~Sang~

We spent the rest of the weekend getting Karen settled into the house and keeping her mind off of Nora. Marissa helped a lot with that. They spent hours just watching movies and joking around, while one of the guys tried to keep my mind off of the boys. No matter how hard they tried though, they were always at the back on my mind. A niggling thought that would never fully go away.

It's now Sunday afternoon, and most of us are in the living room watching a Harry Potter marathon on t.v. when Jaelyn comes in the room.

"Hey guys, get ready we've got rehearsal in a hour."

Karen perks up from her spot on the couch next to Marissa, "Do I get to come?"

"Duh you idiot," Marissa jokes, punching her lightly in the arm. "You think we're just gonna leave you here? All alone in the house to twiddle your thumbs?"

Karen smirks, "I don't know. I was thinking of doing a little snooping. Maybe see what you use to get off," she laughs.

"Pics of you beautiful," Marissa winks.

They both laugh before getting off the couch and heading to the stairs.

"How long do you think until they do it?" Zerric asks with a laugh.

"Who says they haven't already?" Darren laughs.

"Please," Ryan chuckles, dislodging me from my place on his lap as he gets up from the couch. "Karen's clueless when it comes to Riss. She thinks Riss is only joking whenever she flirts with her."

Rolling my eyes at Ryan, I get off the couch saying, "I give it a week."

"I'll take that bet," Darren laughs, following me up the stairs.

"I say two," Ryan joins in.

"Week and a half," Zerric adds.

"Two days," I hear Jaelyn say from the bottom of the stairs.

We all stop short, looking down at her in shock.

"That'd be one hell of a rebound," Darren muses.

"Riss would be crushed if it didn't last," Zerric frowns.

"Deal," Ryan nods.

"Same rules apply?" I ask.

"Duh," Zerric replies.

I shrug, "I'm in."

"Let's do it," Darren smirks.

"Great," Jaelyn smirks. "Now go change!"

"Aye, Aye boss," we all laugh, heading to our respective rooms.

Fifteen minutes later, we're all back downstairs and loading into the van. Jaelyn drives this time, with Darren riding shotgun. I'm in between Ryan and Zerric on the bench, with Riss at the end, and Karen between her and Ryan.

When we get to The Club, the twins dad is there to meet us. The first thing he does when we walk in is ask what went down Friday night. He was out of town with his wife so we can all assume that he heard about it from the staff. Zerric tells him that it was a personal issue and that it wouldn't happen again. Thankfully, they're dad is pretty cool, so he let's it go.

Setting up on the stage, we start working on the set list for the next show. It'll be Valentine's Day so ideally we wanna do love songs. Cliche, I know, but it's what the people will want.

The setlist is as follows: Hold Me by the Heart, So Good, Steal my Girl, Wonderland, I'm Yours, Fool for you.

We're halfway through the set when I decide it's time to have a little fun. I motion to Darren to switch it up and start playing one of my favorites. He smiles and gives me a nod before setting up the next song.

Can't keep my hands to myself,

No matter how hard I try to.

I want you all to myself,

Your metaphorical gin and juice

So come on give me a taste,

Of what it's like to be next to you.

Won't let one drop go to waste,

Your metaphorical gin and juice

I sway my hips, walking up to Ryan while he leans on his mic stand with a smirk. When I get up to him I place my hand on his chest, dragging it down slowly, letting my nails scratch down his chest. A low growl emits from his chest while I continue to sing through my smirk.

I circle him slowly, my hand moving around his waist. When I get behind him, I grip his shirt in my hand, pulling him into me, singing in his ear. Well, as close to his ear as I can get. My wedged boots give me a bit of height, but I'm still a few inches shorter than him. So really I'm singing to his neck, my breath ghosting over the skin, raising the hairs on the back of his neck.

Turning to face the crowd I continue singing.

Can't keep my hands to myself!

I mean I could but why would I want to.

Ryan just stands there watching me while I move around the stage. His smirk gets wider whenever I move in closer to him. This is our safe space, up on the stage. Sometimes I feel like it's just the two of us in our own little bubble. Unlike the one that North would put me in, in our bubble we can be free.

At the end of the song everyone is in a fun mood. Karen starts a slow clap from the side of the stage which Jaelyn joins in on.

"Wow Sang, hot moves!" Karen cheers.

"Well you know," I shrug. "I try."

"Seriously," she continues. "Like, why are you guys not together? The chemistry is insane."

"You'd have to ask Sang that," Ryan replies, his smirk still in place.

"It's complicated," I respond.

"Why? Because those boys are back?"

"Pfft, no," I shake my head. "Those boys are a non-factor."

Which is partly true. Truthfully, I don't know why me and Ryan haven't gotten together yet. There is attraction there, and I love him like no other. Well, maybe except for the boys. Jae was right about me still having feeling for them. There's a thin line between love and hate and all that. I guess some part of me is still holding out hope that they'll like this new me. That they'll love me the way I did them back when we were all together. But I already have someone who loves me like that. Ryan's always been there for me, through everything.

"How about we finish up the set?" Ryan suggests. "We can talk later." He winks.

"Yeah ok," I nod.

We do the next couple of songs and finish up the set without any more changes on my part. After we finish, we grab some lunch and head back to the house. Marissa and Karen head to the living room once we get inside, and Ryan follows me upstairs while the twins and Jaelyn head to the game room. He follows me into my room and closes the door behind him while I sit on my bed to take off my boots.

"Ugh!" I groan. "These boots are killer!"

"They make your ass look great though," Ryan smirks, taking a seat next to me. "Give 'em here."

I twist my body on the bed, putting my feet in his lap. He takes the right one in his hands and starts to massage the ball of my foot. I move a couple of my pillows behind me and lean back. I close my eyes as he hits a tender spot, moaning at the feeling.

"Ahh," I moan. "This is why I love you."

"Ah, so you are just using me for my massage skills," he chuckles.

"Duh," I laugh. "It has nothing to do with how hot you are, or how you're always there for me, or mmmm, how you always listen to me."

"No, of course not. Just my awesome massage skills." He's quiet for a bit, his hands moving lower to the arch of my foot. "You know, Karen asked a good question earlier. We're good together, you know how I feel about you. Is it those guys? The Blackbourne team?"

"Nnooo," I moan. "No, it's not them."

"Then what is it Muse? I know you love me, I love you. What's the problem?"

I sigh, pulling my feet out of his lap and sitting up. Looks like it's time for some truth.

"Ry...I'm broken. I'm no good. The guys...they obviously left for a reason right? I'm no good Ryan."

"Hey Muse," he takes a hold of my chin and tries to bring my head up but I resist. "Sang look at me." I raise my eyes to see his fierce with determination. This may not bode well for me. Ryan always gets what he wants. "Sang you are amazing. Not everyone could go through the life you've had and still come out a better person. Not everyone could deal with the loss of the people who helped you get a better life. You are so unbelievably strong, and beautiful, and talented. You're amazing Sang. And you may have been broken at one point, but you are far from it right now. You are whole, and you are brilliant. Anyone guy would be lucky to have you. And I get that the Blackbourne's still have a place in your heart, but I know that's big enough for one more. Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me that, and this is the last we'll speak of it. Tell me Muse."

"I can't," I murmur. "You're not wrong. I do love you Ryan, but what if this doesn't work? What if us getting together ruins what we have? I can't lose you Ry. I can't lose you too."

"And you won't. Nothing can break us babe. We'll just take this slow yeah? Just...give me a chance."

Give him a chance. If I'm being honest with myself, I want this. But I can't keep the guys from my mind. What if it does work out for us? I can't hurt Ryan. There's no way the guys would accept him.

It's not about them.

Fuck thinking. Thinking hurts the team. Jump!

I really shouldn't be thinking about Nathan at a time like this, but his advice that day was sound. I should stop thinking. I should go after what I want. I should jump.

"Ok," I tell him. "Ok, we do this, we go slow. I can't lose you Ryan."

"And you won't," he stresses, taking my hands in his. "I swear to you Sang, you'll never lose me."

He leans in to kiss me, and I let him. I wrap my arms around his neck as his hands go around my waist. We sink back into the bed, and for once, I stop thinking. Thinking hurts the team, and I won't hurt us.