"There are plenty of ways to die,
But only love can kill
And keep you alive
To feel it."
- Leo Christopher
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Maaz:

Soft black tresses, brown eyes, incandescent smiles flash behind my eyelids. I welcome them delving deeper, piecing it together on the heart-shaped face that they belong to. Conflicted brown eyes peering up from beneath eyelashes rival another paper of brown eyes much carefree, filled with love and dripping innocence. Zara as of now and the Zara I had known before.

As dreams and realities mingle on the brink of sleep a clear picture springs to mind, of a day-long suppressed under the atrocities of time.

I smile unnecessarily as the shopkeeper wraps the ring into a small blue velvet box. A beautiful ring with small white stones surrounding a larger oval sapphire. An engagement ring.

I'm going to ask her to marry me. The thought alone makes me excited but nervous at the same time. Will she accept me? We have been friends since forever but would she be willing to accept this new turn to our relationship?

I have my doubts but I cannot let this chance slip away. It may be the last time we meet before I leave for London. It will be another year before I return and a lot can happen in one year. Someone else might claim her before I do.

I cannot let that happen.

As I get ready for the party tonight at her house, dad comes into my room. He stares at my reflection in the mirror, keenly observing the extra efforts I have put in to dress up. Noticing my hair which isn't sticking up in all directions for once. My hand flutters nervously to my pocket where the ring is.

'Something special?' He asks with a sly grin.

I'm sure he already knows about my feeling towards her though we have not talked about it and is only questioning to make me uncomfortable.

'Yes,' I reply, my lips splitting into an even bigger smile on their own accord.

His questioning gaze meets mine.

' I.. I'm thinking of.... proposing to her.'

Dad looks taken aback, 'But does she even know?'

'No... not yet but I will tell her tonight.' Hearing me talk aloud I realize how unreasonable I sound. But this my only chance.

'Maaz, are you sure about this?' He asks carefully 'Don't you think you are rushing into it? Did she ever tell you anything to show she felt the same towards you?'

'No', I manage to whisper in a defeated way. I run my hands through my hair disrupting them.

'I don't want you to hurt yourself Maaz, I understand you have been friends before but it's been a while since you have talked to her. She isn't the little girl who used to follow you around the whole day. She has grown up and so have you. Do you really know her anymore?'

My dad's words are nothing but the truth. It's been ages since we have talked apart from the formal greeting we say to each to other on various occasions where we happened to meet.

But how do I explain the effect her presence has on me? How do I tell my dad that I do not dream of any other girl but her? The way she tilts her head when she talks, a slow smile spreading across her cheeks, revealing her dimples. The way she sometimes articulates her words by hand gestures, her delicate, fair hands waving in the air. Long thin fingers that I desire to entwine with mine. Big, honey-colored eyes, mesmerizing me with their depth making me wonder what lies beneath them.

She was beautiful not only from the outside but from within. Her kindness reflected in the way she treats everyone, her generosity shown in the simple acts she does for her family. The care she shows towards all. The way the kids at the orphanage she volunteers at adore her reflected her selfless, unconditional love. And I had fallen in love with the way she loves. I wish to be the receiver of such pure, divine love.

I wish to make her mine.

That is all I know.

My dad stays silent as my brain tries to process his words and my thoughts.

'We can get to know each other. But I don't have enough time.....A feeling of helplessness washes over me.'

Dad's face is filled with sympathy and understanding as he says 'You are only leaving for studies, a year will pass soon and you will be back before you realize, she isn't going anywhere. Don't let time constraints make you take hasty decisions that you might regret later. If you truly are meant for her then you both will definitely unite. No matter how many detours your life takes, it will ultimately take you to her.'

'But.....' 

'First talk to her, find out if she feels the same. Don't get so involved without involving her. It takes two to begin a relationship.' He glances down at his wristwatch, 'Now hurry up we are already late.'

The pain shown on the face of the boy in the mirror is agonizing. I grab my mobile from the dresser tucking it into my pocket and rush outside. Dad is waiting near the car, he hands me the keys indicating that I should drive. I focus my attention on the task at hand trying very hard to forget about the little blue box I left behind in front of the mirror.

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A/N : Another Maaz chapter. Hope it was intriguing to chance a glimpse into his thoughts.
See you soon.

Peace.