Three four-wheel drive loaded with adults, luggage and hungry bored kids; some grumpy and some adults just plain sick of the trip. I felt so awful for making them all come on the long arduous journey to my childhood home.

Once we had made it to Roma, with everyone showered, fed and tucked up in bed it didn't seem so daunting though. Yes, there was still more endless bitumen to come. Yes, when we woke another four hours of driving loomed but finally we would arrive; we would get to the property and I, got home.

The CB Radios in the cars proved invaluable, if we needed to point out something we could. If the kids were bored, they played games with them and I was asked numerous times 'are we there yet' by the big kids.

"This place is so sparse and open..." Paul's broken sounding voice shot through our vehicle. I picked up the cb "I think England can fit in Queensland around 6 times. I-" My voice of local knowledge was cut off as George bellowed.

"Flat tyre!!!" George yelled, we all pulled over to help unload the ton of luggage that was positioned over where the spare tyre was situated. With the flat finally changed, the poor tyre was loaded into the back again and luggage reloaded. Flies swarming around us the entire time. "Right everyone one last good stretch and we'll set off again"

"I'm so sorry, it's so far" I spoke to no one in particular but everyone turned around at once. All talking over the top of each other, all making it plainly clear that they wanted to be here, to experience this vast country.

Linda had been constantly clicking away, happy for the different shots and landscapes she saw.

Even the tyre change was photographed.

So we hit the road, and swat flies, and pointed out Emus and roos, for another two hours....

As we pulled up to my familys property gate I felt a pang of guilt. I haven't been home for ten plus years, what a horrible daughter I am.

"Let me drive, ok John. It might be a while but I still know every rut and soft patch in this poor excuse of a driveway" I grabbed the CB radio to tell everyone what was going on "Ok everyone can you please pull forward through the gate and I'll close it behind you"

I jumped out of the car and felt nervous butterflies rippling through me- home, I was home. With frantic, excited feet I opened the gate for John so he could pull through giving enough room for all three vehicles to clear the gate.

The sun was now heading down fast. I wanted to have everyone parked in the home paddock well before nightfall.

Running back to John, I paused at Linda's window with a smile a river wide "Right last leg guys, setting sun and dust, hang back and keep a look out if I pull up suddenly up ahead, you might not see me til the last sec" I repeated the instructions to George and Olivia once more.

John gripped my hand over the gear shift once I took over the driving, giving me a squeeze. He really knew me now, knew I was shaking with nerves and happiness and anticipation.

As the road was eaten up by the miles, as we closed in on the property, my nerves were on show and he took the time to calm my frazzled senses.

I set a pretty solid pace though still safe. Over the last couple of hundred kilometres the boys had driven well.

Smiling I pointed through the trees at the little lights growing ever bigger but still ten k' or so away.

"Long walk for the mail" I smiled at John and, excited for me, he squeezed my hand, as it bounced on the gear stick over the rough gravel road.

I was so nervous, it had been years and years, I was a horrible daughter for not coming home, visiting. Lights blazed ahead of us and, as realisation dawned, I groaned.

"What's the matter darlin?"

"Somethings wrong, those lights, at the sheds, that's the horses stables and yard. Its usually locked down and tidy at this time of night"

"Maybe they just want you to see the horses"

"Yea maybe" I pulled round the old willow tree and my mum stood, hands on hip, in the middle of the track, flagging me down.

"Mum! What are you doing down here?" I stumbled out of the car quickly, forgetting our reunion. My head kicked into farm mode as I bolted toward her.

Her face was hot and flustered, she was worried and she never worried; and she was never down at the yards after three; she was a stickler for schedules and meal times.

"Sammy it's your dad hun, he went out earlier, he's not come back."

"When?"

"Some time after sun up, he went off to move water to the next long paddock B to C it says in his diary. I thought I heard him moving machinery this afternoon, but I must have been mistaken. The quads' not here nor the water tank trailer"

"You sent Jeffery out already, didn't you?"

"He's not here lovey, they're all not here. We sent them away for the week because you were coming. I know how you don't like Jeff"

"Motorbike?"

"No it's in pieces. Monty's all saddled and ready. Do you think....?"

My years on the land kicked in and I was now on autopilot.

Striding across dry brown grass toward the barn with mum trying to keep up, John now following further behind with Linda taking up the rear "Saddle bag, torch, rope, flares, blanket. Hello Monty P, my big boy, remember me?"

I pulled on the jeans mum had folded on the chair, thankfully they still fit, then with quick fingers I strapped the rest of the stuff to my back, tied the saddlebag and put the helmet torch light on and off to check its batteries.

"Sam what's happening?"

"Dads out there somewhere I've got to go"

"It's nearly dark"

"Yea so I better high tail it" Leading Monty out of the stable I re-checked his girth as he was a bugger with blowing himself up with air then relaxing... making the girth loose and saddle slip. The bridle looked snug, bit his favourite and reins supple. "Walkie talkie mum!" Mum thrust it in the saddle bag and held out the .22 calibre rifle, a worried look passing fleetingly over her face.

"Kneel Monty, kneel"

"It's been a long time luv.... there's a tree stump across the way"

"Monty P kneel" and with that he sank one leg down to kneel, giving me a spot to hop up. He was over 18 hands high, a monster in size but was once my baby. Monty P... P for Python (that should give George a good laugh) was a dark buckskin Australian Stock Horse, dad bought him for my 17th birthday as a yearling a little over 1 year old. I trained him, shod him, worked him, teaching him to be a sensible fella.

He's up in the tooth now but still a lot of life left in the middle aged old boy yet. Fed and treated well a horse will do good moderate work for years more.

As Monty felt the nervous tension coursing around him he circled quickly, ears twitched and tail swished. Gathering up the loose rein it suddenly occurred that I should have introduced mum to John before I mounted "Mum- John, John- Mum" I leant low, bum up and out of the saddle as I went down low on Montys' near side, leaning to place a kiss on John's forehead. I couldn't reach any lower.

Monty bounced forward a few steps and I reeled him around and away from the group were they stood in confusion "Whoa fella!"

Although he was flighty and stirred up my years of riding came back quickly. A bit of the proverbial 'always remember how to ride a bike' kicking in.

Noticing Linda head back to the car as I turned Monty for the far hill. I pointed out Lin and Paul to mum "Don't let them two out at night mum.... They can ride but they don't know the terrain. B to C you said right?" Mum nodded.

"Yes dear. Swift safe feet my luv"

"Always mum" Monty bounced forward, again sensing the panic from mum and the strangeness in the air "I'll call up when I hit the trough."

I rounded Monty til he focused and watched as mum opened the paddock gate.

"Be careful Sam!" John had Jasmine and Stephen under his wings.

"Like riding a bike" I smiled down at them trying to show some calm in my face.

Pushing Monty forward he jumped and launched into a flat out gallop.

The first paddock by the house was long and level if I could get it out of the way quick I had a better chance to get into the hill's before dusk really did set in. Monty was always a good ride, smooth and safe, I just hoped we both remembered every old rabbit or hare hole and he cleared the rest..

Johns POV

I have never seen a girl change so much in mere minutes, timid and shy most of the time, to taking over the whole show, out into the night she gallops to find her dad.

I walked back over to the cars.... George, Richie, Barbara and Olivia all trying to work out what the hell was going on, Linda was trying to explain but didn't know the whole story either.

"Was that Sam on that monster" George pointed at the small shape in the distance. I nodded.

She looked................." I grabbed Sean and hugged him.

"Fantastic, alive, in total control" Linda through words into the air, all true. "I managed some awesome shots too."

"She'll be ok, won't she?" Olivia spoke up airing my own concerns that I was thinking, but trying not to show to the kids.

"The way she took over like a pro I'm sure she will be. Linda can you drive the car to the house with Paul and George. I'll go back check on Sam's mum" John turned to look at the older woman wringing her hands "She's still stood looking a bit lost"

"Jas, Stephen, want to come with me met your nan, give her a hug.... I think she needs hugs right now"

We wandered back over to the shed, stepping into the now empty stable, Sam's mum hadn't moved. "Mrs B can I do something.... shall we go up to the house, is there a walkie talkie up there?"

"Oh yes dear, John, isn't it. Oh who are these two darlings; you wouldn't happen to be Jasmine and Stephen now would you!?"

"Yes mam"

"Yes nan, nana, grammy, grandmum. Call me anything !!" She hugged the children lightly not wanting to scare them being overly emotional. "And this handsome young man behind his daddy... hello there"

"Yea, this is Sean"

"I know who Sean is he's the little fella that introduced Sam to her new fella" Mrs Bardon smiled at me and gave me a hug, whispering "Thank-you for bringing my baby home"

We chatted as we ambled back to the sprawling house, it was a huge timber building with wide verandahs all the way around and that hall, the one the kangaroos fled through, was lit showing row upon row of photographs; and stood in the corner, by the door, a coat rack full of an assortment of hats, caps and the famous akubra Sam had told me so wistfully about. Long, full length moleskin coats hung heavy on horse shoe nails by the rack.

As we walked up the stairs at the front, the troop assembled, sitting on deckchairs, leaning on the verandah railing all smoking or just gazing at the surroundings and mountains beyond. Sam was out there now, somewhere, alone. Yes it is her home but it had been so long since she had set foot here, I hope she'll be ok.

"Well when she comes home she certainly packs a lot in her carry on!!" Mrs B wandered round the children saying hello and telling them to run in and find the drinks and biscuits she had set out ready in the kitchen. Chatting to girls I overheard her giving Linda comfort for Sam's night ride, patting Linda's hand but not taking much of Linda's comfort back regarding her worry about her husband.

Paul and George, stood together, leaning on the railing, called me over to point out toward the hills "there's a light there, higher now"

"Yes she's going well, a bit too fast but that horse will see her through. Those hills were her backyard for a long time you know, I'm sure it will all settle back around her like it was yesterday. I'm Nancy by the way and you are..." Paul and George turned around, Richie stepped into the frame she did a double take then looked at me again. "Oh my, Beatles as I live and breathe!! I need to sit.... now!"

"Here you go, have a drink of water. So hubs is out there, you're cool as a cucumber and then you lay eyes on us lot and wham, you're feeling faint! I don't know whether to worry bout you and your husband or if you're going to demand us sing all night!!" Paul sat beside Nancy holding her hand making her smile and move her eyes over us all.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, just don't walk over to that record player will you. I'll be ever so embarrassed!

Linda walked through the french doors to my left, she'd been to check up on the unusually quiet, children. You have a beautiful home Mrs B, I mean Nancy. I hope I've got us all in the right rooms, most of the kids have crashed. I found Sam's old room. John, boys, you need to go look in there!"

"She'll have your guts for garters you lot. But go anyway I need a good laugh" Nancy stood holding onto Paul's arm. She didn't really need it but the doe eyed boy always was a favourite with the ladies and I think she was enjoying the attention.

Nancy lead us down the corridor to Sam's room.

I feel like I'm violating some sort of code but we had already had a chat about her room so how bad can it be. I walked in first and smiled, flopping down on her bed. I spotted heaps of blue, red and green pony club ribbons sewn into a wall hanging, some trophies, a jewellery box and other bits and pieces. Linda, Paul and I broke out in hysterics when we saw what her mum had done for her. "So you did know we were all coming?"

"Oh no, she just said she was playing a prank on you, luv!" Nancy was lovely, patting me on the back as I coughed with laughter. I could see Sam in her eyes and the way her mouth turned at the edges.

Richie wandered in at that point "Blimey Charley, I'm in mirror heaven, who's a handsome boy then!" Richie wiggled his head in mop top fashion and stood under the posters along one wall, Linda taking a few pics.

"There's like ten Beatle posters here, that's thirty pictures of Ringo poor you had to cut out and tack on our heads" Paul was leaning on Linda smiling at Mrs B, as George finally strolled in.

"Shit, it's like a flaming horror movie"

"Hey! Watch it Harrison" Rich retorted, grinning proudly.

"Oh it was my pleasure chopping round your nose for weeks, was therapeutic Richard dear" We all laughed again, she was awesome.

Nancy then studied her handy work. "Though I am a tad worried I might damage you lot when I rip Ringo's head off!"

Rich visibly paled and held his neck.

"Was nice gazing at you all while cutting them out though. Martin, that's her daddy, my hubby, was a bit irked, I had the LP on good and loud while I was doing all this. Well now, it's a shame our Samantha missed the prank." She turned to me and patted my knee "I am chuffed. The whole four of you- here in my home and your lovely families too. This house has been too quiet, what with Sam away and Lisa at UNI"

"Thank-you for having us." I stood up and hugged Nancy, she had that beautiful motherly vib, a good humorous personality.

Sam was a lucky girl, maybe Sam would be willing to share....maybe she wouldn't return with me to the States after being home again... " Now how about we get a cuppa tea and sit with that walkie talkie.... Paul and George, Rich maybe we all sit on the verandah in case there is a flare or something?"

"She won't send up a flare unless she sees lights- a vehicle or a chopper coming toward her. Come on, all in for a brew, its getting cool" Nancy pushed everyone through into the living room and went to fetch tea.

I was pacing at the window in the room adjacent to where everyone was drinking tea and telling stories. It was darker in here so I could see out into the night. Paul stopped me, catching my sleeve as I peered out into the darkness "She'll be right mate, yea"

"I just found her, I can't lose her Paul" Paul gave me a bit of a side hug and looked up at the hills.

"Hey let's play mum a song or troll through that wicked record stack over there"

George overheard Paul and walked over with him as he wandered away from me. They laughed at the HELP! LP still positioned under the needle.

"HELP! , Mrs B?" George inquired.

"Yes Mister Harrison. Yes HELP!, and why not that one!"

"First names, please Mrs B. Mister this and that... well that's our old man init ..... And our other albums, Revolver and Sgt Peppers are..." Paul trying to point out the virtues of our later songs.

"I like the younger one's love, though Sam bought them all"

I walked through and lay down on Sam's bed, patting the walkie talkie in my pocket.