"She was a storm,
Not the kind you run from,
The kind that you chase."
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Maaz' POV :

'Why didn't you tell me you are a planet?' An angry Zara comes running to me, her hands on her hips, her little face scrunched up.

I look up puzzled from my chocolate. Ma hugs Zara and seats her on the kitchen stool beside me.

'What happened Dina? Who is a planet?' She asks.

'Maaz is.' she points her tiny finger towards me, staring accusingly at me as if I had kept a secret from her.

Ma begins to laugh. She kisses Zara on her forehead 'Is that what Miss Grace taught you today?'

She asks referring to Zara's first grade teacher.

'Yes' Zara extends the s hissing it out in a mock angry huff. Ma seems to find her anger amusing. I'm too busy enjoying my chocolate to talk.

Zara lifts up eight fingers and begins counting, closing one after each planet, 'Mercury, Venus, Earth, Maaz, Jupiter....' Ma again laughs annoying Zara even more.

'It's not Maaz, Dina its M A R S, Mars.' she stresses the R.'Say it'

'Maaaaz' she stretches out the a.

'Rrrrr....Marrrrs'

'Mals' says Zara.

Ma smiles, she reaches for a chocolate and hands it to Zara, she playfully ruffles her hair,'It's alright, keep practicing and you'll get it.'

Zara.

One name. A thousand memories.

I lean against my chair, my sleeves folded up in my chrome black office table which is sparsely decorated. A MacBook at the center, a pen stand, a note pad and the file I am working on now which lay neglected as thoughts of Zara engulf me.

I wonder if she has those quirks which she did when she was younger, if she still fidgets with her necklace when she is nervous, if she still likes double chocolate chip ice cream, if she still loves the beach.

How much has adulthood changed her and how much has Numair?

The door opens without a knock. Leila ,my secretary stands in the doorway,'May I come in?'

'You are already inside.' I retort.

She walks over to my desk placing a file on it, 'I've scanned and mailed these documents. 'She flips open the files pointing at the pages.'What next?'

'We need to get the accounts done by next week. Quote the prices and mail it to me and I'll finalize it and send it to the companies.'

'Alright. Mr Arbaaz is waiting to see you. Shall I send him in?' She asks referring to my friend, Arhaan Arbaaz who often landed in my office considering it his second home.

The door swings open, revealing the tall figure of Arhaan his chocolate brown hair spiked up like a porcupine, 'Sure keep talking to her and don't invite me inside.'

He jerks a thumb at my secretary. She looks at him with exasperation for once her lips are sealed shut. Though efficient with her job Leila was quick to reply when poked. Arhaan being the sadist he is never failed to poke her.

My friend grins at me revealing his dimpled cheeks. He plops down on the chair opposite to me snatching the frame I had pulled closer to look at. It was an ancient picture, one taken in a different era. The era of my childhood, back when I was 8. In it Ma folds her hands around Zara and me in a chokehold bending over us smiling at the camera. Zara and I on the other hand are staring at each other giggling. Her small chubby hand covers her mouth while the other reaches out towards me her pinky finger entwined with mine.

'Thinking of her again!' He rolls his eyes dramatically.

'Hello is what you say when you greet people.' I snatch the photo back from him and place it at its corner on my desk. I run my hands through my hair.

'How was the meeting? Did she remember you?' He asks becoming serious.

'I didn't go. Ira and dad went, I backed out at the last minute. Made up an excuse of a meeting in the office.' I sigh. He brings his palm to his head.

'Great, just great. I thought you wanted to see her. You were desperate to meet her.'

'I was, I am. I'm afraid of how she will react to me. Maybe I'm a chapter she wouldn't like to read again.'

'Stop being dramatic. You have visited her after marriage so it's not like she doesn't know who you are.'

'Only initially, I used to make up excuses to come here, projects, meetings and all that. But after she got married it wasn't right. I couldn't bring myself to do it either. I think only once or twice I came, to make sure she was happy. Of course, I left disappointed. Numair was everything to her. Her eyes sparkled when he talked to her and he wasn't any less smitten. His eyes followed her around the room like she was the brightest star.' I explain. 'So did mine.' I add after a second.

'The only time you have genuinely spent time with her is when you were a kid. Isn't that like ages ago?' My best friend sometimes lacks the ability to withhold his tongue. Which also makes him a good advisor since he gives you the truth straight to your face without a care for emotions. 'Leave her behind. Why do you still obsess over her? It is unhealthy.' He shrugs.

'No Arhaan, it's not like that. It is not just a childhood thing I don't know how to make anyone understand this without coming off as a lunatic.'

I pause for a moment before continuing 'Even though a long time has passed since our childhood, I still feel connected to her. My feelings for her haven't changed over the years through time and distance. Strangely they've seemed to grow stronger with each passing day. I know she doesn't feel the same about me at all but that doesn't stop me.'

'She doesn't even like you!'

'It isn't really her fault. After all weren't we just friends? That too childhood friends at that.Alas, I was the fool who had fallen for her.'

'Like that love at first sight crap?'

'No, it wasn't like that. It is a feeling of familiarity. That I have known her for forever. It is more like, it is her and it will always be her.'

'You are messing up your life , man.'

'If only I had followed through my decision that day, how different life would have been.' I muse,
'True, it wasn't a well thought out decision but it had all my later shattered hopes resting against it. Life seriously isn't fair!'

'If you ask me, life was even more unfair to her.'

'Yes, you are right.'

'As always.' He smirks.

'There is a lot I should have said when I still had the time. Little did I know what fate had planned for her. My feelings aside, her losing Numair was not what I had ever wished for. As long as she was happy I would bear with it. Unfortunately, destiny had it's own plans.' I sigh, my eyes wandering to the frame on my desk.

It had been a few days since I'd last seen her at the library. Longing to see her again I make a split second decision, I grab my keys and stand up.

'Where you going ?!'  Arhaan stands up too, his chair rolling away by the force he stood up. He grins and pulls it back in place. I glance at the clock.

'It's lunch break. I will be back soon.' I say not disclosing my intentions.

'I was planning to go to the mall tonight. Need to do some shopping. I'll pick you up at 6, is that okay?

'Sure' I reply from the door.

I reach the library a few minutes before her. I occupy a corner grabbing a random book on my way to cover my face. I settle comfortably on the bean bag my eyes glancing towards the door. My watch seems to have stopped.

After waiting for what seemed like eternity to me in reality which was ten minutes she comes. I peek over the edge of my book, she is wearing jeans and a full sleeve sky blue tee, a white scarf is wrapped around her delicate neck. Dropping her purse at the counter she signs the log, the other guy says something to her. She quietly takes the stack of books he hands her and heads over to the non fiction area. She seems to have lost weight, she moves as if a great burden is placed on her. I wish I could share her burden and ease her pain.

She looks even thinner than that fateful day at the hospital. The day at the hospital was a chance meeting. Arhaan had asked me to drop him off at the hospital as he wanted to visit his friend. It was as if fate decided to test me. To bring her to me and take her away again.

I get up softly treading the carpet. It's quiet, not because it's a library but there aren't many people yet. It's usually empty at this time. I think that is what Zara likes about the job. I find her in the aisle marked Mystery, I smile to myself recalling her ability to see the most bizarre crime in the simplest of events. I walk down the adjacent aisle, judging her position I slowly pull out a book from the shelf making myself a peephole.

Through the break in the books my eyes devour her. She is leaning slightly against the opposite shelf her legs crossed as she reads the book in her hand. A strand of hair falls across her face. She blows at it but it stays put. It makes me smile. I replace the book back in the shelf and move away. Lunch time is almost over and I need to get back to the office. The yet unfinished file awaits me in my room.

A few minutes spent with her each week in her presence satisfy me. I wonder how long is she going to lead this reclusive life which she has created for herself. I wonder how I might be of help to her. Would she accept me again in her life? After Numair I can imagine how shut off she must have become. Like me,after ma. I long to comfort her and in a moment of weakness I had told dad that we will visit them so that I can get re acquainted with her. As the day neared I couldn't bring myself to face her. I needed time to arrange my facts, to prepare myself to uphold the task that I am now supposed to do.

***