I know I was an idiot, that I handled things in the worst way possible. I only made it more complicated instead of acting logically, calmly, and reasonably. That’s how I have to handle my parents, but I just… I just felt so offended for Zeke and for myself. I know I can do so much more, my abilities don’t stop at studying, I’m sure I can handle more than that—even if I failed with my parents now—and I feel really disappointed that they don’t believe in me. They’ve raised me to care only about my future and what I can accomplish, but it’s like they’ve forgotten how to get there. They only see one way and fail at seeing all the other options. That’s very lousy for such brilliant people.

Even if I acted in the least favourable way, I can’t make myself go downstairs, apologise and try to fix this mess. I didn’t know I could be a proud person, but it seems I am and that’s keeping me from mending the situation.

And I don’t do anything for days. Things are really awkward with my parents. We barely talk during breakfast and dinner and we barely make eye contact, but Christmas is next week and I can’t sneak out again. I promised I would never do that again after Halloween and I’m a woman of her word. Zeke says it’s okay, I’m in no way obliged to spend Christmas with him.

“But I want to!” is what I told him the day after the argument with my parents.

He grabbed my cheeks and smiled kindly at me. “I want you to spend Christmas with me, too, but I don’t wanna cause you any trouble, Allie. There’ll be other Christmas for us to spend together. Don’t worry.”

Even if he said that, I still want to spend our first Christmas together. No matter how many more are yet to come, there’ll never be a first Christmas again. When so many experiences are new to me, I want to make them all special.

I’m in my room, talking myself into going downstairs to plead my case again when I hear a knock on my door. I furrow my eyebrows because I’m not expecting Sam or anyone else. And we already had dinner.

“Yes?” I ask out loud before the door opens, revealing my parents there.

“Allison, may we have a word with you?” they request and I sit straighter in my bed. I flinch a bit because it would’ve helped my case if they found me studying instead of staring at the ceiling. In my defence, I already went over all my subjects and I got bored.

“Of course,” I reply awkwardly and they walk in.

The times my parents and I have been in my room are a handful, so this feels even more uncomfortable than it already is.

“First of all,” Father starts. “We want to apologise for our behaviour the other day. And we’re expecting an apology from your part, as well, Allison.”

It takes me five seconds to realise what’s happening, and once I do I blurt out, “Yes. I’m sorry, I reacted irrationally and I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

They nod then Mother speaks. “We do believe in you, Allison. We are aware of your intellectual competence, that’s not the issue. And it was difficult for us to realise what the real issue was because we never imagined we would have to face a situation like this. You never gave signs of wanting these things until recently and we haven’t had enough time to adjust.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, because Mother isn’t being clear enough.

“What we mean,”—Father replies. I’m not even impressed anymore that they manage to have a conversation together, knowing exactly what they are saying. They are really an item—“Is that we are worried about you, Allison. You have a boyfriend, and as parents we worry that he might not be good enough for you, or that he’ll take you on wrong path. You can’t blame us for we have so little information about this boy but what we can see. You know him, we don’t,” he hurries to add before I jump to stand up for Zeke. “We understand your desire to spend Christmas with him, even if it makes no sense. It seems you deeply care about him.”

“I do,” I confirm and they sigh heavily. It’s the first time I see Mum leaning on Dad for support.

“We are very aware of it, by now. So we came here to tell you that you may spend Christmas with him and his family. However,” he adds, cutting me off before I can even express my gratitude. “We want to meet him. You have to bring him for dinner or something so we can judge him fairly.”

“You want to meet him for real?” I question out loud because it just sounds off that my parents are requesting to meet Zeke.

“If he’s your boyfriend, then we have the right to meet him. We are your parents, Allison and even if all this is new to us, we are still aware of the social conventions for these cases,” Mum explains and I can’t fight my smile anymore. I jump off my bed and run to hug them.

“Thank you!” I exclaim and they tense at my actions, but then awkwardly return the hug. “You’ll see he’s more than what he seems and he’s a good guy. Thank you!”

“We will judge that. Remember, no one can make decisions for you, Allison.”

“I know,” I agree with a big smile that they return.

I feel so relieved that they are trying to move with me and accept studying is not the only thing I care about anymore, that I’m a teenager and I have a life now, a life I’m eager to keep exploring.

Now, I’m okay with my parents, they have allowed me to spend Christmas with Zeke. The problem lies now on convincing Zeke to accept having dinner with us. He’s nervous and intimidated by my parents.

“They’ll hate me, Allie. They’ll never let you see me again and force you to transfer or enter Uni even before the A Levels!” he protests but I shake my head vehemently.

“No. They’ll judge you fairly instead of letting your looks deceive him. Please, Zeke. It’s important for me,” I insist, trying the puppy eyes on him and he seems to be under physical pain, but at the end he sighs defeated.

“Fine. I’ll go.” And I’m so ecstatic that he agreed that I just jump in his arm and kiss him, right in the middle of the hall, not caring about anyone else. Not that I mind their opinion, but it’s quite uncomfortable when they start shouting things at you like “get a room” or other more disturbing ones.

So after our classes are over, Zeke and I go to my home and wait for my parents. I give him a tour and then he helps me prepare dinner, just to get some extra brownie points with my parents. They arrive later and seem surprised to see us setting the table.

“Mum, Dad! Welcome home,” I chirp walking up to them. Zeke has stayed behind so I wave at him to come here. “Let me introduce you to Zeke. Zeke, these are my parents.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr and Mrs Brown. Thank you for inviting me to have dinner with you and for letting Allie spend Christmas with us,” he says ever so politely and I smile radiantly.

“Nice to meet you,” Dad speaks for the both of them, Mum only nods curtly. “I see you two went ahead with dinner. Then why don’t we sit so we can have a chat?”

So that’s what we do and I know Zeke is nervous. He barely looks at me and he sits very straight. I’m afraid that he’s even shaking, but he keeps the cool image.

“So you also are in Year 13, as Allison. Are you eighteen already?” Mum asks and Zeke nods.

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies making eye contact just briefly.

“And what are your plans once you finish college?” Dad asks next as he hands Zeke the salad, even if this didn’t ask for it.

Zeke accepts it before replying. “I want to be an illustrator, so I’m thinking of studying Illustration and Animation in the MMU.”

“Illustrator?” Dad asks sceptically and I flinch. His disapproving tone is not subtle at all. Zeke looks down, knowing that Dad doesn’t like his answer. “Won’t that be a bit difficult to make a living out of?”

“I’m aware of it. I want to animate films one day,” Zeke continues and Dad’s stare becomes even more disapproving, so I reach for Zeke under the table, my hand on his thigh, hoping to give him some reassurance.

“That’s not a very secure future you seek,” Mum intervenes, she also looks disapproving.

“Maybe,” Zeke replies. “But it’s my dream and what I love to do.”

“And he’s really talented!” I supply because I’ve seen his work and I know he’ll make it and succeed at it.

“It is a very risky option, Zeke,” Father states, a bit more respectful this time.

“I know, and for that reason I’ll work even harder to accomplish what I want,” Zeke replied confidently and I smile proud of him.

“Then good luck,” Mum wishes him with a small smile on her lips.

I know they don’t like Zeke’s plans for the future, his dream and ambitions, but I guess they respect his passion and that he’s willing to work hard to fulfil his dreams. If there’s something my parents acknowledge is hard work, so in that aspect Zeke won them over.

The rest of the evening goes by less tense. They keep asking him questions about him. They learn Zeke’s fathers died so now it’s only his sister and him. They learn as well how he helps in the orphanage, occasionally the shelter, and the homeless people. They are surprised when they know he was one of the suspended boys over the fight when they were called because of me and they get in an argument on how he shouldn’t take action on his own hands.

“But no one else will stand up for those kids. The headmaster ignores us, the teachers don’t even try anymore and if I don’t do anything, those kids get really hurt. I’m better than them at putting up with a big bully. I have better chances, so I rather take their fights instead of seeing him being hurt,” Zeke explains and I feel a wave of pride washing over me. I know it’s not the best course of actions, but his intentions are the best. The good thing is that since we became friend he doesn’t get in that many fights, but sometimes words won’t stop Butch and the other bullies. Yet Zeke is still there, trying and Sam and I help the bullied kids to run whilst Zeke distracts the bullies.

“The system is wrong. That’s not how a school should work,” Father condemns and in that we all agree so we start talking about ways to help solve the problem even if no one will hear us and fix it. And in that topic we spend most of the evening until we realise it’s that late and Zeke should go home.

My parents say goodbye to him and their expressions are not that severe, but they are not pleased either and Zeke knows it. Yet he remains polite until the end, when I walk him to the door. Before he can say anything, I hug him tightly and he seems surprised at first, but then hugs me back.

“Thank you,” he whispers. “I needed that.”

“I’m sorry my parents are so strict,” I apologise, stepping away to look him in the eyes.

“They are your parents and they try to protect you in their own way. I understand that. And I’m sorry I can’t be what they would like for you, Allie,” he says, cupping my face with one hand.

I shake my head, dismissing his words. “That doesn’t matter, because I like you a lot and that’s what matters because I’m the one in a relationship with you,” I reassure him and he smiles so sweetly at me, making my heart race. I realise then that this is the first time I directly say my feelings for him.

“I like you, too, you know? I like you so much, Allie, it’s not even funny,” he continues making me feel butterflies in my stomach. “And I’m so happy you’ll spend Christmas with us.”

“I’m excited!” I express and he chuckles before grabbing my chin and kissing me softly.

“You know what?” he whispers, his lips almost brushing mine. I keep my eyes closed, enjoying the moment. “I even think I love you.”

My eyes open in surprise. Inexperienced as I am, I’m still aware that those words are important, not knowing exactly how to answer that. I haven’t thought about it, I haven’t explored my feelings that far as to conclude I also love him, but isn’t like the norm I should say it back?

“Don’t worry, you’ll figure out on your own and when it’s time,” Zeke reassures me. “And I get to be the first to say it so Sam won’t tease me about this as well,” he adds and we both chuckle.

“Thank you,” I say and I really mean it because it’s important he knows I won’t rush to make declarations until I’m almost a hundred per cent sure of it, and he’s willing to give me time. He also ignites the process by planting the seed of curiosity in my mind that will lead me to analyse everything in me until I know exactly if I love him, too.

“Good night, Allie,” he says giving me another kiss that last longer this time. “I love you,” he adds before pulling away, smiling and turning on his heels to walk away, leaving me standing there, with my heart beating like crazy and butterflies fluttering in my belly.

“Good night,” I whisper, still watching him disappear in the night. When I can’t see him anymore I go back inside, feeling lightheaded and too happy to sleep.

I can’t wait to tell Sam tomorrow about this!

-:-:-

<3 I hope you liked the chpater :D

Bel, xx