my body, the way they gripped my hips to pull me closer to him so that he could deepen the kiss, pouring all of his intense passion into it. 

"Joaquin..." I whispered into his lips, seeing nothing else but him above me. He gripped my jaw, forcing me to look at him. His eyes were dark and full of a different kind of heat, a heat that I had never seen anyone look at me with before. It was so exciting yet so terrifying because I wanted more. A shiver was sent straight down my spine and I licked my lips, watching him zero in on the action. "Fuck," He growled lowly before leaning back in to kiss me again.

This kiss was nothing like the first one. The first was soft and slow as if he was trying to commit every touch, every caress, every flick of his tongue against my lips, all of it to memory. This one was pure need, and my hands wrapped around his neck so that I could pull him closer to me. His arm wrapped around my waist, his shirt somehow gone in the midst. Did I take it off when I kissed him? Did he? I didn't know.

I knew I caught him by sheer surprise and I knew that I had a few seconds before I was going to cower away from his lack of response, but all of a sudden, he had snatched me by the neck and slammed his lips onto mine. 

No one knew how he somehow landed on top of me, licking away my mouth, but my head was starting to spin. I was trying to remember how to breathe, but it was so dang hard with the way Joaquin's lips were moving so perfectly against mine. The thought that I was doing this with a man occurred to me the moment I acted upon the urge to kiss him. 

I just knew that the plain man that I saw before was all gone. Replaced with that was an olive-skinned god with muscles rippling from head to toe. I knew I was salivating over the dip and curve of his exposed torso, a small amount of hair dotting his sculpted chest and my eyes couldn't help but roam from the pecs down to the abdominal muscles. His body was so much better than mine, but it was so much better to look at his. 

A twitch in my shorts had me desperately trying to control the moans that were leaving my mouth. No other person had me writhing beneath them with no control. Scratch that, I didn't think I'd ever lost control like this, but Joaquin was doing a good job taking that control away from me.

"Little rich boy," Lord have mercy, his voice, that raspy timbre of it was setting so deep inside of my mind, soothing all of my worries. It made me want to run away and hide before I bared more of myself to him. The way that he studied me with those shimmering eyes put me on edge and if I wasn't careful, everything that I had been holding back was going to be let go.

Every pore was tingling as I arched my back, feeling him kissing my lips down to my neck. This was delicious temptation as my hand rubbed the back of his head, the smell of mint body wash invading my senses and making me helpless. Such lascivious and carnal thoughts were controlling my every thought as I imagined him bending me over a desk or something with his broad and tall figure covering mine completely. 

God, who did I think I was?

He let out a low chuckle against my neck with hot air rendering me to his touch, his hands rubbing against my sides. What was he doing to me? "Oh?" He whispered as he kissed up to my ear, leaving a trail of small purple bruises as his hand trailed up to my hair, softly yanking at the locks. Tremors shot through my body as I let out a soft moan, wanting more of whatever he just did. "You like having your hair pulled, huh, Cheyenne?" The way he uttered my name in that deep and husky tone was confusing my ability to think.

He knew what he was doing to me, exploiting all of the things that I didn't even know about myself. "Huh?" I muttered breathlessly, licking my lips as I concentrated on the fingers rubbing softly on my scalp. A loud, keening wail was heard bouncing off of the walls as he yanked harder, gripping my hip so that he could grind harder into me. It took me a minute to realize that the sound came from me as I looked into his blazing hot eyes filled with extreme lust.

"S-stop it," I could feel my grasp on my control slowly slipping away with every tug of my locks and every arch of my body up to his. A knowing, smug smirk pulled at his swollen lips as he stalked closer to me much like a predator would corner his prey. The rational part of my brain was screaming at me to flee, but the hand on my hip was telling me that I was going to stay here and take all that he had to give me. 

I opened my mouth to say something, but all that came out was a needy little whisper as he breathed against my lips. A furious blush suffused my cheeks as I looked away, unsure of which Cheyenne this was because this wasn't the one that I knew. The hand left my hip to go wrap my thigh around his waist, pushing himself deeper into me so that I could feel the hard bulge inside of his pants.

It felt like a dream, the senseless tingling and tremors racking me from limb to limb as I sought for more. The front of my pants was stained with every brush of his pants-clad bulge, prompting me to release more and more pre-cum. I felt like a schoolboy with his first crush and I had no clue how to act, but I knew it felt good.

That burning fire inside of me was being ignited every single second and it was becoming to the point that if he wanted to, I'd let him lay me out and use his lips and tongue to memorize every part of me. 

I had no clue what to do, so I was going to leave it up to Joaquin to decide. It was extremely because as I found myself panting and whimpering with every smooth kiss, writhing with every skim of his fingertips against my naked torso, I became acquainted with the reality that it was indeed Joaquin van Zante that devouring me.

I had never been in this situation before, under the comfort and care of someone else, but I realized that it was going to be okay. Just one look from him, one gesture, even one more look and then that smile of his was enough to make my heart race. That feeling lasts and lasts, becoming permanent and I was okay with that.

Just looking at him sent my blood pressure soaring through the atmosphere and I had to admit that he was too attractive for his own good. I knew it was a dangerous decision that I made when Vivi forced me to meet him for the first time.

I knew what I wanted, but I was scared. This was the first time that I had ever wanted something so hard before and there were so many things that could go wrong, but that didn't stop him from bending down to claim my lips again. "Cheyenne," He uttered my name once again, coming close to me so that I could feel his heartbeat. It was the same as mine, fast and fiery. "Y-yes?" I stuttered a bit, feeling a blush coat me all over. He responded with a challenging smirk, staring straight at me as if he was taking in the sight before me.

"How pretty you are..." He murmured before pinning my wrists against the headboard, those tantalizing lips just mere centimeters from mine and I had to gulp the whimper of lust that was stuck in my throat. I was turned on beyond belief, a lot more than I could ever say I have been. ]I could easily become addicted to everything about him—maybe I already was.

That thought was terrifying.

If whatever this was that I felt for him deepened, was I going to be able to hide my feelings from people like Sterling if I had no choice but to? Was it going to be worth it? What if I was just imagining everything?

God damn it! I was Cheyenne Thorn. I knew I was better than that. I was literally the master of poker faces, the person who you could never tell what they were thinking. I didn't dwell on insignificant issues like this because it didn't matter. However, Joaquin broke through my walls with a wrecking ball and now that he had seen the worst of me and comforted me in a way that no one else had, I knew I was done for. 

As I looked up at him, panting, a sudden ping made its way into my mind. That thing that Vivi was always talking about wanting to have with someone like Tomas, that same thing that she wouldn't stop asking me if I believed in, the same thing that she was describing in such detail, I thought that I knew what it was.

I was working up the courage to say something that I hadn't said in eight years, Christine being the last person I told it to. It had been too long and I thought I was a lost cause when I realized that I didn't believe in love. It had been forever since I had this rush of a feeling, the strong beating of my heart as I looked into the brown eyes, seeing the world in them. It had been forever since I craved the touch of another person, but I wanted all that Joaquin had to offer and I was going to let him know that.

"I think I lo—" 

All of a sudden, his body came to a still on top of me as he looked at me with a troubled and faraway look in his eyes, his face contorted into absolute shock, confusion, and regret. I gulped as he stared at me, biting his lip, pure disgust slowly transforming his features with each slow move he made away from me. I was about to say something, the bitter taste of dread coating my tongue as he sneered at me, pushing my hands away as if they were poisonous.

"I—we can't do this."