Redport

Tamara looked with wide eyes between her bloodied bedsheets and her handmaiden, Leena. "You've nothin' to be ashamed of, my lady," Leena said. "'Tis only a bit of blood." Terrified was a better word for how Tamara felt—she could care less about shame. What was she to make of this disgusting mess? Surely something was wrong with her insides.

It was still dawn. Leena had roused her just moments before. Tamara could tell something wasn't right, even then, but it wasn't until Leena helped her out of bed that the dull ache in her belly intensified. Even now, she hunched over and took several gasps of air. Seeing the mess only made the situation worse.

"Why didn't my mother tell me it would be like this?" she groaned. A painful spasm came upon her belly. Her hand clung to the bed's bannister for support.

"Mothers often make light of the situation," Leena said. "They do not wish to frighten their beloved daughters."

"Well!" Tamara took a steadying breath. "I promise you, I am frightened now!"

"Come now, my lady. This is a part of becoming a woman. You will get used to it. For most, the pain only lasts a few days."

"A few..." Tamara groaned and hunched over further, clutching her belly.

"Your mother will be so pleased to hear the news. I shall go and fetch her."

Tamara considered arguing. She did not want to be alone. But perhaps having her mother here was for the best.

As Leena was walking across the room, her chamber door opened. She turned to find Byron in the doorway. "What is happening here?" he asked. His eyes took in Tamara's doubled over figure and widened.

Tamara was overcome with embarrassment. Even in the early light of morning, the bloodied mess was unmistakable. "What are you...you cannot be here!" she hissed through clenched teeth.

"I sensed your distress and came at once." His brow furrowed.

"You should not see me like this. Please...go!"

"But you are in pain." When Byron looked at her handmaiden, he must have realized what was truly taking place. "She has reached her womanhood," he said matter-of-factly, looking at Leena.

"Aye, sire," came Leena's answer.

"Byron, go!" Tamara pointed at the door, trying to hide her exasperation.

He did not move.

"I will fetch your mother, my lady," Leena said. With that, she rushed from the room, making matters far worse. Now Tamara was alone with Byron. Her heart pounded against her chest and her breathing increased. It was utterly embarrassing.

Byron took several steps towards her. She held out her hand to stop him from coming any closer. When she noticed that her hand was bloodied, she swallowed and hid it behind her back. "Please," she whispered, putting her forehead against the cool wood of the bed's bannister. She still clung to it with her other hand. She closed her eyes and clenched her jaw, biting hard on her teeth. "I will be fine. I—I am told that this is normal."

"Normal? Seeing you this terrified is not normal. Blood is not foreign to me, Tamara. You need not be abashed."

"My word!" Lady Redwynn's cry silenced everything. Thank the gods! Tamara's mother would make things right. "Lord Byron," she said, "this is not the time for a visit. You must leave at once! Leena, bring Josephine and fetch some fresh bedding. I daresay you know how to handle this. Go quickly."

Tamara was relieved—more than relieved. She kept her eyes closed and felt her mother's cool hands upon her face, preening, comforting her. When at last she lifted her head and opened her eyes, Byron was no longer there. They were alone.

"Come now, a bath will be drawn. You must be rid of this sleeping gown. Take it off while your bath is prepared."

Several servants filed in behind Leena and Kenna Josephine—she thanked the gods that they were all female. The ladies chatted happily, as if this was a joyous occasion. It most certainly was not!

It took some time to get cleaned up. She felt much better after the hot bath they had drawn. It helped to ease her belly pain and relax her muscles.

"I am afraid the pains will come and go, my dear heart. Sometimes they will be short, and other times longer. I found that for me, they grew worse after having children, but everyone is different." None of what her mother said was reassuring. "Drink this. It will ease your pain."

She was handed a cup of hot tea. "What is it?"

"Aegan leaf, made into tea. Drink it when the blood comes. It will help. It is expensive, so use it sparingly. I have placed a small pouch on your bedside table."

Tamara did as she was told and drank the whole cup of tea. Within minutes, the pain disappeared, and she felt much better. The only thing the Aegan couldn't do was eliminate her blood. She felt disgusted with herself. How could she possibly stay clean under such circumstances? And this was to happen monthly?!

The women spent most of the morning in her room, instructing her on how best to handle these monthly nuisances. She was thankful that they had so much good advice to offer up. For the time being, layers of linen cloths were wrapped about her under her gown, and she was ordered to bed rest for the remainder of the day. No complaints were given, as she had little interest in leaving her room in such a state.

When it was time for the evening supper, Byron called upon her.

"My lady, your Drengr is here to see you," Leena said. "Shall I permit him?"

"Show him in," she mumbled. "And you may leave us, for now."

Byron rushed to her side, fussing over her. She apologized for being short with him earlier, and he returned such sentiments for barging in during her private time.

"I admit, it was selfish of me," he said. "I understand that reaching your womanhood is a turning point in your life—a female affair. I only wanted to ensure that you were well. You are mine to protect, and that"—his eyes grew fierce—"is the ultimate responsibility. I bear it gladly."

Her skin flooded with heat and she turned her gaze away, suddenly shy.

She and Byron visited for some time. The servants brought up enough supper for two. She was glad to have Byron all to herself. As they ate, they discussed simple matters. But after a time, thoughts of her father drifted to her mind. "My father still avoids me," she said. She had been dying to bring up the subject, but they had gotten little privacy since arriving in Redport.

"Your father is always cordial with me. In fact, he requests our company in four days. He wishes for a private meeting."

She frowned.

"Perhaps it is nothing—perhaps it is something. I cannot be sure as of yet, but I will look into the matter. You are right though, it seems as if your father avoids you." He sighed. "I will hope for the best—that your father wishes to make peace with you."

She offered Byron a slow smile. She wanted to believe him, to adopt his optimism. "I hope you are right. Unfortunately, where my father is concerned, I have nothing but distrust." She shook her head, her feelings souring. "Today would have been a glad day for him—me reaching my womanhood. He will never forgive me for weaseling out of his grand plan. To think"—she closed her eyes, picturing the path her life might have taken—"I might have been planning my wedding now..." Her heart raced for several moments. She felt a warm touch upon her hand and opened her eyes to Byron. In that moment, everything she felt, changed. Her emotions were soothed, her heartbeat slowed, she relaxed.

"Your bravery saved us. Lord Rhal would have whisked you away to live forever in his castle as his lady. It is not a bad position—though it is not a position meant for you. I imagine many maidens would gladly take up such a life."

"Not this one." She shook her head as she thought of the women who would be happy as Lord Rhal's lady. "I am not like them..." she said at last. "My purpose is not to sit and look pretty. I do not wish for a life of begetting children to ensure that my lord's legacy will win out." The way she said it illuminated her outlook on childbearing.

Byron frowned. "And what of my legacy?"

Her eyes widened. "I did not..."

"You do not wish to have my child?"

"I did not mean it like that." She looked away from him as she picked at the embroidery on the bedspread.

"My family's line is an ancient one, and I am the last living heir. Reyr will never have children. As you know, only one child is born..."

She was well aware of Queen Isabella's Price—she was disgusted by it. How could she deny Byron a child? She gazed up at him, intent on making this known. "For you, Byron, I will take pride in bearing a child."

Byron smiled, his upset quickly erased.

Tamara's chamber door opened and Lady Redwynn entered with several handmaidens in tow. They sent Byron on his way. Supper dishes were cleared away, and Tamara was prepared for bed. Her mother fussed over her, as she had done since Tamara's arrival. Tamara tolerated the attention, knowing it would be a long time before she saw her mother again.

"Mother, might I ask you something?"

"Anything, dear heart." Her mother helped her with the remainder of her nightgown, and then helped her back into bed.

"Jonah once told me, when I was younger, that you nearly died giving birth to me. Is that true?"

After a brief silence, her mother answered. "It is true. You were the most difficult to bring into this world. But how I longed for a baby girl, and how I rejoiced when you were born. Perhaps such gladness brought me back from the brink of death. I cannot say."

"I fear the idea of having children. I fear death and—"

"You would be silly not to fear, my dear child, to some extent. But the gods made us for such a purpose. Asjaa the Mother smiles upon you. But do not fear needlessly. The act itself is painful, yes, but it is the most beautiful event you will ever experience. Besides, once you are a Rider, you will not be as weak as humans are. You will have Byron's strength."

"I do not think I wish to have children, but I could not bring myself to say it to Byron. I know he longs for an heir."

Her mother chuckled. "I daresay you will not have much of a choice in the matter, my dear. When you love a man, as you will love Byron, making such a choice does not come easily. While there are magical remedies to keep a woman barren, I doubt the magic of the Drengr will allow outside forces to interfere with fate."

"Oh...I had not thought about that." Once again, she inwardly cursed herself for being so naïve.

"I suppose I sheltered you far too much, but I had hoped to explain things like this to you before your wedding day. I admit that the manner of explanation was not as I had hoped. Now, to bed. You have had a taxing day."

Her mother bid her goodnight, and at last she was left alone. As she lay beneath the covers she imagined many things, including what it might be like to make love to Byron. In the darkness, she decided that perhaps a small child in the likeness of her mate was a thing she could cherish rather than fear. With Byron, fear was more difficult; perhaps once they shared minds, there would be no need for it. She smiled at the thought. Yes, perhaps...

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