14th Aug, 2018

In last week bayyan(Islamic lecture), the inauguration function in her area had gone too well. Most of the ladies are not that much educated but they could able to read and write. Some of the elders couldn't even know to recite Qur'an. Nearly forty ladies gave their names and Ridha was asked to distribute the application form and note their names and contact numbers to inform the Niswan madharsa's joining date and location. Ridha is the young aged girl among those women so she was given that work. She finished her work and given the note to the two elderly ladies who involved themselves to start this good activities by meeting with the mohalla(area) people. Later  she came to know that initially the madharsa is going to be in one of the those two lady's house. So she prepared herself and did ablution before stepping out of her home. She left her home excitedly to the newly welcoming Allah's lovable place. She paves in by uttering salam, "Assalamu alaikum"

She saw a girl in her age who covered herself with himaar(long sacrf), holding some attendance note, seated by the side of a small black board and some ladies seated infront of her, altogether replied for Ridha's salam. The very first day, Ridha is instructed to make thalim(Reading) so that remaining of them will also join the class soon. She gets excited and find little nervous to read. Even though she get that kithab(book) from the girl who is ustaad(teacher) for their Islamic class.

She started to read,
"Abu Dharr reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, came out during the winter while the leaves were falling from the trees. He took hold of two branches and shook them until the leaves fell. The Prophet(SAW) said, "O Abu Dharr!" I said, "Here I am, O Messenger of Allah." The Prophet(SAW) said,
"Verily, when the Muslim servant performs prayer seeking the countenance of Allah, his sins will fall away just as these leaves fall from this tree."
(Musnad Ahmad 21046)" and recited plenty of hadeedth about Salah (Prayer).

By reciting the importance of prayer and it's benefits, she thought about the Beneficient. Only her lord can be so kind to the one who makes sins, He is ready to forgive the people even the man makes multiple sins. Her Rabbu is only seeing the one who makes tawba(repentance) from their inner heart. While we(mankind) could not easily forgive the people who hurt our heart with their actions. Thatsy , He is our lord, We are His slaves.

Later, the ustad splits the class hours into five parts into learning thajweed, memorising, understanding fiqh, prophet's seerah(history) and knowing Arabic language. It's really amazing to cover every area of Islamic studies everyday. She also trains the ladies in Arabic handwriting and doing Amal for basic learners of Islaam. At the end of the class, when she is about to teach Gaffara dua, a small kid interrupted to say, "Jjjjeeeeeemmmmm". The little kid will be around one. He does not even able to speak a word. But by listening to the teaching of ustaad, he spoke out the letter 'Jeem' loudly.

Everyone surprised to see the little one's utterance. Ridha was happy to see that little one, hoping he should be there in their every class. He is too cute with his activities. Like other child, he didn't disturb his mother so that his mother could able to come to this class everyday. Really it's Allah's blessings for the kid to get Islamic knowledge into his memory. Even though he is not in the age to spell out proper letters or words. He doesn't even know what is that letter or why he came there. When everyone are leaving to their home, the little kid came near Ridha. She had a habit of raising her eyebrows to her favourite ones, especially to kids.

Once she raised her eyebrows at him, he keep on staring at her. She remembered Ahmed that time, he likes when she raises her eyebrows at him. This little child stares like Ahmed and smiled at her. Then his mother called him, "Naazi!! Let's go". The little one looks cute by its baby walk towards his mother. Ridha showed bubye to him. She has gone happily to her home with complete satisfaction of her heart with what her lord gave her that day.

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Ridha's Past starts:

When she is about to write her math exam in another hall in the same floor as she had the previous day, she caught by one entering her hall, took his seat near the window side, on the second bench from the front of the hall. Ridha seated at the last bench in the middle row. He saw her and Ridha suddenly acted like she didn't see him. There will be shuffling of classes for every grade students in her term exams. So Ridha was shuffled to Ahmed's exam hall, but she thanked Allah for being seated at the last bench, since she can alone see him while he cannot. If he turns also, surely he will be caught by the hall supervisor. With that hope, she began to write her exam freely. She love math subject very much, when most of them hate mathematics. When she got stuck with one problem, she gets disturbed by the one who seated four benches away from her. She saw him discussing something with the boy who sat before him when supervisor supervising something out of the hall. Ridha couldn't find her patience , she wanted to complain to the hall supervisor that they are copying each other but she said to her heart that 'it is none of your business'.

After she finished her exam soon, she again looked to the one who gone to sleep over the bench. She suddenly thought, 'He was totally annoying, At first he didn't care about the serious ness of the exams and copied his classmate, now he has gone careless and sleeping in the hall, Every boy will try to act as good man infront of his girlfriend, but he don't even mind that I'll think bad about his copying and careless attitude, How come he act so cool, Really he is irritating kind of boy' . Ridha is worrying inside her heart, judging his character without knowing herself and considering him without her knowledge. Thats why she is annoyed by Ahmed's attitude.

That day, Ahmed informed his class mate that he wanted to talk to Ridha. So he waited for her near that street asusualy. Ridha turned when he called out of her name and stood in front of her. She don't know how to convince him but she knows it won't happen till marriage because her family is too strict in love marriage and they won't accept when the relationship goes into haraam way. She also wished that this should not happen. It will affect both their lives in the future. She feared a lot about going against Islam and her parents.

On the other side, she got worried about Ahmed, who is not giving up on his side. It's been six months since he proposed her. He is keep on waiting for her positive reply. Ridha didn't get angry on him nowadays, rather she is worrying for him for his constant attitude towards her. With the thoughts, she stood in front of him by facing her own legs. Ahmed begin the conversation,"Assalamu alaikum".
Ridha kept silent, still facing down. He continued, "Sorry to disturb you again and again. But, why don't you have little feelings on me? Please Ridha, tell me why don't you like me? In what way, don't you like me? I need answer for this, please tell me and leave. I want you till my life ends, Please consider my love, atleast feel my love"
Ridha looked him once when he stress the last sentence 'feel my love', he put that word from deeper of his heart. She heard it so naturally and real. But she don't want to broke him at the time of marriage, instead she thought to act stubborn, so she lied, "I don't like you, I don't know what will be the reason for why my heart denies you, but this will not happen, so forget me, that will be good for you and for me". With this, she moved to her house. Ahmed's heart torned apart and he couldn't accept the fact that she doesn't like him. He knows he is not so islaamic as Ridha but he deserves to get a chance from her.

'Didn't I deserve her? Because of my appearance and qualities, did she rejected me? This is not my fault, but anyway I love her, I will not expect that she should love me because I'm loving her. This is impossible to take her from my heart. She is too beautiful in her way she does. Even she hurts me, that is not her real character, I saw her kind sometimes, she is just avoiding me now, In sha a Allah I'll have her as my wife soon' these thoughts were running inside his mind, without knowing that he reached till his home.

After reaching her home, Ridha went upstairs, and sat on the edge of the empty floor by letting her legs float on the side of her steps. It is a pleasant evening where flock of birds returning to their nest, pale reddish rays of sunlight scattered over the sky from the west and the dark clouds covering the sky from the east, the wind breeze blows lightly so that the tall trees waving its wings in the space. With that nature, Ridha sat there in a deep thought, letting her tears flowing from the eyes. This was the first time she cried for the one whom she doesn't have any kind of relationship. She didn't even know about his entire character. She saw him some times, his way of approach or his behaviour is gentle and real. Then why is she crying for him. What made her cry for him. She left unanswered.

Every time she find peace in her house terrace. Whenever she suffers any sort of pain inside her heart, a few hours of staying there with nature will give peace to her mind. Mostly she'll come upstairs when her dad beats her for little mistake she did in her little age. Then she itself will analyze her mistake and have some fun with the little stars among her one favourite star, counting it. But now, her life is turning her to a different phase called 'some feelings for someone' whom she didn't even know well.

When she liked to hear music for the first time in her VIII grade, she listened to its melodiness and it gave her some emotions, drove her heart so peaceful and gave her some happy feelings. The same day, her mother spoke to her about music after she returned home from her job . She still remembered Nisa's words, 'Today, I heard a bayyan, in that they told that hearing music is haraam(prohibited), thank Allah, we don't have such habits in our house, we prevented it before we hear the cause'. That day she really surprised that how her lord showed the guidance, and prevented her from distractions of the world in the form of her mother. Thats why her mother is always her well wisher.

Likewise she got this new feelings on the one who is really distracting her heart. So she didn't thought any thing about that and gone downstairs peacefully without stressing her heart and mind. She left everything in Allah's hands that he knows whom she'll travel throughout her lifetime.

Ridha's Past ends...

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A/N:
Eid Mubarak to everyone. This Eid is meant to remember the sacrifice of Ibrahim (AS) towards his son Ismail (AS). May Allah bless this Eid for everyone. We are in the first ten days of Dhul Hijjah, make more amals in the first nine days and celebrate the Eid on 10, 11, 12 and 13 th of this month by reciting lots of takbeer(Allahu Akbar)
Once again, Eid Mubarak dear readers :-):-):-)