The weeks raced away towards the trip. Luggage was sorted, clothing sorted, packed, unpacked, re-sorted and packed again. A list written up, with all the bits and bobs that were needed for the big adventure.

"We're off mum, anything else?" Stephen walked in holding the list and his wallet.

"Keep that safe" I nodded towards his wallet. "Be good, don't ask John for anything NOT written on the list"

"OK mum"

"Promise, John is not to buy ..why am I telling you.. John. John?"

"Yes dear" John poked his head over Stephens shoulder. Stephen pulled his nose "Hey watch it. This is national treasure I'll have you nossee!" John and I laughed but Stephen didn't get the joke.

"Just the stuff on the list, he is not to beg, borrow or steal from you for more. OK? "

"Yes Mum" John did a Stephen impression "But whhhhhyyyy" I through a pile of socks at them "get outta here"

"Ummm SHE will drop Sean off at noon. Good luck with that" John through a few socks back and took off.

An hour and Sean would be back, I'll sort his bag when the rest of his clothing arrives.

***********

"Mummy the door" Jas came into her room as I was tidying up the bed and straightening her books.

"Stay here ok"

I walked to the door my mind working overtime as I moved down the hall 'I can do this, she is Sean's mum I should get to know her seeing as I look after Sean. But what if she has a go at me about John. Stop it just get the door' I stood at the door now and wiped my sweating palms down my jeans and smoothed my hair in the hall mirror. I opened the door....

"About time" SHE marched in pushing me to the side " John. John where are you?"

"He isn't here. He went out to.."

"Why! I said I would be here at noon. That's not good enough. Who are you anyway, the newest tramp" If only she knew how close her words were to true. SHE narrowed her eyes to slits staring at me, looking me over from head to toe. I shifted from foot to foot.

"Hi, I'm Sam, Sean's nanny! Pleased to meet you" I held my hand out to shake hers, she ignored me. I smiled at Sean, he was very quiet compared to how he was usually.

"Right. Nanny. He can call you what he likes but you're all the same. You'll be gone, like the rest, soon enough. Here's Sean's bag" She threw the bag at my feet, it hurt but I wasn't going to wince in front of her. I grabbed it up and went though it quickly, just as John advised, looking for the most important thing.

"Excuse me but Sean's asthma medicines. John said you were bringing the scripts over" SHE looked in the bag as if I had missed them. Then smiled, it was almost a happy leer though.

"Oh I didn't have time to do such mundane things, you're the nanny you run and get them" SHE hugged Sean and made to leave. "You know you're nothing to him, he needs a strong woman not a mouse; an ugly mouse at that" She turned and walked out the door, slamming it hard, making me jump.

"Sean, Jasmine is in her room would you like to go see her, I'll make some lunch" Sean took off yelling Jasmines name.

I needed to make a phone call....

"Hello, I need an afternoon appointment with Doctor Lee.... Yes I know it is last minute...the young boy's mother had the scripts but hasn't given them to his father... ...... Sorry yes, I'm the nanny........ Well it's not really convenient next week you see we leave on an international flight tomorrow morning.........surely just a 5 minute.... Nothing........ look would it help if I mentioned this was John Lennon's' son Sean...... ok see you at 1.30...thank-you" Drop the name Lennon and doors and doctor's offices open....

I quickly hurried Jas and Sean through lunch and made sure we had shoes, coats and hats as it was starting to get cold outside. I wrapped a scarf around each child's neck then grabbed the keys, my bag, Sean's insurance cards and wrote a quick note for Stephen and John.

Hi J and S

Gone to get script filled for Sean. Appointment at 1.30. Will grab Jas and my last-minute things too. Sandies in fridge!

Xx S S and JaS

After I filled the script at the chemist we walked a few more blocks to the department store. Sean and Jas sat in the trolley and read the list for me.

"Mum and Jas Swimsuits........ mummy those are nice for me" I tossed them at her making her laugh "thank-you mummy!" She saw a hat she liked, this is easy. We moved through the children's wear department I spotted a hat for Sean, popping it on his head. "That's not on the list mummy".

"But Jas, he looks so nice in it"

"OK but no more"

Yes Jas" I'm pretty certain she heard my earlier conversation with Stephen.

"Swimmers mum, over there............. Yellow dots and a hat... it's pretty isn't it Sean" Jas grabbed his head from out of the picture book he was reading and lifted it up, Sean nodded but wasn't interested.

"Its very...."

"Mummy we don't have time to look at everything. It's pretty it looks nice near your skin and your hair" My daughter, the fashion expert, proceeded to reel off the attributes of the bikini, I grabbed it and a one piece too, in teal with hibiscus patterns. Jas cast a disapproving eye over the list -one pair of swimmers.

"What, its half price! Bargain. Sunscreen 50+ " I smiled at her and she laughed. Paying the cashier was quick as no one was in the swimwear department in Autumn. We cut through a corner of Central Park on the way back, Sean and Jasmine jumping in the autumn leaves. Jas collecting a few to use for art when we got back.

Sean pushed the door open and we stumbled in, my hands were frozen from not wearing gloves. "Daddy!!" Sean jumped into Johns arms.

"Give me those" John took the bags out of my hands touching my icicles of fingers. "You, hot shower, warm yourself up I'll make the kids cocoa" He shoved me gently down the hallway.

After a lovely warm shower I sat down on the couch, John strolled in. Picking up my hand as he handed me my cocoa "Better! So she forgot the meds, did she"

"Too busy apparently" He rolled his eyes as I offered up her excuse.

"And....." He waited, She had a mean mouth and he knew it.

"What... ... ok, yes she had a go. I'm a mouse, not strong enough for you and......and....an ugly mouse at that" It didn't bother me much coming from her, I knew she was being bitchy but when a woman is told this over and over it goes into the psyche. I acted blasé but John didn't buy it.

"Ignore the haters, it's what's in here" He pointed at my heart "that counts"

"So....... I'm pretty on the inside"

"Fuck Sam" He gazed at me trying to figure out the best way of handling my bruised ego. The chip on my shoulder a gaping wound. "Look I always see everything in a person, well I try, I'm a lover not a hater .....you're beautiful inside and out." John preceded to kiss each point to get his message across "I love your eyes....... Nose.......... your dimple when you laugh............ your lips" He lingered on my lips longer, caressing my cheek.

"You do know how to restore the faith, Mr Lennon..."

"Jas and Sean showed Stephen and I the bikini purchases; I can't wait til the holiday though, maybe a trial run later" He winked and gave me a sloppy kiss on my cheek.

"Ugh" I wiped it away. He panted like a puppy and tried again. "No, down boy. I shall put you outside. The swimmers will be on soon enough Leery Lennon, less than 24hrs nearly!"

John sat back and watched as Stephen wandered into the room then, out again "Good kid you have there, very protective of you.. and Jas of course" I nodded, he was a great boy "We had a bite to eat at Lugu's, he wanted to know my intentions" I raised my eyes in surprise "Scouts honour 'what do you want with my mum' he said" I laughed a little, holding my heart "I told him I really loved ya but it was a slow and steady road and I will NEVER hurt you. He seemed to like that..... On another note, I am the fav, me name is definitely John to him now as I'm taking him on a big holiday!"

"You said 'you love me'?"

"Yea"

"Why"

"Cause I do" John was lying back on the couch gazing off to the ceiling trying hard not to look at my face.

I sat my empty cup on the coffee table and kneeled on the couch to get a little higher than John was. Making him look at me "I love you too John Lennon" I kissed him properly this time no regrets, no holding my emotions back, no worrying bout being the nanny, the abused woman.

I said it all in that kiss. Hamilton Island here WE come.