"Some things,
and some people,
are written in your soul with permanent ink."
-JmStorm
__________________________________________________________
Bonjour mon ami,
Glad to see you back for yet another chapter.
Enjoy! Vote, share, comment !

***

For a change my thoughts aren't wandering in the direction of Numair. Meeting Ira brings back long forgotten memories of my childhood. Those carefree days where nothing bothered me until one day everything had changed.

Maaz's mom, who I'd called as 'ma' imitating him in my childish innocence was a benevolent, kind soul. She adored me and often joined us in our silly games. She pampered Maaz immensely. Losing her at the young age of 14 was a shock to Maaz. She had a sudden heart attack and was taken to the hospital. She died two days later.

It was one of those unexplained, untimely deaths.
On my insistent begging my dad had taken me along with him to the hospital, I'd argued relentlessly saying Maaz is my best friend and he needs me and I ought to be there for him and my parents had at last given in. I had  hurried to the waiting lounge to see him while my dad went to his to help him complete the formalities.

I remember him sitting on the pristine metallic hospital chair, a lost lonely figure as nurses and doctors milled around him. He sat motionless watching them pass with unseeing eyes. Perhaps recounting memories of his mom. I had shuffled forward, my own grief weighing me down, not knowing which words to use to comfort him.

Through his daze he sees me I place a consoling hand on his shoulder not relying on words. He stands up, the tips of our shoes touch as he faces me. We both being nearly the same height his face is level with mine. I clutch both his hands in mine, his blue eyes sparkle with unshed tears. I squeeze his hand and that gesture seems to snaps him.

Like a dam giving in, like a storm breaking out I feel his shields break down and he is in my arms. I hold tightly onto him, my hands winding around him. His head rests on my shoulder and tears roll down his cheek onto my neck. I hug him even tighter, my own tears now joining his.

With each sob of his I feel as if it is my heart that breaks.

He holds onto me as if I'm the only thing supporting him and without me he would fall. Perhaps he thought the same for he didn't leave me for a very long time.

After coming home, he had mostly stayed indoors with his father and sister. I hadn't gone to his house in fear of intruding their privacy. I often waited till late at night in my balcony hoping he'd come outside and talk to me. It irked me not knowing how he was feeling. It was a fortnight later when I'd dozed off on the swing in the balcony waiting for him, I heard the sound.

Tap. Tap.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
Tap. Tap.

I jostle awake and find him solemnly staring at me.

'I'm sorry' he mouths, then gestures asking if he could come over. It must be nearly 1 am. My family will be fast asleep.

I nod.

He climbs over the small railing , then carefully places his foot on the branch of the tree, extending over his balcony. I hold my breath with each step of his. He maneuvers his way with the expertise of someone who has done the same many a times. I hold out my hand to him and he grasps it jumping into my balcony.

The moon peeks out from behind the clouds illuminating him. I scan his face trying to read him and he stands there, his navy eyes fixated on me. Still groggy from sleep I head back to the swing.

He leans on the railing, 'Sorry I woke you up. I... I had to talk to you. It's so strange, all this feels unreal. I've no idea why it happened. I feel....as if I'm.......I am.......' he trails off turning towards me to see if I can make sense of his rambling.

'Lost.' I complete his sentence for him. My voice a soft whisper in the night.

The moon is behind the clouds again, wind blows rustling the leaves of the trees in our backyard. The chirping of the beetles and occasionally the sound of a passing car accentuate the night.

'Come here.' I tug him towards the swing making him sit beside me. I pull my legs up curling my hands around them and lean back waiting for him to speak.

'Dina...I'm leaving.' he blurts, using the nickname ma had used for me.

Dina she had said was small, cute and it meant 'love'. When I'd asked her how it relates to Zara she'd smiled and said it wasn't from Zara but from my surname Nadine.

Maaz continues, 'Dad decided that moving to a new place will help us cope. He says we need a fresh start. He says we need to shift. He's planning for Kuwait since it is convenient for expanding our business there.'

It's a struggle to keep emotions under control, my Maaz, my best friend leaving me. It was something I never thought would happen. Never thought that he would have to shift to an entirely different country. He unwinds my hands and pulls me in for a hug knowing how much of an emotional mess I am. He drapes my blanket over both of us and I snuggle close to keep warm, my head resting on his chest.

'I haven't slept ever since that day. I lay awake each night thinking this will be when I wake up to realize it's a dream. Every morning I wait for her to call my name waking me up, I expect her to be there when I run down to the kitchen making breakfast for me, kissing me good morning. The whole house screams her presence and yet she isn't there.' His voice is subdued, he lays his head on mine. 'I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I cannot imagine a life without her. Each day is a pain and life seems to be filled with so many days. How can she leave me so soon? What will I do without her?' His voice breaks, tears roll down my eyes. I'm speechless, I don't know what to tell him. There are no words which would make this seem ok. We sit in silence, I doodle on his hand, my finger tracing my name on it.

'I'll miss this.' He says after sometime.

'Me too.' The night is colder than before it must have been an hour since we were outside. Yet time seems to move so soon.

'So, I'll never ever see you?' I ask cautiously.

'I don't know, I might accompany dad when he comes for business meetings but those might be once or twice in a year.'

'When?' A single word filled with dread. 'We are selling the villa and most of the stuff, that will take sometime, dad is trying to hurry everything. We might leave as soon as next week.'

Just a week left. How quickly things change. How different were things a month ago. From my parents' conversations I know dad is helping uncle Adam, he'd even told mama that he will settle all his accounts here so that uncle Adam can focus on packing and moving. My parents were even considering selling our villa along with theirs.

My life as I knew it was undergoing a tremendous change.Thinking about what the future would bring us was scary.

I feel Maaz's breaths slow down and finally even beneath my cheek, he's sleep. I stay still in fear of waking him up knowing this is the first time he's truly sleeping ever since ma's death. I cannot imagine losing someone I'm that close to. I couldn't comprehend how Maaz was being strong about it. Except at the hospital I hadn't seen him cry once. Though he didn't show it, I knew his grief was immense, he was after all his mama's boy.

The rays of the sun glinting on my face wake me up. My movement jostles Maaz, dark blue eyes lidded by his thick lashes laced with sleep look at me questioningly. A moment later his face clears as he looks around and remembers last night.

'Morning' I whisper, pushing myself up. He attempts a smile, stretching himself.

'I should go.' he murmurs.'Dad or Ira might notice I'm not there or worse your family will see me here.'

He walks to the railing I hold his hand stopping him. 'Not that way, I'll get you out through the door. It's too early, I doubt my family is awake.'

'This isn't my first time, you know. I've been across the tree thousands of times.'

'But not groggy with sleep'. I retort. 'You can slip out from the kitchen window.'

Our kitchen windows were  huge enough for us to move in or out. They were mostly closed but not locked as they only opened into our backyard. He often snuck back into his house through it. His mom had once caught him when she'd woken up for a glass of water. He had received a sound scolding but that didn't stop us. I was glad she didn't find out about us crossing the tree to each other's room.

I check my parents bedroom, then tip toe to Ziyan's, Eliza is fast asleep on our bed. I find the coast clear so I grab Maaz's hand and we both pad down the stairs and into the kitchen. I slide the window open and he noiselessly jumps out. I put my head out and watch him jog across the yard to his window, sliding it open. He salutes and I wave back at him. I head back when he's safely inside.

I rush upstairs to my balcony and there he is standing in his. I show him a thumbs up.'Mission accomplished.' he says our signature dialogue.

'Go sleep.' I tell him, he nods and heads to his room.

Exhausted by the events of the night I fall asleep as soon as my head sinks onto the pillow.

***

'You aren't taking this?' I ask holding up his hot wheels set. I'm sitting on Maaz's bed inspecting his now messed up room. His wardrobe and drawers are emptied out. Boxes are stacked up, some filled, some yet to be packed.

'No, there isn't space. We won't be able to take everything.'

'How much more you need to pack?'

'I don't really know, Ira is packing most of my things.'

'Coming to the beach with me?' I ask in an attempt to improve his solemn mood.

'Please, please please, it might be our last time.' I beg before he can say no. Reluctantly he follows me out of his house. The sun is bright and I shield my eyes against its glare. When my vision clears I see Maaz looking at the flower bed which his mom had so lovingly planted.

'Race you to the beach!' I yell, touching his hand to bring him out of his reverie. With another glance towards the now wilted flowers, he flickers a smile at me and breaks into a sprint. I run as fast as my small legs can carry me, enjoying the feel of the wind blowing through my hair.

'I win.' he yells standing at the edge of the water.

'Only because I let you.' I lie. He rolls his eyes at me detecting my lie.

The remaining few days pass quickly. Winding up your whole life in boxes isn't an easy job. I help Maaz and Ira in whatever way I can. Little Eliza too joins us, being only eight I don't think she understood much but she offered to help in whatever way she could. Too soon it's time for them to leave. On the last night mama organizes a barbecue, it is a bitter sweet affair knowing it is the last time our families would be hanging out together.

My dad and uncle Adam talk late into the night. I vaguely remember mama dragging me upstairs after I'd fallen asleep on the grass in the middle of a card game, Ziyan, Ira, Maaz and I were playing. Eliza had fallen asleep earlier.

The next day evening it's time for them to leave. Dad was going to drive them to the airport. We all stood at the gate, Ziyan and Eliza bade their goodbyes. Mama had hugged Ira for a long time. I stood staring at the ground, not knowing how to say goodbye.

'Get inside, Maaz.' Ira calls out to him from the car.

My dad takes his seat behind the wheel. I glance up to see Maaz standing in front of me,'This is strange,' he says putting out his hand towards me 'I never thought we'd do this.' I put my hand forward to shake his in spite of knowing what he is going to do next.

'Take care Dina.' he pulls his hand before my hand reaches him and playfully pulls my nose. Instead of batting away his hand as usual, I smile at him.

And just like that he was gone.

I had spent many sleepless nights lying on my bed looking at his room through my balcony. My young mind couldn't understand these foreign concepts, of life, of death and its accompanying changes. Without them our home had lost it's meaning. Few months later dad had shifted us to another villa where we began life anew. Time passed, I grew up, joined a new school, found new friends. A new routine had been set in our life.

And Maaz became a long lost chapter of my life.

***