**Sang**

I wish I could tell you how the boys reacted to our little performance, but to be honest, I wasn't paying too much attention to them. Ryan stole my focus, just like he always does when we're up on that stage together. As he sang our cover for Fool for You, I was mesmerized, just like I always am. His lilting baritone always sweeps over me and settles down in just the right places.

I honestly can't tell you why it's taken so long for me to open myself up to him. To try and have him as more than just my best friend. Well, I'm sure I could come up with some reason, but it'd probably just be a cop-out. I love Ryan, and he means the world to me, but I guess I just couldn't put him in a position where he'd be a second thought in my mind, and still call him my best friend. He couldn't come as a second thought to them. He doesn't deserve that, and now, he doesn't have to deal with it.

I suppose it took me seeing them again to realize that I'm over them. Well, no...wrong choice of words. I still love them. I don't think I'll ever stop loving them, but I no longer need them the way I used to. And isn't that the way a healthy relationship should be any way? Poly or not, you shouldn't be with a person because they're all you know, because you need them to keep you safe. That's not healthy.

The girl I was before they left, she needed them to keep her safe. The only family she knew abandoned her and she had no one else but them. I'm not saying that my love for them was hero worship or anything like that, but they consumed my life. Kept me in a bubble not unlike the one North was always threatening me with. Closer to their departure they started to ease up a little, but by then the damage was already done. I had become reliant on them. I needed them to tell me which way was up. And then they left me and I had to figure it all out on my own. Except I wasn't alone. I made one phone call, and people that I hadn't seen in quite some time came in to pick me up and dust me off. I'm stronger because of them. Because of Ryan.

I went through a range of emotions concerning them after they left. Sadness because they left me alone. Anger because they promised me they never would. Depression because I felt like if they couldn't stick around, after making so many promises...who would? I guess that's how I knew that my love for them was real. You can't feel all of those emotions for a person you don't care about. I thought I'd never get over the gut wrenching, heartbreaking, soul sickening feeling of their betrayal whenever I thought of them. But over time, it hurt less. And then one day I was able to think of them with only a slight pain in my heart, telling me that what I felt was real.

And then they turn up again. I expected that feeling to come back again, but the main thing I felt when I saw them for the first time in two years, was annoyance. I was annoyed that they thought they could just drop by and everything would be the same as it was. As if they never left. Just walk in, 'hey Sang, we're back. Oh, by the way, we're in love with you'. Like they could just say all of that and I'd go running into their arms! It really made me think of how far I'd come, and how low I must have been if they thought that actually would've worked.

I've become a completely different person now. Yeah, my heart's still as big as it was, but it doesn't hang from my sleeve anymore. I keep it locked tight, right where it should be inside of me. I've learned the hard way that while love should be given freely, it isn't always in that person's best interest. People need to earn another's love. Work for it. That's how you know it's real and true, and truly wanted. So if they think that they can just walk up in here, say I love you, and everything will be all ice cream and sunshine, they need to think again.

After we left the stage, I was surrounded in a death grip by the twins. One on each side as they tried to squeeze the life out of me. At least, that's what it felt like.

"You were awesome out there, Sang!" Zerric squeals in my ear.

"Not that you're not always awesome," Darren supplies.

"Right!" Zerric continues. "It's just, dude! Their faces!"

"It was wicked," Darren finishes.

"Guys," Ryan chuckles. "Think you can try not squeezing the life out of her?"

"Oh, sorry Sang," they say together, letting me go and taking a step back.

"It's ok, guys," I chuckle. "I just wish I could've seen their faces."

"You weren't watching them?" Ryan asks, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I wrap my arms around his neck and go on my tiptoes to kiss him lightly. "No stupid, I was watching you," I smirk. "You're much more entertaining."

"Entertaining, am I?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Yup," I pop the "p". "Very much so."

"I'll show you entertaining," he growls, aiming for my neck.

"As much as I love you two being all...in love," Riss interrupts. "Maybe we could do this back at the house?"

"I was actually thinking about heading to the Toma's tonight," I tell them.

"Really?" Ryan questions. "What for?"

"We haven't seen them in a while," I shrug. "Those guys are like family. I miss them. Minus their crazy ex-girlfriend."

"No shit, they broke up with her?" Marissa asks.

"Yup, a few weeks ago. Raven called when it happened. Corey wasn't the happiest camper."

"Yeah, I bet," Darren huffs. "The twins and Marc really had it bad for her."

"Yeah I know," I sigh. "I'm just glad they had each other. Anyway, I just wanted to check up and see how they were doing."

"It has been a while since we've had a game night," Jaelyn speaks up.

"So what do you say? Sleepover with the Toma's?" I ask her.

"Let's do it."