"True love doesn't end happily because there is no ending," -C.T

I wasn't sure I supposed when I knew.

It was just a feeling that was just always there.

Every time I looked at him and he smiled at me, it crawled up my heart, threatening to make me blush because I was so sure of myself.

I couldn't pinpoint when I knew I had to do it. Was it when he took me to finally meet Alyssa for the first time?

"Hey, Alyssa, I know it's been a long time," I bit my lip, watching him crouch down to the tombstone, wiping away the dust that had accumulated. Joaquin was silent as he stared at the name and the dates, and I just knew that he was definitely feeling it. I let out a breath, touching his shoulder with a squeeze as Holly held onto my hand. 

Alyssa Audrianne van Zante died April 8th, 2012 from breast cancer. "I miss you so much, god, I really do," He sniffled and I frowned, wishing that I could take his pain away. "Mommy, I miss you so much..." Holly's lips trembled as Ambrose looked at me in confusion. "If you were here, you'd punch me for crying over you. You always hated when I was sad," Alyssa sounded like she was an exceptional woman, and often times, I compared myself to her. Could I make Joaquin happy like she did?

"Before I forget, I know you wanted me to move on, so I found someone who I know I can't live without," Joaquin reached up to grab the hand that was on his shoulder. "I met a guy, his name is Cheyenne Thorn and he makes me so damn happy," That was all he said, but it was enough for me to hear the sound of his heart breaking apart and coming back together. 

"Being here, seeing this grave hurts me. That's why I have come to tell you that this will be the last time I come here," My eyes widened as he stood, blowing a kiss to the tombstone. That was a decision he and Holly had made together. "I don't need to look at a gravesite to feel peace when you're everywhere else. I'm not going to forget you because you gave me so much to remember. Besides, you'd slap me if you knew that I still hadn't let go."

Joaquin told me about the promise that he made with her before she died. She made him promise that he wouldn't hold her too long in his mind for him to move on. She made him promise that when the time came, he'd let go and be happy, making her a permanent figment of his memory.

"So you can rest in peace knowing that I am happy now," It was like the air around us softened, caressing our skin like the sweetest whisper before it condensed, a relieving feeling setting into our bones. It was like the hot wind turned into a cool breeze, whipping past our ears and into the ground, a mood of tranquility washing over us all. 

I crouched down, offering a small smile that she could see from down under. "Don't worry, Alyssa," I smiled, placing the last flower on her grave, knowing that it would make its home in the spirit of her life. "I'll love him beyond the end of time."

Or was it when he asked me to help build a homeless shelter with him?

"Babe, I finally figured out something that I want to do," Joaquin said as I threaded my fingers through his hair. "What is it?" I was confused as to what he was talking about. "It got me thinking, we do so much volunteering, so why don't we build our own homeless shelter, hm?" He started playing with my fingers as I pondered the idea.

Even so, he was still so selfless, thinking about other people and it made me want to be a better person, be a better me so that I could always remain with him. He made me want to do things that I never would've considered, like being a parent, like donating some of my clothes to people who need it, to volunteering, to actually getting a job.

But because of him, I did it.

"It'd be great since I'd have you by my side," He grinned and I rolled my eyes with a smirk. "Sure, let's do it," He held up a hand for to high-five and I did, knowing that this was more than just the start of our partnership. We were going to do amazing things together. 

We definitely would.

Or was it when we finally dropped Ambrose off at daycare for the first time?

"Please don't tell me you're crying," I heard an exasperated sigh and I turned to glare at Joaquin, who had his arms folded. "Why aren't you?" I sniffled, watching the boy wave to us for the fifth time as the instructor led him inside, his backpack bouncing against his back. 

"This is just one of many days that we'll watch him run off to school," He muttered, sounding like some domestic parent that could already foresee the future. He had a subtle smile on his face as we leaned against the side of my truck, the breeze brushing through our hair as he wrapped an arm around me. "This is a first for me, you know?" I looked up at him. "I didn't think I would be taking care of a child, let alone two, so this is all new territory," I could feel my eye twitching as he leaned down to kiss my forehead.

"Just take it in stride and always remember it, okay?" Joaquin rubbed my back, a teasing smirk on his lips and I growled lowly, narrowing my eyes. "I'll be here with you every step of the way, come on," He pushed us off of the car, holding out his hand to me.

"We have so many more milestones to reach, so don't cry now."

Or was it when he told me about the dark times of his life and how he finally was able to get off of his depression meds?

"Cheyenne, guess what!" He busted through the door as I was painting a commission, nearly scaring me in my tracks. "What, dude?" I raised a brow and he sauntered over to me, unable to get that smile off of his face.

"My therapist said that since I made amends with Alyssa and with Holly, getting over my guilt of having her taken away from me, I'm not the same man that I was when he met me," He handed me a paper and I put down my brush, reading its contents. "I don't need to take my meds anymore because I am just okay now, Chey," He uttered in a low tone and I motioned for him to come to me, pulling him down by his shirt to kiss his cheek.

"Well, it looks like you're going to be indefinitely happy," Sure, there were times when he would slip and he'd think about something that made him feel bad, but we always talked it out so he didn't hold in and let that bad feeling manifest. "Yeah?" He hummed over my lips, pushing my hair out of my eyes.

"I suppose I have you thank for that."

Or was it when he whispered that he loved me in the dead of night when he thought I was asleep?

My eyes were closed as intense warmth from the body encasing me provided a great deal of security and safety, the light of the moon cascaded over us. Joaquin was rubbing circles into the indent of my hip unconsciously as he intertwined our legs together, almost as if I was laying on top of him. 

Before, my room at the Thorn estate was my safe haven from all things bad, but I found that being in Joaquin's arms was my new safe haven because I didn't have to think about anything that made me feel sad because I was too focused on him. He made me feel whole and for the first time, I had hope. 

"Cheyenne, you awake?" He whispered into my ear and I stayed stagnant, wondering what he was up to. I evened out my breathing as he kept rubbing my hip, the sensation lulling me to a calm state. I burrowed in closer to his body, wanting to feel more of him. I heard him chuckle to himself before a pair of wet lips landed on my temple.

"God, I fucking love you."

I went to sleep with a contented smile on my face after that.

Or was it all of the above?

I couldn't answer that. 

I just knew right then and there, he was the one that I really needed all this time.

I let out a huff as I hung up my apron, seeing Wyatt approach me with a serious expression on his face. What did I do now? I had made sure to do all of the things that Joaquin said to do and more, so I couldn't think of anything.

"Just wanted to tell you," I gulped as he narrowed his eyes at me, his fist reaching out to bump my shoulder. "You're not all that bad."

I blinked owlishly as he walked away, not giving me enough time to really process what he just said to me. Did I really just gained Wyatt Perry's approval? Wow, pigs were outside flying right now. "Daddy!" I felt arms wrap around my waist as the door to the restaurant squeaked back and forth. "Hey," Tomas and Vivi greeted in unison, giving me the strength to do something once more.

"You know the plan right?" I asked Holly and she grinned comically before high-fiving me. "I sure do! Even Ambrose does," The little boy blinked up at me with a wide smile, nodding. "I do, daddy," He even backed himself up and I sighed, ruffling his curls. "Okay, Tomas and I will go sit down," Vivi offered me an encouraging smile, a wink from her eyes letting me know that everything was going to be okay.

I watched as I shuffled Holly and Ambrose to the back before Joaquin could see them, eager to get this thing on and popping before I chickened out like the loser that people wanted me to be. I stepped back out, seeing the man that I loved remove his apron, cracking his neck.

"I'm going on break for a bit," Joaquin called out to me and I nodded despite practically shitting myself with anxiety. "We got it," Nathan, one of the cooks, motioned to me go out there. "So go on and get ready," I sighed heavily before trekking out to where Joaquin was chilling in the booth, a ball of nerves and jumbled thoughts as I approached him. "Hey babe, join me," He pointed to the booth across from him as he continued to play on his phone.

That damned phone.

Whatever. I rolled my eyes, taking a seat as I took a deep breath, knowing how this was going to plan out.

Lights. Camera. Action.

Through the kitchen door, Holly came barrelling through, carrying a plate of mozzarella sticks with marinara sauce, one of the things that Joaquin enjoyed eating. "Huh? What are you doing here?" Joaquin grunted in astonishment as she playfully bowed with a big grin. "Your appetizer, sir," She said before depositing the plate on the table and making her leave.

He went to dip a stick in the sauce when something caught his eye. I watched as he picked up the black placard, turning to show me that it had the word 'Will' inscribed in cursive. I shrugged as if I didn't know what that was and he just put it down, continuing to eat the sticks.

Phase 2.

Ambrose slowly and carefully stalked over to us, holding a bowl of fresh fruit and whip cream, a spoon on the underplate. "Here you go, papa," He beamed and Joaquin looked absolutely and irrevocably lost as he took the plate from the shorter boy. "T-thank you?" He stammered, trying to understand he was here. Ambrose skipped away, giggling to himself as Joaquin took the second placard off. 

"You?" He pointed to the card, sitting down with the other one. For a 32-year-old man, he was incredibly dense, but it was alright. I had to maintain my indifference and I raised a brow, wondering what he wanted me to do. He looked frustrated but oddly intrigued at the same time. "Why are they bringing me food? I didn't ask for it."

Phase 3.

"It doesn't matter," Nathan came out with a big shit-eating grin as he held a Polaroid mocktail in his hand, sliding it towards Joaquin. "Enjoy," He winked before walking away as Joaquin took off the placard, not even bothering to look at it as he slid it to the other pile. I pouted internally, watching his lips wrap around the straw so wantonly. 

Man, if those lips could wrap around something else...

Phase 4.

"And for the final piece, strawberry shortcake!" Adina hopped to us with Joaquin's favorite dessert in hand, said man's eyes lighting up like fireworks at the sight of it. I couldn't count the times that Joaquin had begged me to make him this and like the idiot that I was, I always gave in. Soon, the table was filled with plates and cups as Joaquin narrowed his eyes at the placard, ignoring the swing of the kitchen door as everyone came bounding around us.

I was sweating bullets as he mouthed the word 'me' to himself, the final card. The sound of classical music filled the air and suddenly, my mouth was dry as a light bulb went off in his head.

"Wait," He paused as everything started clicking together, unbeknownst to the immaculate smirk that was on my face as I watched him put the placards in order. I slowly stood up, reaching into my back pocket as I dipped onto one knee, watching him blink back and forth. "Will you marry me?" He read out loud before his eyes darted to me like a hawk, his mouth dropping instantly.

I knew I wasn't one for words because there was entirely too much that I could say, that I'd never get to the point. I figured that it would be best to do it quick and easy with the people he loved, and save the mushy stuff for when the time was right.

I knew that this was the best decision that I could've ever made and I did it in a place that he always loved to be in. There was no doubt about it as I whipped open the velvet box, hearing screeches behind us. "So will you, Mr. van Zante?" I winked at him, watching him gleam at the silver and yellow stone embedded ring, and he rolled his eyes, a blush staining his cheeks as he hopped out of the booth. 

I was so, so nervous, what would he say? Was it too early? Did I not time it right? Did I not say enough? "You fucking suck," He couldn't stop the big ass smile that surpassed his cheeks and the crinkles in his eyes as tears filled his eyes. "God, Cheyenne, you really know how to pull a fast one on me—" He sniffled before nodding, a bright glint in his eyes.

"Yea," He nodded again but with more force and a tear left my eye as suddenly, my life felt immensely complete. "There's no one I'd want but you," I cracked a small grin, sliding the ring onto his finger. This was a symbol of how much I would never give up on him, even when things got rough and he was annoying and I was irritating, I'd be there, standing by his side. He just made me the happiest person in all of San Jose, and I attested to that.

"Come here," He whispered and I stood up, watching as he leaned down to crash his lips onto mine, conveying all that he wanted to say. How important I was to him, how free he felt, how he addicted he was and by god, I felt the exact same.

So I knew it had to be him.

I pulled away with an embarrassed grin, knowing that it was far from over. The sounds of people clapping behind us gave me the power to pull Joaquin outside, eager for our own romantic moment. He looked at the silver band around his finger, shaking his head like he couldn't believe it.

"Hehe, I proposed first. You suck." I stuck my tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes, reaching over to pull me into his minty grasp. "Hm, you might be right babe, but I can't wait to see you walking down the aisle," He teased and I tilted my head, knowing that it was the best option. 

I smirked playfully, leaning forward to wrap my arms around his neck, looking deeply into his eyes, seeing the love that I felt for him mirrored in his. "Yes, because after all, I want your last name."

He raised a brow, quite surprised if I had to admit. "Is that so?" He placed a soft kiss on my lips, wanting to savor the moment as he held my waist gently. I had never known a love like this, but I was glad he was the one to teach me. He was the one who made this heart start beating, and it hasn't stopped.

Not that it would.

"Hold on, I got to send an important text," Joaquin kept one arm around me, pointing out the obvious as he began tapping away. All of a sudden, my phone rang with a notification and I hesitated to check, but Joaquin looked at me expectantly, a curve of his lips gracing his beautiful face.

[Today, 6:21PM]

Joaquin van Zante:

Rich boy, I have a fiance now.

I couldn't stop myself from bursting into a laugh, feeling tears sting my eyes from both amusement and happiness before texting back in the same manner that he had.

[Today, 6:22PM]

Cheyenne Thorn:

Me too! I got fucking lucky!

[Today, 6:22PM]

Joaquin van Zante:

Rich boy?

[Today, 6:23PM]

Cheyenne Thorn:

Huh?

[Today, 6:23PM]

Joaquin van Zante:

Look up.

So I did, and there he was, smiling down at me like everything was going to be so much better now. He then took my hand and placed it against his chest so that I could feel the beating of his heart. Then he spoke, looking deeply into my eyes, those brown orbs twinkling and his cheeks glowing from the haze of the sunset. 

"Thank you for giving me a reason to live."