I’m on the edge because we’re not only seven days away from the date in my dream, which I keep having, exactly like the first time. I tell myself that the dream is recurrent because I’m too aware and concerned about it, hence my subconscious is playing what I think of the most during the day. But as if that is not enough, I get even more déjà vus, although I’m not sure if I should call them that when in fact I have dreamt of something and then I see it happening. But I refuse to call them premonitions, such a thing does not exist.

Three days ago I dreamt Sam tripped and sprained her wrist at lunch time so, just in case, I walked with her, my arm looped around hers and when she tripped because some of Butch’s puppets stuck out his foot, I could hold her, stopping her from landing on her wrist when she fell.

“Why thank you, Allie. That was a close one,” she told me and I just smiled nervously, feeling my anxiety eating me alive because I had once again dreamt of something that actually happened. I managed to change the outcome, but she still tripped.

I’m sleeping less lately, which makes me even more anxious and edgy. My parents are worried and ask me if everything is okay, and I assure them that everything is, I’m just getting anxious because the A Levels are getting close. I can’t tell them I’m becoming paranoid for a dream I had seven months ago. How do I tell them I’m scared my dream might come true? How do I tell them about all those little dreams that have come true? How do I explain these weird déjà vus that let me predict what will happen three seconds beforehand? I can’t explain it to myself.

Sam is also worried, she’s noticed my attitude lately and has pointed out the dark bags under my eyes or how I seem to have lost some weight.

“Allie, is something wrong?” she questions for the third time because I haven’t listened to her until then.

I snap and blink away the stupor after watching how a girl shook a friend’s can before he opened it, making the drink attack him. I knew exactly that it was going to happen before the girl even shook the can.

“No, I just got caught up watching something, that’s all,” I reply but Sam looks at me dubiously. She clearly doesn’t buy my lie. “That girl played a prank on his friend. It was funny,” I smile and point at the boy now soaked in Pepsi.

“Are you sure? You’ve been… odd for the past two weeks. If something is bothering you, you know you can tell me, Allie. I’m your friend.”

Sam reaches out to grab my hand and gives me a tight squeeze. I smile at her, appreciating her concern but not saying a word.

We’ve been friends for seven months and in all that time I haven’t told her a word about my dream. At first I was scared she might judge me. Then I didn’t care about the dream that much. Then I preferred not to talk about it. Now I don’t even know if I can talk about it and I’m afraid she might feel hurt is she knows I never told her about it when clearly it is an issue that’s worrying me now, which means it is important. I don’t want her to believe I don’t trust her but I don’t really know how to approach the topic. I should’ve done it before, like I did with Zeke.

He’s sitting across from me and he’s also worried, his expression is evident.

“Is it because of Butch?” he asks and I shake my head.

After that encounter with Butch he’s tried to get back on me. Most of the time I can avoid him because I know exactly what he’s going to do, which helps me to dodge all his attacks and even have a teacher around when I know he’ll approach me. I once recorded him threatening to kill a guy so the next time he came looking for trouble I showed him the video and told him I would present it to the police. Good thing he’s quite the idiot, it’s not like the police will take him into custody for that, but I make it sound like they will and that scares him.

“No, I don’t care about him,” I reply. “He might try to bully me, but it doesn’t work. He’ll get tired eventually. That really isn’t a problem and I’m fine,” I repeat when I notice Sam is about to say something. “Maybe I’m just gonna catch a cold or something.”

Both look at me unconvinced but then it’s time to go to class and we can stop discussing the topic. When Sam and I leave our classroom, Zeke is waiting for me and gives Sam a look that makes her say, “Mum wants me to help her with something so I can’t join you today. Have fun, but not too much fun without me. Bye!” And after that she’s running down the corridor, leaving Zeke and I alone.

“Fancy a walk?” he asks me and I just smile.

He grabs my hand and we leave the building. He tells me about his portfolio and how he has an interview coming, so he’s nervous. I tell him things will be fine and try to comfort him the best I can. I know he’ll get accepted and he’ll do amazing in Uni. I’ve seen most of his works and they are so amazing. He’s currently working on a small graphic novel to present and I’m dying to see what he’s done with that.

We stop to buy coffee and then keep walking, talking about the kids at the orphanage and then about this event the shelter is having to raise some funds.

“Have I distracted you enough?” he asks me at some point and I look at him confused.

“What do—?”

“What’s going on, Allie? Why are you so edgy lately?” he questions, cutting me off and I tense.

“I’m fine, Zeke, really. I just—”

“Allie, I know you. Something is bugging you and I want to know I’m here for you. I want to help you,” he interrupts once again.

We stare at each other, a contest to see who gives in first and it’s me. I’m tired and after all Zeke knows about my dream so I can talk to him about it.

“My dream happened on the twenty-third of April, one week from now,” I start and he listens, not interrupting me this time. “And I guess I’m… I’m scared, Zeke. What if it comes true?”

He smiles kindly at me before asking me, “Why do you think it might come true? What are your proofs?”

I chuckle at the way he is trying to keep a logical tone and asking for sensible questions so I feel more at ease talking about it.

“Have you ever had a déjà vu?” I question and he frowns but then shrugs.

“Some times, but everyone has them.”

“I have them too often, Zeke. Like crazily often and they are long and I stay in a kind of delay. I see things happening before they happen. Like I know you’ll say certain word the moment you open your mouth. It’s not all the time, but often,” I explain and he keeps his brow furrowed. “Remember when I jumped on Dana to stop her from bumping into Butch? It was because I was having a déjà vu.”

“Oh well that’s… peculiar,” he concedes and I sigh.

I look down at my feet on the ground as we keep walking. One then the other, slowly, steadily.

“It weirds me out,” I accept and I feel him squeezing my hand a bit tighter.

“Yeah, but a déjà vu is not a dream. That you have weird ones doesn’t mean that a dream you had last year is gonna come true,” he inputs and I nod heaving a tired sigh.

“Yeah, but I’ve had the dream again. Not as vividly as then, more like dreaming the dream I guess.”

Zeke stops and makes me turn to face him. His expression is serious and determined. “Allie, that’s because you’re worried about the dream. That’s not proof enough that it will come true.”

“Other dreams have come true,” I accept in a whisper, not capable of looking at him in the eyes. “Others silly, small dreams have come true.”

He doesn’t say anything for a few moments and then he lets go of my hand to grab my chin and make me look at him. “What have you done about those dreams?”

“Well, they are normally innocuous so I just let them be, but if it’s something more important I do something to change them,” I tell him and he smiles at me.

“There you have it, Allie. You can change them, they are not fixed. Even if you dream comes true or starts to come true. So many things have changed. The Allie in the dream isn’t the same Allie you are today, is she? You already have changed the context of that dream so it can’t happen like that.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“Of course!” he chirps and I’m surprised. “And even if that accident happens then you can do something to stop it because you’re aware of it. You can’t stop what trigged it so either way it won’t come true. You’re not dying, Allie. Not like that.”

I only look at him, letting his words wrap me and comfort me. He sounds so certain and that’s what I need now when I feel so insecure and afraid.

“Can I?” I question and he smiles brightly at me.

“Of course. If we were warned every time an accident might happen then we could help so many others. I don’t know why you’re having these dreams, Allie, but you need to relax. Don’t let it affect you because no matter what, you are not hopeless. And in one week you won’t have to worry more about the dream, it’ll be in the past.”

“Why do you think I’m having all these little dreams?” I ask him next and he shrugs.

“I’m not the one who’ll study neuroscience.” He smiles. “But maybe because you’re too worried about this dream and becoming paranoid, so your brain is playing tricks on you, offering you likely scenarios to make you freak out.”

“Bad brain, such a twat,” I comment and Zeke snorts.

“Bad, bad brain indeed.” He then leans in and gives me a light peck on the lips. I manage to taste sweet caramel macchiato before he pulls away. “Feeling better?” he questions and I nod.

“Thank you, Zeke. I think I might even specialise in dreams in the future,” I comment resuming my walking, still holding Zeke’s hand and with the other my cup with vanilla latte.

“As long as you don’t go crazy and start manipulating people’s dream I guess ‘s okay,” he says and I chuckle. “It might be scary is someone can control our dreams.” He shivers and I keep chuckling.

“If I could, I would only give you nice dreams,” I tell him, looking at him and how he gives me a sweet smile.

“Oh, look at you, all sappy and everything. You have definitely changed,” he laughs and I stick out my tongue in a childish gesture.

We keep walking and I feel so much better. I was indeed freaking out, letting my subconscious play pranks on me and make things look worse than they are. Zeke is right, the dream can’t come true because even if I see things going in that direction I can do something about it and stop it. Like I saved Sam from spraining her wrist or Dana from bumping into Butch. I can surely stop the accident or save myself and everyone else if it comes to that.

Everything will be fine.

-:-:-

Today I finished writing Rewind. It has 45 chapters + epilogue and yes, I cried. My babies TT.TT what are your preditions?

Bel, xx