Dad Joke of the day: My friend couldn't pay his water bills.
So I sent him a "get well soon" card.

---

Somin didn't quite catch Jae's ranting until the older girl burst into tears.

It was like any regular day through their preparational period prior to the much-anticipated two-week trip to Japan. While they still had several scheduled appearances in Korea, Cube's key focus was to prepare the girl group for everything they might encounter in the foreign land. In between learning sufficient Japanese phrases, polishing their accent and choreography for the new single, the five girls barely found any time to eat, sleep, or simply rest. Every day was more stressful than the previous one but they pulled through with the hope of seeing their families, especially since Chuseok arrived before their departure to Japan.

The five female idols returned to their label's head building for dance practice quite early in the morning after an insufficient three-hour rest. Among the many things that troubled Somin's mind, a fresh addition had been made only a few days ago. Choi Jiseok.

She couldn't comprehend the situation with a clear vision at all. According to what Sooyoung had assured me, the guy had been kicked out of SM for good. With no way back, since his actions had been exposed to the camera's eye. Her frown deepened as the confusion heightened.Then what the hell was he doing in the waiting rooms that night? Looking dressed enough that I can't even call him off as unemployed. 

"I was wondering if these reality shows give you scripts?" Jae voiced out her concerns.

Rio shrugged, "Depends on what it is about?"

"Well, how about 'We got married'?" Jae asked carefully. "All the things the couples say to each other... is it what they truly feel?"

Saebyul shook her head, "I doubt it. I heard couples are strictly instructed to follow the lines they learn for every scene."

Jae breathed in relief. "Oh..."

"But some couples develop such a good chemistry that even the script isn't so romantic." Ariya pointed out. "Take all the famous ones for example. The reason they become a hit in the show is that they look too good with each other. Too perfect to be fake."

"Hmm... I saw the ranking list for this season. Sungjae sunbae-nim ranked first with his partner." Saebyul informed, trudging her way through the vacant halls of their agency. "It's your friend he's married with, isn't he, Somin? What does she say about it?"

Somin's gaze was trained in a distance and the thoughtful expression on her face suggested that the words hasn't quite reached, her head was locked up in questions of her own. What if SM rehired that creep? Or any other agency? She bit her lip. And what does he mean that I should be careful? I have nothing to be afraid of, right?

"They trended for two days straight after their recent episode!" Rio's head bobbed up and down quickly. The girls entered an elevator for the fifth floor. "That's what you call a power couple!"

Jae's mood turned sour, she heaved a dejected sigh leaning against the cold steel wall, recalling all the times she witnessed the public gushing over the famous couple. She was well aware of the love the two received. "Why do you ask, though?" Ariya asked. Jae mumbled something indistinct, wanting the matter to be closed down immediately before her mind tangled anymore.

"What if one of us gets to star in that show?" Rio's face lit up like a 100-watt bulb. She squealed, clutching her leader's arm in excitement. "Heol, what if I marry anyone from Exo? In the show, I mean!"

The girls shared a chuckle. The bounce in Rio's footsteps was quite obvious as she skipped the whole way, adorning a thrilled smile as is floating on the seventh sky. 

"Aren't they too old for you?"

"Huh, age is just a number!" She pouted. "And they're still young!"

"Alright, alright." Ariya laughed.

"So, which one will look the best with me?"

Jae scowled, as they took the final steps towards their dance practice room. "Okay, that's enough now with that stupid show!"

"You're the one who started--"

A loud, horrified gasp left Saebyul's mouth, her eyes fixed at their company bulletin board hung on the wall. The girls followed her line of vision, spotting a note in bold letters: 'WATCH OUT YOUR WEIGHT'

It was a list concluded according to the weekly weight inspection of all the artists under the label. Among them, fifteen trainees and rookies were specifically pin-pointed who weren't following their diet properly and had gained fat. An act purposely done to abash the occupants of the list, to humiliate them as a warning. Unluckily, Jae's name was placed at sixth from the top.

Jae's eyes widened in disbelief as she neared the board, her fingers wavering over her name. She was frozen in shock. AURORA JAE--- 51 Kg. "That's not--- that's--" Her voice quivered, breath got hitched in her throat and the next second, her face disappeared behind her hand. Tears slowly spilled over and slid down her face like a river escaping a dam.

The sound of her sobs snapped Somin back to her surroundings. She'd already gone a few steps ahead of her bandmates, but turned around in bewilderment. "What's the matter?" She glanced at the list, and exploded in a flash, "Holy shit!"

Her dramatic scream resulted in Jae's cries and incoherent complaints to increase. Jae's shoulders shook like a leaf. The last few weeks had been difficult for all of them, and seeing her efforts unappreciated right in front of her was the final blow for Jae.  The girls tried to comfort her with pitiful looks and ineffectivewords. Somin declared angrily, her face ablaze with annoyance. "This is outrageous! Who gave them the authority to expose it like that for everyone to see!"

"And in the middle of the Head office, at that!" Jae's wailed.

"I can't believe this." Saebyul shook her head sadly, wrapping an arm around Jae.

"The audactiy of these people..." Rio frowned. "Don't cry, unnie."

"Don't worry Jae, I'm going to have a word with manager unnie about this!" Somin warned, sticking out a threatening finger determinedly. She was one to take such things as a matter of personal pride. "We've debuted already, they have no right to--"

"What's all this noise, girls?"

They whirled around to see their senior most idol, HyunA, heading towards them with a good-natured smile. Jae's wet eyes widened as she shuffled on her feet to block the bulletin board. 

"Nothing, sunbae-nim! Good morning!" Saebyul hastily bowed, urging others to follow her. HyunA frowned, sensing something was wrong when she noticed Jae's half-dried tears. "Oh dear, what happened?"

"There isn't--"

"Oh, come on! Somin groaned. "She's one of us!" She elbowed Jae aside, pointing towards the list. "This list is supposed to be for trainees and rookies only. It's already bad enough to pressurize us like this. Why on Earth would they disgrace an idol like this?!"

HyunA threw one glance at the list and sighed sadly, "We've all been there. One thing or another, it has happened to all of us. Adding her name among all the trainees is supposed to embarrass her enough so that she takes her diet seriously. It's unfair but you can't fight them over this."

"Well, watch me." Somin huffed irritably.

The younger girl charged towards the adjacent hallway, headed to the administration supervisor's office, but a hand firmly halted her progress. Aurora's manager was just in time to analyze the situation enough and stop Somin from blowing up the entire office and stir more trouble for herself. Mr. Lee raised an eyebrow. "Back to your practice room."

"But-"

"Now." He glowered. "I'll join you."

Somin sulkily stomped towards the said location with the girls following behind timidly. As promised, Mr. Lee entered the brightly lit room shortly after, "How many times do I have to remind you that what you were running off to do is my job, Somin. I'm the one to represent you for the company."

"Well, might I tell you what they've done with Jae or you know it already?" She shot back.

"I know." He sighed and turned to face the sniffing girl. "All you have to do is follow the diet plan from now on. The results will be taken down next week."

"Next week?" Somin asked.

"And let everyone laugh at her face till then?" Saebyul asked.

He shrugged. "It's her fault that she doesn't--"

Jae cried out, "I'm so sorry, please erase my name from there. I'll do everything you say!" Her face contorted in anguish. "I wouldn't eat for days! But I can't live with the embarrassment."

He shook his head and left. "I'm sorry."

Aurora didn't know if it was right to feel betrayed at this moment. These managers were afterall the company's employees, only 'pretending' to assist them. With a dejected mood and low spirits, the girls began dance practice upon Saebyul's insistence. It was hard for Jae to concentrate and she kept falling behind in the moves. After two hours of training, Rio pleaded for a break and it was then that the girls went different ways.
I was then that Jae received a text.

Hey there, this is Sungjae :)
Jaekyung?

Eyes bulging out, she gaped at the words, reading them again and again. Gosh, he even used my real name! Her poor heart didn't know what to feel. For a moment, she was delighted to see it but then her mind brought back the image of her name and her weight causing her to groan in embarrassment. He must have seen that too! Oh, Lord!

"What's the matter?" Somin, who was the only one left practicing her moves in front of the mirror, raised an eyebrow. 

Jae scooted closer to her and showed her the screen. 

Somin's eyes scanned it and she smiled a little. "Congratulations."

"No, but, shouldn't I block him?" Jae wondered. 

"Are you crazy?"

"They've already made a huge fuss of my weight. Next thing I know, Cube starts bashing me for chatting with a male idol!"

Somin chuckled at her bandmate. She knew Sooyoung would do anything to be in her bandmate's place today. "I'd follow my heart if I were you." She got up."But it's up to you." She left the practice room, leaving the older girl staring at her cell phone in confusion. 

-

"Have I told you how lucky you are to have a spacious practice room all to yourself?"

HyunA turned around in surprise when a new voice interrupted her dance session. She spotted her young friend enter the room, without announcing her arrival by a knock or any sort of greeting. Typical of Somin. She smirked. "Yes, quite a lot of times, actually."

Somin nodded. "Good. One should never forget their privileges."

HyunA rolled her eyes and told her backup dancers to have a break while she could chat with Somin comfortably, enjoying their privacy. Once they were left alone, she took her place on the couch and Somin leaned against the mirror. "So did you guys settle the drama that occurred in the morning?"

"No." Somin scowled. "It's impossible to get something through their thick head. I can only wish they'll get better."

She shrugged. "I told you."

"You know," A pensive expression took over Somin's face. "Sometimes I wonder when will things get better for us. When this mistreatment ends, if we'll ever get actually paid for everything we're doing. In terms of money, care, and acknowledgment."

HyunA assured her friend, "You will. That day isn't very near but it is certain. But nothing's easy, Somin. You need to get through a lot."

Somin shot her a grateful look. "Yeah... debuting isn't when you achieve your dreams. You have to stand out for that, outshine everyone else." 

HyunA grinned, nodding.

"So, what's this I hear about you and a trainee?"

HyunA gaped at her. "How do you know?"

"Somebody told me." She smiled teasingly. "So it's true?"

HyunA sighed with an unsure expression, "I guess... but it's nothing real, or actual. You can call it... a crush?"

Somin joined her senior on the couch. "Does he like you back? Who is he? What's his name? Do I know him?"

HyunA laughed at the train of questions. "Yes, I think so. Hyojong, do you know him?

Somin didn't have to rack her brain for more than a minute to recall her former fellow trainee. "Yes! Gosh, he's that-- that... I-I remember him!" Then she frowned. "Hang on, he does reciprocate, right? He looked pretty quiet and shy the few times I interacted with him."

HyunA pouted, "I really hope so. We've just had a few conversations and--and, oh Somin! he's really similar to me. We bond over so many things." Her face lit up. "I haven't met a person like him before. But he doesn't know of my feelings yet. His ignorance is really frustrating sometimes."

Somin nodded, smiling a bit. "I can imagine." 

After a pause, HyunA shot a glance at her friend. She spoke in a false chipper tone, "By the way, I think you have a confession to make too."

She studied her carefully. "What? No..."

HyunA smirked. "I overheard your manager scolding you at the award show last week." Somin bit down on her lip. "About disappearing from your table out of a sudden in the middle of the show. Now I'm experienced enough to know why people do that. What are there motives usually--"

"Okay stop, you sneak." Somin rolled her eyes. "I'm dating someone."

HyunA gasped, hitting her in the sides.

"You'll have to guess who."

"Oh my god, look at you!" HyunA shouted, mocking a dramatic look. Somin quickly quieted her down before she created a bigger scene. 

"Eunkwang? Leader of Btob?"

The younger girl made a face full of disgust. "Oh, for heaven's--where did you even get such an idea?!"

HyunA shrugged. "He's always staring at you."

"No, no, not him." Somin cleared quickly. "It's not someone from here." She pressed her lips in a thin line. "Okay, since you're so bad at guessing--"

"Or maybe because you're dying to tell someone?" She smirked. "Show off that you have a boyfriend."

"Forget about it."

"Aish, I'm sorry!" HyunA insisted. "Come on, I was just kidding."

"Oh Sehun." She smiled coyly. "Of Exo."

HyunA's jaw dropped, her eyebrows almost touching her forehead. When she remained dead like a stone for a few minutes, Somin raised an eyebrow and tried again awkwardly. "Uh, he's their maknae--"

"Of course I know who he is!" HyunA hit her on the arm for even coming up with the absurd idea that she wouldn't be aware of the famous idol. "You're joking."

 Somin just grinned. 

"Do your bandmates know about this?" She sounded worried now.

"No, they'd kill me," Somin answered solemnly. "For real."

"Oh. That's nice, uh, I guess... not the killing part! I meant the relationship." HyunA replied, holding an expression that didn't entirely display happiness. "I'm really happy for you, Somin."

Somin's eyes narrowed when the next words seemed to be stuck in her unnie's throat. She could sense something else was coming. "But...?"

"But have you talked things out with him?" She continued with a concerned expression. "Since you both aren't under the same label, things will be... hard and, well... not as you imagine. As much as I've heard from the staff, Papa Hong looks up to you the most from your group. And he would never let your talent or the money you can make go to waste just because of a boy, he would never allow you to put your reputation at stake and date so easily."

Somin looked down at her lap, exhaling deeply. To be perfectly honest, such queries tangled her mind too, leaving her to feel vulnerable and defenseless against the tight, crushing shackles of her agency. The people who would do anything for money, will they really have a shred of humanity and let her be with a person she wants to? If I'm allowed to choose my dreams, why can't I be allowed to choose the person with whom I want to live my dreams? 

Why are there so many hurdles, so many complications. But the more important question is, Is Sehun willing to face them with me?

-

With nervous steps, Somin headed to the recording studio, situated in the south division of Cube's head building, that had a digital audio workstation. However, the reason for her jumpy nerves was only not the fact that she was going there to work solely, and not with her bandmates, but also because it was the first time her agency approved of a song she'd written all by herself. It was a big moment for Somin but she was too busy praying for a successful first solo single to celebrate her accomplishment. 

The day before, when she was in bed lying sleeplessly and trying hard not to miss her boyfriend who was currently on tour in a country she didn't try to remember. At that lone moment, she received a call from her manager who was out of breath, screaming to Somin that her first song was approved by Cube's founder, Papa Hong himself and following its music composition, Somin was going to start recording it today.

Her steps halted before the glass door, she held her breath to compose herself. To distract herself, Somin checked her inbox to see if Sehun had left any message to motivate her, after all, she'd texted him all about her strangely giddy self. Upon seeing no message to cheer her, she sighed, pushing open the door. He must be really busy.

Her presence was greeted by manager unnie and the recording crew. She gazed at the room, the lights on the live room and were turned on, heavy music equipment could be seen inside. There was a working studio outside the live room. The place smelled musical. She wondered if such a feeling even existed. The only person she recognized was Big Sancho, a notable music producer of her agency. She bowed to all of them, her fists clenching tight. "Hi, I'm a big fan of your work. I didn't know I'll be working with you! But it's a pleasure, of course."

He was a bulky guy, looked in his thirties, and supported a warm, toothy smile. His music record was pretty impressive and everyone recognized him. "I reviewed your work myself. It was good but there are still many improvements to be made." He showed her to a seat in the huge control room. "We sorted out a few music pieces that will fit with the draft. Have a look."

Somin quietly nodded. She was soon played numerous instrumental pieces on the speaker. Most of them bordered on the range of Pop and EDM. She instantly fell in love with all of them but keeping in view the theme of her song, she said, "I was thinking if we could open the song with an acoustic guitar? How would a few chimes sound?"

She was happy to see others considering her suggestion. "Because you see, the lyrics in the very beginning emanate a gloomier vibe and I don't want to ruin that with bass." They tried to reach her request and once her proposed addition was mixed, they all agreed that it did sound well. A wide smile jumped to Somin's face, she felt confident in her skills and became more open to all ideas she came up with instrument and synth mixing.

In a few hours, Somin had singled out a track produced by Big Sancho himself. Although not required, Somin participated in the song arrangement eagerly. Her spirits had lifted. A surge of excitement flew through her veins and she found it hard to sit in one place. She couldn't wait to tell her bandmates and Sehun about this new experience. She craved to see how the song would come out. 

During the break, she pulled her manager to a corner. "Unnie," She whispered urgently.

"Yes?"

"I'm feeling nervous about the recording. What if I don't do that well?"

The woman smiled. "I think you'll do great. I'm already surprised by your suggestions about how you want this song to sound. By the lack of interest you showed earlier, I thought we were going to push you around for everything."

She smiled sheepishly, "Yeah, I didn't look forward to it but I'm thrilled about it now!"

"If you receive a positive public opinion, Papa Hong said he wants you to participate in every album Aurora releases." Her manager shared.

Somin bit her lip, her face bursting in a dazzling smile. If there was anything she admired about her agency, it was their encouragement for artists to make their own music instead of only singing what the company gives them. They supported them to become independent in their ideas, that's what set them apart.

"But still, I don't think I can do this alone. Not for the first time." Somin's brows knitted. "Can't I have one of the girls sing with me?"

She frowned. "I wasn't expecting that. I thought you'd welcome a chance to shine on your own?"

"That's not the point." She complained. "I know I'll mess up if I don't have anyone else."

Her manager gave it a little thought, the nodded shortly. "I'll take up your request with others."

"Great! I also want to have a few lessons with any vocal teacher before I record. This has to come out perfectly." She told her manager resolutely. "Can you arrange that?"

"Sure!"

-

"Cut!"

The girl group scattered in the set once the camera stopped rolling. They'd got up early morning, 4 a.m in the morning to be exact, to shoot a scene for the Japanese MV. It was a shot that had been postponed for a long time because it needed to be done precisely at sunrise. So five girls traveled to the filming site with the MV production team. With today being the first public holiday for Chuseok, the roads were mostly empty, especially at that time. 

"Are we free now, manager unnie?" Rio asked expectedly.

The woman shook her head. "You still need to film the Chuseok celebratory video. And there are more schedules after that. So, will you stop asking that?"

She sighed sadly. It was Rio's first Chuseok without her family and it was hard to not burst up into tears every time she tried to remember how they would be rejoicing in her absence. 

As they returned to their building, the girl's hanboks were waiting for them in their dressing room. Seeing the gorgeous traditional dresses, lifted Rio's mood. She quickly changed in her sky-blue embroidered silk gown, going in circles on her feet, and delighted to see the dress puff up so elegantly as if she was a princess. Her bandmates giggled seeing her, Somin followed next. Her pastel green one expanded like a balloon as she rotated.

Ariya couldn't contain her laughter as she warned. "Don't! You'll feel dizzy!"

A room echoed with cheerful squeals, and they almost didn't notice the camera snapping. Seeing the sudden intruder, a female photographer, they stopped. She smiled at them, "That's right, girls! I want the same smiles on our promotional video!"

The girls soon learned that the dresses they adorned were sponsored by an emerging local brand 'Danha Seoul'. They were quickly led in the makeup room to receive a touch-up. The theme was supposed to be graceful and light, the reason why dull shades were applied on their lips and eyes, making them look ethereal.

After Somin's glossy hair was pulled into a slick bun, with her hair parted from the center, she quickly pulled out her phone and clicked a few selfies. She intended to send them to Sehun. Due to his tour, he was too occupied to even see her messages on time. She realized her life was prety much boring if he wasn't around. She was lucky if she got a reply once every few days. But knowing that he would at least see them, she tried not to feel disappointed and waited patiently for his return.

Rio, whose hair was being knotted into intricate braids, held a deeply thoughtful expression. She called, "Somin?"

"Hmm?"

"I was thinking about something. It's confusing."

The girl raised an eyebrow. 

"Which Exo member would look best as my husband?" She went on with a serious, worried tone. "I've been thinking for a week but why can't I come to a conclusion."

Somin burst into laughter. "Are you- are you crazy?!"

Rio frowned. "Okay, okay, no need to poke fun of me."

"Where would you even get such an idea?"

 "I know it's impossible for a girl like us to get a chance but even so--"

"Why does it sound so impossible?" Somin's lips curled into a frown.

The maknae rounded to give her a are-you-really-that-stupid look. "Because it's us. Unknown, unnoticed girls, almost nobody." She shrugged. "That ain't Exo's level."

Somin rolled her eyes. "That's ridiculous."

"Nope. I expect the best, most perfect girlfriends from them... if they really must have one." Rio wrinkled her nose, disgusted even at the mere idea.

Somin's scanned her reflection in the mirror. Is that what all fans think? Will they ever accept me as Sehun's standard? Am I always going to be a villain for a fandom who expects such godly perfection? She tried to not let it get to her nerves, but it wasn't easy.

She gasped when her phone vibrated, spotting the green dot beside Sehun's profile. All of her concerns washed away. Somin's heart leaped when he started typing to answer her last message which was: I heard last night's show was epic. 65,000 fans, huh? That must be a record! :D

[Thanks]

I'm feeling proud!

[You sound like a fan too, you know]

Despite not being able to see him, Somin knew he was smirking in that teasing way she was annoyed of. 

I don't!

[Good. I don't date fans]

She rolled her eyes. How come you're available at the moment? Don't you have a... I don't know... a crazy, worldwide, sold-out concert or anything?

[Yeah, just waiting for my turn in the makeup room.]
[Here's a proof]

Lmao XD
I believe you now.

[So, still working on Chuseok?]

She sighed. Yeah...
 we might get some hours off but not allowed to go home. What about you?

[Flying back tomorrow night. I'll probably get to spend the main holiday in Seoul. Hopefully.]

Wow, that's awesome! Can we meet? 

[Oh.
I'm really sorry.
I told mom I'll come over for dinner.]

Somin slapped her forehead inwardly for even coming up with that absurd idea. It's obvious he'd go visit his family. It was a family holiday, a type of thanksgiving and he probably hasn't seen them in months. Of course, I understand. Maybe I'll just meet up with a few friends.

[Good. Which friends?]

I don't know.
Eunwoo probably? He's the only one available.

Sehun didn't reply for some time. She looked up from the screen to notice her leader staring at her skeptically from the corner of her eye. Somin avoided her gaze, tilting her posture a little to block Saebyul's vision which was unquestionably directed at her phone. 

Her phone vibrated. [You know. Maybe, just maybe, I'll make some time for you too. Don't meet anyone else.]

Somin laughed silently, shaking her head. Geez, protective much? I know why this invitation is popped up so suddenly.

[Really. I don't. 🙄 ]

Scoffing, Somin decided to change the topic by sending him the picture of herself in the hanbok she had taken.

[Oh cool, baby. You look beautiful ❤️ ]

Her eyes lingered on the word baby. Somin had to bit her lips from breaking into a smile.

Her manager laughed, "Who are you texting?"

 Somin realized she was already smiling like an idiot. "Oh, no one..."

Her correspondence with Sehun broke when they were called in by the filming crew to shoot the video. The girls shot their solo pictures first for the advertisement of the said brand and then filmed a video greeting their fans a happy Chuseok. It was a short clip and they got over with it quickly.

Later that night, Somin leaned against the metal railing in the balcony of her dorm. Although she only came here to pick her dried-out laundry, the serene night view pulled her into itself. She knew she should go back inside and wear something warm but the gloominess in her mood dominated every other feeling of coldness.  The girls ordered their favorite dishes for dinner and spent a nice time, telling jokes and stories over drinks. Now, all of her members were video chatting with their family members. The sound of Rio babbling loudly about just everything to her parents filled her ears and she didn't want to go inside and be forced to hear everything.

There were certain times of the day when she felt particularly down, and well... as much as she hated to admit it, lonely. She wanted to fill her void with something. And with it being Chuseok, the feeling intensified. She covered her face with her hands and sighed deeply. 

Her cell phone lit up, and so did her expression when she noticed the caller's ID. "Hey, dad!" For once, she wanted to talk to him.

But the other sound on the line wasn't that of her father's. In fact, it was a curious gasp. "Hello?" Somin called again. 

A girl spoke in a childish voice. "Hello... are you-are you... my unnie?"

And here I thought Dad was the one calling me.
Somin narrowed her eyes. Jiyeon. It was his daughter. Why would she call me?

"Yes..."

She heard a squeal on the line. "Oh my god, you are! I'm Jiyeon, by the way. Nam Jiyeon."

Somin didn't know what to do with that information. Her step-sister, on the other hand, was heaving in excitement. Keeping her emotions under check, she swallowed a big lump. "Oh, well... hello."

"You know, I'm almost ten years old. I am in grade 4 and--"

Somin heard another scolding voice, her father's, on the back. "Jiyeon! What are you doing with my cell phone?"

"I called unnie!"

"You did what?!"

"Daddy please, I just want to say happy Chuseok!"

"No, dear, give me back my phone."

"Hi, darling. How's my favorite girl doing?" He laughed, his deep voice resonated sweetly in her ears. Jiyeon could be heard whining in the background, throwing a tantrum. She sure was a spoiled one. "I hope Jiyeon didn't disturb you. We just told her that has a sister and a brother and she's been ecstatic ever since." Oh, I wish you also told her how much I hate her mere existence.

She smiled. "I'm okay. What about you guys?"

He sighed contentedly. "Oh, you know how Namwon is at this time of the year." Namwon was her hometown, a few kilometers away from Seoul. "The whole place is gleaming from those little lanterns they hang on every hanok. Do you remember them?"

"Yeah. And Sohee always used to think they were fireflies." She grinned at the memory of herself teasing her sister about it.

 Mr. Nam chuckled. "Oh yes, yes! And remember that year when Seungmin slipped on the wet porch of your halabojee's place while playing Tag with the older kids. He was fourteen but he cried like a baby to your mother..." Mr. Nam stopped abruptly at the unintended mention of his ex-wife.

"Don't you miss those times?"

"Of course, I do." He didn't skip a beat in answering, Somin smiled.

Content silence hung thickly in the air. Somin found herself revisiting her childhood memories when they'd celebrate Chuseok as a full, bustling family. In fact, it was always a fun experience. There was always some hilarious bickering being exchanged between her parents on the journey to Namwon. As much as everyone anticipated, her mother always dreaded it. And not just because it was a time when she'd come face to face with her in-laws who still disapproved of her foreign identity and considered her as a disrespectful outsider, but because the whole festival sounded absurd to her. Yet Mrs. Nam always pretended to be happy for the sake of her Korean husband and her kids who would be overly excited to go to their hometown.

Mr. Nam would eagerly take the kids to the rice fields which were ready to be harvested. Then the combo of father-children would lend a hand to the older women of the family in making Songpyeon, the traditional Chuseok dish. There would always be loads of jokes, games, and squabbles among the three siblings as they fought about who made the most rice cakes. Somin would always lose to Seungmin who purposely lost to the treasured youngest, Sohee.

Somin's eyes were glistening with tears. Bringing her fingers closer, she pinched her eyes, trying to concentrate on what her father was saying. "...we reached just a few hours ago. Jiyeon was thrilled to wear her new hanbok, she wouldn't stop gushing about it the whole week! She's insisting me to take her to the Art Museum in Namwon tomorrow. I used to take you guys there so much, I can remember every monument in the..."

He misses it, but he has clearly moved on from those times, from that family. A painful wave propagated in Somin's heart. It almost seemed as if someone pricked it continuously with a sharp, poisonous needle. If it was so easy, then why can't I move on? It was unbelievable how much things had changed, and so drastically. How her family members were there yet divided. A separation that can never undo itself. A beautiful relation entirely demolished.

"... she sometimes reminds me of Sohee."

"It must feel good to have a replacement." Somin smiled through her tears which she didn't bother hiding anymore. "I wish I had someone too to replace you guys with."

"Are you working on Chuseok too?" He ignored her remark.

"Yes."

"That's cruel. They can't possibly do that!"

"They do, Dad. And they do a lot more too. I'm not surprised really."

"Oh, darling. That's so wrong. Why don't you tell me more about it?" He asked worriedly. Somin felt elated to see someone so concerned about her. It made her realize that maybe she wasn't that lonely. They talked for half an hour about Somin's schedule and more. It was likely the longest she'd conversated with her father in a long, long time.

As she hung up on a good note, Somin decided she didn't want the amazing feeling to end just now. She called her mother's number with a smile, which was picked after many rings. "Hello dear... Is everything alright?"

Hearing her mother's sleepy voice, she cursed at herself involuntarily. "I'm so sorry, Mom! Did I wake you up?"

"Umm... yeah kind of... it's okay." She yawned languidly. "I was having my afternoon nap. Isn't it really late there though?"

"It is. But I usually get free at this hour." Somin replied. "Do you know what time of the year it is?" She doubted if her mother still kept up with the lunar calendar.

"No, what?" Mom asked with a frown. "It's not your birthday, that I know. I swear I didn't forget it this year."

Somin rolled her eyes. "It's Chuseok, Mom, seriously..."

"Ahh, yes, yes. I'd nearly forgotten that silly little thing."  Her mother chuckled. "So are you having fun?"

Somin scoffed. "Yes, a lot. I got up at 4 in the morning, worked all day, and just came back to my dorm an hour ago." She paused for a minute. "Although it's my first Chuseok alone and it feels very weird but you know, I'm kind of happy that we didn't get an off day."

"Why?"

"Because it's a family holiday, Mom." She replied pointedly.

Silence could be heard on the other side of the line for a moment. "That's absurd darling, you still have your family. Didn't your dear father invite you over?"

"No, he went to Namwon like always, don't you remember?" Somin sighed. "And even if he does, I'm never going to his house."

"And Seungmin?" Her mother asked. "He didn't come over?"

"No, he told me he has decided to begin his post-grad degree in China so he's busy with the admission process," Somin explained to her. But she knew there was no use, these were the few things her mother and she had always disagreed over. Somin believed in a family that was together, in touch, and still in love with each other. Her mother didn't.

"So, you don't have anybody else to celebrate with?" Her mother questioned again. "A boyfriend or anyone?"

"He's spending it with his family. It makes sense, Mom." Somin's teeth chattered in the cold air. "It's a family holiday."

"Who is he? Does he work with you?"

"Not really. But he is a celebrity as well." Somin didn't want the conversation to go this way. 

"Hmm..." Her mother nodded. "Isn't it tiresome to date a celebrity, darling? I mean, there's no privacy at all."

Somin smiled. "Privacy issues are for those couples who are known to the people, Mom. We aren't."

"What?" Her mother asked confusedly.  

"I mean, we haven't announced it in the public."

"Why?"

"Because... they wouldn't like it."

"So?"

Somin laughed nervously. Mom really doesn't know how things work. "What are you laughing about, Somin? I don't find a joke in this. Why wouldn't they like it, don't you have a good reputation?"

She shook her head, "It's not that. People just generally don't fancy the idea of him or I dating."

Confusion marked her mother's face. "Then it must be awfully difficult to see him?"

"Hmm." Somin sighed. "It is. Clandestine meetings and secret phone calls are all that we can have. It's not easy."

"Well, you can change that. Tell everyone 'bout it."

"You don't know his fans, Mom. They are the worst kind! They will eat me alive." Somin tried to make her point. "And it's still too early to talk about this."

"Oh, come on, if he stands up for you, there's nothing to be afraid of." Her mother rolled her eyes. "What's the point of dating a guy who wouldn't even own you?"

Somin's forehead creased. "No, Mom it's not about that...." She struggled to find words to explain the situation to her mother. "It isn't that simple."

"It is simple, the way I see it. So what if people aren't going to be happy about it. They can go to hell." Her mother scoffed. "And you of all people never paid heed to anyone's opinion. Since when did you start caring about them?"

"Ever since I became an idol." She answered. "He is famous. I am not, but I will be. It's going to be bad for our reputation." Somin winced inwardly at how bad it sounded.

"Oh my god." Her mother exclaimed. "Just listen to yourself, dear! I'm surprised. Are you both serious about each other?"

"I-I think so. We've only dated for over three months though."

"Then there shouldn't be anything else to stop you. Or him. If it's not easy to date in the shadows, then why would you date a person who can't even put his fame to a little risk for you?" Somin remained silent. "You used to have a standard, Somin. I am surprised to see you settling for so little."

"That's not how k-pop works, Mom!"

"Oh, I don't know how it works but I'm just telling you how a relationship works!" Her mother stated. "You need to let somethings go to have someone you truly like, to be with them freely."

Somin nibbled on her lower lip, pondering over her mother's words. They oddly made her feel uncomfortable... unsure. Everything seemed fine with Sehun, but putting it into words made it sound flawed. She wouldn't have thought about it much if her mother hadn't always proved to be a good person to go to for relationship advice. "I am not allowed to date."

"Is he?"

"I don't think so."

But she knew that wasn't completely the truth. Sehun's bandmate had dated so she knew that it wasn't that forbidding.

"Hmm... have you met his friends? Or colleagues?" Her mother threw question after question.

Somin sighed in defeat. "No... he hasn't told them about us yet."

"Well, there you go. Even if I believe that letting the public know is too much, then what's this? Is he ashamed of dating you or something?"

"Mom!" Somin wished her mother wasn't so blunt. Her plain words stung her where they hurt the most. Her stomach started churning uncomfortably as the words echoed in her mind. Ashamed. Her mind instantly flashed to the time when she'd accompanied Rio to the gym. When she'd run into Sehun and his bandmate. When he didn't make an effort to even hide his worry behind her meeting Chanyeol. When he outright told her to go away. 

Her heart prickled. Ashamed.

"I'm just trying to show you what you're obviously not thinking. You can't be somebody's time pass, darling." Her mother's tone turned soft. "Just talk to him about it, clear your doubts."

Somin closed her eyes, sighing in defeat. Her mind was weighed down with her mother's words. They were biting but they sounded true. 

-

"How did it go?" Saebyul asked almost immediately as Somin and Jae appeared through the door.

Somin grinned. "Good! My voice didn't crack at least. What do you think?"

Jae nodded in agreement. "It's going to be a good one."

Saebyul hummed in approval, smiling. "Manager unnie showed us the original draft." She threw her bandmate a look. "It didn't sound like a love song."

Somin smiled, taking off her coat. "Yes, it wasn't when I wrote it. But Cube wanted it to be a love song so we agreed over a few minor changes in the lyrics."

Ariya smiled happily. "Can't wait for it to be released!"

Their agency had passed their consent over Jae participating in the single alongside Somin. The two girls had already finished the final recording. It was the third and last day of the Chuseok holiday, and the girls were getting ready to shoot the album covers and photobook for their Japanese album, which needed to be released immediately as they were already lagging in their pre-release promotional schedule.

"Have you decided on the title yet?"

Somin shook her head, "I'll let Cube decide it." picking up the hairbrush and running it through her tousled dark hair with an excited smile. She was dying to tell Sehun about her new soolo song. "Where is Rio?"

Ariya rolled her eyes. "Oh, that silly girl! A rumor turned up again and she's been sulking ever since this morning, didn't even have breakfast."

Somin's hand paused mid-action as she bit her lip. "What...rumor?"

The Japanese member's head tilted in doubt. "Umm, I didn't really catch. Probably another Exo member's dating rumor or one of them leaving the group. What else?"

Her heart thudded in her chest like an encaged bird. She turned around to face her group mates. They were making normal arrangements to head to the shooting location. Jae was settling down to have a late breakfast, a bowl of bean salad.

"Wouldn't you have breakfast?" Jae asked her. "All through the recording you complained that you were starving."

"No, I'm good." She faced Ariya again. "Don't you know exactly?" Somin hoped she didn't sound overly anxious. "Which member was it?"

Ariya shrugged. Saebyul threw her a sideways glance, scrutinizing the girl's fearful face. "You can ask Rio. She's in her room."

Somin pursed her lips, brushing it off. With the leader's gaze on her, it would be highly suspicious to do anything. After roaming around the room and making sure that the topic was completely dropped, silently making her way to the room. She was met with the maknae's sullen pout. "Hi, what's up." She quickly closed the door behind her with shaky hands. She couldn't help hidinger her nervousness anymore.

Rio sat cross legged on the floor, her hair ooked like it hadn't been brushed in ages. There were dark circles around her eyes. She expired a deep breath. "I don't know why they do this behind our backs!" She tossed her phone away but thankfully it just landed on Ariya's bed. 

"What?" Somin asked in a clenched tone. "What did they do?!"

"He met up with a girl in his makeup room secretly when all of us were out there enjoying the award show!" She exclaimed with a hurtful expression.

 "Oh my god! Ohhh my god." Rio's eyes were wide. "We were there too! I didn't see him going anywhere. Did you?"

Somin's heart dropped in her stomach. If she could crawl inside a hole, she would. Jaw parted and sweat forming over her forehead, she absent-mindedly shook her head in response to Rio's question. She didn't have to inquire further, the whole scene displayed before her eyes. She brought her hands to her eyes, pinching the eyelids in regret. Why did I agree to his request? I should have left earlier. No, I shouldn't have followed him in the first place. It was a public place, why did we risk so much?

"She must have forced him to meet her privately! Sehun isn't like that. Yes, that must be it." Rio reached a spiteful conclusion.

"What--what else do you know? Is there a footage too?" She mustered the courage to ask. She chewed on the inner side of her lip, trying to formulate a plan.

"No, and she should be happy because I swear to god if I get my hands on her, she wouldn't live!" Rio's eyes narrowed resentfully.

One little slip and it could all come crashing down. Like a clumsily built house of cards in the back of a moving truck. Really it was all just a matter of time before it did.

Somin muttered with a deadpan face. "Trust me, she is."

The short journey to Cube's head office wasn't easy. Somin couldn't stop her mind from presuming terrifying situations. On the way, she read the article which caused the whole uproar. The person was a staff member and stated that he witnessed 'a girl' entering Exo's makeup room, where Sehun already was, and exiting it after a while. He didn't specify if it was an idol. She read some really hurtful comments about Sehun and his group. Comments where enticzen outrightly claimed that Exo was going down after this. Knowing that Sehun was in Seoul this weekend, Somin desperately wanted to contact him. I hope he's doing okay. He is overly cautious about this after all.

Rio kept murmuring all sorts of things under her breath beside Somin which heightened her worry. Upon arriving, they reached the dressing room. Aurora got readied by their best stylists. Walking out of the changing room in her pinstriped pants and coat, she gave the staff members a thumbs-up. It fitted her perfectly and she liked this chic look.

"Aigoo, I don't like the color of my lipstick." Rio moped, eyes focused on the monitor where their photographer showed them all the photos he had clicked to be used for photo cards and album teasers. The girls surrounded his table, choosing their favorite ones and demanding the ones with embarrassing poses to be deleted. The selected ones were being sent to the editors who were busy designing album covers.

Ariya interjected, fighting back a yawn, "I think it looks great."

"I look older for my age." She pointed at the monitor. "Like, even Jae unnie looks better than me."

"Hey, hey what's that supposed to mean!" The oldest cried out indignantly

Ariya smiled, "She just means that you look younger than her, that's all."

Jae muttered, a hint of envy ringing in her tone. "Look at Somin. That bitch doesn't have a single blurry photo."

"That's because she knows how to pose." Their photographer answered.

Saebyul smiled, glancing at Somin as she expected the girl to reply. Instead of a grateful smile, the leader found the girl's eyebrows joined together, lips pursed and gaze trained at distance. The gloomy look in Somin's eyes betrayed signs of worry. Saebyul just lifted a brow.

It was after hours of posing, smiling and of course, endless fretting, that Somin had found a moment for herself and that was spent up in thinking of horrible consequences of their little endeavor. She was aware that her bandmates were noticing the visible changes in her expression, no matter how hard she tried to conceal it, and how carefully she chose her words. The uneasiness lingered. 

After a while, when she noticed that most of the staff and girls were busy in a random discussion of Chuseok plans, she realized it was the moment to slip away from their sight. 

Sehun hadn't replied to her latest texts. Somin usually avoided calling him during work hours but she was out of options. She had to call him. Grabbing her phone from the makeup stand, Somin tiptoed out of the makeup counters and entered the vacant dressing room. She quickly dialed her boyfriend's number and listened as it rang and rang and rang.

A hissing sound came out of her gritted teeth as she kept being sent to the voicemail. The anxiety growing in her stomach stopped her from thinking anything positive. She murmured to herself, "Come on. Sehun, please..."

On her fourth try, her call was received on the hundredth ring. "Hello." His voice sounded sweet and she felt the familiar flutter in her belly when she heard it. How can you have such a powerful effect on me?

"Sehun," she said, half whine, half greeting.

"Yes?" His reply was shorter than usual. His voice also seemed a little too professional and curt. As if he was speaking to a business associate or maybe he wasn't alone. She wondered just how many people surrounded him right now.

"Shit, I'm sorry. Are you busy? Why do you sound like you're about to do a business deal with me right now?" She couldn't help asking it. Great. The last thing I want is for him to get into more trouble because I'm so dumb that I keep ringing him.

"Yes, I'm a little busy. I'm in an interview right now, but if it's okay I will contact you once it's over so we can work out the terms."

Huh? Even in the midst of her despair, a short laugh escaped Somin's mouth. He was definitely acting so well. That led her to believe that there was a fat chance that Sehun probably didn't even know about this. Who has the time to keep up with their scandals when they're so famous?

"Sehun. Big trouble. Really Big. Huge. I'm serious. Call me back." Somin emphasized each and every word so he'd understand the gravity of her request.

"Yes, I'm very interested in this deal. You have my word, I'll be in touch." His voice dipped amusedly at the word 'touch' and she scoffed into the phone. Trust him to be suggestive at the wrongest times.

"Whatever weirdo. I'll be waiting." She replied. Sehun hummed in response before disconnecting the call.

-

Feeling a little better, she joined her bandmates again who were 'ooh-ing' and 'aah-ing' over something their social media manager was showing with a proud smile. He dealt with the girl group's marketing. With a smile, Somin walked closer to them.

"Oh, great. there she is!" Jae squealed. She ushered the dance lead. "Show her the covers." She requested.

"Where were you?" Manager unnie interjected.

"Oh, just ... around." Her lips twitched slightly as tried to change the topic. "So, what's up?"

Ariya replied, "Here's a draft of our Japan covers. I can't believe this!" She quickly turned Somin the laptop's screen towards Somin.

The girl whistled in surprise. "Good job, manager-nim!"

He nodded pleasantly before showing them other templates.

Jae asked anxiously, "I don't look overweight in the pictures, do I?"

Saebyul smiled, "Of course not--"

"But you can still do much better." One of the staff members said. "You're following the new diet plan, aren't you?"

Jae sighed. She never knew she was signing up for an undeclared dietary regime all her life when she consented to her mother's wishes.

Rio's wrinkled forehead revealed her grumpy mood, "Gosh, I hate my look! Can't they have given me something better to wear? And where is my hair flying in all directions in these stupid photos?"

Ariya and Saebyul exchanged an amused look. They knew it wasn't her hair or the shade of her lipstick that bothered their maknae. The two girls laughed silently, shaking their heads.

Jae's gaze kept dropping on her cell phone. She had replied to Sungjae's text last night after taking five whole days to think of what to reply. At first, she was embarrassed because of her name that was pasted on that odious list. He had seen the list and saw her name there, that pat was obvious. Almost everyone checked the bulletin boards. The thought enough made her wish to dig herself a hole and spend the rest of her humiliating life there. But now that it had been taken down, she felt slightly better and confident. In the end, she settled with sending a simple friendly response. And ever since she woke up today, she couldn't help feel a little giddy about it.

Mr. Lee entered the room and addressed the girls, "You have another dance practice in the evening. The rest of the schedules for the night have been canceled. You guys can change."

Somin breathed in relief. "Thank god." She quickly got up and grabbed a package of makeup removal wipes from the vanity shelf.

-

Sehun's eyes widened as they fell on Jiseok's phone that he held out for him. "How serious is this?"

The older man, leaning against the wall, heaved a hefty sigh. He hated this part of his job. Telling those young-in-love faces that they can't be in love. Not today, and not tomorrow. It was an ugly truth that came in joint with this dream-like job. It was a price to pay for the love that their fans showered them with, a payback of all the fame the boy group enjoyed. "I'm not going to say that it's not serious, because it's only things like these that lead up to a bigger scandal. But I also wouldn't say that it is serious because that would scare you away."

"So what are you exactly trying to say?" A nervous laugh left his mouth.

Arms crossed and gaze trained on the floor, Jiseok continued, "I'm saying that there are a lot of what-ifs. What if you were caught by a fan? What if it was a reporter? What if there was a camera planted inside? What if the girl you were with decides to reveal her identity to everyone?"

"No, she wouldn't." He answered in a flash.

Jiseok raised a brow. Sehun spoke with so much confidence that his representative manager couldn't help wondering how long this had been going on. But it certainly didn't help that the idol was insistent to cover the identity of whoever girl he was seeing. Jiseok tried to inquire further about the girl without sounding obvious, but Sehun remained quite tight-lipped about it. He found it irritating because he couldn't really help him if he didn't know everything.

Sehun's mood took a downside turn as he listened quietly. Jiseok reminded and nagged and ranted about how idols did not afford the same luxuries as regular people did when it came to freedom and love. And he heard the implications, all the small hints that Jiseok dropped. Despite his young age, Sehun had learned to interpret the faint threat behind his manager's words and understood what he was saying.

So that's the message? Don't get caught? Break it off? End things now? Give up on this love?

Looking away, Sehun protested feebly, "My hyungs see other girls too..."

But the older man was quick to point out. "And I'm sure you've seen how well that went? Look, I understand your stance but each and every one of you has a different place in the eyes of the fans. And in your case, you're the foolish, immature, cherished maknae. They don't expect it from you, at least. They claim you guys and you. let. them. do. it." His finger was jutted out at every word.

That's because you want us to treat them like that. You allow them to claim us, Sehun wanted to say. Running a hand through his raven black hair, Sehun met his sales manager's gaze, "The people are saying horrible things about me. Can't you do anything about it?"

He shook his head. "No, I suggest that you let the matter die down on its own. It is SM's policy not to respond and I'm bound to follow that. But consider what I said." He could see that he had depressed Sehun. The troubling signs were visible on his face.

Leaning down on his knees, Jiseok laid a brotherly hand upon the idol's broad shoulder. "Sehun," He smiled lightly, "I'm here to assist you. To make you see the facts so you don't fall on your face in the future. To help you through these bitter decisions because, in the end, it's always going to be worth it. You'll get what you dreamed for; the stage, the cheering crowds. And these temporary distractions wouldn't mean anything."

Sehun heard him, saying it without outright saying it.

He stared into the man's solemn eyes for a minute. Jiseok's facial features spoke of his job experience and genuineness. He liked it. It emanated a sense of security, an assurance. With a short nod, Sehun said, "I understand."

"If... this continues, being your representative manager, it's my job to oversee the matter. I need to know such details beforehand."

When Sehun assured to tell him when it was the right time and thanked him, Jiseok left the boys' dorm.

The tired maknae walked into the living room where the sight was comforting, yet a mess. Chanyeol and Kai were sprawled all over the floor, playing League of Legends with packets of onions crisps, and diet cokes littering the floor. Chen lazily laid on the couch across him, humming something. Kyungsoo was in the kitchen and judging by the aroma that hung in the dorm, he could guess he was preparing Songpyeon. "Where's Baekhyun hyung?"

Kai replied, his eyes still on the screen. "He went out for a drink."

Sehun sighed. The breakup had really messed his hyung up, more than he ever imgained.

"Don't you all have to go home?" Sehun asked again.

As if waiting for cue, Minseok hyung emerged from his bedroom, dressed like a decent gentleman for the first time in many days. His hair was properly brushed and wasn't flying in all possible directions. He looked fit to meet his parents. Holding a gift in his hand, he informed. "I'm leaving, I'll spend tonight at home. Happy Chuseok, y'all."

"Shit!" Chanyeol swore, looking at the watch. "I'm getting late!"

Hurling the controller away, he bolted towards his room in a rush, leaving Kai grinning in euphoria. After ensuring his victory, he blew a flying kiss in Sehun's direction for reminding Chanyeol.

Shaking his head, Sehun retired to his room. He was happy that Suho had already left for home the previous night so that he had all the place to himself for today. He had just passed the threshold of his room when the vague sound of his name stopped him in his tracks. Edging himself closer to the door, he leaned in and held his breath. Sehun tried to concentrate on the conversation that had sprung up in the living room. 

Kai was saying, "I don't know. He does look bothered but he didn't say anything to any of us. Not a word."

"Yeah, I don't want to bring it up with him either. Maybe Jiseok hyung did the talking?" Chen replied.

 "What if it isn't true?"

Chen inhaled a deep breath before he spoke. "Can't say. I just hope he's being careful though." Sehun detected the concern in his hyung's voice and closed his eyes, wishing he could be anywhere else but here.

"Of course, he's being careful." Kai's tone lowered even more. Sehun scuttled as close to the door as he could. "We knew nothing about it before, did we? I mean I suspected something because he is always on phone, but there was nothing solid."

"It doesn't take anything solid for a scandal. Just a blurry photo from a fan or the tabloids." Chen countered. "Whatever it is, I don't want another scandal like Baekhyun's. Our image is already so beaten up after they left." 

Sehun moved away from the door, realizing that he didn't want to hear another word of this conversation. The key concern disturbing his older bandmates was already clear to him. He appreciated the fact that they didn't confront him about it, rather gave him the space he needed. But he also knew that they expected him to clear their confusion and share the truth. And just the mere idea of revealing Somin's identity to his bandmates made his stomach lurch.

Having the room all by himself, Sehun plopped on the bed and decided to meet his promise. He clicked on the camera icon as he rang Somin's phone number. She picked up.

"A video call? A freaking video call! Do you think we haven't fucked up our secrecy enough?!" That was how he was greeted by his girlfriend he hadn't seen for weeks. As a matter of fact, he couldn't make out her face clearly even then.

"Will you just turn on the damn light?"

"No! I can't. It's risky." Somin whispered. "I told my bandmates I was going to nap so that no one would disturb. I can't turn on the light." Her wild heart flip-flopped in her chest as she took in his striking features. It was good to see him after so long. She'd missed him so much. He wasn't wearing any makeup which was evident from the dark circles surrounding his expressive, feline eyes. Hair strands fell upon his forehead with a touch of neat elegance. She bit back a love-struck smile and continued, "And I called you six hours ago, Oh Sehun, six hours! What kind of interview takes that long--"

"I was just waiting for the right time." he quickly explained, fearing the anxious girl would burst. "Why is it so dark in your room?"

"Have you seen the post yet?"

"Yes. Can you at least sit by the window?" Sehun tried again.

Raising an exasperated sigh, Somin got up and took a place beside the window frame. He smiled at the change of view. Her skin glowed under the setting sun's radiance.

"Okay, back to business." Sehun started. "Manager hyung showed me this article just now. I can't believe it, Somin. Who do you think could this be?"

"That's not the problem here. We're surrounded by hundreds of staff workers watching us and we don't even notice. Makeup artists, clothing stylists, cameramen, lighting specialists, back up dancers--"

"Yeah, yeah I know." Sehun nodded. "Good thing they didn't recognize you."

"Hmm... it's not much of a relief, really." Her brows furrowed as she scolded him. "It was wrong to follow you that night, Sehun. I regret it so much. We should have been careful."

"But I hadn't seen you in such a long time." He defended himself weakly. 

"We need to have some other sort of alternative communication. Like, a sign to let each other know if we need to speak to each other that no one would catch onto, you know." She proposed. "That way we can carefully plan a phone call later instead of stupidly following each other around."

His eyes narrowed in deep thought. "Sign?"

"Yeah!" Somin sounded confident. "Because we can't use phones all the time during shows."

"I could send just you a traditional paper note."

"But that's risky too. I was thinking of something a little less ceremonial. We'll both return this sign to confirm if we've understood the message."

"Okay, I get it," He shifted in his seat, adjusting his arm that held the phone. "How about I... um, just wink at you?"

"Perfect!" Her eyes widened. "Because your fans would definitely not mind if you wink at a girl group--"

"Oh shit, yes! I forgot about them." He scowled.

"We tend to forget them a lot." Somin chuckled.

 "It needs to be something different to catch the other's attention and common enough to keep anyone from suspecting." 

Sehun started making weird faces to come up with something. She watched him through her phone's screen in amusement. "Look at this!" He called. He stuck out his tongue, raise a brow, and scrunched up his nose at the one go.

 "Don't expect me to do that!" Somin burst into laughter. "I'll look ugly."

"In other words," He grinned. "Just as usual."

She glowered at him as angrily as was possible. Sehun chuckled at her feeble attempt to glare, scrunching his nose. "Cute."

Somin suggested. "What if I tug at my ear to let you know?"

He chuckled, "No! That isn't attractive. Think of something more appropriate. I can simply run my fingers through my hair."

She shook her head almost immediately. "My hair is almost always pulled up with pins. It's nearly impossible to get my fingers through it. And what if I happen to be wearing a headpiece?"

"Fair enough." He agreed. "Pick at my nose?"

"You're kidding, right?"

Sehun rolled his eyes. "Why don't you come up with something then, smarty pants?"

She pursed her lips in contemplation. "What about this?" He watched her hand reaching up to her face and scratched one of her eyebrows. He repeated the motion. Yes, it was a smooth move. He nodded slowly. "Hmm... I like it."

She smiled. "So it's settled then. We're never meeting in waiting rooms and or backstage ever again. Next time you want to see me, simply scratch your brow and I'll try to call you as soon as possible."

"Good with me."

After a pause, she asked reluctantly, "Your bandmates must have learned about us. What did they say?"

"They didn't say anything to me, they probably don't know. Most of us don't really keep tabs on every flying rumor flying because there are so many." He lied. 

"You should talk to that member of yours who's dating too. I really admire him and Taeyeon unnie for staying strong after everything." Somin commented.

Sehun snorted at the irony. "Well, it just so happened that they weren't so strong after all."

"What do you mean?"

"Hyung broke up."

"No!" She gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth. It truly made her heart bleed for the two. She'd seen them personally and everything that she'd read about them on the internet led her respect for the couple to elevate to a great degree. "But, why?"

He sighed, "After the fans found out, I think we all saw it coming. Baekhyun hyung was the happiest human on Earth when it was still a secret. He wouldn't stop smiling all day long. But he's been a moping mess for the last few months. They didn't quite work out after the public intervened. I mean, just imagine posting apologies on social media and even pleading to the fans personally to forgive them for dating each other. Do you expect love to stick around after that?"

Somin bit her lip. These people are sick. Taeyeon's words flashed in her mind. "Do you know what she said to me when I ran into her in her waiting room?"

"Yeah?"

"She said that it was her own fame and her fandom that turned into her enemy," Somin spoke in a light tone. "That she hoped that I, or anyone for that matter, does not have to go through what she did. She told me never to get tangled with the dating."

Sehun stayed silent for a long time before mumbling in a small voice, "Maybe she was right."

Somin's eyes shot up to the screen, searching Sehun's face. Avoiding her gaze, he focused his eyes on his lap. Somin didn't know how to react. Something tugged at her insides, leaving her restless and fazed.

"Wh-what?" She hated herself for stuttering.

Taking a deep breath, Sehun looked up again. "I didn't talk about this with my hyungs but I did have a detailed conversation with my manager."

Somin didn't get a good feeling about this. "And?"

He went on. "He... he reminded me a lot of things. That Exo was already on the verge of disbandment a few months ago after the members left. You know that Exo's image is one of the most critical things for me and seeing it being tarnished all because of me is frustrating. He said how it wasn't the right thing to do at this point in my career. And that I was better off on my own---"

No, no, no. Somin couldn't believe her ears. Is he really having second thoughts about our relationship? She'd never imagined Sehun talking like this; she loathed it. All the confidence and faith she had smashed to smithereens. Yes, she'd been worried all day long but one thing she was sure of was her relation with Sehun; there as no regret in that part. Sadly, she realized that it couldn't be said for him.

 With a dark look, she cut his words, "But why are you telling this to me? Didn't we already know that?"

Sehun stared at her with his mouth still parted. Rapidly blinking, he said, "Of course."

Her unamused eyes scanned his face for a second before she replied, "That reminds me of something else I meant to ask." In all honesty, she never intended to have the conversation her mother had advised her to have with Sehun. She planned against asking all those things from Sehun but witnessing his shattered loyalty, Somin couldn't stop herself. Her mother's words resonated in her mind. You can't be somebody's time pass, darling.

"Yes?"

"How serious are you with me?"

Somin didn't mean to make it sound so short and blunt. Maybe it was her raging nerves that caused it. Maybe it was the biggest fear residing in the walls of her heart that made her put it that way. It didn't matter. It was his answer that mattered. So once the words tumbled out of her mouth, she didn't regret it. The sooner this cleared up, the better. 

Sehun was startled. "What kind of question is that?"

"It sounded perfectly obvious to me." She shrugged.

"I mean, in what regard?"

"In all the regards possible, Sehun." She replied. Her expression softened a little seeing his bewildered face. "I just realized that we've never really talked about going public, or introducing each other to our friends--"

"That's because there is nothing to talk about." He tried to convince the girl. "You can't imagine how I feel. It is the first time that my fans had something bad to say about me and I don't like it one bit."

"I understand but how long do you plan to keep us in the dark?" Somin inquired. Their conversation had suddenly taken a dark turn.

"For as long as we're together."

She could feel her shoulders slump and closed her eyes briefly as she tried to steady her emotions. Not knowing why, but a small, overly-optimistic part of her heart expected him to assure her that he was going to reach all lengths to work out their relationship. That he would fight anyone and everyone, and face it with her when the time comes. He wouldn't care about anyone. And this wishful thinking made his responses sound harsher than they actually were.

"Somin? Are you there?"

"Yeah? Uh, yes..." She swallowed a big lump down her throat. She'd always thought of him as someone who didn't really care about people or their opinion. But seeing his response and the change in his attitude after this small scandal made her realize that she was wrong. He cared so much about the people's opinion. She tried to wonder if this meant anything positive for their relationship. "I don't know what to say. You just told me never to expect anything bigger or better than this."

"That's the realistic approach, Somin. I would never ever want to let anyone know that you're my girlfriend." He told her. "It's the only option."

His words were poison. They practically confirmed everything her mother had warned her about. The sensation made her feel gross. She tried not to let her face betray the shitty feeling that was building up inside her. "Sehun, why don't we talk about this later--"

The door was unlatched. Somin's heart dropped to her feet when Saebyul's not so pleased face into view. Her narrowed eyes fell on the phone that Somin quickly covered, but failed to achieve her purpose. Sehun chose the exact cursed moment to speak, "What? What were you saying?"

Great. Now she knows I was talking to a guy. Somin instantly disconnected the call. She glanced at the leader wore an expression that she couldn't read. "Who was that?"

"Uhh..." Her mind was blocked.

"Oh," Saebyul answered for her in a tone that had a sarcastic touch. "Must be that friend."

"Huh?"

The older girl replied shortly before turning on her heels. "Meet me outside. We need to have a talk."

Shit.

-

Somin gulped. She stayed rooted to the edge of her unmade bed where she sat beside the window. Her heart was thumping alarmingly fast, she pressed her eyes tightly, trying to block her leader's words and the stiff expression she wore, while wishing she had a magic wand to simply wave and vanish into thin air. Anything to rewind a few minutes back and save herself. Why on earth did I risk our secrecy like that? Again. Gosh, I'm a prized idiot.

The next few minutes were wasted in struggling to come up with a believable excuse for this phone call, but the tiny problem she faced was that she wasn't sure exactly how much Saebyul knew. I sure as hell don't want to go and blurt out 'I'm definitely not dating anyone unnie, especially not Exo's Sehun,' the first thing.

Nibbling on her lip, she stashed her cell phone under her pillow and urged her jammed legs to get up and step out of the door, on the other side of which, a determined and probably a very angry girl awaited her. Somin forced a smile and faced the leader whose determined gaze bore into Somin's face as she sat on the couch, arms crossed.

"What's up?" Somin sat across her, hoping she sounded casual. "Where are others?"

"They went out."

Great. Just the two of us left alone. Nobody will know if she kills me here. "Oh yeah, Jae mentioned she wanted some toiletries." She wondered if she could distract her leader towards a different topic. But Saebyul was having none of that. 

"Had a good nap?"

She gulped. "No, um I didn't sleepy anymore."

"Who was that?"

Somin's smile slipped a little. No, for the love of God, stay calm. She's just being suspicious, there's no way she knows anything for real. She shrugged, "I've told you. My friend."

"Which friend, that's what I'm asking." Her edgy tone made it obvious how over the edge she was.

"What's wrong?" Somin released a nervous laugh. "It's my high school friend--"

Saebyul huffed exasperatedly, before narrowing her gaze at her. "Before you feed me any more of those silly, shallow excuses, I'd like to tell you that I'm not stupid enough to not grasp who he is. I know what is going on."

Her eyes grew wide in shock. How did she found out? At that moment, Somin realized that their house of cards had already come crashing down. And maybe, it wasn't going to be built ever again.

---

I know the updates are becoming less and less frequent but this chapter was written while struggling through my writer's block and in between my exams, which is why it took so long. Not to mention, an army of exams is attacking again for like the next four months BUT I'm gonna give this book my best!

Don't forget to vote! :)

Let's keep hoping for an EXO comeback this year. I'm starving for it crazily. When do you guess we'll get a group album?