I’m Allison Brown and if I die today, you won’t remember my name. I’m just a blur in the landscape because I’ve made sure it’s like that. People try to stand out, especially teenagers. I mean, I’m seventeen years old but I don’t even think of standing out among the sea of people. I’m in year thirteen, finishing college and preparing for the A Levels so I can get in a great university. I want Cambridge.

But standing out demands time and energy and to be honest, all my time and energy go to my preparation. I don’t care if you don’t remember my name today because you’ll remember it in the future. When I make a difference in the world.

Maybe I’ll discover something new that’ll change everyone’s lives.

Maybe I’ll find the cure for cancer.

Maybe I’ll come up with a new theory that’ll change all what we think we know.

The possibilities are endless and I’m doing the best I can to be the best person I can in the future. School and college are just a small part of my life. I mean, college is just two years. When we were in year eleven most people around me seemed desperate to start college, like their whole lives were depending on these two years but come on, it’s just two years. You have a whole life ahead and that’s far more important.

My parents tell me that all I do while I’m a teenager is to prepare my future, to pay the road to a bright life. I can’t waste these years in things that will go away. Knowledge and hard work will stay with me and I need that if I plan on getting in Cambridge.

April 23rd and it’s the same. Always the same. The alarm goes off like every morning. I turn it off, leaving my bed after a heavy sigh, go to the bathroom and get ready. I barely pay attention to my reflection in the mirror, I know what will look back at me. A pale girl with dull blue eyes and really blonde straight hair. Plain and boring and I don’t do anything to make it different, more alive. It’s okay like this, it’s easier to make people not notice you.

My parents are always awake when I make my way down. I’m an only child and they are both professors at Manchester University. Both for the science department and believe me, both are really strict and professionals and cold. Yes, very cold. I don’t remember the last time my mother gave me a hug or a kiss. Let’s not even mention my father. Both of them encourage me to try harder, to work harder to accomplish my dreams.

“Have a good day, Allison,” Mother and Father say every day when I leave to go to college.

On my way I keep my eyes on the ground, I don’t make eye contact with anyone. Not even in the bus, not even in the halls. And when I walk in class I just sit in front row and only listen to the professor. I think I’m the only one who really pays attention. All my other classmates are too busy being teenagers.

My parents are just professors, they are not really successful in the sense we are just middle class, that’s why we can’t afford a public school to finish my sixth form, so it has to be college. This college is a good place, though. I’m making the best out of it. I know I’ll make it anyways.

So that’s how the day goes. Never talking to anyone, never bothered by anything. And my last class is chemistry, which is my favourite. So I’m the first in the lab. I slowly see it get crowded, the students arriving and taking their seats and finally the teacher. That’s the only moment I smile. Mrs White is my favourite teacher because she’s so passionate. She wants to teach us so many things but well, the rest of my classmates are not that interested. She does what she can. We usually make some experiments to really understand the processes and I think she’s realised that the more ‘dangerous’ the experiment, the more attention the students pay. I’m pretty sure that’s not a good combination, though.

So today it’s a simple experiment, dealing with acids to see the disintegration of some elements. If everyone is careful no one should be burnt to death so I don’t worry. I just do my usual work. Mrs White insists that we work in couples but we are an odd number so I have the joy to work alone. She doesn’t mind, she knows it’s better like that. Any other person would hold me back.

The experiment is simple and I finish in no time, with a smile in my lips when I see the results. There’s something so unique and special when you see the result of an experiment, when you can see the physical evidence of a theory.

I look at the others because I don’t have anything to do, just to see their experiments. The two boys in front of me are goofing around, pretending to be all tough by playing with acid. If one of them gets burnt I will only shake my head.

Next to me there’s another couple and they are working hard, very concentrated. Two girls, one with raven black straight hair that reaches her shoulders, and another with long dark curly hair that she keeps in a loose ponytail to avoid any kind of accident.

They are not the best, but they are trying. I wish all the students would try instead of pretending they are cool by playing with acid. Seriously, some minds are out of my scope of understanding, and because they are too basic.

I sigh and decide that I’ll read the book for the English class, but when I focus again on my desk I hear something that I shouldn’t hear.

One of the boys who were playing with the acids drops it and screams like a little five-year-old girl. It’s chlorohydrin acid with a high concentration, but still not that big of a deal. Yet these boys have no idea and react badly. That’s the real problem. They never paid attention to the instructions in case of an accident. What do they do instead? Scream, throw everything away, including flammable things and that’s when hell breaks loose.

I’m not sure how many products they had on their spot but soon they all mix up and fire breaks through. Everyone is screaming now when they see the table catching fire. The two boys on the floor, screaming scared. Mrs White trying to scream louder, asking everyone to stay calm and do as they have been told many times, but no one obeys.

Until it’s too late.

I don’t know why I don’t move. I know what to do, I’m calm. Maybe too calm. I can only see the flames and the liquids pouring to the floor and before I can blink, there’s an explosion. The stools, glass and everything that was near, fly in every direction, including my direction.

When people say ‘It happened in slow motion’ I think they are lying because all this happens too fast, I don’t even notice. One moment it’s all bright, the next I’m on the floor with a table on top of me, acid reaching me, fire all around whilst the hullaballoo of screams is piercing my ears.

I know I’m hurt but I don’t feel anything. I’m numb and I can’t move, I can only see blurry things around me. People running, I think, I’m not sure.

How bad is this? How badly injured I am?

“Oh my God, Allison! Allison!” someone screams, I think it’s Mrs White. I’m not sure.

There are more screams, terror everywhere and I think someone grabs my hand but then there’s another explosion and this time I do feel the pain of things in me, buried in my flesh as everything burns around me.

And that’s the moment I think: I’m going to die.

And I can’t believe how cold I feel. It’s like nothing matters and you know when people say ‘my whole life flashed before my eyes’? Well, it’s true and what I see is nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I have no friends who will miss me. My parents won’t shed a tear for me. I have accomplished nothing. I’m no one. No one will ever remember there was an Allison Brown. I have no life to remember and I have left no print.

Nothing. Nothing at all.

And that’s what unleashes the panic inside. That’s the moment I scream, for the first time that day. That’s the moment I realise I don’t want to die. And that’s the moment I realise how badly this is.

I’m lying on glass, acid all around, burning and eating my skin. All kind of tools are buried in my skin and I know I’m losing blood fast and on top of that tables and stools are on top of me as the flames embrace the whole room.

I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die today and like this. This wasn’t mean to happen. It was a minor accident that got out of hand. I can’t die like this. Please, not like this. My life is nothing, I’ve been nothing. I don’t want to end up like this.

Not like this.

Please.

“P-p-please,” I whisper, realising in that moment my voice has almost disappeared. “H-h-help,” I choke.

But that’s the moment everything explodes around me, louder and worse than the other two times and this time everything turns black and there’s nothing. Nothing at all. I’m nothing.

-:-:-

AN: Please remember this story takes place in England, Manchester. When it says college it means sixth form. It's not what US citizens call college. Do not get confused. College are years 12 and 13.

That said, I hope you enjoyed the prologue. The first chapter will be up on Sunday. I'll be updating this story just once a week for now, so be patient. At the sidebar a picture of what I picture Allison to look like.

Bel, xx