Barry's POV

Fear. That was the main emotion I was feeling in this moment as I look at the casing that surrounded Raven's body; the same one that was around Wally's as well. We went into that place with the upper hand...yet we came out on the losing side.

And it was all my fault.

"What was that thing?" H.R. asks all of us as we stare at the husks of Raven and Wally.

Everyone is silent for a moment, unsure on what answer to give him. I press my finger to my chin as I turn towards him, taking my eyes off of Raven. "He called himself Savitar, the God of speed."

"He had you everywhere in the city simultaneously," Cisco breathes as he shakes his head, referring to the little fight I had with Savitar earlier tonight. "I'm not really one to believe in a speed God, but maybe he is."

"He's not a God," I state, making sure to set that clear with everyone.

H.R. pipes in again. "None of us could even see him besides you, Barry-"

"Raven could see him too," I say, looking back down at her on the table. "She spoke to him before she was hit by that stone...something about needing her as much as he needs me?"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Iris asks, crossing her arms. Everyone is silent once again.

"Wally and Raven are okay," Caitlin says then as she hooks up more monitors. "Vitals are normal, but it doesn't look like they'll be waking back up anytime soon."

My heart sinks a little lower in my chest. "I'm sorry for this. I told you I would get Alchemy and protect them-"

"It's not your fault, Barry," Cisco assures me. "We couldn't prevent this from happening...I just hope that they wake up okay."

My eyes drift back down to Raven again as I think about her waking up, wondering what this was going to mean for her. Would she wake up without powers? Would she wake up with more powers? Would she even wake up at all?

"Standing around won't do much good. It's late guys, go home and get some rest," Caitlin tells all of us, giving a hopeful faint smile. Everyone nods towards her and starts to leave the room, except for Iris.

She stands next to me in silence for awhile before speaking. "Everything is going to be okay, Bar. You did what you could. None of us saw Savitar coming-"

"But we knew what we were walking into," I state, shaking my head. "The goal was to stop Alchemy and to stop him from taking Wally and Raven. I failed."

"We'll get Alchemy, don't worry about him," Iris assures me. "Wally was going to die if he didn't go to Alchemy, and it seemed that the same was happening to Raven too. This could be a good thing...Wally has always wanted powers anyways."

I look over at Iris. "I know...it's just, I feel like this is still my fault. We weren't able to figure out what was wrong with Raven, and we couldn't stop Alchemy from taking them both. If I can't protect them from that, then how am I supposed to protect you all from anything? From Savitar?"

Iris is silent for a moment before she places her hand on my shoulder, just like how she always did when we were younger. "You can't put the entire weight of the world on your shoulders, Barry. You will win battles, and you will lose some. But that's apart of growing; of becoming a better hero. You can't save everyone."

"But I can try," I state.

"And that's what sets you apart from everyone else," she continues. "Even after losing, you still continue to fight for what you believe in. But Barry, sometimes you need to stop and give yourself some credit. We are a team here; we accept the loses with you. We're here to help you, not blame you for those loses."

I nod my head slowly, knowing that everyone was here for me. They always have been, and I was thankful to have them as a team. "I know that Iris, but I created flashpoint that started all of this. That was my fault. And now Raven is dying, and we don't know if she's even going to wake up-"

"Either way, you gave her a second chance. You said she had died in that original timeline...if it wasn't for you, she would have died at the hands of Hunter. You might have messed up a few things in the process, but you gave her another chance to really live again, Barry. Even if things don't work out in the end...and I hope that they do work out, she still got that chance to find herself again, thanks to you."

I smile faintly, my eyes drifting from her back to Raven. Iris stands there for a moment with me before she pats my shoulder, turning away to leave the room. As I stand there alone, I can't help but reach out and lay my hand on the table, feeling as if it put me closer to her. I close my eyes briefly and think to myself:

Please, come back to me.

-*+*-

Raven's POV

Air floods my lungs as I gasp, opening my eyes to find myself standing. Before I can even process where I am, I realize that this wasn't real; this was inside of my mind...a dream. When I do get the chance to finally see my surroundings, I pause when I realize that I was standing outside of my childhood home.

A little breath of air escapes my lungs as I stare at it, seeing it as how I remembered it. A large two-story light brown house, one with a large oak tree right out front. My light blue bike that I once had was lying there in the driveway, along with a few other toys scattered here and there that my parents had gotten me.

It looked exactly how it did the last day I had been here.

I start to walk forwards as I take it all in; the cracks in the concrete that I made sure to avoid as a child, the hose with a sprinkler attached on the end of it that I spent many hot days running through, and even the pair of muck boots I had sitting on the porch for the rainy days. Mom always hated it when it rained, since I always wanted to play in the puddles and that always led to me tracking a mess inside of the house.

When I finally make it to the front porch, I can't help but pause in front of the white door I had walked through many times before. I knew that something was going to be behind it, and I wasn't sure if I was ready to know what it was.

However, I find myself turning the knob and opening it, letting the door slowly creak open, just like how it always did. Seeing inside tore me up more than seeing the outside. I take a few steps inside as I look around, all of it still being the exact same. The family photos were still up on the wall, along with the welcome sign that mom had made herself.

It was just then that it occurred to me that I hadn't been back here since the day my entire life was taken away from me; the day Hunter killed my parents and took me.

"Raven?" I hear a familiar voice say, one that I haven't heard in years. When I turn to find who it belonged to, I couldn't help but find tears falling down my face.

"Dad?"

Before I know it, I'm running towards him and throwing him in my arms, tears streaming down my face. He hugs me tightly back, and suddenly, it felt like I really was home.

"You've gotten so big," he breathes into my neck. "What happened to my little girl?"

I let out a little laugh as I pull away, letting the tears fall. "I've missed you so much. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about what happened that night-"

"Shh," he tells me as he reaches up and wipes my tears away. "It's nothing you could have prevented."

"But I let him take control of my life, Dad." I let a sob out. "He took you and mom away from me, and I fought by his side for years. I'm so sorry-"

"You were young," he assures me, taking both of my hands into his. "You didn't know what you were doing. Either way, I'm proud of the person you've become. But it isn't your time, Raven."

I pause for a moment. "My time? What do you mean?"

"This place...it's for people like me. People that aren't among the living anymore."

I shake my head, more confused than ever. "This is a dream, I'm not dead-"

"This isn't a dream, Raven." He shakes his head, looking down at the ground. "Why are you here?"

I take a step back, not sure what to think. "I uh...I-I was dying. I had to go to Alchemy, and he did this to me. But I'm not dead, I can't be."

My father looks at me with large eyes. "You aren't yet, but I don't know how you got here. You can't stay here much longer, Raven, or else you will be stuck here."

Suddenly, time started to feel as if it was slipping away from me. "I don't want to leave you-"

"It's not your time, Raven." He reminds me, faintly smiling at me. "I'll always be here. You have more you still have to do back there...for your friends. Your family."

The word family starts to bounce around inside of my mind. "Where's mom?"

He shakes his head, his eyes still wide as can be. "She hasn't been here, Raven. She never has."

I furrow my eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

My father shakes his head as he pushes me towards the door. "You need to go, Raven. You don't have much time before you're stuck here-"

"I can't say goodbye to you again," I reply, tears continuing to fall down my face.

He stops for a moment and smiles at me. "I'll see you soon, Raven. I love you."

Those are the last words I hear him say before him, the house, and everything vanishes in front of me, plunging me back into darkness. It wasn't long before the next thing I know, I'm gasping awake again, but for real this time.

"She's awake!" I hear someone yell, but everything was fuzzy to me. The voices were distorted, the room was spinning, and it felt like I couldn't get a grasp on life itself. Something was different about me, that much I knew for certain.

I try and make myself move, but I couldn't. Before I know it, I feel a hand wrap around mine, and I didn't have to look to know that it was Barry's. I hear him try and speak to me, but the voice sounded too far away to grasp.

After a few seconds of trying to listen, I finally make out some of the words. "How are you feeling?"

I try my best to answer the question, but I really didn't know the answer yet. "I-I'm okay."

"I was worried about you there," Barry says to me as I look up at him, finding his eyes. Something about them seemed more beautiful to me now, and I wasn't sure why.

I try my best to give him a smile. "I'm okay."

And I was. I felt better than I had in years, but there was something off about me, and I couldn't put my finger on it. It wasn't until months later I realized what that something was, and it was something that made me wonder if my life was really worth the cost.

If losing everything was worth the cost.

-*+*-

sorry not sorry for the sad little Raven and dad scene...I recently saw Deadpool 2 which inspired that so blame Ryan Reynolds mmk. (such a good movie I recommend) but I also wanted to get the ball rolling for Raven's mom once again...since the last time we saw her was in book 1 before Zoom wiped her memory.

As for Raven, we'll figure out what Alchemy did to her later on. I know, I know, you probably hate me for not knowing it now, but you'll most likely guess it as the story progresses. Give you guys something to keep reading for!

Other than that, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and the sad Barry GIF up there...don't forget to vote n comment! xx