“No,” is father round answer when I ask my parents if I can go to this Friday’s Halloween party. He doesn’t even flinch, he doesn’t even think about it, he just plainly refuses without even letting me finish.

“But Dad, I’ve never asked permission to go to a party and you can’t even complain about my behaviour. I’m doing even better at school, I’m doing charity, which will look even better when I apply to university and it’s a nice party,” I insist but their expressions don’t change.

“Allison Brown,” Mother says sternly. “What got into you? Halloween party? What nonsense is that? It’s just a silly, capitalist tradition that does not resemble in the slightest its original purpose. Costumes and treats? That is so childish and you’re too old for that,” she reasons and I sigh heavily. I won’t go asking for candy like the kids.

“It’s just a party to celebrate Halloween, it’s not bad, Mum. We’ll wear costumes just to make it more fun, but it’s just an excuse,” I try again and Father shakes his head.

“The more reason for you not to go, Allison. Excuses? You don’t do things out of excuses, you do things with a purpose. We are very happy you’re doing charity and that developing a social circle is even expanding your academic horizons, but this is foolish. And don’t try to tell us it’s a nice party because we weren’t born yesterday, Allison. We know how teenagers party these days, so don’t even try to lie to us.” I look down and sigh again. My parents might not care about normal social conventions, but that doesn’t mean they are not aware of them. They just think they are foolish. “Moreover, you haven’t gone to a party so you can’t even state that it’s a nice party.”

“But Sam’s gone and she told me it’s a really nice party, that’s why she is inviting me to this one,” I insist but they keep shaking their heads. “Mum, Dad, please. I just want to go to a party, to know how these are. I’m not asking for too much and I won’t drink or do anything illegal that others might do. I promise! You can trust me.”

“We trust you and we know you won’t do something idiotic like that,” Mum states confidently. “That’s not the problem, Allison. The issue here is that a party is something that won’t benefit you in any way, why would you insist so much on going to such an event?”

I really don’t know what else to say to convince them. Rationally speaking and to their standards it’s true that a party won’t benefit me in any way. I won’t improve my average if I attend to the party, it won’t even matter when I apply to university or any job. It’s something so irrelevant for my future that I have to accept my parents won’t allow it. I know them and I’m aware of what they approve and what not. Festivities like Halloween are just a waste of time and resources and a party on Halloween has no meaning at all from their perspective.

I have to give up on this.

The problem is that I really want to go even if I wasn’t that convinced myself at first. Sam and I kept talking about it the rest of the afternoon, planning the day and coming up with what we would wear. I decided that I wanted to go as one of my favourite characters: Tris Prior, which would be relatively easy considering I’m also blond, skinny and with flat chest, as Tris is described in the books. Sam said she would get some temporary tattoos for me, she even had the Dauntless and Abnegation tattoo symbols that came with the DVD. And as I was going to go as a book character, we decided that Sam should go as a comic character and what better than Loki? In honour of the puppy Zeke adopted, too.

By the time our classes were over we were pretty excited and I really thought my parents would allow me to go, but I forgot I was asking for something that was just for the sake of having fun. I wasn’t convinced at first, why would they agree? I shouldn’t be surprised, and I’m not, I’m just disappointed. Plus, Zeke is also going and he never goes to these parties, I convinced him and I really wanted to go with him and see him in costume.

“Okay,” I accept defeated. “I understand, you’re right.”

I hear Dad breathing deeply before his hand is on my shoulder. “We know you want to experience life and do things other kids are doing, but a party is not necessary. There are other forms of recreation. Or even other kind of parties. A Halloween party is ridiculous.”

I smile because even if they are not granting me permission, they still understand my reasons to go. They just don’t approve of them. However, the fact that Father is trying to comfort me means they are accepting I’m not the study bug I was before, that I’m spreading my wings and seeing beyond the textbooks. They are not disapproving of this new me and that means more than going to a party.

It’s true you can’t get all what you want and I can’t be greedy.

“I know, Dad,” I smile at him and he gives me a feeble one. It’s really nice to see them being a bit warmer than they used to be and I guess it’s due to me, because I’ve changed they are also evolving, adapting and we’re finding a new ground for us. They give in to certain things and I know the limits of what I can get. I guess that’s how families really work, in different terms and different ways, but it’s all about taking and giving.

After that I go to my room to study—and inform Sam that it didn’t work—whilst my parents prepare dinner. I open the textbook where I last left it and then get my mobile to ring Sam. She picks up at the third tone.

“So, did they let you go? I have the tattoos ready so you’ll look amazing and—“

“Sam,” I cut her off. “My parents said no.”

It’s silence then and I even pull the mobile away to see if the communication got cut or something, but no, the call is still going so I call her name two times before she says something.

“What do you mean they said no?” she questions and I release a humourless chuckle.

“I mean they said no, I can’t go to the party. I told you, they think that Halloween is just a capitalist tradition with no meaning whatsoever so there’s no point to go to a party. I think they would allow me to go to a New Year’s party, though,” I muse because New Year is one of the few things we celebrate, in fact they have gone to the university’s party before and I’ve stayed home.

“There’s two months before New Year’s, Allie, and you’re not even sure if they would let you. Do you want my mum to call your parents and try to convince them?” she offers and I shake my head, even if she can’t see that.

“No, they won’t change their mind. I understand their point of view and I actually think they’re right. It sucks because I really want to dress as Tris and go,” I say still feeling defeated although I rationally understand and agree with my parents. “Plus, Zeke is going because I convinced him and now I won’t be going so I kind of feel a bit bad about it. Sorta hypocrite.”

“Are you sure you can’t convince them? You’re quite good at that, like really, really good. Better than any other kid I’ve met, you really know how to communicate with your parents,” my friend comments and I smile.

“It’s because I know how to communicate with them that I’m sure they won’t change their minds. I’m sorry I can’t go with you, Sam,” I apologise and something tells me that now she’s shaking her head because I think I hear a ruffle.

“I really wanted you to go,” she laments and I sigh because I really wanted to go, too.

“Maybe I’ll rebel and escape through the window and just go,” I joke but Sam doesn’t laugh and the fact that she is considering this makes me consider it, too.

How terrible would it be? I mean, it’s not like I’m going to go and get wasted and go totally wild, I just want to dress like Tris, see what a party is like, stay for a little while, and then come back. I want to be with my friends for a while without harming anyone. I know my parents said no and I understand them, I don’t think they are being unfair or anything, but I just really want to go.

Would it make me a bad daughter? Probably, for disobeying their orders and lying, because they could never find out, of course. But is it that terrible? Is it unforgivable? I mean, I’ve seen in many films and read in many books the main characters doing something like this and it’s never been a big deal… until they get caught. If I get caught it would be bad, my parents wouldn’t trust me anymore and things would be really complicated after that. But if I just go for an hour—two top—it wouldn’t be that bad, right?

“Sam,” I say at the same time she says, “Allie.”

“Are you really considering this?” she asks me and I surprise myself with my reply.

“I really am,” I confess and we stay in silence for a few more seconds.

If I rebel now, if I really go even if my parents didn’t allow me to, I have to promise I won’t do something like this again. Just this time, to know what a party is like and to know what if feels to break the rules just once. If I ever ask them to let me go to a party and they say no, then I won’t go and I will never think of disobeying them ever again.

“But only this time. I will never do something like this again, I won’t disobey them ever again,” I state and I’m already nervous.

“Are you sure? Aren’t you scared it’ll get you in a billion problems?”

“I’m scared, but I also want to try this. And it’s not like I’m going to do drugs or something illegal, I just want to see what a party is like with my own eyes and for a brief moment. I’ll be back soon and like I left. Besides, it’s not like they didn’t let me go because it’s dangerous or something like that, they refused just because it’s nonsensical for them.”

I hear Sam sighing and I know she’s nervous, just like me. “Are you sure?” she inquires again. “Because if you’re not sure, then don’t do it. I don’t want you to get in trouble and then your parents to forbid you to see me again, because if you’re sure I’ll be your accomplice.”

I smile at her words, glad that I have a friend who cares about me but who also would be my accomplice in something that’s not right. She doesn’t blindly jump into this plan, she’s also rational and that makes me appreciate her even more.

“I’m sure,” I say convinced that what I’m doing is not that terrible and confident it’ll work out well. It’s not that difficult and I’m not doing something outrageous at all. It’s not like I’ll spend the night out or I’ll go to another city. It’s actually quite close to my own home. “And I promise I won’t drag you with me if I get caught.”

“Are you joking? If you fall, I fall with you. Together in jail, you know? We might even get matching tattoos there, what do you say? I’d like one of My Little Pony,” she jokes and I’m glad she’s doing that so the mood is not as tense.

“Sounds good to me, but probably we need to start watching the show to decide which one we want,” I ponder and we both hum in agreement before I crack up laughing first. “I’m grateful you’re up to go to jail with me, Sam.”

“That’s what friends are for, Allie. A best friend not only laughs with you, a best friend also helps you hide the body of your first murder.”

I laugh again because I totally thought she would say something like wipe your tears or let you soak your tee.

“Totally right, Sam. It’s good to know I won’t be alone when I kill my first victim. Thank you, I appreciate the support. I’ll also help when it happens to you,” I promise and I bet she’s nodding solemnly.

“Our friendship is great. And we’ll plan your escape majestically so no one will ever find out. I mean go big or go home, right? It’ll be the perfect crime!” she laughs creepily, like a villain.

“Uhh, getting ready for the party? You’re totally getting into character already,” I tease her. “But really, thank you. We’ll plan it all tomorrow, okay? When we go to get your costume,” I propose.

“Totally. I’ll see you tomorrow, then. Now you can go back to study because I’m sure you have your book open already,” I laugh because she’s totally right. “I knew it. Study hard!”

“See you tomorrow,” I promise and we hang up.

I’m nervous but excited at the same time, and twice as eager for the party to come. I hope we have fun together and disobeying my parents is worth it.

-:-:-

Allie is rebelling :O Let's hope it goes well ;) and thanks for comments and votes. Remember tha tbest comment gets dedication!

Bel, xx