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Am I Worth It

Well its official, my freedom is worth $99,750 plus relevant state and federal taxes. This includes confidentiality clauses for John's image, my ability to take the children out of the country for up to a year at a time, Matt not seeking shared custody and a myriad of other different legals things I didn't understand. Top that off with the attorney's fees I'm hitting over a hundred grand in bills, not bad for a girl from the outback.

"Mails here" John slides down the hall in his socks, past my room, hitting the pot plant at the end of the corridor, I hear a small crash "Oops, nothings broke! Just a bit of mess"

"Good, now, go get the broom and get cleaning!" I yell back, I'm having a camp on the bed while the children are being tutored.

"Headache again or evading me?"

"A bit of both -If I see you I will get the headache"

John waves the envelope round the corner of my doorway he is hidden from view "truce"

"OK, but behave, no more pot plant mishaps. You're worst then the kids, truly" I stand up and stretch, my shirt rides up and John just points the issue out, I pull it down and smile. "Mail?"

John slips over and lays over the bed and starts waving the windowed envelope around his head singing an early hit of a girl group "Wait, oh yes wait a minute mister postman. Wait, wait mister postman"

I yank his chain because he won't hand over the letter "The Marvellettes or The Carpenters?"

"Us, Love. The Best Band in Britain"

"Stones"

"I wasn't in that one"

"Pity" I retort quickly, jump up and run, John is up and chasing me down the hall " I luv Micks lips -Start Me Up!!"

"Stop. Wait I think I busted somthin'" John leans over grasping the couch and holding his side.

I turn back but stay away in the doorway, he's pranking me I'm sure of it "Should I check your insurance policy again- I'm listed now- right?"

"You little minx!" John starts down the hall again, I panic and try to get back to my room, I now slip, my socks turn traitor on me now. "Got ya. Your mail, madam" John squats down beside me and pushes the envelope down my shirt, it starts innocently enough but my shirt decides to gape open, buttons popping undone "oops" He starts trying to grab at the buttons to re fix them but only manages to graze my breast "oops again, again"

"Oops, my foot!" I swat him away and use his shoulder to clamber to my feet "and it's Miss now, isn't it?m!" I refer to my divorce decree being passed in court, the documents sitting in my top drawer. "You can have that, it's the last bill. Give it to me in twenty years or so, should have the cash by then" I head down the hall and proceed to throw myself across the bed, John does the same beside me. I raise an eyebrow "Can I help you?"

"Miss , I like that, has potential"

"For what? another dismal attempt at happiness, marriage and divorce- no thanks"

"Awwww, no fun" John pushes my hair back, looping the ends over my ear. "No room whatsoever for a little happiness?"

"No time. I need to pay the rent, feed the kids, wait for the papers to come you know"

"Hey Madonna! Very funny" John goes quiet his brain ticking over his eyes flittering around my face, he's features cloud and become solemn "You know it's all ok don't you, Sam, I don't want you sitting up all hours worrying about the dollars. I have heaps I would lose more on one of my hare-brained schemes truth be told"

"Or new albums"

"Arrow to the heart, nasty... Every-time, I swear, you divert to a gag or joke.... Come on straight up tell me what's going on in the head of yours, Magical Samantha "

I hold my hand up in a fist and flick a finger up in front of me to count off the hassles "One. I owe over a hundred grand to a really nice guy who insists I don't repay.....Two. I live in that same guys house welching off him ....Three. My children have just been cut off from their father by me...Four....."

"Stop it!" He grabs my hand and draws imaginary lines on my palm, he can't know what his fingers are doing to my insides. "Stop it darlin, all of that will work out, that guy you mentioned sounds like a cracker of a fella though, a keeper that one" I roll my eyes but he continues "I would pay a million dollars to see you smile like you have been, I wish you could realise the happiness you bring me with just that smile"

"You're going soft"

Kissing my palm, my insides dissolve to jelly, I can't stop my idle fingers from touching his chin and moving a few stray bits of hair that have dropped over his eyes. He jiggles his eyebrows suggestively making me giggle. Still holding my hand he brings it up to his face, I take his hint and cradle his cheek.

Time stands still til I break the trance he has me in, I lean forward a little, our lips so close I can feel his breathe.

"Daddy" Sean dashes down the hallway just like his dad did earlier, thought the pot plant is safe this time. I roll away towards my pillows like a fire had broken out.

"In here" John waves.

"Daddy!"

"Mummy, why is everyone in your room? Stephen steps through the doorway accessing the scene. Sean by now jumping on the bed.

"We were planning to have a picnic! "John saves me. "In mum's room or on the roof?!"

Jasmine wanders in drawings falling out of her arms "Jas what art work have you brought me today?" John stirs Jasmine.

"It's all for mummy" Jas places it as neatly as she can by my side and sits cross legged giving me the a rundown of each picture.

"On the roof, please sir" Stephen finally answers the picnic question "Can I please have my mum now"

"Certainly, and I'm John not sir. Sean lets go make sandwiches!" John stands up and gives a wave "see you lovelies in ten"

**************

The picnic morphed into a movie night, John set up his new toy, a movie projector on the roof and popcorn and chocolates were gobbled down, pillows blankets and lots of favourite toys helped make the night cosy and nice.

"Thank-you, this is great" I smiled over at John, Sean was yawning in his lap.

"Sean go lay down in your blanket now" Sean crawled over to his little tepee of pillows and dinosaurs next to Stephen. Stephen glancing back at us, giving me a half smile. "I saw that, what did he say to you, keep away from the leery old dude?"

I moved over a bit rearranging the blanket to cover us both, it was cold I had good reason! I also moved so I could quietly tell John of my conversation earlier with Stephen about John and Sean invading my room "He was pretty upset at first, but he wandered out and a few minutes later came back with a change of heart"

"OH that would have been when I spotted him watching Sean and I tickle and play wrestle on the kitchen floor" John found my fingers and held my hand, under the soft warm blanket.

"He wants me to be happy, he knows you're a good guy and gave his blessing to my being more pleasant to you!"

"Pleasant to me, thank Christ" I shushed him "You're so mean to me!" He tugged my arm and I moved a little closer.

"I'm not mean, I'm witty you just can't catch up to my comebacks and it pings you off! Look, no promises but I will try to be nicer, give you simpler sarcastic replies and not use retorts to garner your attention"

John leaned closer "You have my attention, you have had it since you became 'magic' in the park. Hey!! ..I have a surprise for you, us all actually, but I want to tell you first, alone. Do you think you can wait that long for my awesome surprise?"

"I think I can wait a little longer but not all night. You can't keep me in suspense that long"

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