I sighed. I really wanted to go down to the basement right now and 'Bill-proof' my mind, that could save a LOT of suffering, but... Mabel could be in danger and I need to make sure Jeff-I mean, 'Jerry'- doesn't do anything to her.

Peering out the triangular window, I watched 'Jerry' put a flower necklace on Mabel.

I remembered how I could've changed the future by changing my words in the past, and asked myself out loud, hoping to avoid further alteration, "Is Mabel really dating a zombie, or am I just being paranoid?"

"I dunno, dude. How many brains did ya see the guy eat?" Soos asked, startling me, despite me already remembering he was there. In fact, a small part of me thought he wasn't there due to him being quiet.

"AHH! Soos, where did you cone from?" I yelped. Seriously, he made no noise, like some sort of... I don't know, quiet... animal?

"Oh, I was here all along, dawg, and I couldn't help but overhear you talking out loud to yourself in this big, empty room." He responded.

"Ok... well Soos, tell me, isn't 'Jerry' kinda suspicious?" I asked.

"Hey, I believe you when you say that, but unless you have proof, no one else will believe you. Like, I'm 99% sure that the mailman is a werewolf..." Soos replied.

"Hmm.. you're right! I need proof! Thanks, Soos!" I exclaimed.

"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse..." He said.

"SOOS! THE PORTABLE TOILETS ARE CLOGGED AGAIN!" Grunkle Stan yelled.

"I am needed elsewhere." Soos said, backing away into the shadows.

I grabbed a camera and dashed outside, hoping to catch everything on camera and ensure Mabel's safety.

A while later, I ran into Mabel's room, glad you finally warn her.

"Mabel! I have to talk to you about Jerry!" I yelled.

"Isn't he just the best!?" Mabel exclaimed.

"No! Mabel, I think he's.. not what he seems!" I shot right back, gesturing to the journal.

"GASP! Do you think he might be a... vampire?!?" Mabel fangirled.

"No! Mabel, listen! Shabam!" I flicked open the journal to the gnome page.

"Ack!" Mabel yelped.

"Oops! Shabam!" I turned to the zombie page, knowing how off it was.

"A zombie? Not funny, Dipper.." Mabel said, disappointed.

"Mabel! Come on! It all adds up! The bleeding, the limp, he never blinks! Have you at least noticed that?!" I said halfheartedly.

"Maybe he's blinking when you're blinking!" Mabel replied.

"Remember what the book said, Mabel! Trust no one!" I said, getting into it.

"Well what about me, Dipper? You can trust me! Beep bop!" She clipped on two star earrings.

As much as it annoyed me to try and convince Mabel that Nor-Jerry was a zombie, it was too risky not to. "Mabel! Come on! He's gonna eat your brains!" I yelled, shaking her.

"Dipper. Listen to me. Jerry and I are going on a date. And I'm gonna be adorable, and he's gonna be dreamy, and I'm not gonna let you ruin it with one of your crazy conspiracies!" She yelled, shoving me out of our room. It hurt just as much for her to push me away like that the second time, but I needed to get prepared.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
5 'o'clock

Ding-dong!

The doorbell rang, and I watched, hidden, as Mabel ran down the stairs, pulling on a sweater and yelling, "COMING!!" Loudly.

She opened the door asking 'Jerry' how she looked. He stared at her for a moment, then exclaimed, "SHINY!!"

"You always know just what to say!" She responded happily.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ mini time skip

I ran outside, ignoring Stan and running straight to Wendy.

"Wendy! I need to borrow the golf cart NOW!!"

"Don't hit any pedestrians." She said, tossing over the keys.

"Thanks!!" I yelled, worked up. Suddenly, Soos stopped me.

"Here's for the zombie!" He handed over a shovel.

"Thanks!"

"And here's in case you see a pinata." He passed a baseball bat over.

"Uh.. thanks?" I grabbed it.

"Better safe than sorry!" He yelled after me.

Zooming towards Mabel's screams, I skidded to a stop. Whew.

She was relatively unharmed, but swarmed by gnomes.

"DIPPER! HELP ME! JERRY TURNED OUT TO BE A BUNCH OF GNOMES, AND THEY'RE TOTAL JERKS!" She yelled at me.

Jeff started on his speech about the powerful gnome race, and I just knocked him off his rock with the shovel. I knew he was actually a bad enemy, but I can deal.

Running over to Mabel, who was tied down, I brought the shovel down hard on the strings restraining her.

"RAWRGH!!" She yelled, knocking down a bunch of gnomes.

"Mabel! Come on, we need to go! Now!!" I exclaimed, dashing towards the golf cart. She got in right after me.

"Seatbelt!" I said. Safety first! Slamming on the gas, I was very glad we made sure to equip seatbelts.

Fleeing from the creature of 'Unimaginable horror', it was a miracle the flimsy cart stayed upright.

We finally escaped the woods, crashing into the side of the Mystery Shack.

Jeff and his gnome abomination drew closer.

"You better marry us, Mabel, before we do something crazy!" He screamed down at us.

"I have to do it."

"What? Mabel, no! Are you crazy?!"

"Trust me, Dipper. Just this once, trust me." I knew I could, and I wanted nothing more than to tell her my uncertainty was just for show, but the consequences would be... I don't even know..

I nodded as she stepped forward.

"Alright, fine, you win, Jeff, I'll marry you." Mabel yelled back up at him.

"Hot dog!" He yelped, scrambling down the monster of gnomes.

Once he reached the bottom, he took out the ring and put it on Mabel's finger.

"Eh? Ehhh? Now let's get you back to the forest, Mabel baby."

"You may now kiss the bride." Mabel said, not taking her eyes off the ring.

"Oh! Well, don't mind if I do!" Jeff leaned in, puckering up, expecting smooches.

Mabel leaned close, then whipped out the leaf blower from a pile of leaves behind her.

Turning it on, she aimed it at Jeff in suction mode.

"Wha? AGH!" He yelped, being caught off guard and sucked into the machine.

"This is for breaking my heart!" She said, turning up the intensity. His arms disappeared.

"This is for being a jerk!" She turned it up to max. He was in the leaf blower pipe up to his nose.

"And this is for messing with my brother!!" Mabel turned to me.

"Wanna do the honors?"

I grinned, nodding, and flicked it into reverse. Jeff shot out past 60 miles per hour, streaking towards the forest, bowling into the gnomes.

As they scattered, he could be heard faintly. "THIS ISN'T OVER! I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!" He screamed, rocketing away.

"OH NO! LOOKS LIKE WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAIN!!" Yelled a random voice. *Everyone glares at me for breaking fourth wall* "sorry.." I murmured in a small squeak.

We stumbled inside, leaves tangled up in our hair, looking like total disasters.

"Woah, what happened to you two? You look like you were hit by a bus!" Grunkle Stan exclaimed, slapping his knee and letting out a throaty laugh.

We stayed silent and walked across the room.

Grunkle Stan looked slightly unsettled, and cleared his throat.

"Well, uh, whaddya know, looks like I over stocked. So, uh, why don't you two each uh pick something out from the gift shop, free of charge?" He said.

"Really?" Mabel said, excited.

"What's the catch? I said, feigning suspicion.

"Pick something out before I change my mind." He responded bluntly.

I walked over to the pine tree hats, and grabbed one. Fitting it on my head, I grinned at the familiar feel.

"That 'oughta do the trick!" I said to myself, getting used to the feel of repeating myself and dejà vù.

"And then I'll have a... grappling hook!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Really? Wouldn't you rather have, I dunno, a doll or something?" Grunkle Stan asked, confused.

"GRAPPLING HOOK!!"shouted Mabel as she fired it at the ceiling beam.

"Fair enough." He responded, unable to argue with her logic.

In bed, after having some fun with her new grappling hook, I laid down, thinking about the summer. As I drowsily drifted off, I decided to try and 'Bill-proof' my mind the next day.. which.. let's see.. oh yeah! The Gobblewonker! I grinned, remembering the good times, like the beaver with the chainsaw, and the posing beaver, and the poser beavers, and... the beavers..?

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Oof I have school a lot of the time so I might not update a lot but I'll do my best, to all who care! Also, go check out YuiCipher and her books! My arm/ hand hurts from two updates in one day, the one where I was tagged, and this one..Thx to all the weirdos wasting their time reading my crap! Cya!