“Happy birthday, Allie!” Sam shouts when she sees me first thing in the morning then she comes running to me like soul chased by the Devil himself.

Sam crushes me in her arms, knocking the air out of my lungs and I can’t even hug her back, I’m literally trapped in her arms. I didn’t think she was this strong and I’m quite surprised now.

“Air, I need air,” I cry and only then she looses her grip around me, enough to let me hug her and take a deep breath. “Thank you, Sam,” I finally reply and she pulls back to smile brightly at me.

I’m eighteen now and in all these years I never cared about my birthday. The sixth of February wasn’t anything but any other day in the calendar. I never celebrated it or even thought about it, there were years when I didn’t even remember I turned years until I made a mistake filling in some form. My parents don’t care about birthdays either, so it wasn’t a big deal with them either. No morning wishes or presents or parties. I mean, we grow older every day, and birthdays are just a point to mark the completion of a cycle but it can be any other day if I want to. I could celebrate on the date Mum got pregnant as that’s the moment my life actually began, my first cells started to form. Or from them moment my heart developed and started beating. Or the moment my brain was formed. It doesn’t have to be the moment I left my mother’s womb.

I thought like that until now. I’ve changed but no, I don’t really think birthdays are special, just social conventions used as excuse to celebrate… but I also think they are an opportunity to be grateful because, after all, I completed a cycle. I lived a whole year and if I’m lucky I might get the chance to complete another. It’s probably due to my dream and how the date of this seems to get horribly close and I start to get anxious. I’m starting to get anxious myself and I have had parts of the same dream again. Not the whole scene, just bits and pieces like being in the class or the explosion or just waking up on the twenty-third of April. So yeah, that makes me feel grateful for my birthday and this time there’s something different, as well. This time I have my two best friends excited for me, planning a whole day.

I look above Sam’s shoulder and I see Zeke coming our way, that cute and warm smile on his lips and my heart leaps. Even after all this time I still react the same way when I see him smiling like that. Sam notices that Zeke has caught up with us and releases me so now Zeke can grab my hand and pull me for a hug and make me melt in his arms.

Since that night at my house I’ve discovered a few things about my relationship with Zeke. No, we haven’t had sex but we’ve explored each other a bit and good news: I’m not asexual. Turns out I do get my hormones going crazy and clouding my mind. So I guess I’m just your ordinary teenager when it comes to that biological aspect.

“Happy birthday, love,” he whispers in my ear and I hug him tighter, burying my nose in the crook of his neck. I really love doing this.

“Thanks,” I reply pulling back just a bit to look up at him before he gives me a sweet kiss.

“I didn’t know what to give you and I thought like many, many things but it was so hard to pick so Zeke and I teamed up and have planned a whole day for you!” Sam shares in one breath and almost chokes at the end, what makes me giggle. She’s so excited. “Sooooo, I got these bad boys for us!” Sam says taking from the pocket of her coat three tickets that she hands for me as she exclaims, again, “Happy birthday, Allie!”

I take them and my eyes widen when I realise tickets for what show these are.

“Holy cow, The 1975!” I exclaim now, getting so excited. “For tonight. Blimey, I didn’t even know they were coming why didn’t you tell me, Sam?!” I cry out, looking at her with big eyes. Zeke keeps an arm around my shoulders and I feel him chuckling next to me.

“We’ve been planning this for a while,” Sam replies with a wink and I turn to look at Zeke then at Sam then back at Zeke, flabbergasted.

“And dinner before the show is on me. After the show you’re all mine, though. No sharing with Sam,” Zeke explains and Sam actually pouts, but I know she’s just joking. “And worry not, we talked with your parents already. Lots of begging but we managed.”

My eyes only widen in surprise when he shares that bit of information and I imagine the scene in my head. They probably went to my parent’s university to talk to them because they never set foot on my house for that. And I can’t believe my parents actually managed to keep this secret from me.

“So your birthday celebration begins once our classes are over,” Sam states with a big grin and I bite my lower lip, getting awfully excited. I have a feeling this is going to be the best birthday ever.

•••

Zeke takes us to eat to Indian restaurant. A whole new experience, trying new foods and combinations I would have never thought of before but that are extremely delicious, maybe a bit too spicy for me. I have to drink loads of water later as we head to the venue for the gig. I walk in the middle, with Zeke at my right and his arm around my shoulders and Sam at my left, holding my hand. We might have had some alcohol but I think we feel this happy not because of that but because we are together and having fun. Maybe we are drunk in excitement, anticipation and just happiness.

Before our classes were over, Sam pulled me apart and had a talk with me.

“Allie, you’re gonna spend the night at Zeke’s, you’re aware of that, aren’t you?” I only nodded at her question. “He hasn’t told me anything of his plans for you two later but I think today is, well, a special occasion. And for the sake of my sanity, I don’t want to hear details tomorrow.”

When she said that realisation hit me that today is actually a special day and that it could lead to our first time together. Of course I have talked about it with Sam and even if she doesn’t have experience either, she’s told me basically the same: to hold on to our feelings.

So probably another reason why we are laughing so much and feeling like we rule the world is because I’m also a bit nervous about what might happen when Zeke and I are alone.

Once in the theatre where the gig is taking place, we jump and sing along, the three of us enjoying it to the fullest, being controlled by Matty and his charm over the crowd. When Robbers starts playing, Zeke grabs me in his arms and starts dancing with me, singing the words in my ear and I shiver because they are like whispers and this is my favourite song. After the first chorus he presses his forehead against mine and sings to me looking me in the eyes and I start to feel light-headed, not only for all the endorphins released in a typical gig, but also for the way he looks at me and sings to me. He becomes a sight more dashing than Matty Healy on stage and he is my celebrity crush. Apparently I have a thing for skinny, dark-haired boys.

When Matty sings “You look so cold,” Zeke kisses me deeply, holding me tightly, making my world spin around us. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back, forgetting the rest of the world and melting against his chest, feeling how every nerve ending comes alive as his hands press my back, pulling me even closer, going up and down.

When we pull apart my breathing is laboured and I feel suffocated, but I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with being in a crowd and everything to do with Zeke and the way he’s looking at me.

He doesn’t say anything and I don’t either, we just look at each other as smiles start tugging at our lips. I’ve come to realise Zeke and I don’t need words to say what we feel or have in our minds, we know how to read the other and for a moment my parents come to my mind and the way they communicate, how they are always one force against the world. I smile even more because I realise my parents do love each other, like Zeke and I love each other. I understand now.

Once the gig is over and we cheer until our voices are hoarse and my throat actually hurts, we leave the venue still feeling kind of high in happiness and excitement. We get on a double decker bus heading to Sam’s house first, still the three of us together. I start to feel tingles in my belly knowing that after this it’ll be only Zeke and I.

“Have you had fun?” Sam asks me when we’re near her stop.

“Loads! I never thought a birthday could be this fun,” I reply and she smiles radiantly.

“Next year is gonna be even better! No matter where we are in a year, we’ll spend your birthday together,” she promises and my smile widens.

“It’s the first time I’m excited for my birthday to come. And for yours and Zeke’s!” I chirp and she giggles.

“We have so many plans this is great!” I can only agree, it’s great to make plans with your friends.

Then we bid Sam farewell and it’s only Zeke and I, and his attitude changes the moment we’re alone. He hugs me tighter and nuzzles my neck with his nose, leaving feather light kisses that make me shiver. He hasn’t said anything but I feel my insides bubbling with anticipation, not sure of how things will go with Zeke tonight but hoping for the best.

We get off the bus and walk to his house and I decide I want to walk looking at him so I step forward and turn to face him and start walking backwards, like I did in London. This time, however, Zeke grabs my hands to keep me from falling.

“Beth didn’t have night shift this week,” I mention as we near his house. “How’s that she’s not home tonight?” He blushes a bit but doesn’t lose the smile that makes my heart race in anticipation.

“I asked her if she could trade shifts with someone for tonight.” He doesn’t have to explain exactly why he did that, I get it and I bite my lower lip nervously. I miss a step, though, and almost trip but Zeke is faster and grabs me by the waist, pulling me against his chest and stopping me from falling. “Maybe it won’t be the perfect place, maybe I should’ve taken you somewhere else… but I… I thing that tonight is special, you turn eighteen and I just thought—”

I smile when I see him getting so nervous, insecure and ultimately cute. So I stand on my tiptoes and kiss his lips ever so softly.

“It’ll be fine, Zeke, because I’m gonna be with you. I don’t think the place or circumstance makes it special. Those are always excuses, you know how I think. I do, however, believe that what makes a moment special is your disposition and the people you’re with. Tonight it’ll be special.”

I’m so glad we don’t have to say out loud exactly what we both are thinking and what we know it’ll happen. I really love that we seem to work in the same wavelength because it’s making this situation a lot less awkward for the both of us.

“I love you so much, Allie. I really do,” he whispers before kissing me deeply and I just sigh and kiss him back.

He pulls back and smiles at me charmingly before we resume our way until we reach his home. He then leads me to his room which is perfectly clean and tidy and I smile at that sight, knowing Zeke is not the most organised person, which means he really prepared his room for tonight and I just think that’s really cute. Plus, I’ve been in his room before and it’s never been this spotless.

He releases my hand and then goes to his desk to grab something before turning around and facing me again. It’s a frame, a big one and when he hands it to me I can see it’s one of his drawings and in this one I recognise us three: Sam, Zeke and I, smiling and hugging each other, pretty much like today, with me in the middle. It’s water-coloured and very detailed and I just love it. For the first time in my life I feel tears welling up in my eyes and falling down, tears of sheer happiness.

“Happy birthday,” he says, a mere whisper when I look up to meet his eyes. He cups my face and brushes the tears with his thumbs.

I can’t express how much I love his, how happy it makes me to have his drawing of us like this and as words fail me, I do the only thing I can think of: I kiss him fiercely, holding on to him for dear life and I even surprise him a bit, but then he takes control. He grabs the framed drawing and puts it aside, never breaking the kiss, and then his two arms are around me, pulling me upwards, tugging me until I wrap my legs around his hips. The kiss grows frantic and more passionate, I ruffle his hair and he holds me tighter as he starts walking towards the bed. I’m excited, scared, happy, and nervous but overall, I’m overwhelmed by my love for Zeke, a feeling that makes my whole body tingle. I don’t know how things will go tonight, but I trust Zeke and even if it hurts, I know it’ll be fine because it is going to be with Zeke and I love him so much I can’t even begin to understand how loving him like this is possible. I just feel it and I’m sure this is the right time and the right thing to do.

-:-:-

I'm sorry I didn't update before! But I'm back home and I have wifi. It'll be fine now. That said, I hope you liked this chapter. I wanted to post it last Friday but I couldn't :( anyhow, let me know your thoughts!

Bel, xx