8th August, 2018

'My dreams are washed off, my thought of going Umrah with my family are diminished, my ideas to do research get wasted,
So many companies, less no of vaccancies, so many competitors,
At last rejection, rejection alone,
No chance for me to get a suitable job any more,
All my dreams of six years leaving my way,
I have never faced this much rejection in my life,
Even finding suitable groom is easy , but finding suitable job is tough,
I have to spend a rest of my life to be in the four walls of home, my routine work will make me tired, many will laugh at my studies for my good grades in B.E. ,
Why did I wasted this much amount of energy and mind to earn these grades, Is this the only thing to earn happiness for my parents and the teachers?
Is it not going to be useful for my life? then why ain't I allowed to enjoy the days in my college or school by considering these credits alone,
It is only fake,
My knowledge is fake,
The quote 'opportunities knock the door' is fake, even though I knock the door of opportunity, it doesn't open for my dreams to shine',

With these thoughts, Ridha seated on the couch where she had come to attend interview for the position of network engineer, the HR replied to undergo paid training so that she will be assured with the job. They neglected her talent and only focussing to earn money and provide job. Education is currently going in the name of business and the business is growing additionally in the name of career.

She hated to be there. So she ignored the stupid offer and came outside. While checking the time to go home, a mail popped in her screen. She looked into it and her worried thoughts gave some assurance for her life to step into the multi tech company, HCL.

Dear Ridha,
Congratulations for being a part of our organisation. Get ready for the on-boarding!!!!
....
HCl Technologies ltd.

It was her off campus offer where she got selected four months back. She didn't hope more since it is huge multitech company who'll call the candidates any time when they needed. And she didn't know the location details, so she kept neutral hope on that offer. Now the same thing assured that 'the job location will be in Chennai' to her heart that her dreams are still alive.

With that satisfied heart, she had gone home and prayed shukriya nafeel(prayer for thanking) for the assuring mail she received. She thought of her Rabbu's test, whenever she lost her expectations and keep her heart to the zeroth point, her Rabbu will find her by His blessings.

She remembered a Qur'an verse, it's one of her favourite verse,

"But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you, And perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you.
Allah knows, while you know not."

Al-Quran(2:216)

This verse reminds many thing of her life. It's in Allah's hand to give what you really need. He knows what will be the best for you. She always believed in it. When she was in annual holidays of 6th grade, she got maturity from a child to a girl. Those times, she thought the fact that loving a person is wrong. She thought it as a very bad thing. She was too strong in it that she will never fall in love with any one except her parents. She saw some of her friends and seniors who fall in love with some boy soon after that boy propose and then they will worry when the boy or girl left them alone. She thought this is just a infatuation. There is no true love. It is all fake one by hurting their parents who gave birth and make them live in a luxury life. She believes the only one who deserves entire love is her parents because they look after her as a pearl in a shell. They valued her by teaching more values for life. They grown up her with lots of islamic knowledge. They gave more importance to worldly and hereafter studies. Her mom used to make her participate in any sort of events like doing speech, drama, choir, kirath, etc in order to make her brave enough to stand in front of huge community. Every time, Ridha's well wisher is her mother. She didn't even imagined that she will go against her mother's wish one day.

The day comes in her life where a man beat her thoughts, her views, broke her heart, broke her bravery, broke her anger towards men, gave her love, shown pure form of love as how her mother shows her everytime, made her understand that not every love is bad and ugly, there is some true love exist, a real love, but it took one and half years to prove her. He didn't know till now that she started loving him as much as she loved her mother.

Yes!!! Ahmed turned her heart to see the real side of love, his only love for her. Her love was the first thing she came to accept the fact that only Allah can give good things by proving some bad things are also good in some situation. Allah knows while you know not.

Since ninth grade, she theoretically learnt about her Rabbu and His ever cherishing blessings by going madharsa and summer islamic classes for only girls. But when Ahmed entered her life, she got to know what is struggle, she faced problem every day, she practically implemented her Deen towards her Rabbu, she felt so much close to her Rabbu during those days, she sobbed many days in thahajut prayer secretly to provide guidance for her and for the one who wants her love till death. She prayed isthikara to make a proper decision in her life which will not affect him and her and Islam. She got struggles and battles in the form of love, she cried and sobbed to her Rabbu. Atlast she found herself that her Rabbu is always be there with her. He test her, but He didn't leave her, He gave her toughest situations, but He gave her it's sweetness at the end. Now she believed Him entirely,
She realised,
'yes, it is tawakul,
Tawakalthu al-Allahu'
(Trust in Allah)

From that whenever she faced problems in life, she used to recite her favourite dua, which Ahmed taught her when he was in forty days jamath, till now she recited that dua,

"Hasbiyallahu laa ilaaha illaa huwa alaihi tawakalthu wa huwa rabbul arshil azheem"

"Allah is most sufficient for me, there is none worthy of worship except Him, I have placed my trust in Him, He is Lord of the Majesty throne"

Reciting this dua seven times daily after fajr(morn. prayer) and after asr(even. prayer), Allah will remove all their worries that day. She had seen its benefits in her life too. So whenever she worried, she will recite this dua seven times and leave her worries in Allah's hand. Even, the very toughest time blew her face, she recited it and thought it will make her strong and fade away her worries. By this dua, she got many magic happened in her life. But her magician is always her Rabbu.

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Ridha's Past starts:

Shabana came to her when she was sitting alone on the pavement of her school ground. She used to sit sometimes to watch the play area for KG and primary children. It was an evening time, all classes were over, it's time to go home. When she about to greet salam to her, she interrupted by a question "How your classes are going?"

"It's good sis, It's surprising to see you here" Ridha replied. "Yes I am little worried about Ahmed, so I thought to talk to you some and about his behaviour nowadays",she said.

Ridha kept silent and make her go ahead of her talk since she has respect towards her. Shabana continued,

"Ridha, understand him, I won't support any one who try to flirt or love for just time pass, but I didn't see such thing in Ahmed, he loses his concentration in class, making himself alone. He is serious in this affair, he want to take you throughout his life. He has such true love on you, I am her classmate and good friend of him, I am seeing his activities daily, yesterday he draw something in his note when teacher was taking class, it's some sort of love quotes and picture, it was nice, but he got scolding for not being attentive in class, he is disturbed by you, Atleast try to convince him and change him like first, he only listen to your words I think, please Ridha"

Ridha felt guilty about her words, 'why Ahmed chose me in this huge campus, how he noticed me when every Muslim girls were also there, was I the reason for Ahmed's behaviour, No, It's should not be that way. It's wrong, I'm just in my IX grade. This is fake, I don't have any responsibility to convince him. It's his life, he has to correct his behaviour. I'm correct, don't listen to anyone words, Ridha, they are trying to convince you to fell in the hole they planned, Be strong in your own decision', her thoughts finally made her strong from the shabana's empathetical words and Ridha kept silent and moved away to her home without responding to her.

It's been two months, Ahmed didn't ask her any; always he walks infront of her every evening. The sports day preparation were going in her school for a month. One day, her school principal announced captains and vice captions of four houses - Emerald, Sapphire, Ruby and Topaz.

The students of XI Grade is eligible for selection and she didn't expect that 'Ahmed' name will be calling out, she looked stunt when he was given the badge of sapphire house captain, the badge was in sapphire blue.

She got remembered that she was also made in sapphire team in her last P.T period, she was very happy that she like sapphire house since she like wearing dark blue coat instead wearing yellow or red on every Friday, but today she regretted why she was also chose in the same house where her house captain was Ahmed.

She was not good in sports, she hated running race, only she liked to participate is throw ball because she like to play in every P.T hours. So she has no other options than doing March Past on that day and it is mandatory for every students from VI grade. She hesitated to do that every year because of the whole month practice to perform neatly on the sports day, but there is no chance for her to escape, so she has to be present every morning and evening for one hour. And this year, Ahmed will be there that whole time with her on the ground, because he was her house captain, so he will be the one who will lead the march past of his housemates.

The same day, students are segregated for the respective houses after the day's assembly dispersed the ground. She met with the eyes who stares from the long, she suddenly avoid his gaze by talking to her friend. She later sighs him, she was instructing boys how to march, it looked cute of him, then he instructed some to the vice captain , who was his class mate hope so. After a while, she came to instruct us. Since Ridha was tall, she made to stand atlast of the right corner and made some practice that day.

She doesn't know she admired his every actions secretly, then she made her heart it was wrong and tried to make it stable....

Ridha's past ends.....

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