Dea buried her head in her hands. This can't be real. This isn't real.

She fought down the sob that surfaced. It was as if a whirlwind snuffed out the moment of respite. Here she was in one piece while Anuk was doomed to bear the fallout of her failure. She was the one who should have lost an arm. She was the one who should have been maimed.

As the tempest roared within, she tuned out the noise that swelled around her.

"Listen, folks." Nadie's yell rose above the clamor. "I'm going to go check up on Anuk and the others in the sick bay. We have to be ready for anything and decide our course of action. It's going to be a rough night, so get some rest while you can."

"I want to see him," Dea said, eyes boring into the captain.

"He's probably not even awake. You can see him later when—"

"Please."

Nadie finally acquiesced. As Dea followed behind in silence, the first stars peeked out in the inky blue expanse above.

The sick bay was located below deck. It was impossible to maneuver down the narrow steps in the military Cypod.

"Here, let me help," Nadie said, turning around.

Dea barely grabbed her ogi before the captain heaved her onto a shoulder. It was uncomfortable, but she made no complaints. Her short tresses dangled down and waved to the rhythm of the woman's motion. Anuk's alive. He's alive.

She kept repeating it while counting each step that popped into view. One, two, three and a dozen steps later, the riptide of guilt rushed against the hope in her heart. But he lost his arm because of you. Sagari and the others are injured or dead because of you. If you found a better way to get the prisoners out, this wouldn't have happened. She clamped her eyes shut to quell the horrific images.

They traversed through a narrow corridor, passing watertight metal doors.

Nadie gripped a handle and turned it. "We're here."

As the door hissed open to reveal the sick bay, Dea fidgeted and strained for a good view. The captain adjusted her weight and walked in.

The place bore a striking resemblance to a merman hospital setting, except for the lack of water. It was cramped due to several beds, medical equipment and supplies. Her gaze snagged on a water-filled tub squeezed next to a bed. Sagari was in it, plugged to a ventilator.

A merwoman leaned against the tub, applying moisturizer on her skin. It was none other than Gog, the nomad neuroscientist from the deep-sea lair. As Nadie passed her, she looked up and glowered at Dea, but said nothing.

The beds were occupied, and a medic was bandaging someone's arm. At the opposite end, green curtains obscured what lay beyond, which Dea thought must serve as an operating room or an intensive care unit. Her heart thumped louder in her chest.

A middle-aged man with glasses emerged, dressed in a simple green outfit.

"Doc, how's he doing?" Nadie asked immediately, coming to a stop.

"The surgery was a success." He wiped his forehead. "Needed a blood transfusion. He's stable now, but not yet conscious."

The captain sighed. "Thank you, Doc."

As Merlingo translated the words into her ear, Dea sagged against the captain's shoulder and pulled in a shuddering breath.

"It was also a novel experience working with a talented merperson." The man's eyes switched to Gog. "She knew how to optimize the operation for bionics."

"We'll send him to the deep when the transport arrives with the new gear," Nadie said. "It's on the way."

Dea closed her eyes and swallowed the lump in her throat. The rest of the exchange was about the other patients and the funeral arrangements for their fallen crew member. She also gleaned that Sagari had suffered a bad concussion, but apparently she would make a full recovery.

When Nadie finally strode towards the curtains, she steeled herself for the sight ahead. The instant they entered, Dea's eyes fell on the bed.

Anuk lay on it, covered with a blanket up to the waist. He was hooked to an IV drip. Electronics hummed and blipped. She stared at his profile, enclosed in an oxygen mask. A heartbeat later, her eyes shifted to the bandaged stump where his arm used to be.

An invisible hand squeezed her heart—vicious, hard and unrelenting. She sucked in one breath after another, each inhale grating on her dry throat. Her whole being might as well have been a withered leaf, battered by the elements.

Nadie didn't say a word as she lowered Dea onto the chair at his bedside. Then she just stood and watched.

A long minute trickled by.

"Takes me back to that time he broke his arm. I guess Doc never expected that one day he'd have to..."

Dea slowly swiveled up her head to look at Nadie, who towered over her. "How did you meet him?"

"Anuk was only sixteen when he joined Endera. He was a brilliant student and very much involved with conservation even back then—that's how we noticed him." A pensive look veiled the woman's face. "After seeing how passionate he was about the ocean, we had to recruit him. He spent quite a few school breaks on this ship."

"Oh..." Dea loosened her death grip on the ogi and waited for Nadie to continue.

"He eventually told us about merpeople and how he learned about them from the secret work his dad had been conducting for decades. We knew about his dad—Amil Abeykoon was a well-known inventor and oceanographer in Seren City. He had passed away at that time, so Anuk was living with various relatives. It was a day to remember when Anuk told us all this—we were blown away."

Nadie shook her head, obviously immersed in the memory.

"So you kept all of it a secret?" Dea whispered.

"That's right," she said and a tinge of bitterness entered her tone. "You can see the state of things. Every time our kind has discovered a new species or anything different, they tend to get exploited, experimented on or simply die out. We didn't know the government knew about merpeople already..."

Dea said nothing.

"Anyways, Anuk was very much a workaholic," Nadie continued. "I think it was also his way of coping. He had a lot going on—the loss of his dad, the loneliness and the dissatisfaction. Other than the work we did, he liked spending time with us. He tinkered with things, asked a million questions and was prone to accidents. He was somewhat different back then. More...angsty, kind of impatient and even cocky. I think he's a little bit of everything even now—don't get me started on the sass."

It drew a weak chuckle from Dea while a smile tugged at the captain's lips.

"He found his place with us. He grew warmer...happier. I think the promise of a better tomorrow gave him hope." Nadie bent down and patted the blanket into place, even though it didn't need adjusting. "He went on to do some amazing things at uni and became something of an entrepreneur with his robotics work."

"How did he end up actually meeting merpeople? And becoming the Sea Witch in the deep?"

"That's a story you should get him to tell you," Nadie said and straightened up. "He's an extraordinary boy. And he's like a little brother to me."

Dea just gazed at his face again. Lamplight outlined his sharp features, and a sheen of moisture beaded his forehead. She resisted the urge to tuck the stray curls away.

"I can't begin to imagine how hard this is for him," Nadie whispered, shaking her head. "He's still here with us—that's something I'm infinitely grateful for. But this...He needs his hands for his work."

The room gradually blurred as Dea's eyes brimmed with tears. She leaned forward and touched the one hand he had remaining. It was warm against hers. Tears streaked down and splattered on her skin at the point of contact. She hastily wiped away the wetness on her face.

The silence was pervasive but for the beeping of electronics. After a while, Nadie left. Dea's head started to droop, and she rested it on the edge of the bed.

As she lost track of time, she had a vague notion of people dribbling in to see Anuk. Her biological needs stirred, including the discomfort of drying skin, but she ignored them. As she drifted to semi-wakefulness, sinister wisps of nightmares crept into her mind.

She startled awake when someone shook her arm.

It was Tamara, the deckhand.

"Here, have some food," she said, pushing a bowl into her arms.

Dea had no appetite despite the emptiness that yawned inside. "Thanks, but I don't want it."

"Trust me, it'll help. And you need energy." Tamara offered her a tube of moisturizer. "Muda sent this. I think you could do with some. Look, your skin's starting to peel."

She glanced down at her hands. Flakes were indeed coming off. She took the tube.

"The merpeople went overboard, 'cause we don't have water or pods." Tamara turned to go. "Anyways, I'm heading to the berths. Need some sleep."

After the human left, Dea stared down into the bowl. It was a creamy golden soup with noodles peeking out. Yet again, she dwelled on the similarities they shared. She dunked the spoon in and brought up a soft whitish chunk covered with fried brown skin. Tofu. That's what he said it was.

Her mind transported her back to a moonlit house and Anuk's smiling face as they tucked into a delicious meal of fried land grain. A montage played in her inner eye—that of her splashing him, the annoying way he teased her and his laugh when the flag popped out of his toy gun. Then she relived the warmth of his embrace when he carried her in his arms.

Dea stirred the soup again and again. Finally, she forced herself to eat.

The nightmares that plagued her dreamscape now gave way to brighter visuals—born of memories that were no less painful. They might as well have belonged to a parallel universe occupied by a different Dea, who was oblivious and happy. She would never have imagined that on her eighteenth birthday life would spiral into a nightmare and that adulthood would rush at her with the force of an oncoming train.

She awakened to the subdued sounds of machines and waves. The room was now dim. She raised her head from the edge of the bed.

Anuk appeared the same, though the oxygen mask had been removed. His face was peaceful while his chest rose and fell at a steady rhythm.

Dea stretched her stiff limbs and applied more moisturizer. Soon after, she slid off the chair and perched next to Anuk's sleeping form.

"Anuk?" she said softly, even though she didn't expect a reply. "Maybe you don't want to see me right now...but I'm here. It just blows my mind that, after all I've done, you didn't hesitate to sacrifice your life for me. I can't even..."

Her voice broke. She blew out a breath, trying to contain her emotions.

"I don't have much time," Dea went on. "I don't want to leave without speaking to you. We're waiting to know what's happening now, but I'm thinking that Serendiva would deploy the navy—if it hasn't already. When that happens, Calliathron will engage them at the straits to the north of Seren City. Once the navy is crushed, Mora would launch missile strikes before sending in the land force. And I don't know exactly what Massa is planning..."

She shook her head, trying to keep her fear at bay.

"Anuk, I just want to say that I'm sorry." Her fists balled on her lap while she wrestled down a sob. "The decisions I made forced you to weaponize your work—what you obviously created for a future when things are different. I'm sorry I was so angry and hateful."

A cyclone raged in her brain, fueled by harrowing memories. It took a long minute to collect herself.

"I'm still angry—that's the truth. I can't help what I feel. It overwhelms me to think about what humans are doing and what Serendiva has taken from me. It fills me with rage when I think of what happened to my parents and...Burpy." She choked on the name and drew in a shaky breath. "What I've seen has probably scarred me for life. The nightmares won't go away..."

Nothing disturbed the stillness that enveloped her. Her ears picked up the faint noise of a snoring patient behind the curtains.

"But...I let my emotions cloud my judgment," she continued. "When I declared war against Serendiva, I never paused to think about those whom I'm flinging into the line of fire and the suffering that would inevitably occur. War was just abstract strategy in history books and tactical rooms—and people were just units and collateral damage."

Her mind strayed to the very first day she went to Fort Sol Dadva, as well as the subsequent meetings. At that time, she was nothing more than an empty shell that functioned as expected, performed duties and absorbed information.

"Everything's just messed up. And it's my fault." She rubbed her temples. "I have to stop this war. I have to stop Dilip. I don't even know how—I do have an idea, but I'm afraid of failure and being responsible for more suffering. I've screwed up, and the truth is—I'm a coward wanting nothing more now than to crawl into my pod right now."

Dea reached out a trembling hand and brushed the hair off his clammy forehead. "And it's up to me to forge Calliathron's future—and forgiving is as hard as navigating these treacherous waters we're in right now. I have to find a better way—it seems impossible, but it's necessary. I think you might be one step ahead of me there. I'm sorry that you're here right now because of me. No amount of saying sorry would absolve me of my guilt..."

An iceberg had lodged in her throat. She swallowed.

"I never thanked you properly for everything you've done for me. For coming to my rescue that very first night on land...on my birthday. And the delicious meal you cooked for me. You brine pool jerk—always annoying me." Dea let out a feeble laugh and dabbed at her leaking eyes again. "Now that I think about it, you've been there every time I needed you. I wish I could rewind time to that night I spent in your land lair. Thank you for believing in me and...I owe you my life."

Anuk looked as peaceful as ever, but no response was forthcoming.

Dea closed her eyes. "Please wake up. Please."

Seconds slipped by. The weight of the world bore down on her. It was nothing less than a miracle that granted her this moment with him, even though he wasn't conscious. A sob built up in her chest and burst out in a convulsive jerk.

"Hey," a familiar voice said in a quiet rumble.

She gasped, and her eyes flew open.

Anuk watched her, a weak smile hovering on his lips.

Animal: Sea Slug

https://youtu.be/KLVfWKxtfow